Oh, happy days are here again – a solution found; a problem solved! No more searching the near and far reaches of the province for someone whom we feel safe being with and whom we can trust with everything we have. In the “Find a Katulong” contest, we have a *WINNER*!
As most readers may recall, *LOVE* took our former katulong away from us. Now, she is happily living at her intended’s parents’ house. (How strange is that – living with your “future” mother- and father-in-law prior to your wedding? I must have stumbled upon some kind of cultural thing by chance; or . . . .)
Her sudden departure left us in a bit of a bind (darn that Cupid). We had only been home for about a month’s time when she told us of her plans. We were quite dependent on her to help us settle back into our Philippine life. Now we faced a challenge – finding another katulong. While my wife Emy and I agreed that this was her task, I remained available on the sidelines to assist whenever needed.
It didn’t take long for that need to arise. Emy was not having much luck, and the friends and relatives who were helping with the search were not having much luck either. She asked me if I had any ideas. I didn’t but was able to shuffle about as if I did. I asked just what kind of person we were looking for. When I heard the description, I could only think of one person – the love-struck katulong who had just left. Perhaps it was time to sit down and discuss all the aspects we could think of concerning a replacement and not a twin.
Find a Katulong Contest
Let’s see just what qualities we want in a katulong. Male or female – tradition says female and we’re a tradition-mindful couple. Single or married – we don’t want Cupid to sting us again if we can help it, so make that one married. Related or stranger – having interviewed a couple of strangers already, Emy says she definitely wants a relative (and not a distant relative). Young or old – since an older woman may have difficulties in doing some things, we’d want a stronger, healthier young one (being married would help set the lower limit of the age range).
Summarizing so far, we’re looking for a young, married, female relative. That narrows the field down considerably. Is there somewhere we can be a little more flexible? Perhaps we need to “think outside the box,” even if it’s just a little bit outside. Those four qualities, however, seemed fixed as far as Emy was concerned. We’d have to look at other “katulong things” for our out-of-box venture.
Our former katulong stayed with us 24/6. We provided room and board, and gave her a day off each week. Now, if we wanted a young, married, female relative, would she put up with seeing her family only one day in seven? Perhaps we can shorten the stay to something like 12/6 – six days of working 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM or thereabouts. That would make the position a little more attractive and, besides, we’re just two able adults staying in this house overnight. We couldn’t think of any reason that we would need someone to stay with us throughout the night.
Another thing we could try is providing a little flexibility in the work schedule. If the katulong needed to take some time off during the week (say, for visiting her child[ren]’s school), we could adjust her schedule. Being able adults, we don’t really need anyone at our beck and call at all hours of the day. Though our house is large, its layout is quite open so cleaning doesn’t take as long as it would in a more traditional style house.
Our House - An Open Layout
These, and a few other “human resources paradigm shifts,” provided a larger and better-focused field of search. The only thing we needed to do was communicate these shifts to all who were helping us look. For me, it was back to the sidelines. Emy would handle the communications.
It seemed like the supply of potential katulongs had opened before us. There were interviews (I watched and listened from another room) and a lot of good prospects. I did feel sorry for the “good looking gals” – they’ll never know that their beauty disqualified them though they might have been the most qualified otherwise. With the prerogative of baket ko (asawa ko) [my wife] being to keep all temptation away from me, this was no beauty contest! Still, out of a number of potential katulongs, no one seemed just right to “the boss.”
As is its habit, fate intervened. A first-degree cousin in California called to ask whether the position was still available. He heard we were in the market and he had a suggestion for us. (Have to love that “bamboo grapevine”/”coconut wireless”!) His son and daughter-in-law live in a fishing barangay just down the road and they were looking for ways to earn a little extra cash. They have college and high school aged kids, so the daughter-in-law was still “relatively” young and strong. Her looks barely passed Emy’s strict qualifications.
So let’s see – a young, married, female relative is what we were looking for. Our niece meets these qualifications. Was she willing to work six twelve hour days and take one day off? Yes. Could she handle regular katulong duties? Oh, yes. Would she be willing to take on some extra tasks like watering lawns and plants, and light gardening? Sure. It all sounded good to Emy – she called me off the sidelines to provide my limited input. I agreed. We’d give her a probationary period of two weeks and see how she copes with us.
