Off to Manila

This week I have left my home in the Mindanao Island of Davao and made my way back to the Philippine capital of Manila, which I have visited many, many times before. But this time it’s a special trip.

This trip is to mark a very special anniversary of meeting recent LIP writer Migs Bassig from Quezon City.

The anniversary? Well, as readers know from my description above, I am a gay guy now living in the Philippines, and through a set of circumstances and chance I met up with Migs in Manila a year ago and we hit it off straight away. Now he spends his time traveling between Davao and Manila in an attempt to keep going his freelance jobs as well as his relationship with this strange white guy called John.

Fair to say that although I am open about my situation , but it was not possible for Migs to be able to be open because of his circumstances, which have now changed and he feels he can now be honest with everyone.

So to those who guessed, well done. To those who may have been misled apologies, but “coming out” to a vast audience before friends are told would have been wrong.

So we landed in the brand new Terminal 3 in Manila and got a taxi to Quezon City, where I had never been before (as I usually stay in Ermita or near Makati), and we made our way to a medium-budget-style hotel which was surprisingly good. In fact it had free WiFi, great atmosphere, and a good bar-cum-restaurant. Only problem was when it came to the bed, for it was a let down, feeling like wood. Lucky for me, the one pillow supplied us felt like charcoal, so the two complemented each other.

Still feeling the man flu, I dosed myself up with medicine to be taken out for a meal at a surprise venue.

I ended up at a really impressive Mediterranean restaurant called Katre in Quezon City, which produced superb quality food at very reasonable prices; it also had a romantic ambience you would expect to get in France or UK. The owner-chef Roxs Cailao should take a bow for such quality. And Migs and myself were the last people out of the restaurant and we were very contented indeed.

The next day I went to the shopping mall called Trinoma/ LANDMARK again in Quezon City, which I think is probably one of the best all-around malls I have ever been in. It’s on three levels, but covers a mass of area with cinemas and restaurants and waterfalls throughout. I urge you to walk around it.

In the evening we walked past the PINOY BIG BROTHER house, where ABS-CBN makes the live reality TV show. I had to have my picture taken. Tourist or what?

After a long walk we heard a song from a bar being sung by such a nice voice that we decided to have “one for the road”. We met the co-owner/ coordinator of the 229 bar, singer Ariel Herrera, who has a voice of velvet, and who entertained us to records by such artists as Cat Stevens and The Eagles with such professionalism that I felt guilty for only buying beers, entertained to such high standard.

Migs joined Ariel on stage for “Desperado” – a treat to all. After the impromptu jam session Ariel joined us in a long conversation. But we had to soon make our exit because of an early morning start the next day. We promised to be back and walked through the streets of Quezon City with I discovered had many, many great places to visit but at prices that are more acceptable than that at Malate or perhaps Makati.

So far Migs and myself have had such a great time, and tomorrow we are off to LA UNION. I am dreading the six and a half hour bus ride.

I Was a Bote Boy — And I'd Do It Again

What the heck is a “bote boy”?  Well only those who haven’t lived in the Philippines will be asking that question.  From the very north of the country up around Batanes and Loag to way down in the southland where this online magazine is based the tradition of the “bote boy” is common.  “Bote” (bot-ay) is a Spanish word for bottle and every day of the week you’ll hear their call as they go up and down the street crying out “Bote” or sometimes “Bakal,” the Tagalog word for iron or metal in general.

