Green fingers for survival

A gentle and quiet people

Filipinos are a very gentle people.  They are very quiet and demure.  They speak very softly, sometimes so softly that sometimes it is difficult to hear what they say.  Of course, you already know these things, because we hear it all the time.

STOP!  Wait, is it true?

If Filipinos are so gentle and quiet, then why do we also hear complaints from our fellow foreigners (myself included) about the noise problem here?  Oh, I know… you are saying that the noise is from the dogs, the roosters and the traffic.  Is it, though?

I did not plan on writing about this topic today, but a while ago I was in my office making some coffee.  I keep all my coffee supplies in the office and have a little “coffee station” there where I can brew up some wonderful coffee concoctions.  When I was standing there waiting for the brew to finish, a group of construction workers next door was taking a break.  They were sitting in a group of a half dozen or so, and talking.  These guys were probably 60 to 80 feet away from me, and I could hear the entire conversation!  And, I didn’t have to strain to hear it, or be quiet so I could “eavesdrop” on them.  No, even if i was loud in what I was doing, the conversation could not be avoided.  And, I was inside the house and in a different house from where they were!  They were downright loud!  They were not abnormally noisy either, not fighting or arguing, just having a normal conversation!

The same thing happened yesterday.  In the morning I went into my office and sat down at my desk to get to work.  In the mornings, I like to keep my office windows open to let the morning air permeate the office.  Yesterday morning, though, when I sat down, after only 5 minutes or so, I had to get up and close the windows, because all the conversation among the construction workers next door was just so loud, I couldn’t even concentrate!  Even with the windows closed, I could still “listen in” on what the guys next door were talking about!

Another example of this is in my own household.  A lot of times, if I am upstairs in the bedroom of my house, with the kitchen directly below me, I can listen to the entire conversation of my kids and other family members downstairs!  Sometimes, if I am watching TV, I even have to turn up the volume so that I can hear what is said on the TV show over the conversation downstairs!  And, I am not talking about hearing muffled noises from downstairs, I am talking about being able to understand everything that is said!

Why is it that we have an image in our heads that Filipinos are very quiet and gentle people, but in actuality they can be quite noisy?  As this thought came to me because of the “conversation” next door this morning, it kind of amazed me.  The truth is that Filipinos can be quite quiet in talking, sometimes very reserved.  I find this to be the case when they talk to me, as a foreigner or an ousider, not part of their “core group” – but when the group or barkada is all together, all inhibitions go out the window, voices move up to “loud” and the conversation is ON.

What do you think?  Have you noticed this too?

Ten Business Ideas I'm Thinking of Trying

A while ago, I responded to an inquiry on Bob’s Snowbird posting, where I mentioned that my travel schedule is starting to get very tiring. Quite frankly, I want to settle down a bit more. My response got me thinking about the term “Snowbird” and retirement. Ugh! Bob’s picture of the two old goats sitting there looked like one of those funeral home ads or adult diaper ads. Not for me!

Additionally, there are quite a number of inquiries about earning a living in the Philippines that are posted in the forum, so I thought about writing about some business ideas that I believe could generate a decent income. First off, I would highly recommend everyone read Bob’s book, “49 Ways to Make a Living in the Philippines”, as a first step, before jumping in with anything. This list isn’t intended to detract in any way from his book, but rather, it is a list of things that Rebecca and I have discussed to fund our retirement someday. I’m not the type of person who can sit still. Retirement for me will involve work. Otherwise, I’ll go stir crazy. That being said, I truly believe that if you want to make money in the Philippines, you have to do it yourself.

A brief note about what doesn’t work. Nearly every expat I’ve met has family that have approached them about starting Sari Sari, Jeepney, Taxi, or Tricy businesses. These almost never work over the long term, and usually fail in the short term. There are many reasons, but, particularly in the provinces, you will find great difficulty in running such enterprises as a true business. I suggest you avoid even thinking about getting involved.

