by Billie Martin
Well, here I am, Billie Martin, Bob’s mother. I would like to say that I have met Feyma’s Mother and family many times and I dearly love them. Feyma’s mother and I can’t speak the same language but we love and respect each other. Sadly, I didn’t get to meet her father, he passed away just three months before my husband died.
Let me step back a bit and tell you how it was for me when Bob, Feyma and the children moved to General Santos.
I will tell you a little about myself. I am a very happy person and very seldom get mad and my husband was the same way. We tackled our problems straight on and with positive thinking and a sound mind. I tend to tease a lot and have a lot of fun in life.
In 1979 we lost our only daughter in an auto accident with a drunk driver. My husband and I both felt and I still do today that the Lord needed her while she was young and innocent. The man that hit her died also and just maybe that made it easier on my husband and I. Charlotte was 15 and a half and a beautiful young teenager. She had beautiful red hair, freckles and a wonderful smile. She was a fire baton twirler at school, coming home from her first night practice when she was killed. She was a very thoughtful, caring young women. When we lost her, of course we missed her terribly and when I was weak my husband held me and when he was weak I held him. Our whole family prayed to her each evening as I still do today. A death is something that you can’t do anything about. You have to look at all the good things that people do for you during that time and at all your wonderful memories and that helps you throughout everything. Your memories of all the good get better and the bad slightly fade, but you never stop missing your loved one.
In 1993, Robert (my husband) and I had 5 moves and we were both quite tired, but we just kept busy and did what we had to do. Tuesday morning April 20th my husband didn’t come down for breakfast, so I went to tell him breakfast was ready. When I found him (I won’t go into details), he was already gone. I immediately called 911 but it was too late. I had a memorial service the next day in St. Johns, New Brunswick, Canada where we lived and then flew to the States and had the funeral. We had only lived in our home for 3 weeks and had just gotten back from the states where we saw our sons, Bob and Mick. Three weeks later I went back to Canada and had our things packed and moved back to the States.
Robert had only been with the company that he worked for for 5 months, they had pursued him for a while, because he was a very well known executive and vice president in the paper industry. They tried to get out of their contract with him and I had to battle them through the court system for almost 6 years to get them to honor the terms of his contract. You can all come to the conclusion that I was just exhausted and just wanted my life to get better.
I’m sorry for rambling on, but we are finally to the part when Bob and Feyma decided to move to the Philippines, which came 7 years after my husband’s death. I couldn’t find the words to tell you how heartbroken I was. I love Feyma as if she was my real daughter and so I felt like I was losing 5 family members all over again. I must say that I couldn’t see Bob’s side at all and he couldn’t see mine. We argued all the time and it got to the point that we couldn’t even be around each other. Bob and I had always been very close. One thing that I forgot to say was that I was very close to Bob, Feyma and their kids and saw them almost daily. Those unconditional hugs and kisses from their kids saved me when I lost my husband.
When they moved, I was very broken and numb. Bob and I continued to argue. Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways. The day before Bob had his stroke, we got in an argument and I am ashamed to say that I told him that I wouldn’t ever go to the Philippines because I felt that it was so dangerous, He said “what if I die” and I said that I couldn’t come.
Well, a few days later Feyma called and told me about Bob’s stroke and that he almost died. Guess what? The mama booked a flight and came. Isn’t it sad that it took Bob being sick for me to come? This is my 4th trip to the Philippines and it’s a long hard trip but I am in good health now and eager to come each time. I came for Thanksgiving and Christmas last year and now for two of the children’s birthdays. I now love it here, especially Davao City. The heat and the poverty get to me but there are a lot of wonderful things I love. For as long as my health is intact, I plan to come here yearly. The people are wonderful, the PORK AND FRUIT ARE THE BEST. I forgot to say that I know that God sent Bob, Feyma and the children here for lots of reasons.
I’m afraid that I rambled on a bit, but it was fun to tell you how I felt then and now.
Love and Hugs,
Grandma Billie – the other “America Lola”
About Guest
Hi Grandma billie,
Welcome and thank you for sharing your brief story, if that is you rambling…. then please ramble some more.
You have been through some difficult times but you have come through to where you are now and I wish you well.
I look forward to more posts from you.
You signed off as “Grandma Billie” so I hope you don’t mind me using it in my greeting.
Welcome, Grandma Billie. You should know that we know all about you. Apparently, you have been fortunate to have a son that loves you very much (and, thus, talks about you a great deal). Feyma does as well. Isn’t it nice to be so loved?
Tom
Hello, Billie, from one American Lola to another, welcome! I really appreciated your story and I am so glad you get to come here and be with the family! I am really hoping we can meet while you are here! I agree about the pork and the fruit!
Aha! Well, we can certainly see where Bob gets his blogging talent. Wonderful post.
Hi Grandma Billie,
We’ve heard so much about you from Feyma and Bob. I’ve been wondering what you were like. Now, I know you are a fun-loving, caring, very positive person. Of course, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?
