Feeling sorry!

A week or so ago I read something on the news on Sunstar Cebu. That a daughter killed her dad, she saw that her dad was physically abusing her mom. I guess it’s been going on for quite some time already, before when the dad abused the mom all the kids will just hide somewhere. But that night when the dad came home drunk and physically abusing his wife and he was trying to cut her leg with a saw. I think when the kid saw what the dad was about to do to her mom, it was to much for her. She really acted quickly to save her mom. I can’t blame her. Can you imagine seeing your loved being hurt by your other loved one?  That must be so traumatic for this kid.

I read it in SunStar Cebu
I read it in SunStar Cebu

It really reminds me of a family member of mine. It’s hard to see and hear what happened. Problem is nothing we can do about it if the people that’s involved would not and never want to press charges against the person. All of us would want to do something but the involved people were just turning their backs on the problems. It’s really a heart breaking to all of us that wanted to do something. I’ve seen those kids in my family circle that they were already in chaos. Some of them we sent for counselling and rehabilitation. Some of them don’t want to be on counselling, they think they are a shrink to be there. We even told them that it’s not like that at all. We even said that Bob and I went to counselling in the States trying to help Chris on his disability. But for no avail they ‘re not listening. Enough of helping out.

Squatter Kids in the Philippines
Squatter Kids in the Philippines

The reason I wrote this post was because my niece had a project report in school. They had to go to the poor or the squatters area and ask what’s the life now being a single parent, marriage at a young age and having kids. Anyway, one of the people that we knew that fits the description that my niece was wanting to interview was our laundry lady before. She had a live-in guy the father of her kids. Which he is not really helping out a lot in raising these kids. So a few days ago my niece went there to interview our laundry lady. When she got there to their house our laundry lady, she’s not home, only her 2 young kids were home ages 10 and 7. Those kids already knew my niece, they come to our house sometimes to play with Nicole. So they were very comfortable welcoming my niece inside the house and they were chatting with her while waiting for their mom to come home.

The older kid out of those 2 opened up to my nice that she almost killed her dad just recently. So my niece really got interested with what the kid was talking about. Really we cared for those kids too. So the kid continued on saying that her dad came home one night and drunk and just starting a fight with their mom. At first they just didn’t bother to see what was going on because they thought it was just a typical fight every time he’s drunk. But I guess the daughter saw that the dad was kicking the mom. So the kid told my niece that her dad did not stop right away, then she said that if her dad did not stop kicking her mom she’s not hesitant to stab her own dad. Can you imagine if the dad did not stop kicking the mom? Something bad could end up with them that night. My niece told me that the way the kid was talking about the kid is not scared to stab the dad. It would be a sad situation for the mom to be in. She’s a nice lady and if she will not do something about it she will be sorry later.

When the mom came here to our house to do some ironing for us, I told her that she has to do something with her husband. I told her that being a parent our responsibility should be to protect our kids. Not to put them in danger. I’m really hoping for the best for the family member that I have and my laundry lady. I hope they will not go through what the kid in Cebu went through.

Post Author: Feyma (353 Posts)

Feyma Martin is a Columnist here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine, she is the wife of site Publisher, Bob Martin. Feyma is originally from the Philippines, but went to the USA for 10 years after marrying Bob in 1990. Bob & Feyma moved to the Philippines to live permanently in 2000.

Investigation in the Philippines


  1. David Tamares-Little says

    Hi Feyma,
    It is difficult to know how much to interfere. I guess we are lucky here as our whole culture has created a system where anyone can report abuse of any kind and it will be investigated. It is not fail safe and we also have had some terrible deaths due to abuse but I think we are getting there. Small steps but steps forward. My hope is that we can all interfere if we see abuse and get it stopped.
    best wishes,

    • says

      Hi David Tamares-Little – I hear you. Like what you just mentioned taking small steps. Hoping really for the better. But we have shelter for women who are abuse here now. The government will give them some job(projects that earn money) to do inside the shelter.

      Looking forward for the better future of the abuse kids and adults here.

      Thank you for stopping by here!

  2. donna west says

    yes that is a very sad story Feyma. because of the poverty there and the feeling of hopelessness, i am sure there are many cases of domestic and child abuse. we are not free of that terrible thing here in america either. It is hard to turn our heads and our hearts away from such circumstances, especially if we know the victims. I wish I had good advice for you but I dont. all i can say is, thank god you have been given a kind heart to be able to care and feel true concern for these women and children.

    • says

      Hi donna west – Really sad for sure Donna. It’s really a worldwide problem. Only thing is here government projects still limited. Hopefully more shelters and projects in every town for the abuse women.

      Thank you so much for the kind words. Have a great day!

  3. Lola Let says

    Feyma, Continue to guide and advice her! She will hopefully make the right decision to do something about her abusive situation. Whether she reports it to the police or to leave him; it’s not going to be easy for her. Her kids will probably also help with her making the right decision when the time comes and a life-or-death situation is present! Good Luck!

    • says

      Hi Lola Let – Thank you. I’m hoping that later she will make the right decisions for her and her kids. It’s hard to advice to people when they already made up their minds to stay with their hubby no matter what. I will be happy if the kids of my laundry lady will be successful in life later. I’m really hoping on that.

      Nice to see you here. Have a wonderful day!

  4. John Leick says

    So sorry to read this, quite depressing. I too have been in squatter towns and have seen the heavy drinking. I so wanted to take pictures there so I can share what life can be like in the RP; I just want people to understand here, but under respect I kept my camera put away. Not always paradise in the RP.

