I have spent the last 3 years coming and going from the Philippines. I love the people and enjoy the country very much. There are many attractions, some beautiful countryside, mountains and beaches, especially if you know where to look. But best of all is the Filipino hospitality.A foreigner is made to feel so welcome in the Philippines and you definitely reap what you sow. If you are polite and friendly in your outlook and behaviour, then in my experience, you are treated in the same way, if not better by the locals. But over the last 3 years I can honestly say there have been some hilarious confusions that have occurred, mostly to do with communication and language.
I am from England and I speak with a very “British” accent. Many Filipinos stop and listen to my voice with a mixture of interest and amusement because although we do share some of the same language, mine is very definitely British whereas most Filipinos speak “American English” and my oh my is there a big difference!!! There is neither criticism or compliment in my observations here, I am just highlighting some of the easy confusions that can happen despite sharing a similar language. I am amused when so many people here listen to my voice and they say, “You sound like Harry Potter”. Obviously that young wizard is one of the most infamous British characters over here along with Mr Bean!! I am not sure which one of those I really want to be associated with!! But my point is, I believe I speak very clearly but even so, myself and my Filipino friends find ourselves at cross purposes because we have totally misunderstood each other. Nothing too serious I might add, but its funny how easily it can happen. I am in the process of learning the art of Filipino body language. This is fascinating and took a while to get the hang of. The raising of an eye brow, pouting of the lips, brief turn of the head etc can mean so much and we English miss it very easily. Where did this kind of communication come from? How did it evolve? Is there some kind of dictionary to go with it? I initially took non-verbal responses from my Filipino friends as lazy and almost rude, thinking, why cant you be bothered to speak to me when I have asked you a perfectly reasonable question? Don’t I deserve more than just a cursory nod of the head to my enquiry? And following directions when lost is hilarious. Upon asking someone in the street to show me directions to my destination I am usually rewarded with casually waved hand in a very general direction and told to head “that way” or “down there”. I am aware that anyone else would probably understand fully these things and I have no problem with it as such, its just that I am sometimes left lost and confused and not understanding what I was told. I have also learned about the response “No”. I find this word is seldomly used, if at all, especially with a foreigner. I am often left with uneaten food and full glasses of drink at my table because I have offered these items to my guests who have accepted without really wanting them. If I am asking somebody a favour, if they can do something for me, I will always be responded to with either a “yes” or an “I will see” or “later” or a shrug of the shoulders.
I have discovered that anything short of a resounding and enthusiastic “YES” will probably indicate that it cant be done, but my friend does not want to say that to me. That is very sweet and very polite and inoffensive but again it can cause confusion and difficulty for this foreigner who is used to forthright speech and very open upfront ways of behaviour. None of us are right, none of us are wrong, we are just different and it is these differences that makes us all so interesting to each other. I am learning, and I am doing my best to understand and not offend anyone. So far I have been quite successful in this quest. But of course, any tips on Filipino etiquette would be gratefully received by this confused but happy traveller. God Bless You All.
About John
Good points, John. Actually there are a lot of British English phrases in Filipino English .. it’s very noticeable wehn a Filipno goes to the US. Things like “stockist” for an authorized dealer of something, “overtaking” when we Americans say passing, etc. Can’t remeber the author now but there’s a fanous quotation that claims the Americans and the Brits are two great nations separated by a common language. I lived in England for some years myself and I certainly had my challeneges even with common tasks like riding a train. “Single or return”?
One thing all should be wary of is the relauctance to say no and the over-eagerness to agree, as you hav enoted. It’s more an Asian thing than just Filipino .. it’s even worse in Japan. You’ll go to ameeting, have everyone around the table shaking their heads up and down and saying, Hai!, Hai! to everything you ask … only to find later that what you thought was agreed to wasn’t being agreed to at all. No easy answer, you just have to be attuned to the situation and when possible see if you cna arrange the conversation so that the Filipno makes the suggestion of what is to be done in his/her own terms.
The concept of hiyah ..”face” is extremely important. Many Filipinos will not say no if it will make them “lose face” and will not say anything to you that will look like they are insulting you … and “no” is often considered impolite … so it’s best to always leave a”loophole” to allow someone to say no without uttering the word.
