Filipinos only want your money
Filipinos are only out for your money.
I hear it every day from a lot of foreigners. I hear it from people I meet with face to face. I hear it from people who e-mail me. I remember when I first got married to Feyma. So many people told me – “Oh, she only wants a green card.“ Imagine, if a lot of people told me that to my face, how many people were thinking it but just too embarrassed to speak up? Lots, I am sure.
Well, Feyma and I were married nearly 19 years ago, and we are still married. She got her green card, but she still stayed with me. She even became a US citizen and stuck by my side. Even when I convinced her to move back to the Philippines, she did so. Funny how that happened, but so many people told me that after she got a green card she would be out the door.
What about this, though, that people say Filipinos only want money? Do you believe it? I mean, when you go to the market, they sometimes add an extra P5 onto the price because of your white skin, they must be out to take your money. What about the “white man tax” that so many foreigners talk about.
Well, let me tell you about something that happened this week, and you can think about it, and decide if you think that Filipinos only want money from the foreigners.
This week, one of my sisters-in-law came to visit, and she brought along her young son, who is 4 years old. He is a cute kid, and really a polite and friendly little fellow. Of course, I know him, but I don’t see him very often. I enjoyed spending some time with him, though. I like kids, and it was fun to play with him, give him a few special treats that he would not get at home, etc.
There was one thing that reallly bothered me a lot about him, though. His teeth were absolutely rotten. I mean they were black with decay. His teeth were among the worst that I’ve ever seen, and it made me sick to even look at them. Not only was it a sickening site literally, but to think that this kid was family, and in this kind of condition was something that made me feel badly.
I say this not to embarrass anybody, but am simply stating a fact. I won’t name anybody involved, and none of the readers of this site would know who the kid or his parents are anyway.
The next morning after they had arrived, I had a talk with Feyma about the youngster. I told Feyma that I wanted the kid to be taken to the dentist. We have a regular dentist here in town that we use, and whom we also recommend to a lot of readers who visit here. Her name is Dr. Lourdes Lebosada. I consider Lourdes not only my dentist, but a good friend as well. She has always taken good care of me when I’ve used her for dentistry, but also has been friendly and helpful to me whenever I have encountered her.
I decided to come along with Feyma and her sister when we took the young man to the dentist. I wanted to see Lourdes, and to talk with her about what would be needed to get this kid’s teeth straightened out and make him healthier. To be honest, when I saw Lourdes examining this child, I felt bad that Lourdes even had to put her hands inside, or even near, this kid’s mouth. It is something I wouldn’t want to do. But, Lourdes did it, all the while with a smile on her face and a pleasant attitude too. I asked her what needed to be done to get this kid on the right path. She recommended that he have a fixed crown put across his front teeth after she did some work to clean the teeth up and stop any decay. I asked Lourdes, how much will this cost me?
I was not only surprised, but so grateful to Lourdes when she said to me that she would do it as a favor to me. I have done things for Lourdes in the past. Last year, I helped her set up a website, and put up some web advertising for her, and in exchange she got all of my dental work all caught up. Let me say here, I am not writing this as any kind of advertisement for Lourdes. I am genuinely writing this to show that Filipinos are not out to take money from foreigners.
Today, my nephew came home from the dentist with all of his teeth fixed up, a bright white smile on his face, and looking great! Even at just 4 years old, I believe he was very self conscience about his teeth before, because I never really saw him smile much. Today, he was all smiles. It made me feel really good to see that.
The final thing that we had to do, though, was to teach this kid about how to properly brush his teeth. I also told him that whenever I see him I am going to be checking his teeth, so he better make sure to take good care of them!
I was hesitant to write this article, because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was belittling my nephew or his mother. But, this is something that made me feel so good in so many ways, that I just felt I needed to write about it.
So, anyway, next time you hear about the “white man tax” or how every foreigner is overcharged, think about this. The dentist did this work for me for nothing, free, gratis. Do you think she was “out for my money?” No, she was not, and it’s important to remember that the vast majority of Filipinos are not out to rip you off. Yeah, there are a few who will try to take advantage of you. But, think about it… aren’t there people in your home country that take advantage of others? It is something that happens everywhere in the world, not just in the Philippines.
Thank you very much, Lourdes, if you read this. You are a kind lady, a good dentist, and a good friend. Your generosity will certainly be repaid some day in some way. I am very confident of that.
Thanks for the nice article Bob!.
Thank you, Ara!
I’m filipino chinese. I went abroad to work. But never expected to fall in love with my friend, who is american. We’ve been good friends and respect each other. Until he told me that he really like me more than a friend. Do you know that he respect my belief about “Married first before Sex” virginity is important to him too.
He became my boyfriend but he never touch me. Until, he ask me for a marriage. Yes! he married me first before I gave up my virginity to him. I was 23 years old and he was 24 years old. We got married in South Korea for only 10 dollar. And I do not a have ring yet when we got married because we are waiting for affordable ring on that time.
