Over the past few days, the discussion here on the LiP Blog has really turned toward Filipino time, patience, and adjustment to the Filipino way of handling our lives. I said in comments and in my posts over the last couple of days that it is my goal to learn how to be more patient, give up on strict scheduling, and generally live a more stress free life because of these changes. Yesterday, I decided to make a first step on the effort.
As you all know, I’ve lived in the Philippines for over 7 years now. In that time, I have only gone grocery shopping maybe 2 or 3 times. It didn’t take long for me to realize that grocery shopping was quite stressful for me here, and I simply did not have the patience needed for it. The lines are long. The cashiers are slow. It just never was for me. When I went grocery shopping, I would get aggrevated, angry…. generally just downright mad! For my own well being, and for the sanity of Feyma, I decided not to ever go grocery shopping again. I just let her handle it.
Well, as part of my stated goal of gaining more patience and understanding, I decided to go the grocery store yesterday. I went alone, just to see if I could do it without getting bent out of shape. I went to SM Grocery Store here in Davao. I decided to shop for fruits there. I went to the produce area, and found lots of fruits there that I had honestly never seen before. I picked up some Longon, Golden Dragon Fruit, Lychee, Ponkan (Mandarin Oranges), Lemons and Granny Smith Apples. I was wanting to buy some Guyabano Fruit that I saw there. I didn’t know how to choose a good Guyabano, though, so I asked the clerk to help me. He looked over the fruit, and told me that it was not yet ripe, and would be ready in about two days. I chose not to buy any.
When I went to the checkout to pay, there were many people waiting in line at all the lanes. I finally found one lane that had only two customers ahead of me, so I got in line. The cashier was indeed slow, as I remembered from my previous shopping experiences, but I was OK! I guess it took about 15 minutes before it was my turn to checkout. I stood there waiting patiently, just watching the other customers, and seeing the different items that others were buying. I actually found it entertaining to watch to see what others were buying, because it was a new cultural experience for me. Even though I’ve been living here for some time, I had not been shopping much, so I didn’t take that part of the culture in.
After I finished paying for my purchase, I wished the checkout girl a good afternoon, and went on my way! I felt good. I made it through the shopping experience without blowing my top. I didn’t yell at anybody. I actually had a good time!
Maybe I can make the adjustment to being patient and appreciate life a little more!
Congrats on your experience, Bob. I agree that the shopping expereince can be tiring but frankly I love going to Hypermart, it would take me years to fin dout about all the snack foods, fruits (no Durian, please) and the kind sof fish I never saw before. I also prefer breast meat to any other part of the chicken and here in the Philippines that's the part that's cheapest.
I'm not sure where you were shopping seven years ago, but supermarkets where we lived have gone downhill fast in the past 7 years … I find the service in Hypermart at least as fast as the commercial supermarkets in Colorado Springs last year, although nowhere near as good as our beloved military commissary … about the only thing I miss from the USA.
Hi Dave – Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately, the workers in the grocery stores here are very slow. But, that's the way it is, and it's something that must be accepted.
Thanks for the good laugh Bob. As I may have told you I am a grocery cashier by trade at Albertsons. From the fist time I went to the pi fourteen years ago I always go to all the grocery stores. I love it and the fun of the hunt. Some times it is the first place we go after taking a shower at my inlaws. My mother in law and wife get a cart and I get my own and we go to it. We usually fill up three carts by the time we finish. Pity the poor locals who get behind us at the checkout. If I see and new food store or a new item I have to stop and take a look. The wet market was the hardest for me to get used to–when the guy would throw the meat on the rusty scale and than hand us the wet change. They always pull out the bigest fish or ture to show us and try for the big money. Haha.The bigest suprise to them is when I tell them I don't eat fish or seafood. (true story) I do buy it for my wife and her family. I do get a better price after I tell them the facts of my eating habits.haha
Bob, talking about Filipino time, generally I don't think I will have any problem with supermarkets etc as I don't get concerned about much that I have no control over. But hopefully there are different situations where punctionality will be considered important, I realise meeting up with friends etc is always negotionable, anything between 5-30 mins late is acceptable. But where it will affect me most is when I am coaching sports, punctionality is a must, there has to be a warm up and a flow of actions afterwards, stretching etc so I couldn’t have people wandering in whenever they feel like it.
Do you foresee me having problems ?
