Fire The Nanny Or Just Beat Her?
Seems like a lot of life happens right on my front porch. Its a bit interesting how many stories I get while sitting on my porch. In a land, a long long time ago, people used to sit on their front porch with their family, especially on Sunday afternoons, and watch life go by. Many of you have been to that land, it was the 1950’s in the USA and of course somewhat into the 1960’s and there are a few hold outs like me. The Front porch in the USA leaves a lot to be desired these days. I still remember sitting on the porch with my grandfather, this was a normal pattern way up into the late 1980’s. Air conditioning probably had a lot to do with that pastime coming to an end.
How To Deal Your Nanny
Since, I’ve become a bit addicted to these wonderful Filipino hand made cigars, I’ve been headed out to the porch more often. I could smoke them inside but I don’t want too. They stink things up badly. I’m going to write about those cigars soon, either here or on heyjoe.com I’m not sure which.
Kids in the compound
I live in what used to be a family compound. It is still known by that family name. We don’t have a street address, we just use the family name, such as the “Yap Compound.” Its not really Yap, I just don’t care to give GPS coordinates to my home. Someone might mistake me for someone that has something to steal. HaHa
I rent the main house in the compound but there are six buildings in the compound. They’ve been converted into rental units and one into a boarding house. So we see a lot of what is going on in the other homes and I’m sure they keep up with me, its a pastime in small town. 
The other day I invited a friend over for a couple of beers and a smoke. He’s headed to Subic to teach English to Filipino and Koreans and wanted to wish him well. While we were out there, we got a bit of a surprise.
There’s a cute little 17 year old over there, yeah she’s cute and totally off limits so don’t even go there! She is working as a yaya, the local term for a nanny. She takes care of a five year old while mom is working at the local Gaisano. The other day mom came home to find a bruise on her son’s cheek!
The language got a little loud with sounds like “he’s just a baby!” That was followed with a flurry of fists! Mom decided to exercise some fast Filipino style justice. I didn’t see the yaya for a couple of days, I figured she was gone for good. I think she’s a family member though and she turned back up. She’s working for her aunt or ate (big sister) we think. That probably made this form of justice safe. Police here don’t like to get involved in family matters of this type. Sometimes the Barangay captain will get involved, mostly though that’s when a kano is beating his wife or girlfriend. Kano, stop doing that, her family will show up and “bash” you. That’s the word many Filipino use for that circumstance.
On a side note, guys stop hitting your women! No matter how insecure you are there’s no excuse for it. I put women beaters and child abuses on the same level. STOP DOING IT!
I wanted to share a bit of my Cebu Experience and some Philippine culture with you. I’m sure the girl and the aunt are back on good terms for now. She is 17 though, there will probably be more trouble. I saw her running through the complex with paper on fire last night. I guess she needed some fire so she borrowed some from a neighbor. Just the kind of thing a 17 year old would think was a great idea. I’m glad my house is concrete!
I hear there’s often a lot of drama in the average Philippine family. I’ve only had limited contact with Jessie’s family but didn’t see much of that there. I’ve seen a little though. Do you have any stories to share or thoughts about this one. Always love to hear from you, yes you too Roy. And don’t forget to come visit me at Living In The Philippines.
Hi Rusty – Great article. A man beating a woman is unacceptable, even by Kano standards. Of course, there are those whose standards don’t even reach that bar. To turn to an old joke, “How long has it been since you stopped beating your wife?”
Too, yayas, katulangs, neighbors, etc., are definitely off limits – even for single boys. Trouble with a capital “T” there.
I also agree about fine, hand-rolled cigars made from Isabella tobacco. Find myself particularly “hooked” on Tabacalera Coronas Largas, and our friends back home send me a box via padalla whenever Balikbayan friends take a vacation. Mmm mmmmmm!
hi rusty
have you given any thought to living where jessie is from so you can be close to her family? you dont have to live next door, just close by and you will truly experience living in the philippines.
maria
Hey Rusty, I have a front porch on our house in Illinois and our house in Davao City. I love to sit out there most of the time. I’m 55 years old, so I remember no air conditioning and sleeping out on the porch in the summertime. It was great as a kid. Life was surely a lot simpler. Watching the world go by… as Archie Bunker said, those were the days!
The one kid in the middle of the picture kinda looks like Mindanao Bob!
Please Rusty, no beat any maid and yaya.
Found a way to beat customs in the USA on cigars….just take the labels of em and say thier a legal brand, heck if Bill clinton can smoke cubans in the oval office i can smoke em in my “square” office !!! to !!!
