OK, I’ll reveal a bit of personal information about myself that most people don’t know: I’m claustrophobic.
Why? I have absolutely no idea.
It’s not so much about being locked in a closet or something similar. That really doesn’t bother me so much. In my job, I’ve had to climb around in confined spaces on ships, such as in a lazzarette, or a vent, or a funnel, or under a helm. My worst nightmare is the old standard ”buried alive” routine. I’ve told Rebecca that when I croak, burn me, feed me to the sharks, anything… But don’t put me underground. Illogical? Certainly. Will she do the traditional Filipino custom when I’m gone? (Above ground cement vault). Probably. I just don’t want to know about it, and if I’m really dead, then no problem.
What really makes me nervous is crowds.
Sounds weird for someone in sales who’s constantly around people, eh?
However, claustrophobic, I am, and I generally try and avoid situations where there are large crowds. I get panicky. I need air. Get me the **** outta here! All in my head? Most certainly. Illogical? You bet. Doesn’t matter.
Avoiding crowds is not always easy in the Philippines. A single trip to the mall will convince you that you will have to deal with crowds here. I’ve never seen a shopping center as crowded in the world, and I’m well-traveled and have seen many malls and markets in my time. Even if you live in the provinces, “away from the crowds”, a palengke on a Sunday afternoon in the smallest village will be crowded: Guaranteed. Traffic, congestion, people brushing against you. People trying to go to or from work. Slightly organized chaos.
Why is this the case? Well, a couple of guesses:
- The primary reason is that most Filipinos have a different concept of “personal space” than Americans or Europeans. They are used to living in cramped conditions, with large families, and very little privacy. It is not unusual to be in a restaurant and someone to simply sit down and share a table with you. Nor, is it unusual for people to press up against you while standing in a queue. People also tend to stand much closer together when speaking, rather than the meter or so that is common in the States.
- There is a significant amount of poverty in the country, and in some places, if you aren’t first in line, you don’t get whatever the line is for. This is a hard habit to break, and I see this in other developing countries.
- The country is crowded: Especially in Manila. There are 100 million + people crowded into an area smaller than the State of Texas (or Spain). The infrastructure struggles to keep up.
- Because the country is still developing, a new mall, restaurant, or highway generates a lot of interest. People are attracted by things that are new.
Trinoma Mall
So, this week we had to go to Tri-Noma and SM North, two large malls near the house. This week in the Philippines is traditionally very crowded: School starts soon, everyone just got paid, and they need supplies for their kids’ studies and new clothing. So….
Both malls were extremely crowded. During the busiest shopping day of the year in the United States, the day after Thanksgiving, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a shopping center so crowded. In each mall (Which are quite large), the number of people inside must have easily been in the thousands.
In the Philippines, malls are much more “one stop shops” than elsewhere. Most supermarkets are attached to malls in the cities. They even have post offices, bill payment centers: Almost any service you can think of. When someone has to go out here, the mall is the usual destination.
Malls in the Philippines are also notorious for holding major events in the Center or Atriums, with big stages, celebrity appearances, singing contests, TV shows, and even concerts or Fiesta activities: All of which draw major crowds, and which happen even on “slow” nights, like on a Tuesday.
So, this is the scene at SM North: Thousands of people, hot and muggy (The aircon can’t keep up with all that body heat), three-person cashier teams taking 5 minutes per one-item order, 100+ db of noise constantly….
Get me outta there!
About JohnM
LoL John, Its hard for me and I have no problem with clostrophobia. I think my problem is being touched or bumped constantly by people walking by, I hate that but Im a big guy so I have to be use to it, But I still hate it:/
Jack: Yep, it’s not really intentional, but just too many people in one place.
Hi John;
I can commiserate with you about the tight spaces and voids on ships. They are, closed in, damp and musty. Even though I’m not claustrophobic I avoided those spaces like the plague. I’m also not fond of crowds at malls, but my reason for that is you can’t accomplish anything, with that many people vying for the sales clerk’s attention at malls. I’ve found that there are a lot of “Space Invaders” here, and they feel that they must hold on to you while talking. If she’s hot, then I don’t mind, but otherwise…
Paul: Unfortunately, even living in the province as you do, you eventually just have to grit your teeth and go sometimes.
John..I am with you..I could not stand 2 seconds of what you just shared about being in that mall.I would go with out before stand in line with 100 people and 5 min per person at check out…I would do much better going to one of them small Fillipino stores even if all could get was a San Mig or Red Horse….
Oh! forgot.. allso could not stand it if was in line and as you said people like to be close and there were to many of them Fillipina’s 2 close to me!! Things would be hot enough with just the hot air and humidity let alone that!
