Live Like a King in the Philippines!
OK, you look at the title of this article, and you think “What is this guy selling?” or “What is he smoking?” Truth is, at age 57, I never expected to live like a king. No offense to my peeps back home (and I have no idea what a peep is, except that is the sound these little chicks following their mother hen make around here) back in the States, there is no way I would be living like a king back in America unless I was Bill Gates or one of the Wal-Mart heirs. It just would not be happening. I would still be at my mind-numbing job at the phone company bored to death and watching the clock. But here I am in the Philippines just over a scant three months, and I am already living like a king.
Dave, or Bonehead (take your pick, they are interchangeable in my case), you may ask, how can you make such a bold statement? How can one live like a king in the Philippines? Well, let me first make one distinction. I don’t call myself a king although my Sainted Patient Wife told me last week that I was a KING! Now you guys out there married to a beautiful Filipina like I am, have probably already heard that from your asawa countless times. And you guys reading this living in America married to a wonderful American lady (as I once was during my brief nine and ½ month first marriage over 20 years ago) have NEVER heard it. No offense to you terrific American ladies, and please note I am 7000 miles away living in a python-infested jungle filled with thousands of huge spiders big enough to stop a Mack truck. And with huge bugs swarming around that will knock you out in a heartbeat if one smacks you in the face. And don’t forget the lizards. Don’t get me started on the lizards!
So I stopped to think what my asawa said, which in itself was rare because I usually don’t remember what she tells me unless it pertains to breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or snacks, or she needs some pesos to buy something. I do live like a king here. We support eight people in our household on around 500 USD a month, and we live pretty comfortable. We have a laundry lady we pay 1000 pesos a month, and a maid which we overpay at 2500 pesos a month (but she is my sister-in-law.) The house and property we live on is bought and paid for years ago by my wife when she worked overseas for years in Singapore and Taiwan as an OCW (old school term for Overseas Contract Worker) and now is called OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker.) Everyone waits on me hand and foot here. I don’t ask for it, they just do it. Even my mother-in-law, The Feared Giant Lizard Killer with the big bolo, likes me. I’ve got it made, and I know it.
Could you live like a king somewhere else? Probably, but let me see, I am surrounded by beautiful tropical beaches and beautiful Filipinas (that I do not stare at when my wife is with me, but you cannot help but notice them), warm temperatures year round, no snow to shovel, no job to go to, friendly people (including my wife), and a lot less stress. Back home in the States I had to help with the laundry, clean my own bathroom, cook my own meals half the time, and go to work. Let me see, United States or the Philippines? Work, or here we go again, live like a king in the Philippines. But wait a minute, my Sainted Patient Wife just walked by, and I told her what I was writing about. She laughs and says to me: “I said you act like a king around here; I didn’t say you are a king.” Shoot! Had her living in America too long! I’ve just been dethroned!
Less than $500 USD? That’s great to hear! Where are you from in Illinois? As a kid I lived in
where did you live in illinois im from danville ill
Hi Tonka, I grew up in Mt.Olive, Il., a little town in central Illinois, worked in Springfield, and lived in Auburn, Il, about 25 minutes south of Springfield for 10 years.
Sure, I know Danville, Dick and Jerry Van Dyke grew up there, right?
Thanks for the comment.
Hi Imagine, I’m originally from a small town in Central Illinois called Mt.Olive, and spent the last ten years in Auburn, another small Central Illinois town. I’m afraid the end of your comment got cut off, so I can’t tell where in Illinois you lived, but it has been my experience that guys from Illinois are exceptionally handsome and intelligent (that also applies to all guys named David.)
Thanks for your comment, and yes, about $500 a month, if it was just my Sainted Painted Wife and my mother-in-law, The Feared Giant Lizard Killer, and myself, it would a lot less since the majority of the budget goes to feeding the large crew here. Thanks for the comment!
Oh Yea! All guys named David or Dave are handsome and intelligent? I like it, Tokayo! Now that you have been dethroned, can you give me or lend me your crown even just for one day!
