Yes its been a couple of weeks now since Bob and I celebrated our 20th Wedding Anniversary.
It’s been a good challenge for both of us to stay together. It’s not been an easy ride the whole time. We had so many trials along the way. As everyone know its not going to be easy to be together with somebody that everything is so different. Hey can you imagine bringing 2 different culture into one? Big challenge there.
When we first got married I was in my early twenties and so naive with everything in life. When I arrived in the States everything is so new to me. For the first time I was introduced by Bob to a microwave, a big washing machine, a big grocery store that my eyes almost popped out just by looking at the aisles of chocolates, cheese, meat thats neatly put in a Styrofoam and wrapped in a cling wrap, and any spices you want they have it, different kinds of rice (the long grain, fat kind, brown rice, the black) I’ve seen, hey we don’t have that in our farm you know. 😉
Trying a lot of food in the States sometimes was a bit of challenge for me. I never like the Mexican food. It gives heartburn and I don’t like the after taste. I felt it stayed in my mouth for a long time. It just doesn’t appeal to me. The hardest for me at first there when I first tasted the meat. It tasted gamy to me. I never thought I could eat meat there again. I really thought I was going to be a vegetarian there (Ha ha ha far from my mind though). Luckily I got used to the meat later.
It took sometime for me to adjust. Luckily I did it with Bob and his parents help. Before living there I never knew how to cook. Even just a simple Filipino dish I just didn’t know that much. I learned to cook Filipino dishes from my friend when we got together for a party before. She showed me some recipes of hers and I followed it. I just didn’t cook so much Filipino food because its just myself eating it. I almost didn’t have the desire to eat dried fish anymore, until we had an exchange student that likes to eat it once in awhile. Chris never liked Filipino foods before. Aaron ate some Filipino dish in the States before. Jared being just a month old when we moved here really eats a lot of the Filipino dish, I think influence from my family and Jean Jean.
Bob really helped me out a lot there with regards to my adjustments. He also helped me a lot on my communication skills. I was really shy before. I don’t like to hang out with other people. I went to my friends house sometimes. Living here now, he is still learning to eat some Filipino foods. But he is better than me, he already tasted the soup #5. For me I will never want to taste that food ever. He is thinking of tasting the balut too. I will never eat that too. Chris now likes to eat Filipino dishes. Aaron likes the American dishes. Even the fruits he just likes apple, grapes, mango and watermelon.
I’m really happy that Bob is learning the language here. Its so beneficial to him. It really makes his life better in the long run. He has no desire to go back to the States. So it is good for him to know the language here.
We still have a long ways to go. I’m pretty sure a lot of you here have been married longer than Bob and I. Happy to hear your stories too.
Cheers!
Feyma
I like reading your article, it reminds me of how naive my wife was to american ways when she first came to the US in 85.
Funny story when she first got here she didn’t eat rice for 3 days. I found her crying in our bedroom and I asked her what was wrong, she cried to me
“I want to eat rice” of course next day we went in search of the local asian food store. Now we never run out of rice NEVER!!
Me and my wife just celebrated our 25th anniversary and it has been a great life with her so far.
Hi Neal – I wanted to reply to your comment… hope Feyma doesn’t mind. When Feyma first came to the States, we had a similar rice experience. I knew that Feyma would want and need rice, so before her arrival I went and bought some. Not being a rice eater, I really knew nothing about rice. I went to the supermarket and bought some “Minute Rice” thinking that I would have her needs covered with that. She, of course, did not like it, but didn’t really say anything. Later, my Mom saw that I had gotten Minute Rice for her, and she saved the day by getting some “real rice” for Feyma. Ha ha….. I did my best! 😯
Bob
Hey I I tried that as a first attempt, I think it was that uncle bens crap. The wife did not like it at all. Like you before my wife came around I was not exposed to the real rice. Now we buy the miligrosa buy the caban and my wife calls me a rice head.
I remember the first time I took her to the market and we bought chicken thighs she freaked out about how big the chicken was here in the US .
I could go on and on with these precious memories.
