I’m writing about the prejudices that I’ve experienced in the States while living there for 10 years. Not really too many instances but it happened to me. It’s not really shocking but in many ways I also wonder why would some people do that kind of thing.
Really it happened to me when Chris was about a year old or two. Bob and I really liked to go for a short drives to small towns in either Washington or Oregon area & the coast. We went near to the town where Bob grow up in Oregon. He was showing me the places that he and his sibling went for their grade school. It was a nice little town. Good to raise young kids. Plus he also was introducing me to the lady that was close to his family that resides in that small town. She’s kind of the lady to go to with the kids. She’s a good and special teacher. On the way there Chris was sleeping. As we were approaching the town Chris woke up and wanting to eat. So since it’s still not eating time we decided to get him some fries. So Bob stopped at a small restaurant. Its really just a take out place.
So Bob & Chris stayed in the car and I jumped out of the car and went to the small take out place. I was standing just at the take out window and wanting to order, there were 2 white ladies inside and they can see me. They’re just like a few feet away from me. I started talking to them wanting to order. I was being ignored. I figured maybe they didn’t hear me since they’re chatting. So I said it again and they didn’t listen they just continued on talking and ignoring me even though they saw me. I waited for another minute and still they didn’t turn around and take my order. That hits me, Bob & his parents kind of mentioned to me about some people in small town has tendency to be against other races. So it hits me that this must be one of those small towns that had narrow minded people. So I decided to just go back to the car.
Bob asked me where’s the fries? I told him they don’t want my money. They’re ignoring me. Bob was gonna go to that place and give them some piece of what’s on in his mind. I told him to just not worry and just let them be. They’re just idiots and uneducated. But honestly inside of me was already boiling. Bob told me to not accept that kind of behavior of others. I guess he taught me well. After that it really did change me a bit. I’m not accepting those kind of attitude anymore. Especially now with my kids being bullied. Not going to accept it.
But the sad one was Bob’s best friend in high school. Before I came into the picture, Bob was talking to his best friend regularly. He lives in different State. He would call Bob or Bob would call him. After he found out Bob was married to me and I came from different race., that really changed everything. Bob would call him and he never called back at the house. Not sure if he called at Bob’s work (I can’t remember). I did talk to him once just a few weeks after I got there in the US. He seems nice but I think because he grew up differently, its hard for him to change. We never met in person though. I guess not my loss, it’s his. Bob told me that whoever would not accept me as his wife, he is dropping them. So far that best friend of his was the only one. Every one in his family and friends were so nice and so friendly to me. With Bob’s cousins the kids especially and his nephew. Lord have mercy they go gaga over me. LOL… At least some were so loving with me aside from Bob. 🙂 All in all my stay in America its good. Love my time there. Was happy to be with Bob’s family and my friends and neighbors. I’m happy knowing lots of people there. Same thing if any of my friends/family won’t accept Bob, I’m dropping them too.
Here in the Philippines was another story. It’s funny now but it was hurtful at first though. We came back to the Philippines I was just a month after giving birth, C-section, to my youngest son. During my pregnancy I really gained. I had some problems with my pregnancy. After giving birth with the moving and packing and preparing to come here I didn’t think of losing weight there. So I came here I weigh like 145 lbs. It was a good transition. A friend already had a house ready for us to rent here. It was really nice and in a good neighborhood. Did you know that the tricycle driver told me that I had to pay double because I was big. Then my helpers told me that some of those drivers said to them “Oh your employer is that big lady?”. Wow, I was hurt but I can’t just blow them off. How can I get to them, they didn’t even pass grade school. If I get mad at them as if I’m also not an educated person. What will I gain on that? But OMG, I really would like to give them a piece of what’s on my mind. God knows how much I really held back. Thankfully I still had my self control. Thank God for that. LOL
I guess really anywhere we will experience prejudices in our lives. Just know how to handle it that it will not hurt your life. I know it’s not easy to say. Some people really suffered hard. I wish with the internet people are more open and accepting.
