A day of many firsts
Last Friday was a fun and interesting day for Feyma and I. We spent the day entertaining some guests who are in town, Kevin Smith, and his wife Bebing. Longtime readers of this site may remember Kevin, when we first converted to a multi-author platform, Kevin was a writer on this site. I had never met Kevin in person before, until recently. During the time he was writing on the site, he was living in the United States. Kevin and Bebing still live in the United States, but are currently visiting the Davao area. Kevin is a middle school science teacher, and teaching is something that he is very passionate about.
For Friday, Feyma, Kevin, Bebing and I decided to take a trip to Samal Island, just for a getaway. We wanted to show Kevin and Bebing where we would be building our house, and also just enjoy many different sites around the island. Anyway, this article is not about our visit, but particularly about one event that happened during our time on Samal.
We had stopped to explore the Samal White House, a nearly 100-year-old house, that is a landmark on the island. It is very near to our property, and a place that we really love spending time. While we were exploring the area there were some other people around, working on the house, doing some landscaping and such. We spent a lot of time talking with these people, just getting to know them a little. As we were leaving, a young girl started walking toward the area where we were. I thought she was maybe around 10 years old, but as it turns out she is 13. It was midday on Friday, so I asked her why she was not in school. She could not speak English, but I was able to converse with her in Bisaya. She told me that she’d quit school after fourth grade, so there was no school for her. After she said that, a conversation broke out amongst all of us and we were really urging her that she needed to go back to school. Her response was that there was no money available, so school was really an impossibility for her.
Bebing said that her mother, who lives in Digos, about an hour from Davao, was looking for a helper in the house, and in addition, her mother is a school teacher. So, an offer was made by Bebing to Mae that if she is willing to go to Digos and help around the house, she could go back to school. She was excited with the offer, but of course, at 13, she would need her mother’s permission to do something like that. Feyma, Bebing, and this girl (her name is Mae) headed off to talk to the parents. Their house was not far away, just walking distance. The mother was a little reluctant, Mae is the oldest child, and it would be hard to see her go. But, the father encouraged the move, wanting his daughter to be able to get an education. So, it was decided, Mae would go with us.
At the time when Mae joined us, and was ready to leave, it was quite touching. Her mother was in tears, and Mae’s eyes were welled up with tears as well. I’m sure it was very hard for May’s mother to see her go. Kevin and I were talking about this, and thinking to ourselves, how much different our culture is from theirs. I can’t imagine some stranger showing out and taking one of my kids with them, I wouldn’t even hear of that. Frankly, it would be unfathomable. But, Mae’s parents realized that it was really her only chance that she would get ahead in life, and they accepted that.
When Mae joined us and we left, we had quite a talk with her. We found out that this was the first time she’d ever been inside a car before. In fact, she’d never left Samal Island before, and had actually only been to a very small part of the island. Almost everything we did that day was the first time for Mae. It was fun witnessing her amazement at so many things. When we rode the ferry back from the island to the city, she was quite shocked, I don’t think she knew that there was such a thing as a boat that could carry a car. She was a little bit scared with all this, but overall more amazed than scared.
When we got home, Mae was shocked at the size of our house. That didn’t surprise us, because her house was only about 8′ x 8′, and they had a family of six people living there. When we got home, Mae also enjoyed probably the best meal she’d ever had before. After the meal, she even had ice cream, the first time she’d ever had that before too. Mae stayed overnight at our house, and on Saturday morning Kevin and Bebing took her to Digos to start her new life.
Before leaving, Mae asked us if it was okay if she came to visit us from time to time, and of course we said yes. Even though we only knew Mae for a short time, we’d grown attached to her and close to her, as if she was our kid too. I hope that she gets a good education, improves her life, and can even help her family improve their life as well.
Good luck Mae.
UPDATE: I got a text message from Kevin and Bebing yesterday afternoon. It seems that Kevin was contacted by Mae’s mother demanding the return of Mae, because her mother misses her. So, Kevin and Bebing will be bringing Mae back to Davao later this week, and returning her to Samal. It’s too bad, because this was an opportunity for Mae to end up living a better life. Unless things change in the next couple of days, it seems that this opportunity will be passed by.