Go on with such precious memories, Neal, we’re all ears. Precious memories are stuff that make us love our wives more. Don’t wait until it’s too late to relieve those beautiful memories.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuNZapJGxPM&feature=search
Hi, Neal:
Go on with such precious memories, Neal, we’re all ears. Precious memories are stuff that make us love our wives more. Don’t wait until it’s too late to relieve those beautiful memories.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuNZapJGxPM&feature=search
OK John u asked for it
OK so when my wife first came here to RI I worked at the State Prison so I had a few guns around the house and I taught my wife how to shoot.
While I am working the nightshift someone broke down in front of our apartment and 2 guys came to the door knocking and asked my wife to use the telephone,with the outer door locked she opened the door She told them NO
5 minutes later they came back knocking again, she shut told them wait a minute and then she shut the door. She then came back to the door and had my fully loaded 357 magnum in her hand pointed it at them and told them to go away or I will shoot you in the head.
Hahaha, Neal. I suppose you can say that the 357 Magnum is the best cultural leveler of the last resort when “no” is fatally mistaken for “yes”. If you don’ t get the message with the barrel of a 357 pointed at your face, I don’t know what will.
Hi Neal in RI – Yes that the Uncles Bens Minute rice in a red box.
I’m just like your wife, lots of new things that shocked me when I first got there. As if everything really is new to me.
But the 357 magnum really is the shocker to me. I’m impressed she knows how to used it. Hey, can’t beat that. 🙂
You guys take care!
Yes, Mom bought better rice than the minute rice that you bought. But within a few months we found the Milagrosa brand and its good. We had the milagrosa right until we moved here.
Hi Neal in RI – Ha ha ha… It just show you that we can’t lived without our rice. We have to have it.
If you just saw my face when I saw the minute rice for the first time? It was not funny then but looking back now it’s really priceless. 😉 We laughed it off now.
But really within just less than a week when I first got to the States we already know a lot of the Asian stores around the Vancouver, WA and the Portland Area. It was fun looking around.
Congratulations to you and your wife on your 25th year of marriage.
Take care!
I have sent this article to Zyra:)
Hi BuckeyeBob – Thank you and good luck to you guys.
Take care!
Yes, my woman is the same as you were Feyma. But she never went to the USA yet. But I see the changes in her that she has learned from living with me. I am from the USA. She is a rice eater plain and simple, and when I say plain, I mean plain white rice.. As for me I want the onions, garlic and some meat and soy sauce in it. Sometimes we buy bar b q and it has a sauce that comes with it so there is no need to add ingrediants to the rice, as the sauce ,I like it with the plain rice. But the one big thing I have noticed in the 3 years we have been together is her confidence, its so much better, she was very shy at first, but being with me, she has become more of a woman. The real woman she is, has come forward, and for the good. Last night she tasted Mug Root Beer… needless to say she made a awful face tasting it. She does not like alot of american food, but I made her some Italian Breaded Steak. and she loved it!! Heheheh .. Like with me its hit and miss with the foods for both of us.. Ok, Take Care, Good Luck and God Blesss
Hi lenny2000 – Your wife will catch up easy now by being with and by watching TV, and on the net she will get a lot of information about living abroad. She will have more and more confidence being with you a lot.
She will soon learn to eat the garlic rice and the fried rice. Especially with a lot of restaurant spreading all over the Philippines. Good thing she’s not a fan of root beer its getting to be expensive now. 😉
Good to see you here. Take care!
When my husband and I started dating/married, it was a big adjustment also. I’m on the other side of the coin. I’m white american and he is a filipino. I’ve always like knowing about other culture’s, foods, etc. before we met. I’ve even learned early in our marriage to cook filipino foods, which I enjoy eating. My first trip to the Philippines was in 1995 and planning to go there in Oct. 2010 for vacation for one month. Our plans for our retirement is to move there in Feb. 2012. Can’t wait til that time comes. So excited.
Hi Tina Ebidag – Good to hear from you. Welcome to our site. What Filipino dish do you like the most?