We’ve already started the fish pond business, and I’ve put some money into it, but that business is for Becky’s family… I’m thinking of businesses for Rebecca and myself alone. Something completely separate. I still have a couple of years to put these plans into play. I’m tied to my current job and far too busy right now to get too involved. This is for the future. So, here’s my list.

Agricultural

I’ve thought about what is produced in the Philippines, and agricultural goods are a top product… Indeed, some of the finest fruits and vegetables in the world are produced here. Therefore, low-level food manufacturing has some potential. I am thinking with an eye towards quality.

1. Bottled Holy Water: The thought was to make a deal with the Church and produce a product, Spirit Water: Good for the body and soul!” Nice bottle, with a different holy card tied to each bottle around the neck, so that customers could collect them all (Print 250 different ones up). I made the proposition to Father Carlos (50/50 split), but he had reservations since it comes too close to selling indulgences. That being said, there is a monastery in the States doing something similar, so perhaps it is feasible elsewhere in the country.
2. Flavored Lambanog: There are a couple small brands already out there, but why not use lambanog as a base for other drinks? Using tropical fruits and herbs, becoming totally a native product. See if aging the product in oak changes its’ character (or Bamboo barrels). Sell in the resorts and tourist areas.
3. Flavored beer: Mango beer. Pineapple beer. Similar to the Lambic made in Belgium (From Cherries, Peaches, and Raspberries there). I’m going to buy a brewing kit and give it a try. If palatable, it could just work. Great label: Topless girl holding two strategically placed mangoes, pineapples, rambutans, etc., depending on the flavor. Different label girl each month.
4. Philippine “Origin” Chocolates: Quality stuff for export. Use local fruits and local cacao. Premium price.
5. Mozzarella di Buffala: Carabao milk is virtually identical to the buffalo milk in Italy. My only reservation is if there are enough local buyers in Manila, given the short shelf life and difficulty keeping refrigerated. Perhaps aging the cheese or smoking it into a Filipino Provolone?
6. “Japanese Quality” dried fish: The last few trips to Japan, I brought back dried fish for Becky and her family. They absolutely LOVED them! Same species as is found here. This is purely a quality and packaging issue. Each fish is inspected and the packages are cryovac sealed, ensuring freshness. There are also many different flavors available (Teriyaki, Chili, Sesame, etc.). I believe that a significant market segment is in Manila that will pay the premium price for quality. These can also be exported.
7. Premium Ice Cream: There’s a few premium chains, but I’m thinking at the very local level. Tropical flavors that are unique to the Philippines (Durian, Mangosteen, etc.). We could even try it with Carabao milk (They did it with camel milk in the Middle East!).

Enough about food. Now, to building.

1. A dormitory for college students. We were thinking in Tuguegarao, near the nursing school. Most of the students come in each week and go home on weekends. 50 bed spaces, one daily meal included with all you can eat rice, no more than 150 pesos per night. We know someone doing this now. Security guards, so parents know the kids are safe. Sex segregated. Shop with school supplies and snacks in the lobby. Big screen TV in the common area with free DVD movie every night. We break even on the rent and make the profit from the store and concessions.

Online possibility

1. Business facilitation service. An online consulting “matchmaking”, helping companies to begin operations in the country. From arranging paperwork to getting staff. Online recruiting for workers. Staff attorneys, personnel officers, and marketing and PR managers.

Finally, general manufacturing.

1. Wire and Nail manufacturing: Most nails and barbed wire are imported from China. In the provinces, there are often shortages of these items. Once we purchase the equipment (relatively expensive, but it can be bought used abroad), we should be able to manufacture locally at a competitive price.

Anyway, the above is my list. You will note that I focus on manufacturing, rather than online. Bob covers online in far greater detail in his book. Which of the above happen remains to be seen, but the point of this article is mainly that there are business opportunities in the Philippines if you only take the time to look beyond the Sari Sari store setup. This country is very rich in natural and human resources. It is up to you to take advantage of these things. Most of the ideas I listed require some capital to start, but not enormous amounts of money. I’ve got a couple of more years in my present job before I put any of these ideas into action (Hey! I still have to finance the fish ponds and earn a living now!), but I feel it is prudent to look as far ahead as possible.