Interesting post John, yes I have experienced some of that never wanting to say “no”.
Maybe you could start a body language dictionary to help us all.
Can I make a respectful request please that you try and make your paragraphs smaller.. as we get older the eyes find it difficult to follow the lines in long paragraphs.
Enjoyed the post and I hope that you add to it again in the future.
Regads
Gerry
Thanks for the paragraph comment, to be honest I write it in word but when it goes onto the blog it all joins up!!
Anyone tell me what I am doing wrong?
Write in Word … if you chose too .. but save the output as a plain text file .. it’s an option on the “File” menu of Word.
A much better solution is to use Microsoft’s free Live Writer … it works _great_ with WordPress blogs and is infinetly better for the task, I feel.
Hi John!
I really laughed at your observations, re: pouting of lips. I used to do that to my husband when pointing at direction for him to pick-up something around the house. I got no result! Have you noticed that Filipinos don’t use North, South, East and West when giving directions, too ? We simply say ‘turn left or right or go straight’ with a mention of many landmarks. Ask us how far is point A from B, most likely the answer is “it’s about two hours by bus”. Time is easier to refer to than distance. The body language mode of communicating is maybe due to many dialects the Phils has. We have to find the easier and quicker way to be understood, thus the body language and gestures.
Hello John,
I know the articule you wrote sates back to July last year, I just discovered this website. So I am going through and reading all the articules of interest. As a visitor to the Philippines many times I am sure that I have had foot in mouth disease on many occassions. My biggest problem was being embarressed on correct way to say some of the names of people I met. Being a naturally shy sort of person I pulled back a bit. I found that if I used the out going way I sometimes use here in Australia it does not work in the Philippines, it pays just to tones things down a bit, smile a lot and to understanding. Another is to avoid using any slang, which I know both British and Australians are renown for.
Hello John,
John, I have a question for you – if the Filipinos do not use the word *no*, what happens when *you* use the word *no* to them? i.e. A Filipino asks you for something and you say *no*. Are they offended or?
One custom I found was rather interesting. Bob Martin mentioned that when you hire a van with driver for a day trip, you pay for meals for the driver. It is not written – just understood. On one trip when I was over there I hired a local van from Ilocos Sur to take my wife and I back to Manila. The driver asked if it was Ok to bring some of his family along. I replied *OK*. It was 8 seater van, and you guessed right, it was full, and we ended up paying for meals for the whole family!
Hi, John in Austtria, from rainy and cold Spain!
How right your observation is. I am a Pinay and I agree with what you said about “free lunch”. When I was working in Makati all those years ago, whoever said FIRST, “let’s go and have some lunch…” ends up footing the bill–for all!
I do not know if that still exists today in a place like Makati though. But, John, this is the 21st century. Pinoys have changed in many ways and I know that nowadays they wouldn’t allow that to happen, especially that “van thing and the whole family included in the bill. Regards, Hill
Hi John,
I truly understand some of your predicament. My problem is reverse. My British husband, who is a man of few words, also does a lot of “body language”. Believe me when I say that he doesn’t say “yes” or “no” to a question, a statement, or anything that requires a clearcut “yes” or “no”. He’s Pinoy in many ways and I am more British in many ways. Strange how things develop when you live with someone from another culture. My advice? If you fancy saying “bloody hell” then do it. They’d laugh with you, not at you. We know it’s a swearword but really, they’d find it rather funny since that swearword is never used there. Pinoys like a good, hearty laugh, just find the right opportunity and it would help pave the way to a better understanding of Pinoy culture. For them, there’s no south or north. It’s all the same to them. If they imitate you, then imitate them too.
