I mean how just hard it can be, every unemployed guy on my street tells me that he’s a Plummer, and then borrows my two pipe wrenches. My father, who was a construction engineer, had to hold many trade licensees, electrician, carpentry, and plumbing plus some others. He told me the plumbers’ creed when I was young, and with this knowledge, I can’t fail.
Water freezes at 32 degrees, turds won’t flow uphill
Hot’s on the left, colds on the right, paydays are on Friday.
I now be a Plummer!
I’ve been stuck at home because of all the rain last few months, and decided to undo all the harm my fellow local unemployed plumbers have caused with their damn Buka-Seal over the years. And you thought I just drank beer all day. So, off I go on my quest, to my upstairs bathroom and remove the tank from the base. (Yes, I shut off the water) First I undid the water feed and the two bolts, simple you’d think, but now the Buka-seal rears its ugly head, the bolts were covered with it and they replaced the connecting donut gasket with that damnable stuff. Rock the tank to the left, then to the right and after ten minutes it comes loose. Have you ever tried to clean Buka-seal off of porcelain?
Off to Handyman Hardware in San Fernando, and purchase all that’s required to bring my crapper in to the New Millennium, nine years late, and the only place on Earth that still is affected by the Y2K bug, as the local parts are pure (pardon the pun) crap. Brand new flush-o-meters, new bolts and gaskets imported from Europe were purchased and now I’m on the way home, to tilt my lance at windmills.
Then I reassemble and installed all the new parts (with no Buka-seal), and just a little Teflon tape. I turned the valve and its flowing water with no leaks! Ok, I’m not being 100% honest about that, but nothing that a wrench couldn’t fix. At the Non-union Hall down the road, there was total disbelief over the fact that their Bulk-seal could be replaced with gaskets!
Please don’t tell the Non-Union boss I’m doing this, as I’ve got two more to do, and then the sinks. I will soon be living in a “Buka-seal Free Zone.” I know you’re wondering if my base (commode) is still cemented to the floor. Well, yes, (the why of it is something I just don’t understand) after all I have my limits, but no plummers crack!
Two months have passed since I started my quest, three bathrooms, done, one kitchen sink, done, Buka-Seal banned for life, commodes are still cemented to the floor, me, I’m still wondering why did they do that?.
Now in closing, one last thing I need to know. Were the people who named my crapper “Royal Tern” having fun with me or just couldn’t spell? So remember, we choose to live here, and toilets are very, very important!