Trash has value, the country is poor and I really marvel at how much less actual trash my wife and I throw away here compared to our life of excess in the US.  Every old newspaper, tin can, glass bottle, plastic bottle, scrap of wire, rusty nail; or “busted” household gadget is “wanted” here in the Philippines.  Usually we just give stuff to these guys, although they are actually small businessmen and are prepared to pay something for what they collect, especially in large quantities.  I gave one guy about 20 pounds of newspaper one day, handed it to him and walked away.  I looked back and he had his battered change purse in this hand, looking at me in disbelief because I wasn’t going to collect the few centavos this little treasure trove was worth to him. Read more

Things are not as easy as they seem

You know, sometimes in your life there are things that seem that they would be quite easy.  Sometimes those things are easy, other times that are not so easy, regardless of how the look.  Today, I want to write about hiring house help, or in other words maids.  Having a maid is one thing that a lot of people tell me draws them to the Philippines (usually it is the wife who is excited for this, because us men tend to let the lady take care of the household chores anyway).  Sometimes, though, it seems that having a maid, or finding a maid to hire is so difficult that you would be better off without.

Over the years of living here, we have had many maids.  I don’t know, in 9 years of living here, we may have had around 20 maids now, maybe even more.  It is not as bad as it sounds, because sometimes we have had as many as 3 maids at a single time.  About a year ago, or so, we decided to not have a maid.  We had several nieces and nephews living with us anyway, and if everybody pitched in and helped, it was a small job on each person to take care of the house.  A few months ago, though, one of our nieces moved out, and we were at the point where we did kind of need a maid.

So, we have been looking for a maid for several months now, pretty much with no success.  A couple of weeks ago, Feyma’s sister contacted us and said that she had found a maid for us.  She recently graduated from High School, and needed work badly to help support the family.  So, Sally traveled to Davoa from GenSan with the new maid.  The girl’s name is Pat, and she is 17 years old.  When I met Pat last week, the first thing that I told Feyma is that she would not last.  “Why?” Feyma asked.  I told her that Pat was too young and too immature and she would be homesick within days.

Sure enough, in 3 days or so, Pat had started telling people in the house that she wanted to go home.  Soon, we heard that she wanted us to get her teeth fixed at the dentist, and even send her to college.  She said that if we did not send her to college, she would leave in a month.   Well, I told Feyma that we would not be sending her to the dentist for repair on her teeth, if she was planning to leave us after a month.  Feyma agreed totally with me.

I don’t mind getting stuff like dental work done for a maid if she will be with us for the long term.  That kind of service is cheap here anyway, but why should I spend anything on it for a stranger who is going to leave after 30 days anyway?  Answer is that I will not.

Today, Feyma sat down with Pat to have a talk.  Others in the house were present too, so that there were witnesses to the conversation.  Feyma talked seriously to Pat, and asked her if she wanted to go home, and Pat confirmed that she did.  She will be leaving tomorrow.

I did not participate in the conversation today, because I felt it was better handled by the lady of the house, and also introducing a foreigner (me) into the conversation could lead to difficulties.  So, I was not around when the conversation took place, and I feel that was for the best.  When the conversation was completed, Pat was not fired, she quit.  I had told Feyma to try to just get her to quit, because firing her could lead to issues that could come back to sting us.

So, Pat was here with us for a period of a week and a half.  Now, the work starts again – trying to find another maid.  It is not an easy job, either (finding the maid).

Greetings

Welcome to everyone that open themselves to try to learn Bisaya, Cebuano or Bisayan!

Leksyon I

Today let’s learn the greetings:

Maayong buntag.     Good morning.
Maayong udto.     Good noon time. (greet them from 11:30am to 1pm)
Maayong hapon.     Good afternoon.
Maayong gabii.     Good evening/night.

Note: Some people will shortened maayong to mayong.

Assignment: Please practice at least 5 people a day. The more you say the words, the more it becomes natural.

Listen to the audio of these phrases below.

A very special announcement

I have what I consider to be a very special announcement to share with you today.  We are welcoming a new writer to LiP today, and it is a person who is very special to me.  This person has had a big impact on my life, and I have been after her to join us as a writer on LiP for many months now.  Last month, she agreed to join us, but she needed to wait until now to get started.