Cheers!
Feyma ,some persons are just so mean and nasty full of hate . God Bless you and Bob.
Hi Ralph – That’s for sure. Can’t imagine so many people are just so mean spirited though. Thank God we are not like that.
Good to see you here. Are you in Bohol now? Take care!
Ignoring racism is no answer. Ignorance is no excuse for racists to ply their wares. Nothing changes if we just ignore it. The response to ignorance needs to be education and only we can be the change.
Hi Andrew – I know what you mean. I’m educating the people that surrounds me and the people that knows me. It’s hard to teach to the people who are so narrow minded though. Hopefully they will learn later.
Yep I agree education is the key. Problem the peer pressure. So many kids nowadays grow up so mix up. So sad..
Thank you so much for stopping by!
Race should never be a reason to treat another person unkindly. Every person should be treated kindly until they prove that they do not deserve to be treated well, because of their actions, not because of their race.
Hi Richard – So totally agree with you on that. Not sure what makes people so mean spirited though. Just can’t imagine so mean to others.
But so many people now had an angry attitudes and with so much rage. Are the parents do you think were just so busy with work and not paying attention what their kids were doing? It’s really a mind puzzling for everyone.
Good to see you here. Have a great day!
Feyma;
As I’ve traveled the world and visited and lived in different places I came to understand people’s capacity for ignorance. 90% of the time I was the only blue eyed white guy in the crowd and many times I felt their hostility directed toward me. I’ll admit it did feel uncomfortable but it’s just part of my being different to them. My best defense was to be extra nice and smile. But being in a restaurant, store or government office feeling as they wish I was not there was just something for me to overcome. It’s a worldwide trait that can’t be blamed on any one group.
The prejudices you experienced both in the US and again here in the Philippines were not learned from another cultures but from parents, family and friends as they were growing up. What one says in front of children stays with them for life especially if they have never traveled and met other people where they live.
So true , Paul
Feyma – I am so sorry you had to experience this! You did exactly the right thing to maintain your composure and rise above – and not ‘stoop to their level’. Sometimes others feel threatened, ego insulted. intimidated or whatever and bringing someone to their level is usually the only thing they know unfortunately.
Paul – You are spot on – exactly right, it is ignorance and it IS something learned. I have also travelled the world and lived in different places. Upon my first return to the U.S. after a lengthy time away my first observance was, “Wow they take so much for granted here!”
As I was introduced as a new student into schools and was asked to tell of my adventures and travels in other places – I was immediately singled out and bullied, such as being called a Russian, or Commie. (Because I had spent some time in Russia) It was because of jealousy, ignorance and just needing to feel better about themselves in their own miserable lives.
I did graduate from SAS – the Singapore American School in Singapore where there was never a fight, as the school was a mix of races and cultures and religion from around the world. As of today I think we are still a tight knit bunch because we bonded tighter then because everyone was a minority. It would be nice if everyone could leave their comfortable surroundings in their own cities – or country, to see how everyone else lives and then make their ‘judgements’ with more knowledge.
They sure don’t object when their surgeon or doctor is from India, Japan, or elsewhere because they know of their intellect and extensive education. They sure don’t mind all the electronic gadgets they own where the components are made overseas in China, Japan, Korea, or even the Philippines.
Again Feyma, so sorry for your bad experience here from racial prejudice, and even in your own country because of judgement over your size.
It is a shame that others have so much hate and are racially or size prejudiced but it is their own ignorance and as long as you know better – then it is all that matters and you as a parent I am sure you are passing along better ‘teachings’.
We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.
~ Thomas Merton
Hi Mitch – Thank yo I really appreciate your kind words. Yep, so glad I carried with me that day my patience and my presence of mind. I can’t really change those people. They’re just so narrow minded people that they think they’re better than anyone. Ignorance is really a hard sickness to be cured.
