by Louis Tamasi
I want to thank Bob for giving me the opportunity to share my experiences of living in Davao through his blog. I am 33 years old and like most Americans I was stuck in a day to day living cycle with a dead end job. For many years I had been helping to take care of my mother who had Lupus and it is a truly unbelievable pain watching the ones you love slowly succumb to a debilitating illness. My mother passed away on August 15th, 2006 and while I knew she was in a better place, it left me with an empty sadness now that she was gone. Fate however had much more in store for me because in November I met Venice on MySpace. She is 26 years old and I found that she was living in Davao, Philippines. Now interestingly enough I already had a good knowledge of the Philippines thanks to a Filipino history teacher in High School and a friend that had been to Cebu 2 times in the past. Venice and I talked for 3 months and I made my first trip over here in January. I was immediately impressed with the pace of life over here and the generosity of the Philippine people. Many things are still done by hand and the way things are done have not changed much over the years. It was like a step back in time for me, quite a treat for someone as interested in history as I am. When I met Venice in person it was love at first sight. I knew she was the girl for me and that she would love me more than anyone I could find back in the USA. What was supposed to be a 1 month stay turned into a 3 month vacation and on February 15th I asked her to marry me. It was a wonderful time for me, marred only by a bout with Dengue Fever. At the end of my stay I knew I wanted to come back over here to stay and raise a family. I spent a month back in the US to tie up some loose ends and now here I am to stay. This past month has been spent planning and getting together the endless paperwork needed to marry over here, but now all that is done and the date is set, July 10th! I am excited and nervous at the same time. Needless to say my first few blogs will be about love and marriage here in the Philippines. It is quite a different experience and a different culture but it is now my adopted home and she has welcomed me with open arms.
About Guest
Hi Louis – Welcome aboard! I enjoyed reading your first blog. Sorry to hear about your Mom. I have experienced a number of losses in my life, and understand how you must feel. Good luck with the wedding too! I’ve got that experience in common with you as well! Feyma and I were married in 1990 in General Santos City. I am sure you are in for some wonderful and interesting years ahead!
Hi Louis, congratulations on getting married soon, you won’t regret it ! looking foward to hearing more about it, maybe we can see the wedding pics sometime, best wishes from Pete and Gina
hi louis i know how you feel. i will be moving to davao this december my fiancee and i will be planning our wedding for january. hope to see you around davao and talk history. check out the gap very interesting place.
Thanks everyone for all the welcomes and words of encouragement.
Hi Louis!
Looking forward to reading your blogs about Mindanao. Be careful with mosquitos!
Ayoayo and God bless in your wedding. Hope to see your wedding photos.
Hello Louis and welcome! I am very interested to read your upcoming posts about love and marriage in the Philippines! I am dating a filipino guy here in the states. He has been here for 5 years. But it is my hope and dream that someday, we will be going back there to Philippines to get married.
Also, Congrats to you and your bride-to-be! I wish you a lifetime of happiness wherever your path may lead together!
Hi Louis, Bill Huff here…..i am very excited about reading everything you have to share. I wanted to ask you about your marraige plans…….you stated that the paper work was endless. Why did it take so long for you to be able to get married…????……was it personal, or really all the red tape..???…. I will be coming to live in Butuan City this September, as i have told Bob….and will be getting married soon after to a wonderful Lady that i have known now for close to a year. My understanding is that Lou & i will need to obtain a ” Certificate of Leagal Capacity to Contract Marriage”..from the US Embassy…..either from Manila or Cebu, then apply for a marriage licence, wait at least 10 days….then get married any time after that…….am i missing something…????……i would love to know your experiance in going through all of this, and why it took so long..???
Well there’s 2 types of marriage over here Bill, Civil and Church, just like the USA… but with differences. For a civil ceremony you need the legal capacity for marriage and a certified copy of your birth certificate along with photocopies of your passport front page and latest entry stamp. They want photocopies of everything and in triplicate. If you’re like me and going for a church ceremony then in addition to that you will need a letter from your parish priest giving permission to marry here, a certified copy of your baptismal certificate and cert copy of confirmation certificate. It was all the church paperwork that took time and then I had to be confirmed in San Pedro Cathedral downtown because I was never confirmed in the US. Most foreigners opt for the civil wedding, but if you plan on living here and your girl is religious like mine a church wedding is better if you are Catholic. The church here has no problem ex-communicating people for marrying in a civil ceremony and to get your children baptized takes a long “counceling” session if your marriage is civil. I decided to go the church route to make my girl happy and to advoid problems when we have kids.
Hi Louis – Feyma and I were also married in a Church service here. I really do believe it is the right thing to do. In addition, a lot of folks go with fiancee visas and get married in the States. I believe it is better to marry here, to give the girl a chance to let her family enjoy the service, etc. Especially if she will be moving to the States. Having such a family affair may be the last such event she gets to enjoy with her family before moving so far away.
It’s just my personal opinion, others may feel differently.
ok so i have a question now ? im not catholic nor is my fiancee can we still get married in a church with just the leagal capacity to marry and my birth cert. and passport
Well Ken, I can’t really answer that question without a few more details. Obviously you’re getting married here in the PI. What religion are you and your fiancee. There are many religions covered here in Davao, i.e. they have places of worship, so I don’t think you would have a problem finding a place to get married. As for a Catholic church, unless you have all the paperwork I mentioned above it’s a “no can do” situation, they’re strict about it.
we are baptist ,my fiance goes to one of the baptist churches there in davao, i guess we will have to talk to the pastor and find out if there is any extra paper work involved.thanks …see you around davao in december