I’m glad to hear that you love Davao, my hometown. I apologize for what you had to go thru at NAIA. I hope it doesn’t happen again. I look forward to meeting you in person. One of these days… Stay well and enjoy what Davao, and Mindanao, has to offer! 
Hi Grandma Billie aka the other AmericanLola:
I love your stories. Hope you will keep writing in LiP.
The chicharon I got is California made, not as the one Feyma described. Isn’t it nice to have oily hot, crunchy chicharon with a little meat with it ? Have a lovely time with your family in Davao and enjoy your durian, mangoes, mangosteen and pomelo!
What a pleasant Monday surprise to hear from the other “American Lola”! Now I have two American Lolas to admire. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. We all know you’re there for a few weeks so indeed it’s generous of you to take time out to visit with us thru the blog.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your stay. May you have beautiful, beautiful memories to take home. Your family is wonderful, now we can see where Bob got his sunny disposition.
All the best,
-Angie
Welcome Home, Grandma Billie.
Welcome on the site Billie you are very lacky you have your son Bob he is good person he is make this site give to me many information and advice about life in philippines and also explain my papers for
philippines. Also feyma she is good person.
Regards From Athens Greece
Hello Lola Bille, may I please introduce myself to you, my wife and I are freinds of your son and daughter in law, we are Peter and Gina Bennett from London UK, we are regulars on Bobs Blog, dont worry about the rambling, it was great to read your story, although i never knew Bob had a stroke.
Lola Bille, do you know how many freinds of Mindanao Bob there are around the world, we have quite a few in the London area, there are many more readers than contributors, the core contributors are always there, but there are thousands of other readers who you never hear of, I am sure they will love your story, thank you for sharing, and can we hear some more form you soon.
Hope you had a pleasant trip back to your home, and hoping you had good treatment at NAIA Manila on your way home, warmest regards
Gina and Peter
Hi granny
Can I be your new british son???(im 47)
See you later this week.
And good news for you HAROLD is back next week he enjoyed your company so much!!!
Hey John,
If Grandma Billie adopts you, she has to adopt all of us! It’s all or nothing!
Hi Lola Billie,
Dont worry about your rambling, I do it all the time…hehehe.
Nice to meet you, good health to you all.
Ian
Hi Grandma Billie!
I read your story few days ago, I just decided to post a comment now before it gets too late.
First off, welcome to LIP blog! I hate to say it but this blog is addicting. I will blame your son for that.
Thanks also for sharing your story. I can empathize with your loss/es because my father passed away in a similar way as your husband did. He and my Mom were just talking in their bedroom, then, my Mom left to get something. When she came back, he’s gone. Though we’re sad for what happened, we were glad at the same time that God did not let him suffer. I was in Michigan when it happened. I was glad that my husband met him before he died.
On your case, you still have your sons, esp. Bob and his family whom you can shower your love. Yes, I agree with others, you are lucky to have them in your life.
Hope you have a wonderful stay in Davao!
Hello and welcome Lola Billie, I’ve heard Bob and Feyma mention you so often I feel as if I know you … but I didn’t know you at all .. I didn’t know Bob inherited his blogging expertise from you
I don’t feel you ramble at all … you had a story to tell and yu did it well. I know there are people who can’t seem to read more thna a few hundred words at a time. bu there’s plenty of ‘say nothing” blogs that will serve them well … here at LinP you get the “real story”.
It’s very appropriate too that you pursue the subject matter of how the parent’s feel when the children make such a move. It’s abig, big consideration for many people … and sadly many will never know if they made the right descison becuase they don’t persevere for fear of “upsetting” mom or dad. It’s great that you share with us and I hope this won’t be your one and only post here.
Lola Billie,
Thank you for sharing your story with us! Enjoy your family and your vacaton…..but write to us again…..and again. Thank you.
Karen
hi lola billie your son has friends as far as here in south africa .thanks for your story a pleasure to read. enjoy the time with your familywekeep them on their and welcome to bob and feymas world wide extended family.
Thank you everyone for writing to me. It was my first time blogging and it was fun to see what everyone had to say. Bob and Feyma tell me that this can be addicting and I am beginning to believe them.
Gerry,
Thanks for responding to my note. I’m happy that you didn’t think that I was rambling on, because I can do that sometimes. I don’t mind at all when people call me grandma Billie. I feel that being a grandmother is my greatest accomplishment. I loved being a wife and mother but the second time around with small and then older children is the best . I have had a lot of heartache but I have had 32 (would now be 46) wonderful years with my husband . I had 15 years with the best and sweetest daughter anyone could have. I have 2 great sons and and their families and I have a lot of fabulous friends. I also have the LORD in my life, so what more could I really have.
Hugs, Grandma Billie
Hi Tom,
It makes me melt inside to know how much Bob, Feyma and the children love and respect me. I fell exactly the same about them Feyma has always been more like a daughter to me and we really enjoy each other .When we are raising our children, we always pray that we are doing a good job. It is heartwarming to see them as parents, and that just maybe we did O.K. after all. Thanks for writing and maybe we will get to chat again.
