Having a teenagers in our household made me think a lot now. We have boys and girls here. My kids, whenever they go somewhere they have to tell us where they are going and who they are with. We tried not to be so over protective. It is hard though. Just like Aaron, he likes to hang out with his band mates. We will allow him but just not to stay out late. We usually not allow our kids to go out during school days. As you know here in the Philippines kids school hours starts really early. So we tried not to let them go hang out with friends during school days. They have to go to bed at a certain time for them to have enough sleep time. Our kids have to eat dinner before 6:30 in the evening. So that after dinner we as family still have time to hang out together before their bedtime. That’s why Bob and I hardly go out with friends during night time. We spend our evenings with our kids. Hang out place would be our bedroom. Just talking or watching shows with them. Sometimes during weekends we will have movie time and will have popcorn and other snacks while watching movies.
I know some parent in the West and here, hang out with their kids like what we are doing. I think some parents are just too busy with their lives that they had no time to stay with the family. I’ve notice though some parents here allow their kids to go out at night during school days. The kids can even stay up late at night. The next day that kid still had to wake up early and go to school. Some kids even go to internet cafes and play games till late at night or at the coffee shop and some parents were okay about it. At the end the grades will surely suffer. I know for sure it ain’t happening in our household. We have a college niece right now. She’s not going out to hang out with friends during school days either, unless she’s making projects with them. She can hang out all day with her classmates during weekends or during non school days. We’re allowing her to have her classmates over to our house during weekends and can do projects with them or they can go somewhere to the mall or something.
I think you’ve notice that lots of boarding houses for rent in the city especially near the school. Some kids that’s staying in the boarding houses some of the landlady/landlords are strict with the rules. They have curfew hours. A lot of the parents wants a landlady/landlords that can look after their kids. If the kids not following the rules the landlady/landlord will most likely call up the parents and talk to them.
In the West the parents can really be protective to a certain point. By the time the kid reach the legal age, the parents almost always have no say of what they are doing. Especially the kid will be out of the house of the parents mostly by the age of 18. I’ve seen friends that I used to hang out there before and they have kids that’s over 18 now. Those kids were already out of the house in which its not bad. Most of them turned out good. Really it just the way they were raised from the start I guess. I’ve had kids from my friends before that I’ve been friends with them now on facebook. They are my connection to their parents. They turned out really good kids. I’m very happy for them. I’m also proud knowing these kids.
I guess it just comes down on how the parents mold the kids from the start. No matter what part of the world you are, it doesn’t really matter. I’ve seen kids that was totally screwed up here. Parents giving up of being parent seen here too. It’s depressing. I’ve seen that too when I was in the States. Very different world nowadays. But one thing I can say though, the world is totally different now than when I was growing up. Before kids were more respectful to elders and caring. I think its that way in the West too before.
Peace to all!
Feyma Martin is a Columnist here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine, she is the wife of site Publisher, Bob Martin. Feyma is originally from the Philippines, but went to the USA for 10 years after marrying Bob in 1990. Bob & Feyma moved to the Philippines to live permanently in 2000.