This week on LiP

Welcome to the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine for the week of June 28 through July 4, 2009.  This week promises more exciting and informative stories on LiP.  Remember all days and times listed below are Philippine time (not Filipino time, though!).  The first article listed is generally published between 5am and 6am.  The second article listed is generally published around 5pm.

Watch for these articles on LiP this week:

Sunday

• Bebe teaches more Bisaya, this week she looks at Locative Pronouns

Monday

• Bob is happy to see a new trend among LiP Readers
• John Miele looks at some possible ideas for Philippine Business

Tuesday

• Bob asks the question – “Are Filipinos really a gentle and quiet people?”
• John Grant looks at gardening for food and profit

Wednesday

• Have you ever take the Long Way Home?  Bob has!
• Carlin looks at a possible warning for those visiting the Philippines

Thursday

• Half way into 2009, Bob reviews events of the year
• Do you listen to what “they” say?  Paul’s gonna try it!

Friday

• Bob’s topic for Friday is still to be determined
• Feyma’s hungry, so she has a look at Filipino Snacks!

Saturday

• Dave looks at what Lolo Jim taught him about moving to the Philippines!

So, that’s this week on LiP!  Should be a good one, so don’t miss out a single day!

Something that's good to see!

Something has been happening in recent months.  Something kind of unexpected, for me at least.  It is certainly something good in my view, though.

So, what’s been happening?

A number of people who read this site have actually been moving here to actually Live in the Philippines!  It’s kind of rewarding to me to see this happen too.  While I don’t think, nor will I claim that I am responsible for them moving here, but I would like to think that I played a small role in helping them make the decision.

Too many people think that they just can’t do it.  They dream about it.  Everyday they think about it.  They read about it here and on other sites about the Philippines.  But, in the back of their minds, most people are silently thinking that it’s a wish, but very difficult to do.  It’s too scary for some to do.  It’s like venturing out into an unknown world.

Why are people scared?  Well, maybe one of the big reasons is because it’s not a normal thing to do.  What percentage of people leave their country of birth and move overseas to another country?  Well, I don’t know the answer to that question, and it’s more of a rhetorical question anyway.  But, what I do know is that the number of people who do it is a very small number.  When you make the choice to move abroad, you get all kinds of strange looks from people.  So many people think that you have absolutely gone insane.  “What is he thinking,” they seem to say.

As I say, when you move abroad, people think that it’s crazy.  They think that if you move from the USA to France or Britain.  When they hear you say you are going to move to the Philippines they think that you are a certifiable nut job.  I mean, it’s a poor country, the third world, corruption, crime, terrorism… these are the thoughts that they have, and many people even voice this to you!  I know, I’ve been there myself!

Over the past few months several regular readers have moved here to the Philippines.  Also, I am aware of several other readers who are in the stages of packing and preparing for the move as I type this.  Still others have told me that they plan to make the move later this year.  I am seeing increased momentum in people actually making the move instead of just thinking or dreaming about doing it.

Over the years of writing this site, there have been a number of times that Feyma and I have talked on this subject.  The conversation has gone something like this:

Bob:  You know, there are a lot of readers on that LiP site.

Feyma:  Yeah, I know.  A lot of them seem interested to move to the Philippines too!

Bob:  Yeah, they are interested, but the vast majority will never make the move.

Feyma:  Very true, probably just a couple of readers will actually do it.

Well, it’s true that only a small percentage will actually move to the Philippines.  But, to be honest, I am pleasantly surprised at the numbers who are now going through with the dream.  It’s satifsying to me also to see it happen.

Now, on the other end of this “rainbow” is that I have known a couple of people who moved here and hated the place, stayed 6 months or a year and went back home to the USA.  Mostly, these people could not handle the Culture here, and instead of giving themselves a chance to adjust, they just left with a good degree of hatred in their hearts.  Hey, we all have our own freedom of choice, and some of us choose paths that are different than others.