Hi John,
When I first went to work out in the Middle East, it was my first encounter with Filipino’s, who formed the largest part of my workforce. It took me a long time to understand some of their gestures, particularly this use of the lips to point to things. When you ask where something is, a gentle pushing out of the lips in the direction of the desired item is apparently enough to indicate the general direction. Even some months later, I sent one of the guys to a local shop to buy a “Daily Mail” newspaper, the British paper that arrived in Saudi earliest, only to have him return with a pint of milk. It turned out that he hadn’t understood fully what I said, and had gone off wondering what it was that “boss” bought on a daily basis, and since he saw me most mornings with a pint of milk, assumed (hoped?) that pint of milk was what I wanted.
What I learned when dealing with all Asian workers, was not to ask them if they understood, because that would definitely produce a yes answer regardless of whether they did or not, but to get them to repeat back to me what they were going to do, when it would start, and when it would finish. It might seem a bit condescending, it certainly did to me and it worried me on that basis, but they appreciated it because it cleared up any confusion on both our parts. Also, usually in a group of workers, there will be one who is a naturally good communicator, and involving them delegating tsks is always a good idea. .
A quick note to Gerry which may help him and others…if you press CTRL and + at the same time, in most browsers, that increases the font size to make it easier to read. Ctrl and – takes it back down again.
different country , different cultures , different ideas …as long as you can get your idea thru and everybody has a good laugh , Remember that they are learning as well as you are ..Phil n Jess
John in Austria
When I say the word NO its normally with a passion and to be honest its understood, however it still can be ignored.
Hill Roberts
I try to avoid paying for every lunch so I now turn up even later then the other guests and it works a little!!
Maybe your husband has learnt that you are always right, which of course is true. lol
Jim Hannah
Jim I had similar experience where my friend took me on a four hour taxi ride to a place to get some special tickets. Needless to say it did not exist and he told me he was shocked that I went along with it as from his point of view he assumed that I knew he did not know!!!
Phil
Its great to have a British sense of humour and I do laugh at my stupidity and what I see and hear it almost keeps me sane, but is so entertaining.
Hi, John,
Here’s a practical tip when going out with (to have a drink or dining out) with your Pinoy friends.
1. When they ask you first to go out for a night-out or equivalent, ask them frankly,
“Is it KKB? (It means “kanya-kanyang bayad” – or, in plain English, Dutch Treat)
This acronym is widely used by Pinoys and it isn’t offensive to ask, or use this
acronym. Pinoys will give you a straight answer, no doubt about it. If they invite you wholeheartedly, then, John, GO for it!
Hi John,
Happy New Year! Where is the location of the 2nd picture (landscape one) in this article? In the Phils? Thank you.
Gerry
Hi to Jim Hannah, thanks for that shortcut tip! I immediately put it into use.
Hi John, you don’t want to be associated to Harry Potter? How about Prof Dumbledore?
Seriously, John, if you speak as clearly ( at least for the benefit of pinoys) as you did when you had your podcast (w/c I enjoyed as you know) then I can only imagine, maybe it’s not your British tongue that is the problem. But well, the level of english facility your audience have. Let’s just say probably, they still have to watch Merchant Ivory films. 
I still have to meet an english who would do that though. Too much Merchant Ivory films, I guess.
John, I appreciate your earnest efforts to acculturate. From your entries alone, I can imagine you’re not the type that would go around saying ” this tea is ghastly”.
Hi, Roy, are you trying to say that a Pinoy’s English vocabulary is rather limited?Well, well, well, how about that! When a cousin of mine cam to London over thirty years ago, his first complaint was he couldn’t understand the way Londoners speak. When I went to visit Cumbria—where William Wordsworth was born—I barely understood the northerners’ way of speaking English. Believe me, Roy, if you’ve been to the UK—which has a clearly varied/diverse accent, you, too, would be shocked and amazed at how limited their English vocabulary is! Many of my northern English friends didn’t even know the meaning of “shortlist”, or “chronological” or “immense”. You have no idea how my English seemed to have deteriorated over the decades after having been on regular contact with my English friends. When I started using so-called high-faluting language, they simply gave me a wan smile or a they just shook their heads. Believe me when I say that majority of the Brits do have a language problem—and that, Roy, is THE English Language. I could go on and on but it would take months or years to enlighten you of the British lack of knowledge of their own language. I know John Grant, you are the exception, but Roy needed to be told of real facts, too.