Have fun on your trip here in the Philippines next month.
Good to see you here. Take care!
lol my friend and family would ask us out to eat here when joy was here at home in 2009 and then she would go home and eat rice andi ask her why would u wont to eat rice after just eating a big dinner and she would tell me if i dont eat some rice i feel like i never have eaten at all and i feel the same iff i dont eat vegs when i am in the phill lol all the best mate keep up the good work
from peter martin
Hi peterjoy – Ha ha ha… Got the have the rice mate, can’t live without. 🙂
Thank you for stopping by.
Take care!
I like your article Feyma,it seems like all Fippina women are the same as far as eating goes,my wife is a big rice eater also,just plain rice.As for me i eat mine with some soya sauce and i like pork and soyote as a topping,its hard for both of us to adjust to each other with our eating habits i just now got her to eat some vegetables .Seems like a day without rice is like a day without sunshine.Wow as far as beef goes i cant seem to get used it, like the states ,to me beef here has the wild taste,compared to western fed beef…So i guess we both have to give and take …God Bless…
Hi maynard – Thank you. I’m pretty sure she like garlic rice especially during breakfast time? She will like the stuff your eating soon. I hope. 😉
I can understand your taste here for meat. That’s the way I felt when I first came to the States. All meat taste gamy to me. Ketchup was my friend. I used it on every meat that I ate there. It took me months to get used to.
Have fun eating here in the Philippines. 😉
Take care!
when my wife Jean arrived in England 5 years ago , i thought i was a big rice eater, twice a week. how naive was i. i cooked it my way,, using idian basmati rice. Jean politely told me she thought it under cooked so we now eat thai sticky rice cooked her way, more than twice weekly
ggod luck on the next 20 years
Could it be that they like sticky rice because it their culture to eat with their fingers? And now sticky rice fall all over the place…but a good bowl or plate of sticky rice…it stick right to your fingers and get to your mouth..I am just wondering .
non sticky rice
Hi Dan – I don’t really know the story behind it.
Take care!
Hi Paul – Welcome to our world. 😉
Cheers!
I know it took me awhile to get used to cooking rice all the time for my husband. I even got him to eat brown rice now, it’s so suppose to be healthier.
Hi Tina – Do you eat rice everyday now?
I’ve heard of it too that the brown rice is better and healthier. I will try to cook it again.
Good to see you here again.
Take care!
Hi Feyma. Your article reminded me of my first few months in US way back in the 1960’s. I still remember that I have hunger pangs for rice. Bread, potatoes or pasta can not satisfy my stomach accustomed to the rice. After a few months of not eating rice every day ( I was staying in the university dormitory-so all the food in the cafeteria are all American Food), my stomach finally adjusted. Cheers and Have a Good Day!
Hi David – Wow, you’ve been in the States that long? It must really be a big shocked for you. Not much Asian food in America at that time I’m sure. I’ve heard that most people can adjust in 2 weeks time. For me with the meat in the States before it took me months to get used to it though.
Thank you for stopping here again.
Take care!
Feyma,,
Thanks for the article. My wife and I have also been married for twenty years. We have lived in Houston Texas for the whole time, though since my retirement last year we have been living in Baybay Leyte. We had similar cultural experiences.
When Jojo first came to the US we took a trip from Houston to visit my parents in Waco TX. When we started the trip I bought each of us a hamburger. About an hour into the trip Jojo said”when do we eat”? I, surprised, said” but we’ve already eaten”. But, of course to my darling bride, this hamburger was only a snack, as there was no rice. So I learned a valuable cultural lesson. LOL. I bought a rice cooker and we’ve lived happily ever after. Actually Jojo now doesn’t mind eating a meal without rice and has even shifted to brown rice because of the health benefits.
Thank again for all the enlightenment and entertainment you and Bob provide us with this magazine.
Hi richard wilson – Ha ha ha, I had same feelings before. I’m also like her now, I am fine eating meals without rice.
Welcome to the Philippines. I’m glad your now living in Leyte. Have fun learning our culture.
Take care!