Good to see you here. Thank you for your nice comment. Have a wonderful day!
Hi Paul – Thank you for sharing with your experienced Paul. Spot on. I’m glad you had the courage and the patience. So many people don’t have that much nowadays.
**** The prejudices you experienced both in the US and again here in the Philippines were not learned from another cultures but from parents, family and friends as they were growing up. What one says in front of children stays with them for life especially if they have never traveled and met other people where they live. *** —- So totally agree with you. I’ve grow up in a small town and my parents always told us kids growing up to be nice to others including the native people that goes to school with us.That we should not treat them meanly. And really I carried that trait with me all my life. TO BE NICE.
Oh well, hard to teach the whole world to be good to others. 🙂
Always good to see you here Paul. Have a good one. Take care!
I try to treat everyone the same regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or the color of their skin. Someday I shall be judged at the Pearly Gates and not positive what they shall appear as. . . Some might really be surprised, know what I mean! ! !
Hi Terrence – Amen to that… Good for you.
Take care!
sorry to hear that.!
Hi Philip – Thank you.
Cheers!
I also paid the big tax, ,coupled with the white tax during my visit to Ozamiz City. It won’t happen again . When I get back I’m buying my own tricycle . For Pvt use only . Lol
Hi Russell – Sorry you’ve experience that in Ozamiz too. Hmm the white skin price is big in that area? Good luck and have fun on your next visit.
Thank you for stopping by here. Have a great day!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. We to have come across stuff like this on south Whidbey Island here in Washington state although not that often and mostly just dirty looks. We just smile!
Yes Terry, hinderlands like South Whidbey Island are prone to do these kind of things, makes no difference what race you are! Chalk it off to stupidity!
Hi Terry – Not a good feeling to be stared at by people. As if you owed them something. When we went to the Oregon or Washington coast not much people stares at me. I guess they’re used to other race there. Too many vacationers maybe from other State and from Asia.
Smiling back is a good answer to their stare. Take care!
@Terry Allen.. I agree with you. Was stationed at NAS, Whidbey Island “umpteen” years ago..some areas in Coupeville, Anacortes and Bellingham wouldn’t serve me in their “taverns” because I do not look Caucasian. I know it has changed now but those days were tough in that area of Washington state. In the Philippines, there are still some “ignorant ones” and I try to ignore them. Bob Martin did a good job with that lady but I would have done better and just give her what we call, a “ten-mile stare”. 🙂
YEP Fayma! there are ignorant people wherever you go!
Just kiss them off and go on your way!
Yep that’s a good one Heinz. Thank you so much.
Cheers!
Hi Feyma – I would expect something like this (the two ladies who ignored you) to have happened in the deep South in the 60s, not in Oregon in the 90s, but, then, that’s me being naive.
Even though official U.S. policy on discrimination based on race is unlawful since the enactment of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, unfortunately, the undercurrents of racism remain alive and well below the surface in the life of day to day America.
Hi John – Yep, expected and not surprising in the South. Shocking in Oregon and other parts of the West Coast. Hmm, maybe those ladies are from the South. You’ll never know.
Racism will not die in our lifetime. Like what you said it will remain in the day to day life in America. Too many stupid and narrow minded kids growing up right now. 🙂
Thank you John for the heads up. Have a good one!
Feyma,
Andrew says “Ignoring racism is no answer. Ignorance is no excuse for racists to ply their wares. Nothing changes if we just ignore it. The response to ignorance needs to be education and only we can be the change.” That is true but some are already educated and choice to still think wrongly. I think you did the right thing. Educate those we can and leave the rest to their own bitterness.
The best way to fight racism is to hit the racists where it hurts most. In their pockets. If you are discriminated against in a restaurant because of your race, don’t act like Mother Teresa and let bygones be bygones. Sue the bastards. It happens all the time, all over America. Lawyers and victims of racial discrimination alike are laughing all the way to their banks.