Probation has been over for a week or two, and she’s still with us. “Our katulong” – seems great to be able to say that again. Yes, we have a winner (actually, Emy and I are the winners); and the *WINNER* is our niece.
About PaulK
Great story Paul. I hope you keep us up to date on how things are going. I was also happy to see how much input you had. Zip, zero. A man sure can live longer that way. heheh. Good luck!
Hi Paul! I’m hoping all is still well with your new katulong. I was just gonna say that nowadays, live in helper is becoming less of a trend. Where I’m from, in Iligan City, the new trend is part-time or live out helper. When I was home for a visit last February, the lady that my mom hired comes 3 times a week, in the day, cleans our house, do laundry,ironing, yardwork, some cookin, do errands and stuff, then she goes home.She works fast and usually get done by working 6 to 7 hours, even less at times. The arrangement was, she’ll do everything that needed to be done for that day, and then she can go home. She even brought her own lunch but as a courtesy, we always invited her to eat with us, if we were home. I love it coz we still have our little privacy and besides, the lady also have her family to take care of after work. It worked out great for both sides. We paid her P2500./month, since it’s only my mom and my single sister, that lives in our relatively small house. People with kids and or with bigger house have higher rates. It depends in the negotiations. You might wanna check into this option if live in helper is becoming difficult to find. Goodluck!
Hello Paul,
Is a great story, BUT, why would you need someone 6 days a week, 12 hours a day? What does your wife do? Does she work? Just curious.
Salamat kaayo,
Danny
Hi Paul,
I really enjoy the way you write!
As far as katulong goes, I prefer if they don’t live with us. Having someone come in 6 days a week and working 8-10 hours is just what I want/need.
For those posting comments here, I just want to let you know that it might be a while before we hear a reply from Paul. Paul lives in Ilocos Norte, which was affected by the most recent typhoon. As a matter of fact, the Typhoon (Pepeng or Parma) stalled out almost right on top of Paul and his family for the better part of a week now. I was in contact with Paul yesterday. He has been without Electricity for 4 or 5 days now. When I texted with him, he told me that he is doing his best to conserve his batter power on the cellphone, to be able to maintain communications. I believe, though, that he lost the battle with the cellphone battery, because I texted him with a message from his mother earlier today and got no reply from him.
Paul reported to me that the situation is safe, just wet and windy, and no electricity. Hopefully we will hear back from him soon.
reminder to paul… remember the generator idea …. no serious I hope you are all safe and protected… good time to explore Mindanao don’t you think ? now you have someone to watch your interests ! congratulations well thought out
Hi Edward – My thoughts exactly: minimum work = maximum life! Thanks for the comment.
Hi Bob (and everyone),
Electric power was restored to the Keating household at approximately 6:00 PM, Thursday, October 8 (for those of you who were keeping a log book). All is well, and we suffered no damages. Neighbors, on the other hand, didn’t come away as lucky. Next door, the fellow lost most of the trees he had surrounding his lot. Across the street, the fellow lost a section of roof. Rice fields look to be about 80% loss – farmers were in the fields saving what they could during the storm. The birds are having a daily picnic.
BIG THANKS go out to Bob for all he’s done for us. If we were in the USA, I’d say, “Bob, you’re a peach.” Since we’re in the Phils,
we’ll make that “Mango.”
(Who said durian?)
Hi Tommy – The one person standing between me and a generator has been thoroughly convinced that we need one. I am sure it will be a while until we get one – storms and outages like these tend to put a run on the local hardware stores for such items.
All are well, thanks – I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else than right here in Ilocos Norte! Ya gotta love it, or leave!
Hi, Paul. Really enjoyed your article on the hiring of the new katulong. As a newbie here in the Philippines, I did not know that term yet, however, even though I was ignorant of the phrase we just hired our own katulong a few weeks ago, my sister-in-law Marjorie.
Marjorie just got out of Jedah as an OFW where she was accused of stabbing the head of the house (the wife.) Marjorie did no such thing and was fortunate to get out of Saudi without being arrested.
