In January this year I met a newly retired Kano, still very white, still very fresh from the Canadian cold weather. We met in a local “pub” here where only a few Kanos’ per year ever come for a Red Horse. He told me that he has been in town already for three long weeks and that he had no intention to stay for much longer despite the fact that he had a pre-paid one year return ticket.
He then went-on to describe how he felt when he arrived to the little southern Palawan town called Quezon by UV van. When he arrived into the terminal, it felt like he just went back in time about 75 years. That was the last stop of the bus and everybody had to get off; but he told me that he was ready just to sit in the bus and wait until it would start going back to PPC.
Naturally, I asked why he felt that way. I go often to Quezon and never feel that way.
He quickly pointed to his stomach and his rear end. He was constipated from day one since his arrival in Manila where he stayed for five days, and then a few days later he develloped several boils on his posterior. So much so, that he could hardly sit comfortably on the chair; always leaning on one side and always using only one side of his two cheeks.
Now, this was truly embarrassing because his condition prevented him to behave normally in front of the lady that he was corresponding with over Internet for the last two years.
Nothing seemed to work to stop the problems… nothing! He was desperate for a cure.
I am not a doctor but my wife would know how to unplug a severely constipated person. So I suggested him to talk to her.
Here is her recipe:
- One fresh Papaya fruit.
- One double Espresso Coffee.
- Two Yokults.
All to be taken first thing in the morning and if this doesn’t work, come back for a REAL horse remedy.
Fortunately, the first recipe worked. Actually it worked so well that he ended-up with a diarrhea and a few “mishaps” to deal with. His boils opened-up and he became a walking mess.
Fortunately, his health has now dramatically improved and he is still living in the “cosmopolitan town of Quezon”. He lost about 20 KG of fat, has well adapted to the small gossipy town, eats fish and rice for breakfast and also for lunch, doesn’t mind geckos and ants on the living room walls, lives without A/C, drives a motorbike and so on.
In other words, he understood that adapting was his only option. Going back to Canada is now only a thought. At 68 he is in reasonable physical shape, although he confided that he is impotent due to an accident. He is mostly worried about the state of affairs in the world (me too) meaning, what would happen if Shit Hits The Fan. He invoked several scenarios on that subject but I’ll skipp the details.
He didn’t get married yet but this is a serious thought. His “girlfriend” is a very nice lively person in her late fifties. Always pleasant and welcoming. I just can’t imagine how she could be a bad choice. On top of that, she is a wealthy widow. She drives her own SUV and lives in her own (nice) house. A rarity here, but yes, it exists.
I am happy for him, he has all the right conditions to live a nice quality of life. He is the fortunate one.
This is not how most of us end up being here. For some of us it’s real misery. Some even end up in jail.
Some will do everything wrong. I know one who’s girlfriend is a true millionaire. Unfortunately, he is an a$$hole and that relationship ended quickly.
Hopefully, you are, or you’ll be at least in the group of the average. Life can be a bliss here for those who really want it.