Hi John – The educated one might be the hard one to educate. They might think they know everything.
*** Educate those we can and leave the rest to their own bitterness.*** — Good idea. Thank you for that advice.
Take care!
Small town USA is really the toughest when it comes to prejudices, for whatever reason, and we have experienced a bit of that, but not nearly as much as I expected thank God. And when we do get a stare down we have learned to just let it go because you can’t argue with someones ideology. Just keep smiling and move on.
Hi Gary – Yep, so true. Sorry you’ve experienced that too.
*** And when we do get a stare down we have learned to just let it go because you can’t argue with someones ideology. Just keep smiling and move on. *** — I so totally agree with you.
Good to see you here. Thank you for the comment.
Have a nice day!
I grew up in Arkansas, rural south, so experienced a bit of racism. But it is sort of expected in the South given its history. People forget that the Northwest, especially Idaho, has some of the most extreme cases. More white supremists, survivalists and general nut cases.
Hi Don – Yep, it’s expected there in the South, but when you experience it it does hurt your feelings. It’s just hard to understand why anyone can be so mean.
Thank God I didn’t experienced that in Idaho. We’ve been there a few times. Luckily I didn’t encounter those supremacists. Praise God for that.
Thank you so much for dropping by. Hope to see you here again.
Cheers!
No problem here for us in Cali…none at all.
Good to know Erik. So many mix race in that part of the country too.
Cheers!
bob people here are mixed and think nothing of age difference or race
I was worried about the age difference but nothing came of it…never even thought about the white guy and filipina thing(people are not that way)
I understand, Erik.
Hi Feyma
Good article. It is part of Philippine culture to comment on peoples weight. They will even tell people to their face “Wow you are getting fat” and other crazy comments like that. In Australia you would almost get slapped for saying that to a women but in the Philippines it part of culture already. Maybe that’s why tricycle drivers want double because i’m a big guy.
As for racists, they exist everywhere in every country. I believe it is usually grounded in lack of education and ignorance. Because in any race there are nice people and not so nice people. Filipinos from my studies can be quite racist but not so much against the white foreigner, more so against races they don’t understand or are suspicious of.
Hi Brenton,
Sorry Feyma for jumping in and correct me if I am off base on this, but my understanding is that saying someone is a bit heavy is not always an insult in Filipino culture. A year or so after my mom passed away of colon cancer. My wife was looking through a photo album and saw a picture of my mom and said she looks kind of fat in the picture. I don’t think she meant it in a bad way, but my Dad was present and it sounded strange to me. My wife was saying Mom looked healthy when she was a little fat.
Hi Jay
You are right about calling people fat not being an insult. The amount of times i have heard Filipinos call others fat directly or refer to others as the “fat person” or refer to others as “the fat child” or refer to their husband as “their fat husband” etc etc etc etc etc etc and never an insult was intended.
Even in Manila recently these Filipinos I was hanging with were quite seriously mocking their really fat friend as he was eating and everyone seemed ok about it, I felt uncomfortable as to make a joke at the guy and even felt a bit bad for him.
I have even had people come up to me that are strangers and say “You are the guy I have seen running a lot around Dumaguete, you have put on some weight recently and don’t look quite as good now”. No insult was intended, it was like part of friendly conversation. In Australia that would be insulting but in the Philippines not so much. How ever some Filipinos might be insulted, but the majority seem ok with it.
Hi Jay and Brenton –
I agree with you both. Describing or calling someone fat is NOT always an insult in Filipino culture. Filipinos who are offended by such description are those who, for the most part, were exposed to Western culture, are well-read, or have traveled abroad. For others, it’s business as usual.
A little background story might help understand the culture. There was a time in pre- and colonial Philippines when the natives had only one given indigeneous name. They had no surnames to speak of. If they did, their “surnames” most often described or are connected to the place where they came from.