Hi David, Yes, I don’t presently have the documentation to back up my claim that all Daves and Davids are handsome and intelligent,but when John Reyes and Paul get the mango and first Filipino settlement in America issues cleared up, I’ll see if they can’t research my David claim (but we already know the answer, don’t we, Tokayo?)
Sure, you can borrow the crown anytime David. I keep some spare ones around for loaners. Thanks for the comment.
Hey Dave,
This reminds me of a story where a guy gets passed over for a vice president job at his work. He comes home very dispondent and blue. His wife asks “whats wrong?” He explains how he got passed over for the VP position. His wife tells him “Its ok honey, You can be vice president here at home”
I agree with you about having a filipina wife. I’ve never been treated so well.
My Filipina sisters in law always call their husbands “president” (not King, but as close as you can get in a Republic). The ladies never wanted to be president in the first place, they just want to be treasurer.
- Peter
Hi Senn and Peter, Yes, I could settle for the title of President, King does seem a bit much, I suppose, but I agree with the treasurer part! My wife never asks for money, but for some reason, she has about 500 times more pairs of shoes I do, and clothes in three closets compared to the little half closet space I get.
Thanks for the comment, and hold on to your wallet!
Hi, Hudson (love the car), That’s a funny story, and that’s the way it is, I know I’m not really in charge.
But my wife really does treat me like a king, it is the Filipina way,and I’m glad Mindanao Bob lets me write something here since I would probably catch too much heat back at my blog for this little article, LOL! Too many of my friends back in the States read it (not my ex-wife, though!)
Thanks for the comment, nice to hear from you.
Good story Dave – I was married to a Filipina for 25 years and one day. I wasn’t even the butler. It was rocky at best for the first few years. She hated the USA. Then I became disabled..that was the end. After 24 years she tried to kill me. Sigh – what a prize!
Enjoyed that story—haha–you act like a king…funny.
I did my junior and senior year and undergrad work and managed a movie theater in Illinois. Highland—downstate near St Louis. SIUE graduate. Go Cardinals–well next year anyway!
Sorry, Edward Gary. The majority of Filipina friends my wife had back in Illinois were wonderful, devoted wives, but there was one that I did not allow in our house; she married a much older gentleman just to get into the States.She bragged about it! She divorced him claiming abuse, married another American, cheated on him, but it all caught up with her. She got busted by Immigration and booted back to the Philippines. I laughed my you know what off when I heard.
Thanks for the comment, and take care, Edward.
Hi Pete, yeah, it’s just an act. I am familiar with your area, got a scholarship to attend SIUE as a matter of fact, but I turned it down (what was I thinking?), and joined the Air Force.
Go Cardinals, you bet! My grandfather was a big fan, as is my Dad, and myself. Thanks for the comment, Pete.
Here’s the good part—I joined the army out of Illinois and for my reenlistment incentive I got to return to Ewardsville to finish the undergrad business degree–all expenses paid. E4 pay at the time, BAQ (but I lived at home), and Illinois paid the tuition. And I still collected some GI Bill too. What a good couple tears that was.
Then 14 years later I met my honey who was working in the DFAC at Iraq–I was the Chief Warrant in charge….funny how things work out.
Take a note, Ling-Ling:
Hi Dave – Quite an interesting article. Here, I don’t even consider myself lucky enough to be a jack or a ten, but a king?
Yes, never have to worry about money. Taking care of the wallet and its contents is baket ko’s (asawa ko’s) [my wife's] job which she happily plies. All I have to do is make sure that some contents exist (I’m allowed to peek in a couple of times a year).
Never have to worry about food – there’s always someone stuffing something down my gullet, regardless of whether I ask for it, need it or refuse it.
Never have to worry about laundry, but as a result, find myself replacing my battered wardrobe items a little more often nowadays.
Have yet to find a good “sedan chair” and four strong, stout-hearted relatives to put their shoulders to it, so I still have to rely on cheap tricycles, jeepneys, buses, etc., not to mention all of the free rides provided by favor-seeking gentry about the province!
I couldn’t possibly define any amount in those terms of “so-many dollars per month.” Why, even the local power cooperative bows to my existence by lowering our electricity bill through ingenuity-driven methods such as brownouts (no power, no problem, no pay).