My wife came to the US with me for the first time in 1973. We were narried in Olongapol in Sept. 1972 (almost 38 years ago). We arrived in Fort Wayne, Indiana in April 1973, and it was still cool with a late spring starting. The grass was brown and the trees baren from the winter. Nothing had started to green-up yet. I didn’t comment about it to her, and she was embarassed to say anything to me, so she wrote to her mom. This is beautiful America? Why do they have all the dead trees standing around? Her mom took the letter to her missionary priest in Gamu, Isabela and he explained it to her. We all had good laughs about it, later, and sometimes still remember it. Similar with first snow experience, etc.
“Could it be that they like sticky rice because it their culture to eat with their fingers?”
Hi, Dan:
Not a biggie, but would’nt it sound nicer to us Filipinos if you say, “Could it be that Filipinos like sticky rice…” instead of saying, “Could it be that THEY like sticky rice…”?
Thanks.
Hi Feyma,
My first wife was Chinese and it was cultural differences that drove us apart. We have a boy together and he is my pride and joy. She and I do our best to take care of him and get along when needed, lol. My fiance is Filipina as you know and the culture while still different is closer than the Chinese! I was raised in an Italian-American household so many of the traditions are the same: Christmas, Easter, big family gatherings. The ex- never understood the importance of my religous holidays. As far as the food goes I’m surprised you don’t like Mexican food as I find a lot of the food to be similar, even down to the name. I bet you were only treated to Taco Bell, lol, not very good Mexican food I’m afraid! If you had traditional Mexican food you would of had adobo, chorizo (like longanisa but not as sweet) and plenty of rice! My Filipina and I will be married soon and I will bring her to the U.S. as it is her desire to go there. In the future I will retire to the Philippines though. I can’t wait to show her life in the U.S. to experience some of the things you have described, but I look forward to getting back to my little piece of Paradise when the time comes!
Mark G.
Hi Mark G. – I’m glad you found the right girl for you now. I think the Italians and Filipino cultures have some similarity. The big family gatherings almost every week with lots of food of course.
Bob knows how to cook Mexican food. It’s not really one of my favorite food in the world. I like a lot of the American dish that Bob and I prepared in the States before.
Good luck to you and your fiancé.
Nice to see you here!
Hi feyma i liked your story my wife has only been here for two years now but your words made me laugh at some of the things she has said and done in that time ,i think that her and a lot of philipinos here favorite pastime is op shopping she comes home with some graet bargains and always has a box iether forex or lbc and is filling it with things to send home from her trips to the second hand stores it is always good to here your stories being the other half when my wife first cooked dried fish i had to go outside it was so strong and i wasnt used to it she got very upset over this and made me realize that she come alll this way and leave all her family for me ,big sacrifice i think not many women prepared to do that she is well adjusted now and has lots of filipino and australian friends but i know she still misses home as we all would i hope we can go back next year maybe year after so she doesnt lose touch with her culture , all the best
chris
Hi chris – Thats the one that make it more fun. The learning and the acceptance of another culture.
Thank you also for sharing your good story and your experiences.
Good to see you here.
Take care!
We got married in 1984 and my wife Conny came to the Netherlands 1986 .
In the beginn i make food for her , rice and noodles , later she eat the Dutch food .
I go to the super market and she does the bargain shopping for shoes and clothing.
Now , she say to me i want to eat boiled patato,s and vegetable , and we eat that .
I teached her how to make it , and now she works in a kitchen [ cook ]
But i like the Asian stuff better.
In our house , she makes the noodle soup and Humba ,
and i make fried rice and Bu-la-lu
Being a chef , i like simple food .
My mouth waters , because when i write this i think oof our holidays in iligan Febr.2011
than i eat at the street-side and the Lechon , and of course San Miguel.
I had S.M. during our holiday,s in Spain last year ,
but the Philippine one is better on tast and on price.
And my wife . she likes the [ sweet ] German white wine .
Gr. Anton
Hi Anton Zanders – Wow, you guys been married for a long time. Good for you. I guess being married that long you already used to Filipino food. I mean not all but lots already. I like humba and bulalo. I’m surprised you like those stuff.