It was the custom and tradition in those days for an Indio to be called by his single given name. “Timbo”, for example. In addition to his given name, he is given a “qualifier” name, perhaps to distinguish him from another Timbo in the village, or simply an extension of his given name. The qualifier name often describes his most prominent physical feature, deformity, or disability, like “bingi” (deaf), for example. Thus, if he is deaf, Timbo would be known in the village as “Timbo bingi”. This appelation is never intended to insult, nor to make fun of.
The Spanish Governor General Narciso Claveria edict of 1849 changed all that in an indirect way (the naming system) when Indios, later known as Filipinos, were required to adopt Spanish surnames, from A through Z, from a list provided by the colonial government to facilitate the government’s tax collecting. (My surname came from such list.)
Except for those who lived in the most remote areas relatively untouched by the Sword and the Cross, the natives in the lowlands from 1849 on had Spanish surnames.
Despite the Claveria edict, which served a different purpose, the custom of referring someone by his most prominent physical feature or disability lingers to this day in far-flung barrios throughout the archipelago, and no one raises an eyebrow.
Hi John
You have a lot of information in your head. It’s good to know of the “why” behind something. Some Filipinos have some really bad surnames because of it. Lol.
Apparently in Siqihor some family names there when translated to English have some pretty bad/distasteful meanings. I have heard Filipinos blame it on the Catholic priests of the past handing out bad names but have no idea if that is true or not.
Even a visayan language teacher in Dumaguete told me that Negros Oriental has the word “Negros” because the natives here were so black, therefore because Negro means black in Spanish, they named the island accordingly to represent how black the natives were.
I can’t confirm 100% if the story is accurate but the lady is a learned language teacher and studies culture. But I do know Filipinos aren’t so concerned about political correctness like many other cultures.
Hi Brenton –
I find hard to believe the story about Catholic priests handing out “bad names”. Apparently, your Filipino story- tellers were exaggerating, but were factually referring to the friars who were the primary instruments of the Spanish colonial administration’s nation-wide campaign in 1849 (the Claveria edict) to assign Spanish surnames to every Filipino household in every municipality and barrio under Spanish influence and control.
(The Igorots in the Cordilleras and the Moros in Mindanao, for example, escaped the Claveria edict).
The purpose of the campaign was to hispanicize Filipino surnames, which were up to that period in history a haphazard collection of indigeneous surnames, in order to simplify record keeping relative to the government’s tax collecting activities.
The surnames were not pulled out of thin air, nor were they “bad names”. They were all Spanish surnames arranged alphabetically and listed in an official Spanish government publication called, Catálogo alfabético de apellidos (Alphabetical Catalogue of Surnames), and were assigned systematically to every household.
Today you can discern the tell-tale signs of that 1849 campaign. Pick any town in the Philippines that were under Spanish control in that year. Taking into consideration the fact that families have moved out of town since then, while new families with different surnames have moved in, chances are, you will still see that many of the surnames assigned to each household in that town back in 1849 are still there.
In my hometown of Palauig (Zambales), for example, Spanish surnames that begin with the letter “A” abound, ie., Abad (my Mom’s surname), Altares, Arabejo, Agoncillo, Agabin, Aguilar, Agustin, Amon, Ancheta, Aquino, Alba, Acevedo, Amores, Anselmo, Apostol, Aragon, Arce, and so on.
However, my surname, Reyes, which is also my Dad’s is not native to Palauig. My Dad is from Pangasinan.
Hi Jay – *** Sorry Feyma for jumping in and correct me if I am off base on this, but my understanding is that saying someone is a bit heavy is not always an insult in Filipino culture. *** — Maybe so… But if you answer them back similar to what I just told Brenton, I don’t think they would like that reply.
Thank you so much for stopping by. Have a pleasant day!