Anyway, the thing is, it is just really satisfying for me to see some people making the move.  Making a move to a life that they feel will make them happier.  Chasing after their dreams.  These are all great things, and something that I am very happy to see!

How about you?  Will you be joining us soon?

See you in the Philippines!

photo credit: LFL16

Lesson 12 – Locative Pronouns

Today where are going to learn what to use for direction and location.

Locative Pronouns

Long form        short form        English

Dinhi                         diri                   here
Dinha                       diha            there (near the speaker)
Didto                           –            there (far from the speaker)

Note: You can use the locative pronouns in the beginning of the sentence, middle or at the end.

Examples:

1. Mopalit ko ug mangga didto.
I will buy the mango there.

2. Palihog anhi diri.
Please come here!

3. Mihatag ang mga maestra ug mga libro diha.
The teachers gave the books there.

4. Palihog basa sa imong libro didto.
Please read your book there.

5. Lingkod diri.
Sit here.

New Words:

anhi – to come (here)
anha – to go there (near)
bisita – to visit
uyab – girlfriend or boyfriend
kusina – kitchen
manok – chicken
uma – farm
bugas – uncooked rice

Another usage of sa – is a marker to show direction.

sa – means in, to, at, from, for   (but the word from is gikan and for is para. Sometimes they are understood  through context so you can just mark it with sa).

Examples:

1. Mobisita si Peter sa iyang uyab.
Peter will visit to his girlfriend.

2. Mibisita ang among pamilya sa ilang uma.
Our (excl) family visited their farm.

3. Luto ug manok sa kusina.
Cook chicken in the kitchen.

4. Mikuha sila sa ilang bugas sa tindahan.
They got their rice (uncooked) at the store.

5. Motan-aw ta ug sine sa SM.
We (incl) will watch a movie in SM.

You can also combine the locative pronouns and the sa marker to give more emphasis and very common in Visayas and Mindanao

Examples:

1. Mopalit ko ug mga pantalon didto sa Gaisano.
I will buy pants there (far) in Gaisano.

2. Anha diha sa balay ni Pedro.
Go there(near) to Pedro’s house.

3. Motan-aw ug sine ang akong mga anak diri sa NCCC Mall.
My children will watch a movie here in NCCC Mall.

4. Mihulam sila ug mga tsinelas diha sa ilang silingan.
They borrowed the slippers there (near) at their neighbor.

5. Kaon diri sa kusina.
Eat here in the kitchen.

Downtime Postponed

Just a quick announcement.  I had early announced that there would be some downtime for LiP starting later today.  At this point, I am postponing that, so LiP will be online for the entire weekend.

A couple of issues came up that I need to work out before the maintenance work on LiP.  So, that will be done later this coming week.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

Fire The Nanny Or Just Beat Her?

Seems like a lot of life happens right on my front porch.  Its a bit interesting how many stories I get while sitting on my porch.  In a land, a long long time ago, people used to sit on their front porch with their family, especially on Sunday afternoons, and watch life go by.  Many of you have been to that land, it was the 1950’s in the USA and of course somewhat into the 1960’s and there are a few hold outs like me.  The Front porch in the USA  leaves a lot to be desired these days.  I still remember sitting on the porch with my grandfather, this was a normal pattern way up into the late 1980’s.  Air conditioning probably had a lot to do with that pastime coming to an end.

How To Deal Your Nanny

Since, I’ve become a bit addicted to these wonderful Filipino hand made cigars, I’ve been headed out to the porch more often.  I could smoke them inside but I don’t want too.  They stink things up badly.  I’m going to write about those cigars soon, either here or on heyjoe.com  I’m not sure which.

I live in what used to be a family compound.  It is still known by that family name.  We don’t have a street address, we just use the family name, such as the “Yap Compound.”  Its not really Yap, I just don’t care to give GPS coordinates to my home.   Someone might mistake me for someone that has something to steal. HaHa

I rent the main house in the compound but there are six buildings in the compound.  They’ve been converted into rental units and one into a boarding house.  So we see a lot of what is going on in the other homes and I’m sure they keep up with me, its a pastime in small town. 