Have a good vacation in February. Will drink San Mig for you before your vacation. 😉
Good to see you here again.
Take care!
Hi Feyma, Well my wife was a bit similiar as far as the rice goes. she has to have it at each meal, she does not really like going a meal without any, she says that any meal without rice does not satisfy her. at first i was not sure what rice to buy either, i just went for the cheapest which was usually calrose rice from california, but it did not cook or stay fresh like the rice she likes. so finally i buy the thai jasmine or miligrosa rice. she adjusted very well here in america, she is from davao and she was used to the supermarket there in gaisano and sm mall’s so the stores here did not suprise her, and she loves the bargain shopping second hand store like goodwill and salvation army. she is getting ready to go home for a month to visit family. I like some of the filipino foods my wife is the same she does not like mexican food. and she will eat alot of american food but it has to have rice, she wishes that when we go to fast food places they served rice like back home.
Congrats Bob and Feyma on your 20th anniversary. I pray that God will continue to bless you in your marriage, health, finances and in everything that you do. More power to your business.
Feyma, my wife is now here in hawaii for 5 years and she is still adjusting and miss Davao a lot. We hope to move back someday but we are only in or early 30 so we still need to work and save money to reach our goals.
hi ,is interesting reading the experiences ,you all have had,First time i meet my partner ,i flew from New Zealand to Manila ,and arranged for her to fly from Cebu ,this was a first time experience for her ,even as a well educated secendry teacher ,she had had very little experience outside her own community .she told me later so was worried about her bag and where it had gone after checkin ,and would she get it back,when i meet her at the airport ,she was late naturly ,seens philippino time is very different ,we booked into Heritage hotel ,nothing like shown in travel pictures ,in reality about 3 star rating ,anyway i had shower and said to TESS better have shower to ,never thinking she had never used this type shower ,only the bucket type ,she went into bathroom and after about five minutes the floor was about 3 inchs deep in water ,she had not put shower curtain inside to allow water to drain into shower cabnet ,over the 5 years we have been together ,i have taught her to use washing machine ,micro wave ,all other appliances we take for granted she now has her own car and can drive anywhere ,it is fun and lots laughs some of the experiences shared ,even the first time she went into a bank ,this was very stressful ,she had never had a bank account in her life ,we take all this for granted ,and it to the credit of the girls that they can adjust .life is just so different in western countries ,one thing i cant get used to is the food called smelly fish ,wow is it smelly ha ha i have bought small portable cooker ,and it cooked outside ,philippinos love this ,we have 2 kids from Tess 1st marriage and they love philippino food but now mainly eat european kiwi dishs ,it not allways easy the ethnic differences ,but in the main with patience from both ,we have a good life ,we hope to return to Cebu and live within the next 2 years ,i enjoy life there ,the colour and vitality .is nice to read about BOB AND FAMILY all the best for the next 20 YEARS
a very good posting i must say happy happy 20 year to u and bob wow here we are just 7 yet and ye su must get bob to eat balut too as i eat it every time i am home in the phill and love it but there there is one i will not eat andi do not know the phill name for it mate but it is made out off blood i think u know the one i meen tha ti one filpp food i will never eat no way…….peter martin tassie
I know this article is 4 years old, but I really enjoyed it.
I remember when my wife came to the USA it was a big adjustment. We have Philippine friends in place some of who visited us in the Philippines when we were waiting for my wife’s spousal visa to come through. But coming here was a big change.
I remember after we got home and we were still on Philippine time. Laying down to sleep while it was still daytime in a white painted bedroom. My wife said, “honey I can’t sleep…. it is too quiet” I guess no roosters crowing or traffic going by and people singing Karaoke made for a pretty intense adjustment.
Later on that day she got her first phone conversation online with her family. Her 2 year old little sister was pretty concerned about my wife. She asked “Do you have Pork there?” my wife responded “Yes we have a lot of pork here” then her sister was OK.
I guess it is the little things that matter.