Hugs, Grandma Billie
Hi There America Lola, I’m thrilled that you wrote in.Isn’t it fun being a Lola? I enjoy my trips here and each time I seem to enjoy it more.I really enjoy the people here, the food, the beautiful scenery and on and on.I also would like to meet you. Meeting the people is one of the best parts about traveling
Love and Hugs Grandma Billie.
Hi Nick.
That was a sweet note but I must say, if I could be 1 tenth as good as Bob, I would jump with joy.Thanks for taking the time to write to me.
Hugs, G Billie
Hi Tina,
You should be proud that you are from Davao City, it is wonderful. The fruit here is better then any place that I have ever been. I’s so beautiful and I feel that my grandchildren are getting an excellent education. Bob is and Feyma are really happy, and doing so well. I look forward to meeting you , I will be here until October. By the way, I would be happy to adopt any one that wants me to
Take Care- Hugs, Grandma Billie
Jul, After reading your message again, my mouth is watering. We will have to hit the fruit stands again tomorrow and get all of the fruit that you mentioned and more.
Hugs,
Grandma Billie
Hi Angie,
Your note was so sweet. It sounds like you are a very caring person. I’m really enjoying blogging, it’s something new for me but fun. I can see that I have made a few mistakes tho. Isn’t it wonderful to have memories? Each time I have to leave after being here it is the memories and the telephone calls that get me by until the next visit.
Hi Macky, Thanks for taking the time to write. I admire your work and love the drawings that you did of Bob. Maybe some time you will be here when I come and I will get to meet you.
Hugs, Grandma Billie
Hello Grandma Billie, welcome to LiP. thank you for sharing your story (very touching)..Take care, enjoy your vacation ,esp the fruits and the pork liempo!
Zois, Don’t worry, everything that I put in the blog about being so sad, has been over with for a long time. I love Bob and Feyma with all my heart and I know that they should be here. Also I love visiting them and I wouldn’t have my sweet wonderful granddaughter Jean Jean. All I well.
Hugs, Grandma Billie
Hello Pete, I knew that my son was quite well known but I didn’t have a clue how well known he is and how helpful he has been, I am very very proud of him. I knew about his blog and other web sites but he really isn’t the type to brag or talk too much about his achievements. As for my problem at the airport, it is over and there were some very nice people there that helped me, so it turned out just fine. I will say that it was scary.
Take Care, Lola Billie
Hi John, I already adopted you. Bob had told me about you but you are even funnier then I thought. I felt that you, Harold, Bob, FeymaI and myself had a really nice visit. I’m anxious to see both you and Harold again, in fact a few more times before I leave.
Hugs, Mom, Billie
Tina, You are adopted.
Hugs, Mom Billie
Ian, Thanks for writing. It is nice to meet you also. This time, I’m not really rambling, I’m just make a thousand typing errors. Bob is a wonderful typist, but I’m afraid that I’m not. Oh well.
Hugs, Grandma Billie .
Hi Grandma Billie,
Thanks! I really can’t wait to meet you. Hopefully next year…
Hi Lea, I agree, your story is so much like mine. I am grateful also that my sweet, wonderful husband didn’t have to suffer. Isn’t it wonderful to have our memories? I hope that you have lots of people in your life to love and to love you back. My greatest joy in life is my grandchildren.
Hugs Grandma Billie
Hello David, Thanks for your nice note to me.I do like to share my story, because I have come a long way in my thinking.Look what I got for it , my son,Feyma and the children are happier then ever and we have our sweet Jean Jean.. Sometimes I think that all we have to do is open up our hearts and we will be rewarded. Now I have come to the Philippines for the 4th time and seen a lot of beautiful scenery and met some very wonderful people. Also, now I have learned to Blog and have met some really nice people on line, like yourself.
Take Care, Lola Billie
Hi Karen, I will blog again before I go home, and next time I won’t wait so long to answer. .
Hugs Lola Billie
Hi Frank, Thank you for writing. Did you know that we used to live in Johannesburg in 1966 and 1967? Our youngest son was born there in 1967. We enjoyed your beautiful country so very much.When my husband had a day off of work, we were in the car trying to see as much of your country as we cold. I cried my heart out when we left.
Take Care, Lola Billie
Hi Tina,Maybe we can meet when I come for Christmas in 2008.
Hugs, Grandma Billie
Hi Frank, Oops, I made a mistake. I read my blog to you this morning and I thought that I said that we lived near to Johannesburg not in Johannesburg . We lived in Germiston, and my husband was the mill manager for the paper mill ,Crown Carlton. Do you know if it is still there? My, youngest son Mick was born in Johannesburg. We dearly loved South Africa. Take Care, Grandma Billie
Hi Marygrace, I think that I missed writing to you.It was very sweet of you to write to me. I am having a nice time so far.We went out today and bought a lot of wonderful fruit. Bob wanted me to try durian and I’ve heard so much about it, that I thought that I might not like it, but I do. We bought durian 101 and we like it the best.
Hugs,Grandma Billie
thank you for sharing your story…