We’ve been married in three years but until now, we are still in love. He doesn’t have a lot of money. One time he can’t find a job because of bad economy in US but I did all my best to support everything. We are helping each other. I told him, if he is living in the cave or in the jungle I will still love him and live with him until I die old. He is not rich…but he is rich in love and friends! When he found a job, I supported him. I never complain every decision he made…I don’t nag.
We really enjoying our marriage and no matter what (better or worse) we are still together. We don’t have a kid yet because we want to wait and save money. Actually if someone called him foreigner…it really hurt my feelings because he is my husband. We are currently living in Northern Virginia.
Hi Cecile,
What a lovely story,good luck to both of you for the future.
regards Chas.
“We are currently living in Northern Virginia.” – Cecile
Ha? Saan ka nakatira? Alexandria, Arlington, Falls Church, Ashburn, Vienna, Chantilly? Northern Virginia is our second home. In fact, I’ll be going to the Manila Oriental on Leesburg Pike in Falls Church this coming weekend to have a taste of the Philippines on the sly, like lechon kawali atsaka adobong baboy, since pork is verboten at home. LOL
Well my thoughts on this matter are there are mostly good filipino women who only require that a man be responsible with money and take care of her basic needs. However, living in hk has opened my eyes to the dark side of the reality. Many filopino women are desperately poor and promised work in hk, later to find out they are forced into dept and have to pay it back by working in bars. Many work long hours as domestic helpers for an unfair wages. I hope conditions improve for them in their country soon.
I have no problem to marry a filipino and take care of her as long as she is faithful to me and really loves me. I dont think most filipino women expect as much money as american women which makes USA women the gold diggers.
Hi Jonathan – I would tend to agree with most of what you say too. One thing that I would just add is that in the Philippines, the woman generally controls the finances, so when it comes to being responsible with money, the woman tends to keep tight control, only dishing out a small amount at a time!
Filipinos are lovers of money. They can’t go a whole minute without thinking of money. A large percent of Filipinos can’t be trusted and are dangerous. Most are liars. Filipinas under 30 are only after money. Filipinas over 30 are desperate for marriage. All Filipinas under 25 have dozens of email addresses and false names on those emails.
I have been married to a good Filipina for three years. She is not greedy or dishonest, but she is a big pain in the rear when it comes to money. She is a good girl, but difficult to be married to. She falls in the 5% of the population who are good honest people. The other 95% of the population in the Philippines are bad people who cannot be trusted. She agrees with me.
Sickeningly racist…
Hi John,
You sound really bitter for some reason.
I have the exact opposite experience.
My better half is very astute with money,she will not buy anything she feels is overpriced,she pulls me up often for spending or paying to much,and very rarely asks me for money as she supports her self.
Lastly she is 26 yrs old.
regards Chas.
I should add this happens to my friends in Thailand as well and is more a mode of business rather than any evil conspiracy by the population, just incase I sounded negative.
Hi Daryl – I choose to make the point with one instance, but stuff like this happens to me often, very often, when dealing with Filipinos. A year or so ago I wrote an article about a taxi driver who gave me a discount because he didn’t have the proper change for the money that I had.
Skin tax? Long nose tax? No, Daryl, that is not my experience. Are there some who try to take advantage? Yes, of course there are. But, the majority do not, in my experience.
Hi mike – I agree that many Filipinos (certainly not all, though) have the impression that all Americans are wealthy. There are some who are going to try to rip you off, but certainly not all, not even a majority. My experience just is not the same as what you hear from people that you have to constantly keep your hand on your wallet, etc.
To Bob. It doesn’t need an accident to become blind. Filipinos here in United States are greedy, racists, money hungry, and dishonest. They abuse the system by opening Home Health agencies with USA loans,deny services to elderly and disable, to pocket the money, and become rich quickly. They do not hire people of other races, and ripoff Medicare as much as they can. And yes, they robe from the most vulnerable people the elderly and disable. I hope that Mr. Obama never again open doors to uncompationed, unskilled, unethical, uneducated Filipino nurses. We have a diverse group of people in this side of the ocean in need of work.
Hi Ben – It’s hard to say how the reputation came about. Yeah, there are some Filipinos who are out for money, just as some Americans are, some British, or whatever country you might choose to look at.
Hi sesaria – I fully agree.
Hi Daryl – I’m afraid that you do sound negative. Maybe you had some bad experiences that caused you to feel that way, which would be understandable. My experience is that if you show friendliness to Filipinos, it goes a long, long way.
Hi gerry – I’m sorry that you have had this experience with a lot of people. I’ve had the experience too, but only in a minority of transactions, and a small minority at that.
Hi David J – Yes, I find Filipinos very generous. I can’t count how many times a very poor person has gone out of their way to offer me some food or drinks if I visited their house, to the point that I am almost embarrassed to accept it, knowing how poor they are. Sure, I’ve been double charged, or overcharged on some occasions, but not usually. For instance, something like a tricycle, what are we talking, P10 or less? Well, I wouldn’t let that spoil my day, but some people will.
Hi Henry – That experience where you offered to reimberse the man for his expenses in bringing you home is so similar to many experiences I have had too. It is hard to believe that somebody who has so little would refuse a small and legitimate amount, but so many do. It is humbling.