Call it what one will, it is still the same thing: the benefits of being here rather than there. Here, life is worth living!
Okay, Linda, spell and grammar check what Ling-Ling has. An-day, you put it together and send it out via gmail. Raylene, file it for possible future use under “perks.”
Ah, it’s good to be (like a) king!
Manong Paul, you’re hilarious!
Hi Paul. I’ve got to find one of those sedan chairs myself, I think I have enough relatives to haul me around in it. But the jeepney dispatcher here in San Miguel usually lets me ride shotgun in the jeepney (I gave him a six pack of san migs one time) so that makes the ride a lot more comfortable.
As far as brownouts, and saving electricity, something is seriously wrong with our local power company, no brownouts in over a week, and we usually average at least three. (Watch my computer shut down now!)
Thanks for your great input, Paul. Always some good comments from you.
Ling-Ling, Linda, An-day (Raylene, you rest on this one):
Thanks to the innovative use of green, typhoon powered non-electrical generation, my electricity bill was P2,000+ less in October than that billed in September.
It’s great being a “big man” in the co-op!
Ladies – please process!
Hi Paul, I guess we are pretty lucky in little Guimaras, the bill before I arrived with Sainted Patient Wife was P250, and now P1000 for our total electric bill, but we don’t have an aircon yet. You sure have a lot of helpers, Paul!
Thanks again.
Guimaras mangoes or Zambales mangoes?
Hi, Dave, in Mexico, there is today a type of mango called Manga de Manila. It’s supposed to be the sweetest mango found anywhere. The Manga de Manila was, of course, brought to Mexico from the Philippines during the Galleon Trade between Manila and Acapulco (1565-1815).
This place where you live called Guimaras, is this the same place named after the Guimaras mangoes that are supposed to be the sweetest mangoes in the Philippines? I visited your Philippine website for the first time tonight (I didn’t know you have a website), but didn’t find any article dealing with Guimaras mangoes.
Zambales mangoes are frequently compared with Guimaras mangoes in quality and sweetness, but I’m wondering if Mexicos’ Manga de Manila came from Zambales, because I’ve read somewhere that some of the galleon ships were built in the town of what is now known as Palauig, one of the towns of Zambales, and where I am from.
Unless you can prove that the Manga de Manila came from Guimaras, I will hold on to the belief that it came from Zambales, is that fair?
I was reading about the Manga de Manila about a year ago. Truth is, it is not from the Philippines at all. It is only a marketing ploy by the Mexicans, because Philippine mangoes have a better reputation for sweetness than Mexican mangoes do, so they came out with a mango and called it “Manga de Manila.”
Thanks for the info, Bob. Pretty sneaky of them, after John’s comments, I discovered that the Guimaras mango has been served in the White House and Buckingham Palace. My father-in-law has got about 100 mango trees on his farm, and they are good.
I appreciate your input, Mindanao Bob.
Wow, Bob, that’s a mind-altering information if there ever was one. All these years, I have been telling people that the Manga de Manila was brought over to Mexico from the Philippines, just as I believed that the first Filipino settlement in America was established in Louisiana, where they were called Manila men. They were the descendants of Filipino sailors who jumped off the galleon ships in Acapulco and found their way to Louisiana. This is not disputed, but what is disputed by some historical sources is that there is a much earlier Filipino settlement in America than the one in Louisiana. I forget where it was. The Chinese also believe that they were in America long before Columbus discovered it, and have evidence to prove it. Thanks for this info, Bob. I’ll have to look this one up.
Hi John – If, in your research, you find that I am incorrect, please let me know. This is my understanding, though.
Hi John & Bob – The mighty mango is documented to have made its way to Mexico via two routes: The “Acapulco” route (arrival at Acapulco via galleon from the Philippines) and the “Vera Cruz” route (arrival at Vera Cruz via smaller vessels from the West Indies). Those arriving via the latter could trace their lineage back to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and then further back to India.
As far as the documents I’ve read reflecting the mango in North America go, Bob is probably closest to the origin of the “Manila Mango” or “Manga de Manila”: a gimmick devised to sell more fruits during a slow period.