The other day I invited a friend over for a couple of beers and a smoke.  He’s headed to Subic to teach English to Filipino and Koreans and wanted to wish him well.  While we were out there, we got a bit of a surprise.

There’s a cute little 17 year old over there, yeah she’s cute and totally off limits so don’t even go there!  She is working as a yaya, the local term for a nanny.  She takes care of a five year old while mom is working at the local Gaisano.  The other day mom came home to find a bruise on her son’s cheek!

The language got a little loud with sounds like “he’s just a baby!”  That was followed with a flurry of fists!  Mom decided to exercise some fast Filipino style justice.  I didn’t see the yaya for a couple of days, I figured she was gone for good.  I think she’s a family member though and she turned back up.  She’s working for her aunt or ate (big sister) we think.  That probably made this form of justice safe.  Police here don’t like to get involved in family matters of this type.  Sometimes the Barangay captain will get involved, mostly though that’s when a kano is beating his wife or girlfriend.  Kano, stop doing that, her family will show up and “bash” you.  That’s the word many Filipino use for that circumstance.

On a side note, guys stop hitting your women!  No matter how insecure you are there’s no excuse for it.  I put women beaters and child abuses on the same level.  STOP DOING IT!

I wanted to share a bit of my Cebu Experience and some Philippine culture with you.  I’m sure the girl and the aunt are back on good terms for now.  She is 17 though, there will probably be more trouble.  I saw her running through the complex with paper on fire last night.  I guess she needed some fire so she borrowed some from a neighbor.  Just the kind of thing a 17 year old would think was a great idea.  I’m glad my house is concrete!

I hear there’s often a lot of drama in the average Philippine family.  I’ve only had limited contact with Jessie’s family but didn’t see much of that there.  I’ve seen a little though.  Do you have any stories to share or thoughts about this one.  Always love to hear from you, yes you too Roy.    And don’t forget to come visit me at Living In The Philippines.

Positive Or Negative, Where Do You Fit?

I was pleasantly surprised at the reaction to my recent article  Why You’re Reading About the Philippines. In particular I’m glad that no one took my examples of how repetitive and cyclical our always present world and national crises are … so many things today sound the same as when I listened to the radio at my mother’s knee in 1949 or 1950 or so … my mom would have been glued to CNN 24×7 if she were around today (except when a Mets game was on).  She was a bit of a news junkie I would have to say.

Frankly, although we get the International edition of CNN here in the Philippines, which is head an shoulders above the drivel you suffer through in the US-only version, it is still a pretty horrible thing to watch for more than 15 minutes or so.

It is often said, often in a humorous or even critical sense, that Filipinos are “drama queens”, and as much as I can be an objective observer, I would have to agree.  Even what seem like small, trivial events are often blown up to tremendous proportions in the Philippine media … only to die down and disappear without a trace in the next few days.  We in the US of course share this tread to some degree, but the overwhelming impression of an outsider is, drama is certainly a ‘queen’ here in the Philippines.

But if drama be a ’queen’, what or who might be the ‘king’?  For me, that’s one of the few ‘easy’ questions left in this world … it is negativity.  Watching the nightly news is often a little game to me as I watch the ‘talking bobble heads’ try to find a negative aspect to nearly every item they report.  A few nights ago I saw an interesting report on the first quarter 2009 ASEAN countries’ economic performance.  The Philippines was up in number one in a great many of the categories.  In a number of cases the Philippines blew Singapore out of the water (for reasons I don’t yet fathom, Filipinos seem in awe of Singapore … a swampy little mud flat about the size of Metro Manila, with virtually no resources, which depends heavily on imported Filipino talent in things technical or artistic and creative, to a degree I probably won’t understand if I live here another hundred years … that’s a story for another day).

My point is, the newscaster and the Philippine government official being interviewed prefaced every statement with ‘weasel words’ like, “of course trouble may yet come to us,” “you can’t really say that the Philippines is performing that well because the other country’s GDP is artificially depressed by the global crisis’, and a lot of other almost sickening apologia for being in the lead.