Gerry
Bob,
First time I visited the Philippines I went to the market at Agoo (North Luzon). My wife took me to the supermarket there….I thought we'd entered the storeroom through the back door! The place was stacked with produce with no room to move in the aisles. I was not in a rush so I made myself useful retrieving items from the top shelves for anyone who couldn't reach. The whole experience put a smile on my face…hey I'm still talking about 2 years later.
See I'm just the opposite and I love grocery shopping here, yeah the lines can be slow but usually my fiancee and I will look through the latest celebrity magazine to pass the time. I've only been here 6 months but I am still finding new things to captivate my interest every time I go out.
Bob,
I agree about the markets there. The thing I diliked was how people just constantly cut you off in the isles. I remember the day before Christmas, there were about 20 people on each line. I am clostrophobic in crowds, but I would watch the other people, get little kids to smile over their shyness and would start conversations with others in line. That made the wait fun.
Hi Bob,
Congratulations! 🙂 When I go to the supermarket, in the US or Phil, I scope out the cashier lines and choose the shortest with the least items to scan.
I remember shopping at SM one time, after waiting in line for so long, I got so frustrated when the cashier handed me a fistful of coins for change. Since I wasn't familiar with the coinage, I thought she didn't give me the right change and started arguing with her. She, and everyone else in line, looked at me like I had three heads. I walked away in a huff. When I met up with my family at the coffee shop, we went thru the change and I realized that she did give me the right change! Oh well, so I looked like a fool – that's okay, I don't live here permanently. They'll just remember that weird woman who couldn't count change. 😉
FYI, SM offers a Premier card to frequent customers. This entitles you to get on a special express lane with VIP service! I found this out the last time I was there. So, things are improving! 🙂
When we lived in Butuan, the only stores in town were dimly lit, stifing hot, and had ailse so narrow you could almost not get your square wheeled cart down them. Then there were the shelf stockers, squatting in the aisles with their little stacks of sardine cans, sloooowly and carefully polishing each one before placing it on the shelf. One learned what hours not to get in line with ice cream… everything in the store stopped for the Rosary three times a day.
Oh, things are SO much better! At SM, they even have a senior citizens lane for check out, so think twice before dying your hair!
LOL….I'll bet you have a melt down by your 3rd trip !!!
now for the REAL test Bob……the BANK !!!!
Hi Bob, thanks for making my day today, I was having a pretty bad day until i read your peice about shopping, and the joys of waiting in line in a Filipino supermarket, actually, when I read your peice I was idling away in Londons Victoria station of all places, I think people must have wondered what was making me laugh (since I was reading it on my IPAQ). yes I have stood in those SM Queues at the food outlet, waiting in line to pay for my Cokes, Kit Kats, Oiishi, bottled water, mangoes and other snacks I get when I am in the store, why is that you always end up joining the slow line, and then there is this young filipina who moves about as fast as a hedgehog, have they not heard the phrase "Time is money" I dont think so, I dont think so ! its enough to make your blood boil, relax dude, is the Philippines ! hahahahaha, thanks Bob, you cheered me up !±
Hi Don – I didn't know you worked for Albertsons! I bet that you have a field day when you come here and watch how the grocery stores work here! Not quite the same, I would imagine!
Hi Gerry – Yep, you will experience some problems! It will just be one more challenge to overcome. Honestly, if a game is scheduled to start at 1pm, the people may not even show up until 3pm. That's just the way it works.
Hi Laurence – Maybe they will hire you as the guy to get stuff off the top shelf! Ha ha… I can just see you doing that!
Hi Louis – Now, I also enjoy the aspect of seeing new things and such. I find that very interesting too.
Hi Bruce – I have my faults, and I admit that, but I do have to say that one of the faults of many people here is that they indeed cut in line. I don't like that either.
Hi Tina – I had an almost identical situation once where the cashier handed me a bunch of coins and I got confused, thinking that she owed me more change! It was so embarrassing!
Hi AmericanLola – I've been in stores like that too. Sometimes it almost seems like those stocker guys squatting down in the aisles honestly wish that you would get out of THEIR way! I don't think they understand that without you, they would have no job!
Hi Brian – Hmm… the bank? Do I have to?
Hi Pete – Glad to be of service! I can see you on the transit system there laughing away, and everybody looking at you like you are a crazy man!
patiently….waiting for your Patience Therepy Step II Report: Bob goes to the Bank !
Hi Brian – Oh boy… it seems like a lot of you guys are wanting me to go back to the bank again! Whew! I'm not sure I am up to it! 🙂