The life that one's thought!
I got a forwarded email from somebody. I Think it really was intended to be a joke email, but when I read about it, it has meaning. It is about the perceptions of the Filipinos towards Filipinos or families that lives abroad. That everybody that lives there is filthy rich and that you have a tree outside that bears a lot of $$$. It was written in Tagalog. A lot of it was really true. I translate some of it.
Here’s some sample:
- That when you live in the US, Canada, Europe and Australia that you have lots and lots of money.
- That you own a few credit cards you are cool and have money then.
- That if you own a nice house and a nice car then you are really rich.
- That when you are sending them a nice picture that you went for a vacation to Disneyland, or Disney World, or Six Flags or some other nice place it shows you can afford everything.
- That you can come to the Philippines to visit once or twice every 2 years.
- That you can help once in awhile to the other siblings when they are in need.
- That you could help send some nieces and nephews to school.
Some people just don’t realize that we have all of the stuff that we have because we work so hard. Yeah we have nice house and car, but we have a loan that we are paying every month. We can go for vacation because there is some stuff we have to cut down and try to save for the vacation that we are dreaming of. Yeah, we are earning dollars but we are also spending in dollars too. This is really the reality here. I know there are some that are well to do and not relying on their families abroad, but the majority are really waiting for the money that would be sent from abroad.
Having lived in the States for 10 years I really did experience some of those expectations from my distant relatives. They are the ones who asked something from me. I’ve never heard my Dad, Mom and siblings ask for money. They tried their very best to support their family here. Now we are sending some nieces and nephew to school. We have to let them work for us too instead of just handing them money. Bob and I were already burned by one of our nieces. We treated her like our daughter, but she just really slapped us back with dishonesty and vices. So now Bob and I decided that we don’t just give, we let them work a little before giving free stuff or money.
I do hope with the internet and TV now that people would get a glimpse of how the other people live their lives in the West. Its not the perfect image that they are thinking. Oh well, I might have thought the way these people think before I went to the States too. We just have to open our eyes I guess. It’s not too late. What do you think?
Hi CHAS – Yes this problem never ends here in the Philippines. Its been in the culture for a lot of years and its hard to get rid of. At least it open the eyes of others on how to deal with it seeing some of the comments here.
I really thank you all that made good comment and advice to others that has problems here.
Hi jean (pinay uk) – Thank you for the compliment. Yeah, their are some people that are in the good side and understand whats life in the west, but its really common thinking of the Pinoys that the west are abundant. Its typical. I think they believe on what they are seeing on TV. But I think the Filipino people really needs to be educated that not everything they sees on TV are true.
I think the people that went abroad should really set some ground rules and stick with it. I know in our culture we will help anyway we can, but it should stop and have limits sometimes. We should not let others use us. I heard this problems even before moving back here in the Philippines. I know a lot of ladies that works as OFW before. They really are the one thats hit by this families. I felt sorry for them, but they allowed the family to rule them. For some of them its really a close relatives of mine. I told them over and over to stop sending and stop being use but they won’t. Its hard seeing them now that they are struggling to survived. They used to be earning lots of money before, but now they don’t have anything.
Oh well, I’m just hoping that some of us will learn from the advice of others here. Lots of them really give good advice.
Good luck to you Jean. I’m glad your happy in the UK. Take care!
Feyma:
We have put a stop to financial support for the entire family. We are down to one relative that is employed by one of our businesses. The rest of them do not receive anything (My wife cut them off). Other then that we are looking for land on another island so we have a place to stay when we feel like being away…
In Australia, I must admit we are doing very well. We have everything we want. Great variety of fresh food, great health system, great education, loads of entertainment, fresh air, fresh water, reliable power, fun cars, housing is plentiful and we get to live a long time. But it all costs a lot of money.
On the other hand, to have these benefits and high standards of living, it does not come cheap, we have to work long and hard.
As I have said before it is expensive to live in the Philippines, costs are not in line with wages, it is tough here and not much opportunity. So people are always on the take, just spend some time in Manila, that will prove my point.
The average Pinoy really doesn’t have a clue how the rest of the world lives because they do not travel enough or read enough or educated enough to know better. PS. Don’t blame them for that.
I spent a couple of years talking to Philippinas on the net and it primed me for my future visits to the country. The Philippino lives for today and is generally not a planner. Once I got to the Philippines it did not take me long to work out how the system worked and how people think.
I am an Aussie and tight with my money, but still generous when it is deserved.
Here’s some tips, especially for you KELVIN.
Rule N#1 Do not hand out money. Even to beggars, make them work for it. I tell them my Pinoy fiance is high maintenance.
Rule N#2 Do not offer financial assistence. When the question of money is raised, you ask them the question, how will they finance their project?
An uncle of my fiance needed money to finish building his house, i just told him he will need to sell a lot of pigs to finish his house. Simple.
Rule N#3 Do not trust the average phil blow with your credit card or bank accounts, you will be sorry, organise proffessional help with regular payments. Philippinos are very good spenders with other peoples money.
Rule N#4 Set some rules. Make it clear to the people around you that you are not a ATM. I tell everyone i am not a Banco.
Rule N#5 Reward the people who help you and compensate them for their effort and time. It pays big dividends in the end.
Rule N#6 Make sure your GF, Fiance, Wife gets a job. Or you may end up supporting her family LOL.
Rule N# 7 Gifts. Make it clear to the person when you buy them something, NOT to lend it to other people LOL
Rule N#8 Single mums. Support your own children that you have with your woman, tell her to find the father of the abandoned child so HE can support his own kid. Fat chance that will happen in 99.9% of cases, but worked for me.
Rule N#9 If you are still keen on ignoring rules 1-8. Then for heavens sake set a budget for yourself, or you will find that you will be holding out your hand like the beggars do and living like the badjow.
I am sure there are more rules, but it is the Philippines, its OKAY and thats what makes it such a beautiful country. Ingat ka palagi.
Hi CHAS and to everyone else!
I am a pinay working in the UAE and I agree with everything and everyone has said in here. Fortunately, when I was growing up. I didn’t have the same mindset as most of the Filipinos have about OFWs. I kind of figured it out already that because they work in abroad and earn dollars, they sure are spending in dollars and not in pesos! By the way, this year I have learned the value of really planning for the future and of course of money. You mentioned that you taught your wife how to save and how to grow her money. Can you give me some tips on saving money and earning interest on it? Thank you very much. I’d really appreciate it. Can you send me on my email? julee_ann83@yahoo.com
Take care!
Keep up the good work Feyma!
Hi Julz – Thanks for writing and the comment.
Take care and God bless!