But the tendency for the Philippines to always think of themselves in last place is not my main point.  As an American I see plenty of this tendency today in my fellow Americans.  Instead of showing the world what we, as a country can do, and digging in and doing for ourselves what we really are capable of, we seem to have fallen into a sullen, passive aggressive mode of being sorry for ourselves, and like our Filipino brethren, giving up on today and pinning out hopes on some nebulous time in the future when things will come right again for us.

I had this driven home to me pretty solidly a day or so ago when I read the blog of a fellow I have been reading for some time.  He’s a former computer industry tech person who changed careers to follow his dream … he always wanted to be an airline pilot.  Quit his job, mortgaged his house to finance his training and is now in the ’big time’ … or semi-big time.  He’s a first officer flying small jets for a regional US airline … working long strange hours and struggling up the ladder in the face of continual threats of layoffs (‘furloughs’ in the airline industry), and making his way, in general, in the typical American Dream path so many of us are used to reading about … at least back in better time.

What set me off on today’s essay though was a blog entry he made about packing his suitcase where he used an illustration of his pilot’s flight bag complete with a prominent ‘bumper sticker’ advocating the defeat of President Obama in the next presidential election in 2012. (Photo by permission, Geek in the Cockpit)

Now don’t get me wrong .. and don’t sharpen up your political knives.  This blog isn’t about politics and I don’t want to discuss it (for those who just have to know I didn’t vote for either Obama or McCain and I have absolutely no interest here, in 2009 who might be on the ticket in 2012).

I did, though, fell saddened and a little sick to my stomach that this otherwise positive, hardworking and ‘with it’ person would figure it was worth his time, three plus years before the next election, to put his day-to-day efforts into carrying around ‘anti’ banners this far in advance.  It’s as if we, the US, his chosen and problematic airline industry, and the unsettled world, with many people wondering where they are going to live or where their next meal is coming from, would feel that anything ‘positive’ will be advanced by wasting time campaigning against someone who can’t even run for more than three years.  I mean what are we for?  Being against someone can’t change a thing.

Recently there was a large rally in Makati (Metro Manila) against what would amount to another term of the current president.  Never mind the fact that constitutionally she can’t run again, and has given no indication she wants to, is this the most effective use of time, talent and money to advance a progressive cause?  Nonsense.  Wouldn’t it make sense to find a candidate who would really do something  for the country and boost up support for him or her?  I mean who cares who else runs in an election as long as the best candidate (in your opinion) wins?

Folks, trust me on this.  It is infinitely more powerful and efficient to be for something rather than against something, no matter what country you live in,  Not only is this something I know intuitively and from experience, but interestingly enough, in today’s troubled economic time, it turns out that negativity is a major factor in destroying efficiency (and thus leads to lost jobs).

You might want to read this article  “Negativity: The Number One Productivity Problem“.  I’ll highlight just a couple of facts from the article:

Fact #1  It may not be healthy to be negative but it’s natural. Human beings think over 60,000 thoughts per day and 85% of those thoughts are negative. Think about the little voice in your head cursing traffic or saying things like, “I dread going to work,” or “I can’t stand my co-workers.”

Fact #2  What you focus on expands. Cognitive scientists and neuron-psychologists know that the brain actually changes as a result of where a person focuses his thinking. Negative habits create more negativity and positive thoughts create happier feelings which lead to health.

Fact #3  Feeling good is good for your health. The American Heart Association reports that feelings of appreciation increases circulation and smooth cardiovascular rhythms. Also, recalling an angry experience can negatively affect the immune system for as much as six hours?  …

Fact #4  Relationships are either a source of renewal or a source of drama. It’s a fact, the number one reason an employee leaves a company is due to poor relationships with his direct supervisors. It is a fact that over 90 percent of workplace problems are people related. The Gallup organization found that no single factor more clearly predicts the productivity of an employee than the relationship with his direct supervisor.  Drama in the workplace hampers productivity and the number one problem in most workplaces is negativity and stress.