Marjorie’s two children have been living at “The Compound” here in Guimaras for the past 10 years and hadn’t seen their mother in 5 years. Their father is a druggie that has been separated from Marjorie and the kids for over ten years. I asked my wife if Marjorie would be interested in coming over here as a maid (I did not know the proper term at the time), and she agreed.
She does a good job, but I am reluctant to ask her to do something myself, and usually relay what I would like done to the real boss here, which is of course my Sainted Patient Wife. We pay her P2500 to take care of a family of seven. In Jedah, she cared for a family of fourteen and lived in 130 degree heat. She made approx. 220 USD a month.
Again, loved the article. Take care.
Paul, glad to hear typhoon Parma did no damage to your beautiful retirement home ( from the picture). The typhoon reminds of Reming, a couple of years ago that devastated 80% of Marinduque. Anyway, this year our province was spared, thanks God.
On the katulong subject, the qualification you listed are exactly, the same qualifications of our Katulongs in Marinduque. Except we have four, husband and wife and two kids. We built their own house near our main house and we provide everything, electricity, water, housing, sack of rice every month plus their regular salary. They are happy, Macrine and I are happy. This is essential since we are in Marinduque only 5 to 6 months every year. Cheers! and good luck your new katulong! Regards to Emy!
I loved your story-telling style Paul. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me.
Nice to hear that things are going good. My wife’s family live in Laoag next to the airport, and seem to have weathered the storm. How far do you live from Laoag? Nice to have a voice about the Ilocos area. I bet that you have relatives in Hawaii.
Hi Paul;
Glad you weathered the storms alright. About generators, this is a non-sea story. 1999, we moved into our new house. I had to meet a new ship in Hong Kong, so as I departed I left my darling wife the money to install a generator. Two months later I phone to ask how she was after a fairly large typhoon had just hit our area. She told me about how she went 7 days with no power. “What about the new generator? I asked. She then explained that she felt that new dining room furniture was more important. I smiled and told her to plug everything into the new table and cabinet for power. My next trip home the generator was installed, and now she can’t live without it.
BTW, if your former maid is getting married, she now fits the new job profile for employment at “Casa Emy”, why not offer her, her old job back??? OK, I’ll just go watch the ALDS and NLDS games on ESPN.
Hi David – thanks for the kind comments. “Retirement Home” is definitely what it is. Both Emy’s and my retirements are invested in it!
If there were more than just the two of us living here, your katulong situation is exactly what we’d want. You’re a lucky man, David!
Hi Dave – I’ll have to hide your comments from our katulong – don’t want her to see that salary!
Thanks for the nice words. I, too, am reluctant to ask the katulong to do anything for me. I’ll usually as Emy to ask for me – keeping that buffer of safety for me and reinforcing the “Boss’s” (Emy’s) position in the household as “Ruler of All Things Material”!
Hi Paul glad to hear all are safe, I didn’t mean move to Mindanao but a good time to take a trip and visit friends ! saw your video too wow what a beautiful yard and fence I wish I could live like that but I am happy so thats what matters
Hi, Dave:
All I can say is that your sister-in-law, Marjorie, is very, very lucky to have left Saudi Arabia without getting arrested on allegations of “stabbing” her employer. I won’t ask how she got out of the country, the most important thing is that she is safe and back home with her kids and family. The Saudis are not known for being lenient. I’m sure many of us still remember the Flor Contemplacion story in Singapore. If you don’t know, perhaps your wife can tell you that very sad story.
I know exactly what you mean when you said you are reluctant to ask Marjorie to do things for you around the house, being that she is your wife’s sister. Also, the Patient Sainted One (PSO) may be reluctant herself to “order” her own sister around for reasons of kinship, and, if Marjorie is older than the PSO, that’s even more complicated.
If I may suggest a way to get around the discomfort of having to directly ask Marjorie to perform certain chores around the house in certain ways, you can do them yourself as a way of demonstrating subtly, in Marjorie’s presence and with a genuine smile, that this is the way you prefer having things done, like over-emphasizing the creases in your shirt when ironed, for example. LOL Keep in mind, though, that Filipinos are ever perceptive in reading body language, and in general are very sensitive to slights, real or imagined, if you haven’t found that out yet. So, when you take that ironing board out and start ironing your shirt in Marjorie’s presence, make sure you do so while whisting, “Lupang Hinirang”, while winking at her from time to time. Hahaha
John
I like your house, and the area looks so neat, so tidy. And the open concept style is my thing too. I’ve been checking out houses there, and I found cubbyholes chopped up into small rooms. Going back to the katulong, while renting a condo in Quezon city, I discovered the joys of live-out katulong/2 days aweek. It might take me awhile to have someone living in. Alex
Hi annm – I agree with the trend. I see no reason to have someone here overnight when my wife and I are still young enough to get up at night and “do it ourselves”!