More supprizingly, the variety often associated with the name “Manga de Manila” are of Portuguese sourcing (”manga” is Portuguese for mango) – meaning that their lineage is Indian, not Filipino.
(Someone stop me – I seem to have way too much free time on my hands as well as access to huge academic libraries world-wide.
)
Hi Dave,
You may not be a king but that was a princely story. Had me rolling on the floor laughing. Keep them coming.
By the way I’ve been trying to contact you through Bob Martin but have received no reply – can you email me sometime please. Thanks.
John of Austria, does your wife work for the United Nations in Vienna? Her name is Eliza Ablog.
Hello John Reyes. Sorry wrong on all counts – wife is retired and her name is Anikó.
Hi John in Austria, glad you liked the story. I think my funniest stuff is crap that just jumps into my head, and I start typing away. As my Sainted Patient Wife will attest, I am full of crap.
My email is davedewall@yahoo.com, feel free to email anytime, and thanks for the comment.
Hi Dave, I have forwarded two e-mails from John to you… did you not get them? Yahoo is notorious for sending my e-mails to the spam box, though…
No Big Guy, never did see them, but you are probably right, probably went to my spam, and the only spam I look at is what my sister-in-law is fixing me for dinner tonight along with some fried potatoes and Tang because I am a king (or think I am.) Had some delicious pancit at lunch for those who may wonder if I ever eat any Filipino food.
Be glad to reply to any emails John sends my way, Bob. Thanks!
Hi Pete, yeah, you were a smart man taking advantage of that reenlistment incentive. Me, I hooked with AT&T for 30 years bored to death, but it got me here in the Philippines.
Life is funny, isn’t it. If someone told me 20 years ago I would be married to a beautiful Filipina and living on the edge of a jungle in the Philippines, I would have told them they’re crazy. I’m glad that things have worked out for you, too.
Thanks again for the comment.
Hi John Reyes, yes, I live in the Guimaras known for their delicious sweet mangoes. You visited my rooster website, no, I don’t have anything on mangoes, but I will. That’s why I call myself a Bonehead, you’d think I would have some info about something which this island is known all the Philippines for. Sometimes when you are a king, you forget about such details.
No, I sure can’t prove that the Manga de Manila you speak of came from Guimaras,I’ll have to do some research, and make the Guimaras mango my topic for next week’s article here. Thanks for the article idea, John, and thanks for the comment.
Dave:
“We are kings” is a favorite phrase of mine, so I read your column with particular delight. I figure we are kings because technology has enabled us to enjoy more stuff than some of the most famous people in history. I am a music fan (Duke Ellington, Rolling Stones, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, you name it) and think that the average person today can enjoy more good music in his home than, say, Louis XIV of France (sometimes said to be the most powerful man who ever lived). Then we have the great books, the internet, and we can live in the Philippines, too. Kings we are.
Life must be improved for you with your new roof and bathroom. I remember, before we remodeled our house in Lapu Lapu City, the bathroom looked like an Abu Sayyaf holding cell.
You are lucky to be a Cardinals fan. I root for the Washington Nationals (at least we get all the number one draft picks). If the Nats can build themselves into a franchise that resembles the Cardinals, I will be a very happy camper.
Peter
Hi Senn and Peter: You are so right, and you must be a pretty smart guy to have married a Filipina, but you also are fans of two of my favorites, the Rolling Stones, and Johnny Cash. We do live like kings, don’t we?
Let me tell you, the new roof is tremendous, just love it. And the new CR, don’t get me started on that! Wonderful! Oh yeah, the old bathroom, ceiling falling down, big old spiders the size of a baby’s fist, terrible, hated it.
Good luck with the Nationals. The Cardinals have been around for years, and the St.Louis fans always supported them big time. Thanks again for the comments.
Love to hear it Dave, wiffy and I are plotting our eventual escape
to the RP….
Hi Brian, that’s great. I’m really not exaggerating too much, everybody waits on me hand and foot, even if I don’t want them, too, so I figure, why fight it. Thanks for the comment, like your picture!