Hill
KKB may be the money saving device i need!!
Gerry
Yes it is but not sure from where the picture was given to me by a friend in Manila to use.
I will ask him and get back to you.
Roy
I had to do an impromptu speech a few days ago to 1000 people and after the speech the compare tried to speak in a British accent to the delight of the crowd.
But the point was I was understood…I think.
And I have let the side down as
Hill
I have lived all my life in the UK but the people from Scotland or Northern England speak with such a strong accent that I honestly do not understand them, but they understand me.
Hill
KKB may be the money saving device i need!!
Gerry
Yes it is but not sure from where the picture was given to me by a friend in Manila to use.
I will ask him and get back to you.
Roy
I had to do an impromptu speech a few days ago to 1000 people and after the speech the compare tried to speak in a British accent to the delight of the crowd.
But the point was I was understood…I think.
And I have let the side down as I drink coffee lol
Hill
I have lived all my life in the UK but the people from Scotland or Northern England speak with such a strong accent that I honestly do not understand them, but they understand me.
Hi, John, glad to hear from you so quickly! Indeed, with your clipped accent, who wouldn’t swoon at you? I mean, they (those people you have given a speech to may have been hearing but not exactly listening? John, Pinoys are fascinated with your clipped accent. Take it as a compliment.
As for KKB, yes, my friend, apply it, and do so quickly! Yehhheeey. Do not hesitate. Make it loud and clear…”K K B, ok?” it will save time, embarrassment and a hole in the pocket. Cheers!
Hi Hill, I did not mention anything about pinoy’s limited vocabulary. I have limited vocabulary myself. I, however, suggested that maybe the failure of communication lies not in John’s british accent ( w/c I imagine he tones down for the benefit of pinoy ears) but more of a reflection of the level of english his select audience has. As I pointed out, I thought he spoke very clearly in his podcast. If he spoke that way to pinoys he encounters there, then I expect average pinoys would understand him.
As for the Brit’s alleged “limited English vocabulary”, I don’t know about this. As you have guessed, I still yet to have the pleasure of visiting England so I could appraise them of their “limited English vocabulary”. How I will accomplish this–I have no idea. Maybe insist on using words like bus & elevator?
John, I’m sorry but I didn’t understand your rejoinder. Looks like you’re making a career out of your Britishness (is there such a word?).
You’ll be a hit there. Anything foreign, that is. So we’re not xenophobic really after all.
Hi, John, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!
Hi, Roy, a Happy New Year to you, too! Glad you clarified that one. Anyway, do look me up when you visit Spain someday. But if in the future you get to visit the UK, try going to Liverpool ( Scouse accent – very irritating, thick, inaudible accent), Newcastle (Geordie, same–irritating, thick, gutural accent), or Wales, they do have a peculiar Indian accent!. Then you’ll find out that in the UK, there are many regional accents, which, in the past, was totally unacceptable to BBC, but not anymore since a decade ago since there were many complaints about standard accent that BBC used to require: RP, or Received Pronunciation. John G’s clipped/posh accent is common in the south of England, particularly those from Surrey, Kent, Richmond, even Chelsea. As for my own accent, having lived in Europe for three decades, when I speak Spanish to Spanish people, I speak with a Spanish accent. When I’m with the Brits, I speak with a similar accent to John G’s. This way, I get my message across better, audibly speaking, that is.
It should read: “…many regional accents, which, in the past, WERE totally….”
Hi John,HAPPY NEW YEAR,Chas.
Hill/Roy/Chas
All the very best for 2009
Wow, I think I’m screwed. I really want to go spend some time in the Philippines, but it never occured to me that my own accent might create some issues.
I’m from south of Pittsburgh, PA, USA, and Pittsburghese is one of the thickest accents around. For example: English – “Are you planning on going to the food court?”
Pittsburghese – “Yunz gonna go dan da foo kert?”
I hope my slang doesn’t cause too much insanity. Oh well, if nothing else, maybe it will just be the source of a great deal of amusement for my new Pinoy hosts and friends
P.S. – It’s Super Bowl time, baby! Go Stillers!!!