Hi Brenton – I know that it’s pretty common here people will say about the weight thing first before greeting a person. But if you tell them in return that wow, you really looked so thin, you don’t have food in your house? I bet you they will get offended. You know what I mean? To be honest I don’t mind that thing anymore. I’m used to it now. Living here for so long you just ignore lots of stuff now. LOL
So true, racism is rampant all over the world. Some places are just over, some are not.
Good to see you here again Brenton. Take care and have a great weekend!
Too many people in the US (and many other countries) are narrow minded when in comes to race. People tend to forget that most of us who live in the US had ancestors which came here from another country. It’s all ignorance.
Really I wanted to comment on your weight story. Because I am large guy, about 5’7″ and 250lbs. I always have trouble squeezing into trikes and often my fiancee has to ride on the scooter.
On my last trip, one particular time, went got to our destination (after a very bumpy & rough ride on an old trike) and I paid the trike driver. I started to walk away and noticed my fiancee in a rather heated discussion with the trike driver, who then spend off. I could see she annoyed. So I asked what was the matter. She said the driver wasn’t happy and saying I was too heavy and overloaded his trike, which caused the bumpy ride. He wanted to charge more. She told him no, this is what the price costs and if you thought we were too heavy then should not have picked us up. You have been paid for the service so stop complaining.
I think she gave me the nicer version of the story since I speak very, very limited Tagalog.
Hi Sean – So true…
Thank you for sharing your Trike stories. It does happened and sometimes it’s annoying. Oh well, that’s life here… 🙂
Enjoy your next visit here in the PI. Have a great day!
Jerks are EVERYWHERE!
That’s so true Heinz!
That’s true, Heinz
who cares about jerks tho?they live life as a no-body…true?
Hi Feyma,
The one thing I would disagree with you on is the idea that people who are prejudice are un-educated. I think that they may sometimes be improperly educated, but education does not guarantee that one is not prejudice. There are plenty of bigots with masters and doctors degrees. There are also illiterate people who treat everyone the same regardless of race. In Nazi Germany there were scientist that did unspeakable things to other people and justified it because of race. I firmly believe in evil and we all got some in us. Some have more than others and it takes different forms.
Hi Jay – I welcome your opinion. Thank you for that. I will stand on mine.
Nice to see you here. Cheers!
As an adult, yes it still bothers us. As the parent of a mixed race child , prejudice towards children troubles me far more. This is the greater evil
Hi Bill – I’m totally agreed with you.
Happy to see you here. Have a pleasant day!
Hello Feyma…
Having grown up in a small town in rural Oregon I can understand your frustration. I would like to think what you encountered was an isolated case of being snubbed because they thought you were from south of the border. I remember the attitude toward those people in the 70″s and 80″s. It still exists, but nothing like earlier.
Yesterday was our 1 year anniversary here in the states. Even though we don’t live in the northwest, my wife has never had a situation like you experienced, and has remarked how nice the people are. I would say being a ” foreigner” while in the Philippines I was treated at times, much like you were. On the other hand I was treated kindly by the vast majority of people I encountered, while living there. If treated badly, I always say, ” It’s their problem, not mine”.
Have a great day! Amping.
Hi GregK – When I first arrived to the States and Bob and I went shopping groceries or at the mall, I always said to Bob that people here in America are really friendly people. That’s why it shocked me seeing those narrow minded people in that small town. But oh well, like I said it’s not my loss, it’s theirs.
But I think if it’s my kids that they did that. It’s going to be a different story though. I will fight for my kids. My kids knows that too.
You still living in Oregon area?
Have a wonderful weekend!
Feyma…
In my travels I have met the nicest people, but once in a while you meet someone that just doesn’t share your cheery outlook. It doesn’t matter what country you’re in. There’s good and bad everywhere. And yes you are right…..never mess with a woman’s kids 😀
We are living in Arizona now, and will stay here until my wife get’s her citizenship, then decide whether to stay here, or head back to the Philippines. She really likes it here, and maybe we will just go back and visit now and then.