Dan: I keep my eyes averted if you know what I mean.
John
Im not claustrophobic but I hear you on being in crowded areas. I pisses me off when people get in my own personal space, Im not a big of “close up” people either, you know the kind of people who get right up close and in your face when they talk to you, the kind of people that put their arm on your shoulder when they talk to you. They act like they are your long lost friggin relatives or something when they hardly know you.
Hi Neal – You better get used to people invading your personal space if you plan to live in the Philippines. Honestly, there really is no personal space here. I hate it too, but it’s something you have to live with.
Bob
I am sure I will have to do some MAJOR adjusting, because at times I can be rather inpatient and have been known to be quick tempered.
Neal: In part, it is cultural, but it really takes some getting used to… Bob is right, though. It is a part of living here, and you just have to accept it (Or go to the mall only when absolutely necessary, like I do)
I know what you mean John,
My wife and I went to Utah for our honeymoon. She couldn’t understand why all those people chose to live so far apart from each other, and not in a close community….”It’s so dangerous” she says. I explained to her that most Americans like isolation when it comes to living arrangements. I told he it wasn’t dangerous because most people in that part of the country are honest people, and know how to use a gun, and only a really dumb theif would try anything.
Hudson: I think that when we go to the States that is one thing that may mystify Rebecca… On the positive end, the sense of community is what is lacking in the States… Take the good with the bad.
John, it’s really more cultural than all this poverty or the population. Just a totally different mindset. To many Filipino visitors to Toronto, this is one lonely place even in the summer. I think Filipinos as a rule can’t be alone or by themselves. Batanes is the only place I’ve seen so far in the country that doesn’t go with the flow. Alex
Alex: I would agree with you about Batanes… On our honeymoon, Rebecca thought it could have been a different country.
with you on the crowds John, not my cup of Tanduay either albiet you suffer far worse than I.
Got a chuckle outta the ‘eating at a table’ and have a stranger sit across from ya, had it happen a few times…i like to test myself and step out of my western bounds and challenge myself to make conversation.., I recall once the guy just kept eating and staring at me with a weak smile between bite’s…made for a short lunch if you know what I mean. How do u handle flying???
Brian: For some reason, flying and airplanes don’t bother me… except the mad rush to get off the plane. In places like India and China, the scene can border on ridiculous (Here too, BTW)
I struggle with this too. I’m a flexible person, but the population here kind of frustrates me sometimes. Like, one mall here, sometimes I have to stand 2 minutes away from the stairs because a big mass is taking up all the room and moving down. No physical way to walk up. Student travel in groups too, so it is hard to even walk past people sometimes, esp. if they walk slow or stand there talking.
One huge thing that has really bothered me is that I have to wait till 1pm to eat. I eat at places, cheap places, in walking distance and such. Ateneo is in the area though, and, around 10am-1pm, Ateneo students crowd every nearby place. And even the foodcourt in the mall (as well as several places to eat) have no more seats, so, I am hindered from eating. So, I just find ways to adjust and repress my frustration.
Jawz: I can understand that near a Uni… Everyone lets out for lunch all at once. Eventually, you’ll find a few places that are less crowded.
I think, eventually, I’ll be fitting INTO the crowd instead of going another way.
I’m just awaiting the day to shock people to see a white dude wearing Ateneo dress code (<dress pants will be a pain though), have my own friend group (<Hopefully even if I'm loner-ish in nature), and speaking Bisaya (<I wanna learn it!)
Jawz: That will be interesting to see… Though you will probably make lots of friends that way.
I have run into that situation also in the Davao SM…I then knew what a Salmon swimming upstream feels like…lol
Hudson: Even worse is when a group stops in front of the escalator or has a chit chat at the exit!
Hi John, I’m a little more of the traditional claustraphobic, lol. Confined spaces make me hyperventilate. Elevators, small windowless rooms, bilges, void spaces even those Embraer commuter jets but you know a crowded mall never bothered me as long as the celing was high and there was a feeling of open air above me. Weird, huh? Everybodies got something that bugs him, hehe.
Mark: It really is strange how it manifests in different ways in different people. Maybe what I have is more a fear of crowds than claustrophobia (Though I couldn’t even watch the commercial for that episode of CSI where he’s buried alive.)
Sad to say, I grew up a mall rat – malls are one of the things I love about the Philippines (lol). A town the size of Gensan has three, and a fourth when they build the SM. Metro Manila has some pretty incredible malls.
Gary: At least the two malls I mentioned have large outdoor gardens and eating areas where I can duck if things get too crowded.