It was just a few weeks ago when I was asking about what kinds of writers you would want to see on the site.  One of the most sought after types of writers was another female to join the writing team, and I am happy that this new author is indeed a lady.  Perhaps we will add more ladies in the future too, if we find the right person who wishes to join in.  I am certainly happy to add new authors of either sex, as long as they have the right experiences that will add to this site.

My criteria for a writer on this site is that they can be male or female, foreigner or Filipino, just about anything, but there is one key.  They must have had experience living in at least two countries, and must be living in the Philippines right now.  You see, if they have never lived outside the Philippines, they cannot understand fully what life is like for an expat here.  So, that is a very important qualifiction.

Have you ever heard the saying that “rules are made to be broken?”  How about that every rule has an exception?  Well, I laid out my rule in the previous paragraph, and with this new addition of another author on the site, I am breaking that rule already!  You see, our new writer has never lived outside the Philippines, yet she has a job that gives her a special understanding of foreigners and the things that they go through in living here, outside their own culture.

Our new writer, who is joining us today is Bebe Metillo.  Bebe has been my Bisaya teacher for about a year and a half now.  She has had a huge impact on my life here, and the enjoyment that I experience in my life.  I feel very indebted to Bebe for the impact that she has had on me and on my family.  Of course, all of Bebe’s students are foreigners, so she has insight into how foreigners cope here, and what problems they have.  I believe that she is a perfect fit for the site!

So, what will Bebe be writing about on LiP?  Well, it’s up to her.  I know, though, that she will be teaching some Bisaya for readers of the site.  I also will encourage her to teach some Tagalog as well, as I know there is some demand for that as well.  In addition, I hope that Bebe will tackle some cultural issues that we, as foreigners, want and need to understand.

I would just like to welcome Bebe to the site, and wish her all the best as she joins our community.  I am sure that she will be well received!

For safety's sake

Yesterday was the birthday of my nephew. He turns 6 years old.  He lives in the farm where I grew up.  This kid’s parents really live in GenSan, unfortunately he is sickly, so my other sister and her hubby got him and take care of him as their own. His parents will be moving to the farm in the near future.

Anyway, my oldest son Chris is vacationing right now in GenSan for a few days.  We will pick him up later this week. He really wanted to go to the farm to attend the birthday celebration and visit also his aunt, uncle and cousins there. Unfortunately he can’t go there right now. My sister and brother-in-law felt that its not safe for the my kids to go there. They said just to be safe don’t let the kids go there, or Bob. But we go to GenSan quite often. I really feel safe in GenSan and a lot of the areas there. Really we do go to the place just near our farm,  just not in the farm itself because its kind of secluded. I really wish that the Barangay Captain asked assistance from the municipal place in letting those military people stay in the hill just near our farm. I wished she asked the local resident just a few peso a month for military support. It was really safe then when they were there. Honestly nothing happened yet for the past 25 years, but just to be safe just be alert though right now.

When I was a kid our neighbor owned big land and a store in the farm. One night some armed man took the woman and brought her to a further area from us and the people that capture her demanded ransom. If I remember the husband paid for it. The kidnapper brought her back. They didn’t harm her physically, but it did harm her emotionally. She got sick after that and died few years later. I don’t think people really know who took the lady. Really after that incident people tried to be vigilant and alert, but still my family just don’t want anything happen to the kids and Bob. They just want us to be really careful.

Hopefully by summer things will get better there. The kids already have a big plan to spend their summer there. They want to help my family there in working the copra, cleaning the land, making the charcoal and harvesting some vegetables. Of course riding the Kariton (cart pulled by the carabao) and swimming in the river there. That was really the big thing for them. They also like to help feed the pigs and chickens. I don’t know though if they will eat the chicken if they saw when its butchered. They never saw one before. I know for sure they will not eat a roasted pig thats on top of the table and be ready to eat and not chop to pieces. They don’t want to see a whole roasted pig, I guess they felt sorry for the pig. Probably some of you think my kids have strange attitude towards the roasted pig thing. Well, that’s how they are and I love them to death. I can’t change their minds on that.