Hi chasdv – I know what you mean about “getting real.” I mean, if you get overcharged on some bread and lose out on P10 or P20, it really should not ruin your day. And, after all, like you say, some people worldwide are out to rip others off. It certainly is not unique to the Philippines.
Hi Bob
Being a working class British Guy I also hear these types of murmurings about why filipinas want to be with ” shall we say westerners”( even though it is stereotypical ). they never ever say “wow! cool its good to see two people together,” It for me shows just how narrow minded and jealous some people truly are. I can explode this “only after your money or wanting a green card” image I have no money I am unemployed and I will be going to live in the philipines! So I wonder would those people say that I was only with my girlfriend for the money! or green card ?My response to any one who would ever say such things is quite simple I find that my interests and views on life are more in line with philipines life, that being simple, happy and pleasent. I dont doubt that there are some who are only in the relationship for money but thats not just a filipina thing
would we say the same about americans and brits who marry pop stars? it is also mystifying how many guys just up sticks and leave home to live in the phils knowing once the money is gone their woman is gonna say bye! My advice to these people who think like this, again is simple look a little more closely at your own life, something isnt quite right within it if you can look at someone elses life and know just exactly why a filipina is with a westerner. Another point they should also remember is that if it was purely a money thing, they wouldve become very rich from americans in the vietnam war, the brits should look at a few facts about gurhkas did they fight so passionately just for the money ? on the latter i can say my uncle was so disgusted in the fact ex gurhkas were left begging on the streets of nepal he battled the british goverment to give them pensions and as some may know they have only just been granted citizenship in the uk. It just shows how stupid the comment really is “there only after money”.
Hi Ron W – I’m glad that you enjoyed hearing about my experiences the other day at the dentist. Lourdes is a special lady who always goes out of her way to be helpful, and I treasure her as a good friend. Not only did she do the work for free, but there were some things that she had to spend her own money for (having the crown made, etc.) and didn’t even ask me to reimburse her for that. It really is awesome.
Yeah i guess i came across that way, I meant it,s part of the landscape in asia anyway and it doesn,t upset me at all. Perhaps it,s more prevalent in the more cutthroat world of Manila. I have never had a bad experience on the subject and when you use a few local words the situation usually changes, it comes down to attitude, remain friendly and they be friendly in return, and as a bonus for them they get my business again, even after they tried it on.
Hi Dave – You know, I think in the case of a lot of men, they are actually jealous that you had the guts to go abroad and get a good wife. So, from their jealousy, they make up negative things to put a bad side on it.
Hi Bruce – I remember how you told me before when you were working how some of the people would sometimes share their snack with you, or offer to, if you didn’t bring a snack that day. It really shows the generosity of the Filipino.
Yes, Bruce. I’ve seen foreigners dangle their money to cash-strapped pinoys. There has to be some dynamics at play here. Foreigners know the pinoy’s weakness & I’m sure they have exploited this. Pinoys, on ther hand, would rather beat the white guy to the draw.
Would you rather be mistaken for a rich foreigner than for a poor one? That’s a question addressed to those who might care to answer.
Hi james – Haven’t heard from you for a while, as I recall. Or maybe I didn’t connect the name james with bubba which you used often before! Nice to hear from you, though.
Your experience as you describe it mirrors mine too. It’s a big part of the reason why I love it here so much!
Hi Daryl – I think that in many ways, you find what you expect (not really YOU, anybody is what I mean). I mean, if a guy comes here expecting to get ripped off, he will get ripped off. If you come with a happy attitude and a friendliness, that is what you will get in return too!
Hi Philmor – Yeah, it happens, and it’s unfortunate. But, to me, it happens a lot less than people think it does.
Hi! Philmor
I think i know you, did ARNEL PINEDA WEBSITE ring a bell to you, i’m an active member there but unluckily my computer shot down so i just lurked most of the time for now if i have time to go to internet cafe.
Bob,it’s just an impression about filipinas but i guess only minority did that to escape poverty and it happened all over the world, ive’d been working here in S’pore and HK for so many yrs and believed me there’s more worse chinese women do that than pinay, here’s money are their life and business and so little do it for love, filipinas by nature and majority of us marry for love and they will not trade their love for money specially if they have a source of income.
My advice for all foreigner is, if they visit Philippines and look for a wife,is to really get to know the woman first before they commit themselves to them, some foreigners are blinded by a pretty pinay w/o knowing them very well thus disaster followed…. it’s just a matter of finding the right woman and you guys will be lucky if you found her, jmho…..
Hi Dan – I think there is a lot of truth to that. The old military bases got a lot of this kind of thing, if what you hear is true. But, Olongapo and Angeles are not the entire Philippines. And, I even doubt it is that prevalent there today. Thanks for commenting.
Hi Alex – Nice to hear from you here! Looks like I got you to come back to the site, and I’m glad for that, my new friend!
You know, I had to laugh a bit at what you said, because I do the same thing. I love to haggle in the market and talk the price down. It’s fun and entertaining. Then, sometimes I just give them the original amount anyway, and insist that it is a tip for them. I love going to the Public Market and interacting with the people there.