    Feyma, maybe each of us cannot make big change in the world, but we just can’t give up. If we can reach just one person, it is our responsibility, our calling to love.

    • says

      Hi John Leick – Truly. I can understand what you’re talking about taking pictures. Some people might get violent. Maybe you could ask them if you could take picture. If they said no its okay. at least you ask them.

      Yep, we can’t change the whole population. But we can help out a little bit at time. That will be nice to do.

      Thank you for your nice comment. Have a pleasant day!

  5. says

    I wish to get in touch with feyma and bob martin. I read their writeup on straberries in the Buda area. I have a farm in Talakag and i will soon be retiring in the Philippines. I am currently working as a professional environmental consultant in the Middle East. I want to grow strawberries in my farm.

    • says

      Hi Poyie Guarin – Thank you so much for writing. I don’t really know the strawberry farmers in Buda. But I will ask some friends if they have and I will email you.

      I’m hoping to find somebody for you so that we will have plenty of strawberry farmers here. That would be awesome.

      Good luck to you on your retirement. Cheers!

  6. PalawanBob says

    No government cares about the third world poverty.
    Not even the church cares for the poor.
    Thanks God, at least they can still feed themselves but that will not last forever.
    It will happen in less than 4 YEARS EXACTLY!

    • Ricardo Sumilang says

      For so long, you’ve been saying the sh*t will hit the fan in Spring of 2013, PB. Now it’s 4 years?

      • PalawanBob says

        The spring 2013 is only the beginning and 2016 is the midway.
        Regarding the epilogue… have you been in Detroit lately?

        • Ricardo Sumilang says

          Have never been to Detroit ever, but I have heard about it in the news and have seen some pictures of a decaying American city, PB. I also heard that the population has shrunk by almost 300,000 in recent years while 47 percent of the adult population is functionally illiterate. Minorities and illegal aliens have taken over the city. Have you ever been to Denver, San Francisco, or Chicago? For example, check out what Rahm Emmanuel has been doing in Chicago insofar as improving the city’s infrastructure to attract tourism. They are busy over there. Detroit is an anomaly that can be corrected with the right leadership.

          • PalawanBob says

            I know that you’ll not listen to me nor will anyone else here.
            Therefore I’ll give you a hint long in advance so that you would pay attention next time.
            There will be a HUGE INTERNATIONAL EVENT coming in late 2012, early 2013 and it has nothing to do with the Mayan calendar.
            That event will suddenly precipitate us into a biblical global economic depression!
            You’ll believe it only once we’ll be in early January 2013.
            Guess what, I have no special or privileged connections whatsoever. This information is available to anyone. However, it is well hidden into billions of Internet web pages.
            Call it an accidental discovery.

            • Ricardo Sumilang says

              Would appreciate seeing a picture of your doomsday bunker you said you are building out there in Palawan, PB. Shots of both outside and inside, as well as provisions you have stocked up inside it, if you don’t mind. I believe you are speaking the truth, but has Nostradamus predicted what you are predicting?

              • PapaDuck says

                I’m sitting here right now enjoying myself here in Cavite after having a good time with Paul Thompson drinking some cold SMB’s in Subic yesterday. So let the world end right now and i will be happy lol

              • Ricardo Sumilang says

                Papa Duck, you sound like you finally found your paradise over there in Cavite. Right now, you must be thinking your vacation is too short, but take comfort in the fact that you will be back in 2 short years – and for good this time around. Can’t wait to hear your stories and see some pictures here on LIP when you get back. To say that I so long to be in the Philippines right now, sitting under the mango tree in my Mom’s backyard in Salaza, reading the PDI and having coffee and pandesal and sardines would be an understatement. :)

              • PapaDuck says

                Ricardo, yes i think i have found my paradise. but the trip did not start out so good. on my way to Wash DC we had to make a emergency stop in Charlotte NC due to a passenger having a medical emergency. So having only a one hour layover in DC, we stayed on the ground in Charlotte for 1 1/2 hours and missed my flight to Narita. So the next morning i flew out to Japan via San Francisco and arrived in Manila a day later. Other than that i’ve had a great time. Will be flying out tommorrow at 10:55pm. I hate to go back, but March 2014 will come fast enough. Take care talk to you later.

  7. says

    This sort of thing makes my blood boil. Seriously, I have no tolerance for this sort of thing. I was so proud of my Mom as a child when she mustered up the courage to leave my Dad who used to come home drunk and beat her in the middle of the night.

    Just today my maid came over to pick-up my laundry and I noticed bruises on the left and right sides of her, just below the shoulder. She said her boyfriend had grabbed and shaken her as well as gave her scratches along the back of her hand in a struggle. I AM SO PISSED. And do you what enrages me even more? Her boyfriend is a foreigner. Some example he’s setting aside from the fact that no man has any business hurting a woman like that.

    One of these nights his path and mine are going to cross when I’m at her bbq place she runs. She might forgive him out of fear. I won’t.

    • Buddy Franklin says

      What does it matter whether it’s a foreigner or not? Are you suggesting that it’s alright for a Filipino man to do that? I doubt you will do anything either as it happens time and time again in relationships all around the world moreso in countries like Philippines and other less developed countries so do not think you’re going to change that anytime soon. As a foreigner you just keep your head down and go about your own business. If it’s really that bad for her where her life is at stake then she will leave and go back to her family. The fact that she is working while having a foreigner bf suggests that she’s not recieving any support and will be better off with her family

  8. PalawanBob says

    Take it easy Henry, there are thousands/millions of cases of this kind here in Philippines and throughout the world. You can’t correct this kind of abuse.
    Remember, God said, the wicked will be punished!

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