John,
I hear you about being claustrpphobic. Being a Boiler tech in the navy I’ve been in many tight places Mud drums,steam drums, voids you get the picture and i’m not a small person.
Sometimes it was so tight I thought I might not get out or they will hafe to grease the side real good. It an’t nothing like the feeling of being reborn popping out of that little muddrum hole.
(Bad Joke I know).
About malls hate the crowds and standing in line. Thats why I go to Wally-World at 3am.
But if I must go I follow three rules 1. Convince the the wife that it would be more fun if she went with her girlfriends. 2. Bug the hell out of her and agree the everything looks nice on her so she’ll take me home and then go back out. 3. When all else fails get a large cup of coffee and find a place to sit and watch the pretty girls OOPS! I meant the people walk by until my wife is done shopping. I can deal with crowds if I have to but would rather not.
B. Michels: I’ve camped out in Starbucks more than once!
Hi John – You know I agree with you about going to malls. If you forgot, then look here:
http://liveinthephilippines.com/content/2010/02/new-mall-you-say/
Even a small mall is enough mall to keep this Paul outta da mall!
Paul: Yep, even up North, in the much smaller malls, they are extremely crowded… In Laoag, I think it is worse since it is the only mall for 150 km. (In Abulug we go to Tuguegarao, which is 120km away… Sometimes that is the only place to get what you need.)
John we share the same problem. Mine I think is from an experience I had as a toddler. The streets were torn up in front of my house and being a small boy I had to crawl into whatever was there. I got stuck in a drain pipe under the street. My arms got a head of my body and I could not move. I remember being terrified and there for quite some time. They had to dig down to the pipe and break me out. Since then small spaces and me are a no go. More the flow of air over me than anything. I credit that experience with my satisfaction of sitting in the middle of open ground with very little around me. Still can’t sleep in a sleeping bag and I am 57 years old. I guess it will be there for the rest of my life. Ron
Ron: Stuck in a pipe would give me nightmares too!
Thanks for sharing John. I’m curious are there times of the day and days of the week when the malls aren’t as crowded or are they packed all the time?
David: I’ve found that when they first open (normally 10 AM) until lunch is the best time. Holidays are the worst, along with new school semester starting times. Supermarkets are usually best during early afternoon, for some reason. Palengkes are normally always crowded.
My first experience with “crushing throngs” came when I took the ferry from Manila to Davao, on my first trip to The RP. Nothing like a few hundred people all trying to board a boat at the same time! Quite a feeling of lack of control when the crush of the crowd controls your movements, rather than your own legs! Still, I’ve made my living in the bowels of ships, barges, etc., so I figure that I’m ok if alone. As long as I avoid large parties, malls & churches – as I tell my wife – I am fine!
Mike: I think you really hit on the reason: You are really not in control, and not much you can do about it. Of note, there have been may instances of people being crushed to death by crowds in the RP.
My first experience many moons ago with claustrophobia began at a rock concert. I recall being in a massive crowd of people waiting to get through the gates. Being only 5’4” the average Aussie towers over me and when the gates opened there was a huge surge forward. I found myself being “massaged” through the gate without actually even walking. I remember it was a slow crushing feeling, like someone tightening their hands around your throat and your lungs feel that they want to burst. To cap it off, there was a lack of air at my height level which resulted in the wildest panic attack I ever had. Luckily the gates were nearby and I made it through alive.
Strangely enough, sitting next to a massssively overweight person on a cramped plane didn’t bother me, what did annoy me was when the captain of Cebu Pacific airline said in muffled tones that they lost their navigational systems and had to refuel and turn back to Manila .
Being stuck in an elevator for three hours during a frigging brown out was also no problem, what did annoy the hell out of me was the emergency bell didn’t work.
Or being in the tourist class on a Pino superferry without aircon is no problem either.
A mall is no problem for me either but when I’m in my 5metre x 5metre bedroom and my daughters come in and their bullilit friends and my mother in law and her sisters and her 6 daughters and three sons and their children I find I am unable to breathe and feel i am going to pass out. No big deal for them, but give me some SPACE lol.
Boss: The crowds are why nI haven’t gone to a concert in years… Perhaps chemical courage made it easier in my youth? Not sure, but I stay away nowadays.
Boss: The crowds are why nI haven’t gone to a concert in years… Perhaps chemical courage made it easier in my youth? Not sure, but I stay away nowadays.
Hi, John!
You should really try going to the big malls on sale season like on the 30th of April or May. haha! (Just kidding of course!)
JR: I avoid it at Christmas, if at all possible, and the week before and after Holy Week. Not always possible, though.