Hi tonka – I believe that 100%. A guy who offers you help and asks for nothing even when he has no food is blessed, and will be showered with blessings. It makes you feel guilty for having too much!
Bob,
Yes, as you and I always comment about is the hospitality of many Filipinos.
In the States and here, if there is a visitor in my home, Elena or I will always offer a beverage or snack to the visitor and if it is meal time always offer them to share our meal.
I know from my visits to your home, you are the same.
Hi Danny – You know, in our case, when it comes to looking at properties or any other such things, we rarely have Feyma go first and such. I go along, and really the prices we get are very reasonable. From time to time somebody might try to take advantage, but not often.
Hi Bruce – Yep, we always offer food or a drink to our visitors here. It’s the way things are done in the Philippines!
Hi Bruce –
I haven’t heard about that “Family circus” thing, but it sounds good if they are helping kids!
Hi Michael – I really have never had much trouble with taxi drivers at all, and my inlaws have gone out of their way to treat me well, so I have no problem with either.
Hi Joe – There are more than 39,000 comments from thousands of readers appearing on this site. Can you point me to even ONE where people say they could buy a woman in the Philippines or in Thailand? I don’t think you will be able to.
BTW, who are you to judge whether love is involved or not? I’ve been married to Feyma for nearly 2 decades. Is it degrading to Filipinos that she loves me? Frankly, I find your comment degrading.
Joe, I agree with what you said. Only Filipinos can understand the real issue. There are sentiments, culture, traditions, ways of life that can never be understood neither explained to foreigners no matter how long one has lived in their country.
Bob, you really shouldn’t take it very personally. You put your article out there to be feasted upon. And when someone voices their opinion against yours you start to be combative. The poor guy didn’t know you or your wife. I know you want people to read your article, inviting them on FB, but they will be turned off when they read how you respond to the comments. Consider the sensitivity of the Filipinos. I like the cooler Bob before.
Joe, Don’t worry. There are westerners who do the same (to use your term) “fawning” at me and some of my Filipina friends here in the US. I don’t want to think that at the back of their minds, they’re thinking maybe they can ‘buy’ me. Specially once when it was a thirteen year old that ‘dropped his jaw’.
So maybe it’s admiration, too, you know. Well Americans, let’s not deny it, have the skin that ‘papaya soaps’ are suposed to help us achieve; have the nose that most of our TV celebs flaunt; and usually the height that most Mr Philippines have to have to make it to the pre-screening. So it shouldn’t be surprising that Filipinas find Americans quite a catch, physically speaking.
As per the age, you know, honestly, there had been times when I saw a couple and instantly made my mind up that “it was a marriage of convenience” and that there was “no love involved.” But then again, I remind myself, what do I know? Some people might have thought the same same way about me and Jeff, and they’d be totally wrong if they knew me at all. So, I’ve come to learn to be positive about it and just let them be. I am sure anywhere in the world, there are relationships that don’t quite match the “Brangelina” couple. But you know, many of these Filipina-Westerner unions will most probably last longer than many ‘normal’ couples. And as long as we have “two less lonely people”, there shouldn’t be any problem, right?
Hi Chris Dearne – Nice to see you here, my friend. I hope you are doing well. Yeah, I really agree, there are plenty of doctors and others in countries in the west who are very happy to take your money! It’s certainly not any worse, and probably much better in the Philippines.
Hi Ronny – I have also had instances where people have run after me to give me money that I left behind. Sometimes, if I am in a restaurant and leave even a small tip for the waiter, they will run after me saying that I left money on the table. When I tell them that it is a tip, they are just shocked.
Hi Dave – I am glad that you found the article useful and that it drove home a point that you and I have discussed before. I really hesitated on whether I should write this article or not, but I decided that I should. Lourdes is really a very helpful lady, and she has done a lot of good deeds. Good people make our lives more enjoyable, and they bring out the good in us too. I am happy that I know Lourdes.
Hi Les van Dijk – Thanks for leaving your comment. I have an Aussie friend who came here a couple of years ago and had some serious dental work done (by Dr. Lourdes, BTW) here in Davao. In his case, he paid his trip from the savings on the dental work.
I never meant it’s you Bob. I used the word “some” to avoid stereotyping because we Filipinos often get it. It is degrading in the sense that many of this Filipinas are only after the money, not all of them, and one of the exception is if the couple truly feels for each other. Remember Nicole whose motive for relationship with a GI was a green card? Also, many of these relationship,not all, involves a young Filipina and an old white guy. Now I am a Filipino Bob, when we see a sight like this we could always hear comments from among us that the girl is only after the money. I don’t think a girl in her early twenties will fall for man already retired. This is degrading because love is not the motive but money or greencard or something else similar.
I said hear not read. Overheard from a conversations with my white co-employees (not verbatim):
Employee 1 I heard that your daughter is on holiday.
Employee 2 Yeah, she’s in Thailand. She’s extending it because it’s very cheap. She can get a smashing room for 10 quid.
Employee 1 You could also buy women over there or the Philippines for a few quid.
Now I don’t totally blame them if they have an opinion like that because many of my Filipina countrymen give also this impression. Can you blame me for disagreeing with my own kind?