Well, I will update you guys if we will go there for the summer vacation. Two more months and it will be summer vacation here for the kids. The farm is one of the place we are going to go to this summer, hopefully anyway.

Things I miss from the States

OK, yesterday I wrote about things that I love in the Philippines.  Whenever I meet with foreigners who are visiting here, one thing they always ask me is what I miss from the States.  When I tell them how much I love living here, they almost always say, “Oh, come on, there must be some things you miss from the States?”

Well, indeed, there are things that I miss from back home, although I consider Davao as my home now.  But, honestly, these things are minor compared to the things that I love here.  Let’s have a look, again, in no particular order:

Family. Family was also one of the things that I love in the Philippines in yesterday’s article, how can that be?  Well, of course I miss my family back in the States too.  My Mom, while not at death’s door, is getting older, and I miss seeing her.  I have a Vonage IP phone, though, here in my house in Davao.  My phone has a US Phone Number from the same City where my Mom lives, so it is just a local call to talk to her.  I talk to my Mom just about every day, and it’s also nice for the kids to be able to talk with their grandmother any time that they want.  I also have a brother in the States, but for some reason, we are not that close.  I don’t know for sure why, but a few years after we moved to the Philippines he basically cut off comnunications with me.  I have been told that he is jealous because I have a good life here.  I am sad about that, and I wish that I could get him to communicate with me, but so far all of my efforts have failed.

Fruits. Yes, there are wonderful fruits here in the Philippines, but there are some fruits that you can’t get here.  I particularly miss berries of all kinds.  I can get strawberries here if I go up to the mountains in Bukidnon, but that is only so often.  I miss raspberries, blackberries and such, you just don’t find those here.  Another fruit that I miss is watermelon – while you can get watermelon here, it is not nearly as good as the watermelon in the States.  Many kinds of melon are not that good here – canteloupe and honeydew melon are two examples.  Overall, there are so many good fruits here though, that this is a minor concern, except once in a while when you really miss something.

Shopping. Some kinds of shopping are just not possible here.  For example, in the States there are the big stores like Costco, and also discount stores like Walmart.  These stores seem to have everything under the sun.  It is hard to find that kind of shopping experience here in the Philippines.  To be honest, if you find any kind of good quality goods, in most cases the prices are prohibiitve.  To be able to walk into a Costco and buy everything I need is sort of a dream these days.  I know that Feyma would enjoy that a lot too.

Fry’s Electronics. Not only Fry’s, but a big computer store like that.  Such places simply don’t exist here.  Where I lived in the States, we had a 100,000 square foot Fry’s Electronics within driving distance, and I loved it.  If you went there and browsed, they basically had stock of any computer or technology item that you had ever heard of.  Here, even getting simple tech items can be hard, and also very expensive.  Up until about 2 years ago, we were paying more than $6 for a blank DVD disk!  At the same time, they were 10 cents in the States.  If you look in a computer magazine and see ads for the latest items, it will be 2 or 3 years before we see those items here, if they make it here at all.  This is something that I really miss badly.

Being a regular guy. It is nice being treated as “special” by people just because you are a foreigner.  But, it gets old too.  Sometimes I miss just being a regular guy.  I mean, if you go out to the mall here, you can’t escape the fact that you are different.  You are bigger.  You have a different color of hair.  You have a different skin color.  You even think differently.  Most of this, you cannot hide no matter how hard you try.  I don’t have a big hangup on any of these things, but from time to time you just miss being able to blend into the crowd and be somewhat anonymous.  You simply cannot ever do that here.

Stuff that works. In the States, and most Western countries, stuff works.  If you get a 5 Mbps Internet Connection, they deliver 5 Mbps.  Here, it doesn’t work that way.  You order a 5 Mbps connection, and the real speed is 300Kbps.  This is just how life is, things don’t work as you would expect them to.  Technology is behind.  Things are not smooth all the time.  You have to get used to that, and it is something I miss from the States.