Hi Rusty,
It’s kinda typical for family to submit their own justice there! My wife was telling me that in Cebu the police rarely would meddle in family affairs and if they did…it would be in a very lazy way, hehe. At our family house in Cordova (Mactan island) we have family to take care of the house and what not. We may be coming for a vacation next year…we should try to meet up and have a chat since you’re in Cebu
Hey Rusty. i have been without computer for 10 days so im late to reply to your article but firstly any man who beats a woman or oppresses her in any way is a coward full stop, i would be horrified if any one in phills judged me by how a sick minority behave. i think what you say about xpats not having strong family ties in their home country’s is very true but perhaps guys in our age group have experienced that bond in our youth and its something we truly crave, im not an expat yet just a commuter but its the family thing and the honest love of a woman i trust that motivates me i may appear one eyed in this respect but the family co operation that i rediscovered via my partner is something that truly motivates me. hardship can bring out the best in most people
Regards Les
Hi Paul!
Hmm why are neighbors off limits? this girl is off limits cause she’s 17 but even when she hits 18, I think she’d be too young. She’s cute but she strikes me as a baby still.
I can get those for you if you’re in between friends. I smoke the Churchill’s and et the Independence. Can’t ship those to the US as they are made from Cuban seed. These are probably as good as a Cuban. The leaves are allowed to age for two years before they are used to make cigars with. I’m waiting for a delivery now. Hope they come today, I’m all out of the Churchill’s, I only have some Panatella left. I’m cutting back. I’ve been smoking to many of them.
Maria,
Her brother wants us to move there, he says there would be business opportunities for me there.
She’s the one that picked living here. She was against moving to Bogo until she got here and fell in love with the place. I think she was afraid I wouldn’t like the smaller cities and towns but I’m fine with that.
We might go back to Jessie’s home town someday, not possible right now. Her oldest likes it in Bogo too as he has lots of friends here.
I don’t think we’ll leave the area but if we did it would probably be for a cooler climate in the mountains if we did or maybe Subic Bay area.
Those business opportunities are both sounding good to me but also a little leery, Jessie’s family is not rich but some of her family is well off.
Avoidtng some drama by not being there too.
I am not against it though. There would be some benefits.
Thanks, Rusty – I still have a box of 25 that I haven’t cracked open yet, and I’ll be there in the islands next month, so it’ll just take a small trip to the city (Laoag) to pick some up.
“Manila cigars” have come a long way in the past decade. Those that smoked like an old section of rope are no longer in business, and many that stayed in business did so because they improved their quality control. The Tabacalera’s are well constructed and burn evenly – all the way down to the nub!
The Independence can be shipped to the USA with no problem. Only post-1958 Cuban cigars are embargoed from and illegal in the territorial USA. There are plenty of “Cuban seed” tobaccos grown around the world that find their way into the USA without trouble.
Almost all cigar tobacco in the Isabella and Cagayan regions is “Cuban seed” – brought by Spanish friars from Cuba via Mexico. Tobacco in the Ilocos region is mostly Virginia burley and is used to make cigarettes.
I’ve read a number of reviews and reports that when today’s Cuban cigar is put up against today’s “Manila cigar,” the Philippine cigar wins hands down (construction, burn, ash, taste, etc.). Things haven’t been going too well down in the Hurricane Alley of the Carribean.
btw, neighborhood relationships are subject to far much more chizmis than those between members of different neighborhoods.
Hmm, Where I buy my Tabaqueria states they can’t ship them to the USA. I thought it was because of the Cuban seed. They ship their other cigar’s there though.
I’d be lucky if a box of 25 lasted me 14 days.
Tabaqueria are the only ones I’ve seen heree. Can’t get cigars of any kind out here in the province.
I found a site online that has Cuban’s but they are way out of my price range at around 10 bucks
People have been talking about me my whole life.. Its way to late to start caringn now. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”
Hi Rob –
yea he does doesn’t he
charley brown look
I love the older houses with porches all the way around them. I want one like that. There is a blue house with white fenced porch that sticks in my mind. Not sure if I actually saw it some place but I probably did. I’m pretty sure if I ever get where I can build here, it will have a huge porch, maybe all the way around.
Sleeping on the porch though, that’s a different, I never saw that happening. I think in the south you might be eaten alive if you did that. Attack of the killer mosquito.
I grew up with out aircon, we usually had one in the window but were to poor to use it, especially in the 70’s after the energy cost sky rocketing, gas prices at a staggering 50 cents a gallon! Gasp.
I think Archie Bunker’s character was taken from my grand father, minus the racism. While most of my family was quite racist (Mississippi) I never remember him saying anything remotely racist.