Hi Joe – Let me say… I have heard Filipino men call my wife a Prostitute because she was with me. That IS demeaning. Imagine, her own Kababayan demeaning her like that because of the color of her husband’s skin. Is that a way to treat a fellow countryman?
I, like you, don’t like it when I see an 80 year old guy with a 20 year old wife or girlfriend. To me, it is not natural. But, it is not for me to judge either the man or the lady. If they find happiness together (for whatever reason) that is their choice. It would not be what I would want, but it is their choice.
In my somewhat limited experience of shopping in the Philippines, I have come accross a few people who regard me a being a rich American therefore ‘willing’ to pay a tad extra. However my reply is usually yeah Americans are rich, but I’m from England and I’m not as rich as them. Believe it or not, this usually works.
Sorry to you Kano’s, but thankfully many Filipino cannot tell an English accent from an American one.
However, most Filipinos I have met are not like that, and don’t appear to be making extra money because I’m a foreigner.
Hi Barry – Yeah, most Filipinos are not out for money. Some are, but like I’ve said, some people in every country are out for money! No different, no worse here.
Hey, quit pushing off the greedy ones toward us Americans!
“English accent” you say? haha English is English; it is everyone else who has an accent! Think about it!
Hi Queenie – I have also personally enjoyed this discussion – most of it anyway!
I agree that a small act of kindness to a Filipino is repaid many times over, and still never forgotten.
Hi Bacolod Barry – I believe that most women everywhere in the world look for financial security when they marry. Over history, men and women have had different roles. The man is historically the provider. The woman bears the children and looks after them. Over the past few generations things have been changing, and there is nothing wrong with that. But, I also feel that there is nothing wrong with a woman seeking a good provider as a mate.
Hi Bob
yeah agree to a point, but I personally know some Filipinas who married their man who was not rich, did not have any financial security, and was actually heavly into dept. These 2 girls are both fairly attractive and are sometimes chatted-up by guys who are obviously more richer than their husbands. They are totally devoted regardless of social status saying it’s better to be in a poor happy marriage than a rich un-happy marriage. Maybe they’re unusual, but I doubt it.
For me, yeah sure my wife has improved her social well-being, and regards me a being the breadwinner, in the same way as her role is the housekeeper and mother. When we got married there were some things we had to comprised on, but on the whole both of us feel we have gained so much more than we have lost.
I would like to think my wife loves me as a person, not just as her personal bank
Hi Bob, and in the Phil, catching a good husband is a competitive sport. There’s not many eligible bachelors around. The ones who are stable are taken, the rest are unemployed or quite young for 30 something single women. Most of my friends who married foreigners are considered spinsters by Phil standards.
Hi Jake – I agree fully that people tend to focus on the negative. People have fear of being scammed in some way, and they focus in on it, and rarely even notice when people are giving them good treatment, because they are so focused on looking for any possible negative. My own experience is just like yours, I can negotiate prices as good as anybody else can. Well… except maybe for Feyma, she really drives a hard bargain! I have seen her negotiate a price of P1,500 down to P300 and do it with a smile on her face! Tough woman!
Hi Paul – One thing I find is that by knowing the language, I rarely get anybody adding on even a peso to the price. They treat me as they would any local. I am a local after all, having lived here nearly a decade!
Hi Barry – Let me just be clear on one point… I never said that when a woman seeks financial security that there is then no love involved. I believe firmly that there is love involved in 99.9% of such marriages, even if financial concerns are also considered. And, also, I don’t think that a woman who looks out for her security thinks of her husband as her personal bank.
I think we are actually pretty much in agreement with each other’s thinking.
Hello Manong Bob, Kumusta. I’m in the process of changing my Gravatar pics.
Like Feyma, I too had been on the receiving end of some nasty comments from Filipino men when I took my (then) husband to PI. We had our 1 year old little boy then. We were at the Luneta Park in Manila, it was morning around 8-9 am, waiting for our flight to Cebu. Out of the blue, this 2 Filipino men made some nasty insinuations about how I must not have “made money last night” that’s why I was at the Park that early, trying to pick up customers. When I looked behind, there was no one else there, so obviously, they were talking about me (either that or I’m paranoid). Not wanting trouble at that time of the day, I just ignored them (these days, I would probably return the “compliment”).
Over the years, I found out from other friends that they too, had been the victims of similar nasty comments whenever they had gone home. We have come to the conclusions that it is envy, jealousy from these guys, to see that a lovely Filipina is on the arms of a Kano, rather than one of them. So to jealous Pinoys out there – eat your hearts out!
While visiting my husband in Korea during his assignment there, I met a Filipina who is active duty US Air Force. She told me her husband is 30 yrs her senior (the husband being a white American). I was shocked of course and she was amused at my reaction. She said the first thing people ask is, “is he rich?” I answered, if he was, you wouldn’t be in the military. She explained that her husband was always encouraging her to pursue her own interests. She said she had every intention of joining a convent, but the Mother Superior had convinced her to be sure first before making that commitment. It was during that time she met her future husband. She said the guys in her hometown were all lazy with no ambition to better their lives other than “tambay lang sa kanto” (hang out at the corner). I’m married a Filipino, but I get why a lot of Filipinas fall for foreigners. My late grandmother was one!
