Did I choose correctly?
Yesterday, I wrote about the big “controversy” that broke out on Compuserve. BrSpiritus made a comment saying that when he married here in the Philippines, the decision was controversial among his family and friends. When I read that, it reminded me of an incident that happened to me when I first came to the Philippines.
In 1990, I spent the first 7 month of the year writing letters to Feyma, we were Penpals. After 4 or 5 months, I had developed some deep feelings for Feyma, and I had a strong desire to spend the rest of my life with her. I didn’t tell too many people about this, because I wasn’t sure that things would work out. I told only 3 or 4 people, including some family members and one or two of my closest friends. All of the people that I told were supportive, and I was thankful for that.
I scheduled a trip to the Philippines, with the intention to meet Feyma, see how we felt about each other, and if things worked out as I expected, I hoped to make Feyma my wife. As the time for my trip came closer, I went over and had dinner at my best friend’s house one night. I was scheduled to leave for the Philippines in just a few days, so naturally our discussion focused on my coming trip. My best friend’s wife, Mary, opened up and started talking to me. She asked about Feyma, and I told her all I could about her. Mary told me that she had a friend that she wanted to introduce me to. She told me about what a wonderful girl this was, and how she and I would be just perfect for each other.
I explained to Mary that I really wasn’t interested in meeting her friend, because I already had deep feelings for Feyma, and I was so excited to meet Feyma, and how I hoped that everything would work out as I expected, and Feyma and I would be married. Mary would not relent, though, she kept talking up this friend, and encouraging me to meet her. No matter what I said, the talk never stopped.
After a while, Mary slipped and said something that I think she had been trying to hold back. “Well, my friend is married right now, but she is planning to get a divorce soon, and then you and her will be perfect for each other!” Oops! I already was not interested, but this just sealed the deal for me.
There was never any doubt, I was already hooked to Feyma, even though we had never met in person. We had written to each other, seen photos of each other, and talked on the phone, and I knew in my heart that Feyma was the right woman for me.
What do you think? Did I choose correctly? Was Feyma the right one, or should I have given Mary’s friend a try?
I have no question in my mind! Tomorrow, August 9 is our 18th Anniversary. Seems like it was just yesterday!
Hi ProudPinoy, Jr. – Don’t worry, I know I did the right thing.. the title of the article was just to capture attention.
Well, Mr. Bob!
You got us all on that one!
Congratulations!
Hi Steve Moore – Thank you very much! All the best to you as well.
All the best to you and Feyma on your anniversary and many years to come Bob. Some say nothing is perfect but your marriage is next to perfect for sure. Keep it this way Bob.
Hi Bob
Happy Anniversary
My wfie and I have a story similar to yours and this post has inspired me to tell our story on my blog but it is a long story and will take a day or so to write.
G’day Feyna and Bob
““““Happy Anniversary..
Wishing you guys the best for more to come..
remember the day when you feel this is it…He/She is the person I wanna grow old with..to share my life, mentally, physically, emotionally..and life that doesn’t stop growing together…I am happy for both of you..for i believe you both do…
Kamusata Bob,
Bob…looks like you hit the jackpot pal, and couldn’t ask for any better than Feyma. You have a loving wife who supports you in everything, and a great family to come from all of this…you sir are a lucky man.
I hope for the same for myself and Rose, I know also that she is the one for me, and we both have so much in common.and also both have deep feelings for each other..and I know we both will have a nice and happy life..either in Philippines or USA.
God Bless You both, and happy anniversary to you and Feyma
Take care and salamat ,
Danny
PS..having computer problems..so am not able to participate as much on blog as I would like to…
PS..I will be ordering your new book very soon and looking forward to learning from it….thanks Bob.
Danny
Bob, congratulations to you and Femya. Like you, I met my wife jojo through penpals and like you we are celebrating our 18th aniversary this year . We were maried in her home of Baybay Leyte in MArch 1990. Like you I also always considered the term”mail order bride” not only insulting but semantically silly. Fortunately my family and friends were very supportive of our marriage. Of course my family were just happy that at the age of 46 I was marrying anyone.
Richard Wilson
Hi Bob,
You’re welcome,i hope you enjoyed your day. I will be back in Davao on October 9th.I hope to meet up with you while i’m there.
Regards.
Dave.
Hi Bob,
Congrats to you and your asawa, May you have many, many more! As to you making the right decision, heck yeah you did! My marrying my wife (Corazon) was the best decision, I ever did! yeah it’s been difficult, but what true marriage isn’t?
Hi ted – Thank you. Well… I would agree that nothing is perfect… but I am pretty happy with Feyma.
Hi Dan Mihaliak – Thank you. I will look forward to reading your story!
Hi Jocelyn Green – Thank you very much. You are right in your assessment!
Hi Danny – Yep, I had a lucky day back on August 9, 1990! I can’t argue that one. Sorry to hear about your computer problem, I hope you can work it out soon.
Hi Richard Wilson – Our stories and experiences were very parallel. I’m glad that things have also worked out well for you and Jojo.
Hi David Pennell – Thank you, Dave. I’ll look forward to seeing you again.
Hi Adrian Mccartney – Many, many more asawas? ha ha… just kidding… I’m glad that you also made a good choice when you married Corazon!
happy anniversary Bob & Feyma God Bless
Hi Tommy – Thank you very much, my friend!
Congratulations….Bob and Feyma…wish you only the best and more years to come.
We have similar love story though
“Society is always taken by surprise at any new example of common sense….” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
The choice of a Filipino wife makes the best sense. 18 years and counting… Happy anniversary to you and Feyma!!!
First, a belated Happy Anniversary to you both!!
Now… lessee… on one hand a lovely American Bride who will spend your money faster than you can make it, work you into the grave so she has the insurance money to spend, or divorce you after running every credit card (all in YOUR name of course) and then take you to the cleaners, or a lovely Filipina bride who will work with you to build a happy life and family, will take care of you and love you till the end of time… Hmmmmmm….tough choice.
Hi Berlin Austin – Thank you very much. Congratulations to you on your relationship too!
Hi ecstasy – Thank you!
Hi Dan_NY – Not belated, your message came through during our Anniversary. Thank you so much, and I agree with your assessment!
Sorry I am late. Happy anniversary to both of you. Your story is pretty much similar to ours and by the 26 of august we have been married for 32 years.
If it has lasted this long obviously you made the right choice Bob. Happy anniversary!
Congratulationsto Feyma and You, Bob! May your lives with each other continue to be richly blessed. It is wonderful to read all the many congratulatory messages. You are continuing to build a rich heritage with each other and with your children. All the Best!!
Hi Preben – Wow! 32 years, that’s really a wonderful accomplishment. Thank you for your comment.
Hi Bob New York – Thank you very much! By the way, I enjoyed meeting Irma and Wayne yesterday, they are nice people!
Hi R L Graham – Thank you very much for your kind comment.
Hello Bob and Feyma,
Congratulations!
Phil
bob and feyma
happy anniversary and many more
chris and maria
Hi Phil – Thank you, we appreciate it very much.
Hi maria – Thanks so much to you and chris!
A great big kiss to you both
HAPPY ANNIVERSSARY
Hi john – Thank you very much my friend!
I hope I’m not too late to greet you guys BELATED HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
You are both perfect match to each other. God bless!
Hi Cidy – It’s never too late! Thank you very much.
Belated Happy Anniversary, Bob.
IMHO, I think you married THE ONE.
Hi Jayred – Thank you very much. I agree… I got the right one!
congrats .. keep up the good works …u guys look great ..
Hi phil R. – Thank you, Phil.