We are watching a new show right now that got me intrigued. The name of the show is “Married At First Sight”. It is really an interesting show for us anyway. For me it’s kind of similar to the way we got married, but the good thing for ours, at least we did know the name of the person we are writing with. At that time no internet yet, at least we are writing letters a few times a month, some even for years. Now with the internet, meeting someone through chatting. Then email, then talk through skype or any other kind of social media communication, then meet up in person later, then it develops from there.
Well, on the TV show (Married at first sight), the couple will not know the name or see the person they’re about to marry. It’s really like a blind date (I mean blind marriage. Lol). You will meet the person you’re about to marry at the wedding ceremony. The family of the bride-to be will meet the groom first while the groom waits for his bride in the altar. The anticipation is a killer. Even us watching we are also a bit tense waiting for the couple if they will be liking each other seeing one another for the first time. Really it’s kind of intense.
On the show they had 3 couples who were selected by the experts of psychologist, sexologist, spiritual adviser and a sociologist. Those participants had to undergo a lot of questions and answers, one on one interview, and also a home visit from the expert to check the house. Bob and I, we’ve been shocked that the expert that will visit the house she really checked out inside the closets and also what’s inside the refrigerator. Wow, that’s really thorough checking. LOL. I guess to sign up for that show you have to clean up every corner of your house. Ha ha ha, they will find out later if the person is messy anyway. 🙂
We just got done watching the first season. First they had to be married for 5 weeks. Then the experts will question the couple if they still want to be married or get divorced after 5 weeks. Then the couple will be filmed for 6 moths of how they lived their lives. Then the one year anniversary of wedding. Out of the 3 matched couple, 2 were successful so far. The one that was divorced, it’s a bit shocking to see them go their separate ways, because they’re the one that were so at ease with each other after seeing for the first time and during the first few days. Just watching the couple, they seem like they hit it off. It just sad that it didn’t work out good for them.
For one of the couples, the bride was just crying because she’s just not attracted with her groom. But she married her anyway, her family told her to give it some time. She’s lucky to have that guy, because he has been patient with her. The bride really had problems growing up. It’s not small stuff. The groom was just there to help her and try to encourage her to do what she felt like doing in her own time. They stayed together after 5 weeks. Then she feel in love with her husband. Then during 6 months to 1 year, she’s even talking about having babies with her hubby. The husband, he is just not ready that time.
The other couple they’re also good. They hit it off good. You can see the attraction between the 2 of them by just watching them. It’s just sad that the family of the bride didn’t accept that kind of marriage so they did not attend the wedding. The mom of the groom did not attend the wedding either. Her reasoned was valid though, she was in chemo during the time of the wedding. She’s just too weak to attend. Few weeks after the wedding the mom of the groom died.
Honestly, I’m hoping for the success of each of the marriages on that show. It would be a good story to tell to their kids, grand-kids and to their offspring later. For me in every relationship both parties has to work hard on nurturing it. We’ve known people that married their childhood sweetheart but later they still get separated/divorced. Some people married and they’ve known each other for ages and still go their separate ways. I’ve known a few in our neighboring town, the husband and wife were arranged by their parents to be married, they just met in the church during the wedding and almost 40 years later they’re still together.
If you’ve seen the show, let me know what you think? For those that didn’t see the show, try to see it. Feel free to drop a note here.
A few good quotes that I saw on the net:
“Make your marriage Your Own. Don’t look at other marriages and wish you had something else. WORK to shape your marriage so that it is satisfying for both of you.”
“Don’t worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there’s nothing for us left to fight for.”
MABUHAY!!!
Good post, Feyma! There are some interesting statistics with regard to arranged marriages. It makes you wonder if there are some advantages to it.
Thank you so much Tom!
Have a great day!
We are watching season 2 or Married At First Sight right now and find it interesting how in America, it is almost a badge of honor to be divorced. We also watch a show called 90 Day Fiance.