A Filipino might get away with that, I’d be jailed in a heart beat. We did have one that didn’t work out. Food kept disappearing at an excelerated rate and she was inviting her friends over late at night.
We just paid her for next month and sent her on her way.
I’m not going to mess with customs in the Philippines or the USA. I like it here. Are their duties to pay on them or does that not apply to cigars?
These are better than Cuban’s I”m told and instead of $10 or more each, they are about $3.00 for their best made.
I’ve never had a cuban though so I can’t say for sure and at $10, I’m not likely to be buying more than one to find out.
Brian, I like your gecko avatar.
Would be happy to meet you. I don’t get down to the city very often myself.
Not seeing the yaya around here much lately. Hitting a child hard enough to leave a bruise on his face is pretty far out there but the yaya is still a child too. Appears she has a temper.
Its not uncommon at all for a family to take care of a problem. Jessie remember a group of man getting together once with sticks to go after a wife beater. She never saw the wife beater again. Maybe he decided his welcome had ended. Hopefully they managed to put an end to his ways.
There was a man on Bantayan Island that died last year. Rumor was group of men beat him but the official reports were he died in a jail cell from heart failure. Oddly, the hospital he was taken too first ruled the death strangulation. The police claimed he was beating his head on the wall.
My GF’s brother is a Barangay Captain and he told me that his biggest problem was foreigners beating their wives.
Yeah people don’t turn to the police as quickly here as they do in the USA and probably most other western countries.
Hi Rusty,
Do you think it’s true, what your GF’s bro tell you about his biggest problem? Why do you think it happens more to wives married to foreigners? & how is that observation by your GF’s bro affect you in terms how the locals look at you.
Why do you question it Roy? Of course I believe it. I suspect he means in terms of complaints that come in. When you think about it, most expats are eccentric, they don’t have strong family ties from their home land. Why do you suppose that is? I’m talking in general terms, not all of us are like that. I’m eccentric, I don’t have strong family ties from the USA, which is a little sad for me but I came here and turned that all around.
Most expats seem to be alcoholics too. My doctor here has asked me about five different ways if I am. Four cases of SMB lasted me six months. I went out last night and I had one beer. How many expats do you see hanging out where the beer is cheap? LOTS.
Drinking leads to those kinds of issues, that is many drunks get mean. I find everything to be funny but do to my health, I avoid drinking too much it makes me sick. Lots of pain in my gall bladder, sometimes one beer will trigger it. Just not fun at all.
I think most expats are seen as womanizers, there is some envy and jealousy toward us, sometime for all the wrong reasons. We’re not rich.
Well most of us.
There is also resentment and based on what I’ve seen around the web related to RA7610 we are suspected of being pedophiles. I picked up on a little of that with my post about 7610 last week.
Despite these stereotypes, I’ve found that if I speak first to Filipino they are very friendly to me. I see pinoy snicker at Jessie as she’s another hot Filipina with an American. That bothers me a little, I don’t like to see Jessie being treated that way.
While I see all of this, I also see many Filipino reach out to me. “Hello my friend” might be one of the few English phrases they fill comfortable with attempting. That always makes me feel welcome.
The Filipino I know seem to like me and respect me and don’t think I have evil intentions. I need to stop being lazy and learn the language, that would help a lot.
In Bogo, I’ve been here long enough that people know who I am and know me as a family guy. There is a child that lives next door that was scared to death of me for a long time. That’s because of the loud mouth expat that use to live here. She’s no longer afraid of me, she’s shy but she does make a point of coming to say hello to me.
Some Filipino want to get to know me, I’ve never had one be rude to me so I think most don’t prejudge me but some do. Probably based on their experiences with other expats. I make an effort to turn those stereotypes around.
Roy, I’ve been thinking about this… I think its more likely that an expat will get reported than a Filipino would. We are guest here and should be held to a higher standard for that reason.
But, if a Filipino does it, its going to be seen more of a family matter so I would guess that it is less likely that the barangay captain would get involved. No?
Hi Les,
As for eccentricity and family ties, none of us make it to 40 without getting a little screwed up. We’re probably there in our 20’s but it takes another 20 years for us to accept it.
This world, it does take its toll. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves, sometimes crap happens.
Welcome back.
Hey, Rusty… I’ve met Brian in person, and I’m tellin you… that ain’t’ no gecko! That is actually what Brian looks like before his first cup of coffee!!!
He looks pretty good first thing in the morning compared to me.
I’m not surer but I think Juliet wants to mate with me for the first couple of hours….
Rusty – cough… cough… no comment….