I’ll have to hide your comment from the katulong, especially the part about how much yours gets paid.
Hi Danny – Baket ko (Asawa ko) [My wife] re-does everything the katulong does. After all, no one can do it as well as she can!
We don’t need much help, yet. When we’re in our “more senior” years then, perhaps, we’ll have a live-in who also has a nursing license.
Hi Miss August,
I really enjoy the way you compliment!
(Now I’m under pressure to keep articles up to standards!)
Yes, the day of live-in maids is over, imho. There was a time when a katulong’s family lived with yours – the husband was the gardener/driver/whatever, eldest daughters were yayas, etc. Now, no more!
Hi Paul and Danny,
Juramie buyaw nga babae,igsoong at ig-agaw (sp)live with her in our apartment in Baybay. Juramie could easily do the housework in the apartment. I am aware of the poverty after my first visit to the Philippines and I am glad to pay Luz for her work and companionship (especially since I visit twice a year). Plus, I never think I had my underwear ironed before (great job Luz). I am sure we will have a family member or friend with us after I retire and move to the Philippines. I prefer that also.
This is what I like the best. I was chatting with her cousin yesterday and she was talking about how kind Juramie is with her and her family. Being an American male with a relationship with a filipina babae, I enjoy seeing Juramie treated with respect.
I have been rereading Bob’s articles about “SIR”. The chat response yesterday from Juramie cousin was definitely “gratitute”. Salamat Bob for the postings. I have been rereading the postings in preparation of my November trip. I have found the writings very valuable.
Hi Jack – Yes, helping out financially is really a big part of our having a katulong. Up north, here, one is either a farmer or a fisherman. Either one qualifies as a pauper. (Of course, politicians and professionals are not included, but hire katulongs for similar reasons.)
Anything to ease the burden of poverty and fill a stomach with rice!
Hi Paul – Well, we’ve gotten the furniture taken care of. We continue to spend the “chandelier” money for other things. A generator has moved up to the number one spot (until some other shiny object snatches Emy’s eye).
The former katulong won’t be married until November. Now, there is one and a half of her, if you know what I mean!
Hi Jay – Things are wet, wind-bent but okay now that power and internet service is back. We live about 25 km north of the airport at Gabu (Laoag City). Happy to be here and “report” on area happenings (nothing ever happens except weather!).
Doesn’t everyone have relatives in Hawaii?
Thank you, David S. You are most welcome to the stories! I hope future ones continue to measure up.
(This is a repeat from below – don’t know why it didn’t connect but I’m sure it has something to do with my fingers!)
Hi David – thanks for the kind comments. “Retirement Home” is definitely what it is. Both Emy’s and my retirements are invested in it!
If there were more than just the two of us living here, your katulong situation is exactly what we’d want. You’re a lucky man, David!
Hi Tommy – Sorry for the delay, but a week-long internet outage was finally cured by the SMART-Bro techs today (10/17/09).
Yes, I realized you’re meaning just as soon as I let go of the “Submit Comment” button. Perhaps after typhoon season is over I’ll drop into Mindanao to look things over!
Hi AlexB – Thanks for the compliments. They all go to baket ko (asawa ko) [my wife] Emy. She made all of the choices, decisions, etc. in erecting the house. I served more or less as a sounding board when fed a question regarding something which I preferred, this or that.
Our former katulong was live-in but she was also a very familiar relative. So, it didn’t cause any mental anxiety or discomfort when she started her job and basically moved in. Our current live-out katulong doesn’t have the same familiarity as a relative. She, too, doesn’t have much desire for live-in status. Whenever she needs to stay the night or two, our nephew – her husband – comes and stays with her. That way, all end up comfortable with the temporary arrangement.