If I had to characterize the comments and feelings of the vast majority of folks I deal with every day, foreigners or Filipinos, “Negativity” would have to be right up there at the top of the list.

Many foreigners who aren’t yet living in the Philippines have trouble holding a conversation without the “I hate my job” or “I can’t stand American women” feelings gushing out.

Those foreigners who live here continually bombard me with “The Filipinos are all after my money” or “The taxi drivers all cheat me” and similar thoughts.

Many Filipinos are no different.  I ask someone about a government project I have heard of and the stock answer is “Oh, that can never push through, it will all be eaten up in graft and corruption.” or “There are no opportunities for Filipinos unless they go overseas” and so on.

What do you think?  I mean, where do you focus your thoughts when you are thinking consciously?  I was particularly taken with Fact number 2, above.  Could it be that we really build and continually rebuild our own brains?  Is the ‘lucky guy’ just lucky, or is he just another sad sack who consciously worked on the problems in his life and recreated his own bran?

Something to think about, I think

The Dalaga

What is a Dalaga, you say?  Well, a Dalaga is a single woman.  Usually it is a young woman, maybe a teenager.  There are two things that make a female a Dalaga.  First, they have already had their first menstruation.  Second, they are single.  I suppose a woman who is older can also be a Dalaga assuming the meets the first two criteria.

Our daughter became a Dalaga this year.  She is only 12 years old (almost 13), but I can definitely see a big difference in her level of maturity since she became a Dalaga.  She is visibly more a woman now.  Before she was a girl.  The difference seems to have happened literally overnight, before my eyes.  It’s amazing to me.

In Philippine culture, becoming a Dalaga has serious implications.  A close friend of mine has two daughters who also underwent that change this year as well.  One of the girls is a bit younger than our daughter is.  She still seems like a child, a youngster.  However, when a youngster becomes a Dalaga her behavior must change.

I was kind of surprised when the mother of this other girl was talking to me about her daughter recently.  The mother told me that her daughter recently came home from school a bit late because, as the daughter said, she was “playing with her friends” after school.  The woman went on to tell me that since her daughter was now a Dalaga, she was not supposed to be playing anymore, she was now a young woman after all!  And, I believe that she is 11 years old, possibly 12.

Seeing the changes in my own daughter this year has really opened my eyes.  Having several friends who have daughters in the same stage of their lives gives me a broader perspective to see how my own daughter’s life is different now.  Philippine society expects a girl, once she has undergone the change that makes her a Dalaga, to act like a lady.  Even if her age is still very young, she cannot act like a child any longer.

Just tonight, I was watching our daughter.  She is taking on more of a womanly role in the house.  She helps a bit with the cooking, cleaning up, and everything else around the house.  Today, she helped with washing clothes too.  Our boys spent the afternoon at the swimming pool enjoying themselves.  Our daughter, though, chose to stay home and help around the house a bit.  In the States, I could not imagine a 12 year old girl being offered to go swimming, but choosing to stay home and wash clothes.  I find it kind of amazing, and a window on Philippine society.

For those reading this who don’t know, our daughter is adopted, by blood she is really our niece.  I only mention this because our kids are more American, but our daughter has never been to the States, and lives a more Filipino life.  It is in her blood after all, and I enjoy watching her and observing differences between her and our sons.  Some differences are because it is the difference between a male and a female.  Other differences, though, are cultural.  I am amazed by both.  Firstly, we never had a girl before, so watching our daughter grow up is eye opening to me.  It’s different from a young boy growing up.  The cultural differences are naturally of interest to me, because I consider myself a student of the culture here, trying to learn as much as I can.

By the way, just as a side note, boys, when they reach a similar age and are single are called Ulitawo in Bisaya, or in Tagalog it is called Binata.  So, we have two sons who would be considered as Ulitawo now, a 17 year old and a 12 year old.  Watching them mature is also an interesting experience, but from what I can tell at this time, the maturing of the boys does not have as many cultural aspects.

So, it’s interesting times in the Martin household these days.