Hi Joseph Avery – Thanks for your comment, and your offer of help. I appreciate your kindness.
Hi R L Graham – Thank you for your kind comment. I am not sure what I said in the comments in the past that would give the impression that I am not a person of faith, but that is not true. I am a person of faith, although I am not overly religious. Thank you, though, for your generosity and comment.
Hi Bob,Unfortunately i cannot offer any advice or comment as i have very little experience in such matters.However i cannot help wondering,maybe Mae does not want to go to school,regards Chas.
Hi chas – Anything is possible. The only thing I know for sure is that last Friday, Mae was VERY excited about being able to return to school. By Monday morning, she was refusing to go to school. I don’t know if she was not wanting to go to school, was afraid to go back, or just missed her mother.
Hi Cheryll Ann#40,I agree with you 100%.Sadly, the problem of large families is fed by the RC churches reluctance to approve birth control.In Italy there is a lobby group that have been lobbying the Vatican for years to bring the religion into the 21st century,citing the misery that large families impose on the poor.I read last week there is a similar lobby group in Phils that had a parade in Manila last week.They are trying to push the Phils Govnt to put pressure on the catholic church in Phils to encourage birth control.Will it ever happen,i don’t know.It also raises another question,if birth control was allowed by the church,would the poor be able to afford it.There may have to be a govt program of free birth control for the poor.However this is a huge problem in all RC dominated 3rd world countries,regards Chas.
Hi chas – The United States Government used to give free condoms to people in the Philippines. However, they stopped doing it a few years ago. I think part of the reason is that few people would use them, thus there was little demand.
I read this note a few hours ago and then I walked away from the computer to ponder the idea of it all. At first I thought as many do on here about what this girl had missed out on and what her mother may have done to end what could have become something great. I for one would like to think that this meeting of a little girl on an island was a great meeting by chance and a meeting that somehow will come to more then just that. How great it is, as some have said here, to have opened the eyes of a little girl who never saw a car ferry, who never had ice cream and who never saw the oppertunities of life itself. Maybe now the greatest thing that has happened here is the eye opening affect of a young lady, who from that day, realizes there is something beyound Samal Island and the little bit of this world she has known so far. I cannot think of a greater thing to take someone and though not change their life, but show them a step forward and into a world that exist outside of what they may know now. Think of it this way, Bob has said this is where he will build his new home at and now if nothing else he has already befriended many and also a little girl with no thoughts, no ideas and maybe no hope………but now she can talk of her hopes and dream of what will be and also know that someday soon a friend who once showed here the other side of the world will be living just down the road a bit.
Hi Tim Walker – What a well thought out and eloquently written comment. You have some real nice thoughts there, and things for all of us to consider!
I hope to see more posts and stories like this one from you Bob. I live an unusual life here in the States and I soon will be living a large portion of my time there in Davao City as well. I gave up alot of my youth to become who I am and what I do here. I can now only hope that I find people there, like Mae, who love to talk about what is and what could be. Some in the Philippines look at their lives as though they have never acheived what they wanted, I’d like to think they’ve lived a life that many of us here would gladly exchange our fortune for a little bit of simplicity and a whole lot of love………….thanks again for a great post!!
Hi Tim Walker – Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I hope that I can continue to make a post from time to time that holds special meaning. It’s not always easy to do that, but it is something that I strive for.
Bob, I apologize for the mischaracterization. Not sure where I drew that conclusion. I understand the distinction you make and hope that I did not offend you. Sorry!
Hi R L Graham – Don’t worry…. no offense!
We are back in Digos now from our trip to Samal and Davao. Bringing Mae to Digos did not work out as we had hoped. Mae’s mother called and wanted her to come back. Mae told us a few times that she wanted to do this and go back to school. Her mother originally said she wanted a better life for Mae and wanted her to go to school. Her father was sure this was the best thing for Mae. We took her shopping for school supplies and made sure she had plenty to eat while she was here, but she missed her mom and didn’t want to stay. I hope things work out for her and also hope she has another chance to get back to school.
Hi Kevin – It was a good plan to help Mae. Unfortunately, it didn’t go as expected or planned. I wish her the best.