Again, there was no reply button in your comment, Paul Keating, so I am replying here in response to your comment about Manga de Manila. My only comment to your comment that commented on my comment is this
: Dont stop. Keep going on your research and tell us about it. I’d rather be reading than researching. Hahaha
Hi John – The reason for no reply button is because conversations will only nest within limitations. As I recall, I have it set up to nest only 5 replies deep. If you go beyond that it just gets very confusing.
Ah, so. The replies will keep indenting to the right until it runs out of space. Thanks for the explanation, Bob. I’ve wondered about it.
Hi John & All – Don’t worry about me stopping! My OCD has me taking the roads to the wall at the bitter end, and then searching behind the wall!
Plenty of interesting things found in the research (e.g., there are two major “races” [not varieties] of mangoes and that races proliferate via seeds whereas varieties proliferate via grafting, cross-polination or other non-seed methods!).
Whoa! There I go again!
Oh, no, Paul K, do you get up several times in the middle of the night to check if the doors are locked or make sure the hangers in your closet are facing the same way? Hahaha
Baket ko (Asawa ko) [My wife] has the home security duty – that way we both can get some sleep! All hangers are “hooked in” with further subdivision of shirt openings to the right, pants’ fly openings to the left.
Hey Paul, you sound just like me, I know my OCD drives my wife crazy, but after almost 10 years of living with me she is getting used to it (I think.)
Thanks for sharing Dave. I really enjoyed your story. Having a couple maids around certainly makes a big difference.
Tell me, did you find constantly being around so many relatives and friends much of an adjustment? Do you ever wish you had a few minutes to yourself?
Hi David S.
Having the maids around does make a huge difference. It gives my Sainted Patient Wife time to work in her garden and gather cow poop from our subdivision road to put in the garden, and play with her favorite niece, Jalamiel, after she has washed her hands, of course.
You have struck a nerve! The most difficult thing that I am constantly trying to get adjusted to are all the relatives living here, and people dropping by unannounced. Back in Illinois we lived in a big house with a huge yard, and I had two hideouts, my computer room, and my Man Cave, my garage. We have no children of our own, but my wife had a small daycare with a maximum of three kids. Again, I had my Fortresses of Solitude, and the kids did leave later in the day, although I really miss the little ones.
I am constantly bombarded by noise, be it my mother-in-law, The Feared Giant Lizard Killer, who I just mentioned in one of my blogs is going deaf (God bless her), but finds it necessary to practically shout about 1/16th of an inch from my ear when she talks to me in a language I do not understand, however, she does this to everyone, but at least they understand her.
Then there’s my three old nephew Joriel. That says it all, right? Three. Boy. He’s a terror as he runs around screaming like a banshee. I fear the kid is screwed up in the head, but the rest of the family thinks that is normal behavior for a boy his age. Our daycare home had three little girls, and if you put all of their noise levels together it would be a whisper compared to the one boy wonder, Joriel. Of course, I’m 57 and grumpy and have forgotten what it was like to be a three old boy that also had two brothers. However, I am reasonably sure that my Dad would have beat the crap out of me if I would have carried on the way Joriel does.
Whew, sorry, to ramble, but as I said, you have struck a nerve. We plan to build a another home in a lot next to us, that will be just for my wife and I, and then I will have my own private computer room, and will even put on a garage even if we don’t have a car. A guy can always use a man cave. Thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for the comment. Looks like I have some adjusting to do, but I’ll make it. Oh, and the only few minutes I get to myself are in our new Comfort Room; I’ve just got to get some new magazines to read so I can stay longer!
Ha ha ha… I love this, Dave! This comment, in itself, would make a great blog post! Not because it is long, but because it portrays exactly how life is for an expat, when he first moves here! Hang in there, my friend!
Thanks Mindanao Bob, Yeah, my reply was kind of long, it was good therapy for me. I appeciate your input, and glad you liked my reply. Thanks for the support, I’ll make it, good to have friends like you and the rest of the LIP community that have been through this already.
Hey John see you are a Atalanta fan. Would like to know if you are in a Nudist coloney ha ha lol!