Hi David – The heart of the story is not about a suki relationship, but in the end that is exactly what it is about. Nope, I never wrote about this before, though, because it just happened 2 days ago!
Hi Christine – Hey, what happened to you lately? You’ve been pretty quiet!
I think it is really demeaning for Filipinos to say these things about their fellow countrymen. Hurtful. And, absolutely untrue. Frankly, it makes me feel sick.
Janet – So, if somebody basically calls my wife a prostitute I need to just sit back smile and say “have a nice day, my friend.” No, I am sorry, that is not going to happen.
Yes, I put my article out there for people to read and discuss. It is a discussion. We all get to have our own opinion, and we can express our opinion. That includes me. I can argue my opinion just like Joe can.
Consider the sensitivity of the Filipinos? I think I did that. There was no sensitivity shown toward women who married foreigners.
I am cool, not upset. But, I will not remain silent while somebody insults Filipinas for their choice of who they should marry.
Hi Hudson – Ha ha…
I can’t say I disagree on that! I, myself, would never go to the market in fancy clothes.
Oh, just pretty busy, Manong Bob. I will be in PI in couple of weeks, trying to make sure not one Auntie or cousin got forgotten with presents. As it happened, I re-packed my bags this morning, and sure enough, did not have present for 1 Auntie. Did Feyma ever worried about these when you were in the US?
I do agree with your points here. It’s not about the money always. But I found this to be true in the provinces and islands though. Last year, the local barber in my town gave my son a haircut, and he did not want us to pay for it. He said it was a treat seeing I have not been home for a long time. I got my sister in law to give the money to his wife (3 times the amount of his asking price). He was most grateful, and we just told him part of it is “pinaskuhan”.
Makes someone feel good, don’t you agree?
Oh, forgot to add, Filipinos who demean Filipinas who marry Kanos are just that – Outright jealous. Especially if they see the girl is pretty, and they are probably thinking “why not me?”. I know this is true, Manong Bob, because one Filipino guy actually told me. Otherwise, there would have been no reason for sour grapes, is there?
Hi Christine – Oh, of course, you have to worry about the pasalubong to make sure nobody is forgotten. If you forget somebody, that is an insult!
I like your story about the barber, that’s a classic. It is a good feeling for you, and for the barber too, I’m sure!
Hi Christine – I fully agree. Jealousy. Frankly, why is it anybody’s business, other than the lady and the man involved. Making judgments is rude and crude, especially when no information is available to base that judgment on.
Hi John – I like your last thought there, it’s a good one. I try not to act like I’m another Bill Gates and such. I hope I succeed.
Hi Hudson – I have said the same things myself. The poor (many of them) in the USA have so much compared to even the average man on the streets of the Philippines. It really is mind boggling.
Hi J.C. – I have also had similar such incidents with taxi drivers when I started to give them a tip, and they were puzzled, even shocked by it. Others gladly accept it. Some probably expect it. I, though, have had mostly very good experiences with taxi drivers, and other Filipinos too.
Hi wildcat – thanks for sharing your views and advice.
Hi wildcat75 – Ah… the old crab mentality….
Hi Bob! Not to argue w/ you coz I agree w/ what you say here. I’m just curious w/ your example ( I know it’s just an example ). Your example of being overcharged for bread. How does that work? A kano walks into a bakery and buys pan de sal or any kind of bread & gets ripped off?
Hi roy – Substitute whatever goods you want… I just pulled “bread” out of thin air. I really don’t have any such experience, was just replying to what chas said.
Bob – I don’t remember reading someone’s comment here calling your wife a prostitute. You said there are 39,000 comments here, show me where someone called your wife a prostitute. I really hate using this as an example.
But if if makes you feel any better, I too have been on the receiving end of being looked at as prostitute. I used to get upset about it but not anymore. I try not to wage war against the whole world when someone calls a filipina a prostitute just because they marry a white person. I realized there’s nothing in the world i can do to change peoples opinion about me. I KNOW WHO I AM, AND I AM SECURE OF IT!
As for the lady dentist, i’m happy for her act of generosity towards you and I am truly proud of her. she’s my kababayan you know ( I was planning on seeing her next year, thanks to your recommendation).
But i can’t help but wonder, what if “Bob” was packaged in a
different box? Let’s just say that he’s brown, poor, destitute-looking, wrinkly, nasty smelling breath, a few yellow teeth, and speaks a native language who is need of severe dental work. Will she still be as accomodating, as friendly, as generous, knowing fully well that he’s not going to be able to return the favor she’s doing for him? Let’s just say, I hope am wrong and you are right. But i seriously doubt it. What do you think Bob?
hi bob,
just to support how foreigner looked down at filipino in a very condenscending way, i will quote mike from the other topic he posted.