Hi Thom – We also saw that 90 Day Fiance before, I am not sure if it is in a new season now, or what. We felt that Season 1 of Married at First Sight was better than Season 2, but it is a bit hard to give a final judgment on Season 2 until it finishes up. 🙂
Season 1 was done by the FYI network. It was a success so they threw more money at it, hired more staff and put it on A&E to get more exposure. Sometimes throwing money at something is not always a good thing.
Ha ha, true, Thom Sisson!
Hi Thom – We are also watching the season 2 right now. We watched that 90 Day Fiance too. Wondering how are those couple doing today?
But we liked the first season of Married At First Sight Show though. It’s more interesting to me. I’m hoping for the best of all of the couple. Hopefully they will work out at the end.
Glad to see you here. Have a pleasant day!
We are watching season 2 or Married At First Sight right now and find it interesting how in America, it is almost a badge of honor to be divorced. We also watch a show called 90 Day Fiance.
Hi Thom – We also saw that 90 Day Fiance before, I am not sure if it is in a new season now, or what. We felt that Season 1 of Married at First Sight was better than Season 2, but it is a bit hard to give a final judgment on Season 2 until it finishes up. 🙂
Season 1 was done by the FYI network. It was a success so they threw more money at it, hired more staff and put it on A&E to get more exposure. Sometimes throwing money at something is not always a good thing.
Ha ha, true, Thom Sisson!
We are watching season 2 or Married At First Sight right now and find it interesting how in America, it is almost a badge of honor to be divorced. We also watch a show called 90 Day Fiance.
Hi Thom – We also saw that 90 Day Fiance before, I am not sure if it is in a new season now, or what. We felt that Season 1 of Married at First Sight was better than Season 2, but it is a bit hard to give a final judgment on Season 2 until it finishes up. 🙂
Season 1 was done by the FYI network. It was a success so they threw more money at it, hired more staff and put it on A&E to get more exposure. Sometimes throwing money at something is not always a good thing.
Ha ha, true, Thom Sisson!
My goodness gracious, Feyma! What is the world coming to? I thought I had enough of Bruce a/k/a Caitlyn Jenner who still has his Jimmy, but feels she is Jenny, 70 plus-year-old gay guys from Pennsylvania who finally decided they didn’t want to live as adopted son and father anymore and now want to get married as husband and wife, or whatever they to call it, and a guy in Japan marrying a rubber mannequin!!!
Now, you hit me with this? What’s next? LOL
Just to clarify, I understand arranged marriages. I don’t see anything wrong with it. What I fail to understand is some guy who would take a risk and wait at the altar to marry a girl he has never met. Take a look –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew6S9cQ66Fc
Hi John – I didn’t know that you’re keeping up with the Caitlyn/Bruce Jenner. My schedule is just too much right now to keep up with her. LOL
Have a good one.
Cheers!
My huge concern with Western marriage is that we (as a culture) have lost our understanding of commitment…which is essential for making a marriage work at all. Everyone who has ever been married understands that not everything goes the way we expect. Working through the rough spots that are inevitable is critical to building a lasting connection.
That piece of paper that says you’re legally married doesn’t make a marriage at all. It’s just the beginning that says you’re declaring your intention to make things work. But since divorce is so simple (in the United States) and like was previously mentioned it’s almost honorable in this culture. It’s sad.
I vote for making it work. Even if it’s difficult, because, it is guaranteed to be difficult for most people.
Hi Byron – You really had a good point there and I agree on your comment. Honestly, it’s good to have divorce as an option if the marriage will not work out. But I think in America they used it so easily before trying so hard. Just a small problem, I think they give up so easy.
Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts here. Have a wonderful day!
Mrs Feyma,
Don’t think I would want to marry someone I have never met. Same with arranged marriages. Being forced to marry someone you may not love. As far as divorce goes, it may be used a lot in the US, but its better than not having it available like here where woman are stuck in abusive marriages and can’t afford a very and expensive annullment process.
Hi PapaDuck – True, but if it worked out good for them that would be so awesome. A good story for them to be telling new friends and offspring.