Driving. Yes, I love driving in the Philippines, but I also must say that driving here is a high stress thing.  You must constantly be on the lookout and aware of what is happening around you.  If you don’t pay attention, you could be killed.  In the States, driving is much more controlled, smoother, and generally a more relaxed thing.  Sometimes I miss that.

Specialty TV Shows. In the States, if you have Cable TV, or Satellite, you might have 300 to 500 Channels to choose from!  Here, if you have the most premium cable available, or the highest channel package on the satellite, you might get 50 channels.  Ten of the 50 are religious channels too!  Other than that, you get the same old blah channels that basically have nothing worth watching.   In the States, with so many channels, there are channels totally dedicated to real niche topics.  Like TechTV, a tv channel completely about computers!  There is virtually no variety on TV here, and I miss that.

Magazines. I have never been a huge book reader, particularly fiction.  I do read non-fiction to learn more.  But, I have always been a huge consumer of magazines.  I like to keep up on current events, and I devour such magazines.  In addition to current event magazines, I enjoy computer and technology magazines. These kinds of magazines can be very hard to find here, and when you do find them, they are often very old and out of date.  I miss this from the States.  Of course, you can read much of this online, which is a savior for me, yet there is still something nice about having a magazine in your hands instead of reading it on the computer screen.

Bookstores. There is a real void of bookstores in much of the Philippines.  There are more and more bookstores popping up in Manila, but if you live outside Manila about the only choice you have is National Bookstore, which I find pretty inadequate.  And, if you are in a smaller town, even National Bookstore cannot be found.

Honestly, this is about all I can think of that I miss from the States.  I enjoy my life here, and am pretty happy with everything here.  Of course, there will always be a few things you will miss if you move away from your one time home, but I find this list to be pretty minimal!

Family Ties in the Philippines

I am a German national married to a Filipina (more then 25 years ago. My wife carries a German passport, but in many things she still feels as a Filipina. Nothing wrong with this. I like it. That’s why we also enjoy living in the Philippines.

One thing, which let us decided to stay here for good long time before reaching the pension age, are the family ties in the Philippines.

Yes, hold on, hold on! I hear already a lot of objections. But please allow me to go on.

I would say, there are also disadvantages, but the advantages far outweigh them. Up to now, I feel very comfortable living together with more than 20 in-laws of my wife. Of course, we are living in different houses but in one compound. This is the thing: I am sure no expat can survive with 30, 40 or even more relatives living in one house. Like for me, I need my privacy and “a certain silence” while I am working at home. My main office is at home. Close family ties? Sure, why not… . While I am doing this write up, I can watch some of them taking care the kids, doing the laundry or gardening. We don’t like to hire any helpers, because we are really blessed with wonderful relatives, who love to help and do such things. I would explain like this: Such relative ties are really able to help each other on physical, spiritual and financial needs.

Some of my friends are mentioning a certain dependency that makes them unproductive. I wouldn’t say it. My wife and I get time to do our businesses, which, on the other hand become also a certain fortune for the rest of the family.

I visited more then 60 countries worldwide. Many times, while talking with and to Filipinos, I heard their proud explanation, that close family ties are a threat that this not found in any other country. True or false? Maybe I am not able to say “yes” or “no”, because I haven’t live long enough in all the other countries, I have visited during the last 40 years. One thing I can really say: “family ties among Filipinos are really unique and awesome.

Among our nieces and nephews are some still staying beyond legally adult age together with us, because they don’t like to get married. They really contribute to the upkeep of the other relatives. So, these “adults” are no more dependents of their parents. And, these nieces and nephews are still “enjoying” the wisdom and talents from the elders.

Family ties in the Philippines have given me hope in dark times. Relatives became very best friends. I found here support, respect, harmony and love, which give me power to do more tasks then even before.