“all i can say is god bless america and europeans,canadians and australians because if it wasnt for us marrying there daughters and sending and spending our money in the philippines it would be even worse off!”?
let alone, mike actually looked down on his own wife, kids and family,
hi bob,
It is my mistake not to say “some”, I apologize for being sloppy, anyways, my point is, it is not only the filipino who would think that filipinas who are married to a foreigner is a prostitute, there are many foreigner as well who thinks the same when they see a young filipina married to an older white men. they probably think that the young pinay is only aftering for the older white men’s money, I’ve read many times in many forums that foreigner would say they can easily buy any filipina for a fairly cheap price in the philippines. I can provide you with many forum source and i am sure you are also aware of those forum site, many foreigners visits your website because your site is different from the “other” sites that promotes prostitution, your site provides usefull and meaningfull informations and thay is why i visit your site.
hi bob – I think the title “Filipino only want your money” can be easily equated with “pinay married to a white men” because the title itself is somewhat vague, there are many young filipinas married to an older white men and the first thing that would come to the readers mind is a pinay who are married to an older white men.
I think if the title is different you could get a different response. how about “local filipinos only want your money”?
Yes, the Pasalubong. Woe betide if one gets forgotten. There will be “tampo” (upset) big time. I think I would rather get whipped than be on the receiving end of “tampo” that can go on for days.
Oh you know, the barber’s fee was less than $.50. So even if I gave his wife 3 times what he normally charged, it was still less than the costs of a cup of coffee here. Besides, we’ve known his family for decades. This is what I like about small towns, you know who’s who, and you know that your kids can play on the seaside, with other kids safely. Now, if only some of the people can contain jealousy, and keep their negative opinions to themselves, the world in PI will be perfect….
Hi Bob NY – You have a lot of nice examples there, and mostly with the “no Kano tax” on them. I’m glad that you had that kind of experience on your visit!
Hi roy –
Yes, a woman over 30 here is often considered a spinster, but not so abroad.
Hi janet – Joe commented in several ways basically calling Filipinas prostitutes if they they become engaged with western men. Talking about how these women are only helping the exchange rate and such. Well, frankly it is offensive.
Now, as for the dentist. What would she have done if Bob looked different, had a different color skin, was stinky, or whatever? I can’t say, there is simply no way to know. But what I do know is that Lourdes has always been friendly and helpful to me. She is a married woman, and her husband is also a genuinely friendly guy. I don’t think Lourdes is out to help me or impress me because she thinks I have money, or in some way I have good looks. I believe that she is genuine, and I appreciate that very much. I can’t say what “would be” if “this or that” were different. I can only judge the way things are.
You are taking this personally. If I hit some nerves unintentionally then it only reinforces my opinion. I am not insinuating something about all Filipinas as prostitutes nor can it be gleaned from my comments. When I refer to exchange rate this is in reference to some comments I heard about the value of the dollar and looking down on pesos almost condescendingly. Now when some Americans present themselves to a trisikad driver vendor or merchant as a tempting offer, ultimately, somehow, somebody will bite. Obviously, you see the point from only your own perspective. Am I not a Filipino? Is my mother not a Filipino? How about my sisters , aunts, neice, cousins and friends? You have to dig deeper to understand our psyche. Your hurt about my comments although I am not referring to anybody. I understand that. But do you see this also in the perspective of the majority of Filipinos? Are you hurt also when white people look down on my wife, my sister, my mother, etc. and stereotype them as housemaids, immigrants or women who are only after something based only on their experience from the few.
Somebody said I’m jealous. Au contraire, why should I be jealous? In what sense? My wife is a Filipina (RGN supervisor). Do they mean not having a Caucasian for a wife? I find our Filipinas to be caring to a fault, especially those in the province. They will stick with you for better or for worse and will not divorce you. I will not deprive myself of these privileges.
I don’t have a crab mentality (perhaps, we Filipinos could purge ourselves also of “colonial mentality”). I am happy for my kababayans to succeed. I’m tired of being looked down by other races. Only Janet seems to be fighting for Filipino pride here. Egalite’
Hi Christine – Ah, haircut prices have gone up since your experience, though.
I pay P40 for a haircut, about US .80 or so. I see haircuts a little less still, though.
Hi JoeyB –
When you go to Hooters and pay $7, it’s not the beer that you are paying for, my friend! 
Yes,JoeyB, you were paying those prices for lousy beer at hooters and other bars. But can you say that you were charged those prices because they knew you were from Manila? Those prices are the same no matter who is buying at those establishments. There is no skin tax here. If you are visiting Washington DC, the vendors around the White house, charge “tourist” more for those same T-shirts you can buy at the local mall. But if I want to buy one of those T-shirts from those same vendors, I get charged the same and I live here! hahahaha. Just lightening the mood here.
hi bob,
most kano when they buy computer related or anything, the first thing they would ask is “how much”, to me that is a sign of you can be double charge, the right question should be “Do you have a price list?” because most computer store has a flyers or some sort of price advertisement.
another way of handling it is, when you enter a store and you feel that the price is not right, just tell them that you already priced the same product from another store and their price is lower than theirs. in other words just give them the illusion that you are aware of the real price.
lastly, act as if you are a filipino and ready to bargain for a cheaper price, a “take it or leave it” attitude helps a lot when dealing with store.