***As far as divorce goes, it may be used a lot in the US, but its better than not having it available. *** — Really good they had that. I’m for it especially if theirs physical abuse (kids were hurt too) and it’s just not good to be together anymore. But I think the couple there just give up so easily and don’t try so hard. Just my opinion though. 🙂
***like here where woman are stuck in abusive marriages and can’t afford a very and expensive annullment process.*** — Yep, a lot of times seeing family members whose being abuse or the abuser one. Us family members that’s watching would say a lot “wished for divorce law here”. You’re so right annulment process is so darn expensive here.
Always good to see you here PapaDuck. Have a great day!
Hi Randy –
I understand where you are coming from with respect to arranged marriages. Part of the misunderstanding may be the sometimes false perception that arranged marriages are etched in stone even in this day and age. It may have been the case once upon a time, or still is, depending on the region and the social standing of the families involved.
Another reason may have to do with the prevailing notion in the West that parents who engage in such practice are backwards, uneducated and lived in tents like the Bedouins.
My wife’s extended family in Virginia still practice arranged marriages as a cultural accommodation to a fast disappearing link to its historic past, although the practice is no longer a rigid exercise in following age-old tradition.
It is vastly different now from how it used to be, primarily because the parents and the young couples themselves have lived in the U.S. for decades. They are well educated, have university degrees and completely assimilated in western culture, the end result of which is often open-mindedness.
In fact, my wife and I just attended 2 successive Palestinian weddings in northern Virginia in May and June, and another one coming up in Pittsburgh in the fall. They are all relatives of my wife. In all cases, and I am not bragging, the parents are well off. One is a neurosurgeon, one is a lawyer, and another owns a car dealership.
I would say that thirty years ago, Palestinian couples whose marriage were arranged by parents and relatives were not allowed to date, or to be by themselves without chaperone. Today, they do “date”, at the girl’s home usually, but not in the western sense – like holding hands or kissing, that is still taboo – for the purpose of getting to know one another.
The arrangement is not at all “forced” as is generally thought by most outsiders, or even a marriage of convenience. It is one that allows either partner to back out of the arrangement before exchanging vows, if there should be what would turn out to be unresolvable differences between the two after the knot is tied.
Above all they must be in love. If the couple is not in love with one another, the wedding is off. This is perfectly fine. This is why “dating” is allowed. Their parents and relatives would be grateful to know that the wedding cannot proceed because they don’t love each other, or are incompatible with one another.
In the 47 years that I have been a part of my wife’s family, I can honestly say that I know of not one arranged marriage in the family that failed.
John,
Thanks so much for the enlightment. I never knew a lot of what you said. I don’t think I would have a problem with it now.
Hi Feyma
Going back to the TV programmes, it just goes to show that some people will do anything to appear on TV and have their few minutes of fame.
I have watched some reality shows before and enjoyed maybe the first season or two but the TV companies really are running out of ideas when they have shows like the one you mentioned.
Only my point of view of course.
Cheers
AJ UK
Hi Feyma,
We have a lot in common. Juliet and I fell in love over hand-written letters just like you and Bob. In all honesty, I was lucky that at the time Juliet did not have access to the internet. I present better in writing than I do in person and I fear I would not be good on Skype either.
I have not seen the show. We do watch a lot of reality TV though. There is one now called the Bachelorette. The girl has 25 suitors to chose from. The current one a couple of the guys have seemed to have fallen in love with each other. One of them actually said he is not interested in the girl anymore, but wants to impress her so he can stay on the show to continue his relationship with the man.
On divorce, I think it is too hard in the Philippines, but too easy in the USA.
I enjoyed reading your article!
Feyma
Some on the comments reminded me of a TV programme from the 80’s in the UK. It is called Filipina Dream Girls and the link on YouTube is below.
Whilst it has it’s funny moments I’m sure the general outline of the programme will strike a few chords with some people reading LIP. The dreams and the reality are often two very different things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWaBKxKgbfg
Cheers
AJ UK