Close family ties are also the success in business and society.

I am pretty sure, that some of you, my dear readers will not agree with me. There might come up also some complaints and critics, that I am just talking about my own family and experiences. Sure. No problem with me. I only can publish here, what I am experiencing more then ten years while living as an expat in the Philippines. I met a lot of expats, who got very different experiences. Maybe some of them are willing to share their “story” with us… .

One thing is very sure for me: Closeness to one’s family is a major factor for a successful life in the Philippines.

Do you know the saying: If you marry a Filipina/Filipino, you marry her/his whole family? For many expats a certain question rises: Boone or bane?

My advice: Try to find a middle path – and it works!

Things I love about the Philippines

A while back, John Miele wrote an article about the top 100 things he liked about the Philippines.  It is something that has been on my mind ever since, because I really enjoyed the article and found it informative.  I really enjoy reading a very positive account like that, and find it inspiring.

Since the subject has been on my mind, I wanted to write a list of things that I love about the Philippines.  Unlike John’s list, this is in no particular order, because I love many of these things quite equally, and would find it hard to rank them.  Some of the things that I love are the same, or similar to the things that John likes, but some are quite different.  Let’s have a look, remember, in no particular order. Read more

A Job in the Philippines

Today’s guest column is from LiP Reader, Henry Lamkin.  Henry is a School District Superintendent in snowy Wisconsin.  He spends time dreaming about the warm weather in the Philippines, understandably.  Thank you for submitting this article, Henry.

Many is the foreigner that has dreamed of retiring in the Philippines but wanted for the income to do it. The question oft arises can I find employment in paradise to supplement my meager income to sustain me. The sages that have preceded us caution that wages and opportunities exist not for the local Filipino much less the rich Kano’s who neither worked nor toiled in his homeland.

After careful consideration and analysis of my transferable skill set I have arrived at two possible choices for post retirement employment here in the Philippines.  I informed my asawa that I will either be a tricycle driver or a fisherman. She suggested that since I am 6′ 5″ tall and weight 280 pounds there would be little room left in the tricycle for paying passengers. So I am left with my alternate choice of being a fisherman.

Perhaps you have doubt as my qualifications or the rationality of my choice. Maybe you question the clarity of my understanding as to the actual logistic of bringing home fish to the dinner table. Let me rewind and explain that we have a home on the China Sea in Ilocos Sur. I have four brother-in-laws that are all fisherman.

I have been an active diver for over 25 years and have over 400 logged dives to my credit. Having said that I must qualify my expertise by declaring that I had not been fishing since I was 12 years old with a bamboo pole in Wisconsin.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Four years ago I purchased a pole spear on the Internet and brought it with me so I could fish along side my brother-in-laws. The sad fact was I have no idea how to use one and provided much amusement for the locals as I slowly, using trial and error, honed my skills to the point where I actually caught a few small fish the were edible.

The next year I returned with a Riffe spear gun that increased my kill zone from 24 inches to about 8 feet. Each day I returned from the gagac my sister-in-laws would be waiting on shore with a plate to hold and examine my catch. I soon raised my status from novelty to provider. I must admit I felt a certain pride in presenting my catch, which embodied skill and self esteem to me, it literately meant lunch was more than just rice to my family.

This year we return in Feb, and I have a new Wong 55 hybrid carbon fiber spear gun that will shoot approximately eighteen to twenty feet. I have high expectations of reaching out to larger fish and becoming a local legend. Should my prowess assert itself then I will have in fact defined my job for retirement.

I share my catch with neighbors and relatives alike. I usually bring in twenty to thirty pieces a trip. I get up at 5:30am and fish to about 11:00am. The locals mainly use nets of course but there are a few homemade spear guns, fisherman use once nets are in place.  I am free diving without tanks. The nearest filling station if five hours
away.

If you come my way put in your order and I’ll try to catch it.