That was only last year, though Manong Bob? I think you are paying more because you go to the city? Still, even if I’d paid the guy AU$5, it is still heaps cheaper than what we normally pay here. My son usually go to a hairdresser here, and she charges AU$17 for the privilige!
Hi dans – I think that is a good strategy. I am guilty of it… “how much is that” and it really does open the door, as you say.
I had acquired price lists from some of the computer stores on a previous visit to review at a later time, these were helpful on the following visit, which I also used to calculate price ranges of things that interested me.
Most foriegn stores and reatilers will not conduct business with individuals over the phone or the internet, unless they have a website for such purposes. Many smaller independent retailers do not have that facility. I wanted to establish a few contacts that I would have the possibility of making a few purchases when I am not there as I have also done in the UK . Going into a place and haggling prices or trying to chisel a few peso off the price could leave an impression of being a ” cheap kano tourist ” which is something I wanted to avoid. Establishing price ranges of specific items before even going into any of these stores, also knowing what I would pay for the same item in my own country was enough of an indicator to me if I was being treated fairly.
Hi Christine – Maybe that barbero was out in the countryside, I’m not sure. Here in the City, though, I do pay a bit more!
Maybe I just to to too fancy a place! 
Hi vicki – Interesting story about the Filipina in the service! Her story sounds kind of inspirational to me.
Hi Sesaria – Contact form works fine. I just told Feyma to check her e-mail, she will get back to you. She said the e-mail just came today, and with the kids starting new school year tomorrow… well, she has been a little busy today (it’s Sunday too…).
Maybe I just e-mailed it yesterday, or day before; seemed like 5 days ago. Each time i visit your website (a couple of times a day) it’s like a day checked out, so maybe that explains why. Sorry if I sounded impatient! (the exclamation meant emphasis, not impatience).
No worries….
Hi James – Like you, I am a lucky man. Thankfully for me, I found Feyma at a relatively young age (27), and she is my one and only wife. Good luck to you.
Hi Bruce –
Ha ha… we all have accents…. even the Brits!
Hi dans – Because one foreigner says something demeaning, doesn’t paint every foreigner. I have heard plenty of Filipinos say bad things about Americans, but I don’t believe that all Filipinos are like that. In fact… although some may say that they don’t hear anybody “fighting for Filipino pride…” well, I am the one who wrote the article that tells how good Filipinos are! Right?
Hi dans – anybody who says those things is either stupid or ignorant. Maybe both. Anyway, I really am not certain how we got off on this topic, because it really has nothing to do with what this article is all about anyway. The original commenter said that he doesn’t like it when he sees a Filipina with a White man “unless there is love involved.” Well, how does he know if there is love involved? Does he to to the couple and ask them? I don’t think he does. Does he just assume one way or another? That is both unfair and a dangerous way to decide. Frankly, what it comes down to for me is that it is none of his business. There are only two people who have any business on this, and that is the man and the woman. Why should it matter to anybody else. As long as the man and woman are happy, nobody else should care.
Hi dans – The title I chose is an effective title, because it makes people wonder what this is all about – “does Bob suddenly think that Filipinos are out for money?” That is how you write a title that entices people to read your article. For anybody who actually read the article, they will then realize what it is all about. Sharing your opinion based only on the title could lead to embarrassment, because you might not really understand what the article was even about!
and that is just exactly what happened when someone made a comment about pinay married to a white men.
Hi dans – yep, I fully agree! As a matter of fact, the person who commented based on title alone is still seemingly saying that I am anti-filipino. Ha ha…
Hi John – Truth is that it is very rare that I run into any kind of skin tax here either. Has it ever happened to me? Sure? A few times in 9+ years of living here. That’s not a bad record.
Hi Michael – I have to agree that as a foreigner, if I go out with Filipinos, they seem to always expect I am going to pay. Well, not always, but often.
Hi Phil – Sounds like you got a good deal on that one! Welcome back to the Philippines!
thanks Bob …good to be home
Hi Phil – Are you in the RP for good now?
Hi Mike – And, thank you for sharing your opinions! I appreciate everybody’s participation. Ha ha… yes, those amusement parks in the USA are certainly very high priced, I can’t argue there.
Hello Gloria – Frankly, I could hardly stop laughing when I read your comment. There are bad people from every country, you can count on that. To blanket all Filipinos with the hatred that you are displaying is not only untrue, it makes you look bad. Filipinos without compassion? Now, that shows me instantly that you don’t know a thing about Filipinos.
Hi brianandmara – Thanks for commenting. Yeah, every race and every nation and religion have good and bad, none of us are perfect, and some are far from it!
I hope you enjoy your next trip to the Philippines.
Hi Terry – When we first came to live here Feyma experienced some of that too. But, not any longer. Even me, if I go to the market, I rarely get that kind of treatment from the vendors. They mostly all know me anyway.
Thank you, Robert. I’ll look forward to that handshake too!
Hi Gattone – Yep! Every country has it’s good and bad people, I’m just happy that most people are pretty good.
Hi USA-jane – Thank you!
xiexieniii – I have lived in the Philippines for going on 10 years. What you say does not match my experience.
I agree…