A month ago I wrote about an unsavory Kano and a fender bender he was in, with my car. The subject came up in the comment section, about what I should do about it. There were a lot of good suggestions on how to deal with it.
One approach I’ve heard from other contributors before, is to avoided foreigners completely. I summarily reject that advice and I find it foolish, and also what a lonesome life I would lead here, if I were to do that. For there is nothing wrong with meeting new people, and if they are not a good fit in your life, then move on. All it cost is a little time. The standards you use in your selection of friends are wholly your own. I would never presume to give advice on that. Except, to be wary!
The criteria I use are based on simple rules and have worked well for me as I’ve traveled all over this planet and have set foot on every continent. It is normal that if you run into someone that speaks the same language as you, you will normally gravitate towards them. While talking with them, I’ll listen to what they say, and ask myself if I agree or disagree. Yet I’d never judge the man just because I don’t agree, as I’m not a member of congress, and how’s that workout for them?
I would much prefer to know their attitude on subjects. Do they project negativity? Have they a sense of humor? How well do they interact with their family, are they respectful of the people around them? These are but a few of the things I need to know before I’ll invest a lot of time with someone.
My family is important to me; and how will they be treated by this new person I’ve met?
I was in a restaurant one afternoon with my wife having lunch. 3 guys and their ladies I knew came in and said hi and wanted to join us. The guys sat at my table, while their ladies went to another table. One guy I didn’t know very well asked why my wife didn’t go join the ladies. I failed to answer him, and then I suggested we put two tables together and the ladies join us. You would have thought I’d asked him to lend me a thousand dollars, from the shocked look he gave me. The guys that I knew really well helped me set up the tables so we could all sit together. A week later one of my friends told me that the other guy decided he didn’t want to be around me again. I’ll send him a thank you note.
My best friend, when he returns from sea, does not come all this way to visit with me. I’ll know when he’s in town, and will wait until he’s had his family time with his wife and kids before we have our buddy time. He’ll call me when he’s ready! But the one, who respects that, more than anyone, is his wife, as I’m the only friend who does that, others will show up the first day and expect him to go with them (BTW He won’t go), When he and I do get together, anything we do will always involve our wives and or families. We’ve never had anything but good times.
I enjoy friendships with both Kano’s and Pinoy’s and being a hermit has never suited me well, I require social interaction in my life. But! Just not every day; please!
I was saving this for Face Book, but it seems to fit well here: “If you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’ (Okay I posted it on FB, I couldn’t wait.)
I select my friends as carefully as I choose where I wanted to live. It’s just common sense.
Well it’s time to return to the hermitage until next week. Call your buddy today, make a new friend tomorrow! But “BE WARY”!