Hi Feyma,
I enjoy reading your post. I am married to a lady from Chile S.A., and we have experienced the same thing. We don’t judge in fact we respond in a different way. We believe that we will be known by the love we have for others, it is this response that sends them into a tail spin. Everyone is saying eduction is the key, I know many well educated people who are the most racist, hateful people. Everyone at some point in time will be faced with this evil, it is how we deal with it that makes us the person that we will be.
Recently a friend of ours, a lady from the Phillippines died tragically, she was loved by the community because she always helped others in their time of need, when they took time to get to know her, she became a friend for life.
I am a retired sailor like the Pauls, I have traveled the world, and have been on the receiving end. The way I overcome it now is to pray for the individual and go on loving!
May God bless,
Doug Kelley
HI Doug – I’m glad that you’re commenting here. Do you to Chile just for vacation? Have you been to the Philippines? I think the 2 countries really has a lot in common.
*** Recently a friend of ours, a lady from the Phillippines died tragically, she was loved by the community because she always helped others in their time of need, when they took time to get to know her, she became a friend for life. *** — Good Pinay that’s so helpful, not a surprise.
Enjoy your retirement and God bless. Cheers!
Hi Feyma, yes we vacation in Chile when we can, we are planning in the future when I finally retire to visit yearly. It is a lot like the Philippines, the people are very friendly especially in the country, not so much in Santiago (Capital, like Manila). I met my wife there in 1974 when our Navy visited their Navy, called UNITAS. The people really impressed me with their friendliness.
I did visit the Philippines, in fact I lived there in 1975-1976 at Cubi Point Air Field. I experienced both the good and bad that life has to offer while I lived there, but that as I have learned (with age) is world wide. We as human beings must learn to look for the good, the bad will always be with us, choose to do what is right, and to put others before us in all things. Simple philosophy, but sometimes hard to do.
Take care I enjoy keeping up on life as it is in the Philippines, I read daily Bob’s, yours and Paul’s post, and others as time allows. Keep on writing, and I’ll keep on enjoying!
God Bless
Doug Kelle
I’ve often been told “Ignorance is a lack of education”. I agree with that concept in some regard, but education or not it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to treat people with kindness. Everyone deserves a basic level of respect.
I don’t blame Bob for wanting to get out of the vehicle and provide his two cents worth. It’s a normal reaction from anyone who is protective of someone they love and care about. Having said that – all the brow beating in the world isn’t going to change some folks. God will sort it out someday.
All we can do is to spread kindness and treat people with dignity in our respective journeys in life. These experiences teaches us to not treat others in that manner. For some being kind comes naturally. For others it’s a learned behavior. While others just will never get it.
Feyma, I apologize for those who treated you in that manner. I apologize to all who have endured that kind of treatment. I find it embarassing and upsetting.
God Bless!
Bill
Hi Bill – *** “Ignorance is a lack of education”*** — That’s what I heard too. I’m just happy that Bob had his self control at that time.
Oh yeah, its good to be kind to others. We tried to show that to our kids so that they can spread that to their offspring.
*** Feyma, I apologize for those who treated you in that manner. I apologize to all who have endured that kind of treatment. I find it embarassing and upsetting. *** — Thank you. Don’t worry about it. Its another thing I learn from life.
Good to see you here. Take care!
nice article Feyma , pero , i come from Oak Harbor Washington where the population is mostly from other nations, (20 per cent fil am? , korean and chinese ) dont get me wrong , i really love it he in the PI but i do notice a high degree of prejudice,,ei; at many gatherings , right after the malaysian flight went down , the often heard comment was “at least there were no filipino’s on board ” at that point i do not know what to say or feel and my chinese filipinos friends are really feeling it also but i do enjoy all your articles
Hi Tom – Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked my post. I can your point. I’m sorry that you and friends experience that too here in the Philippines.
I hope comment like that would not deter you from living here. Living here you’ve got to have lots of patience and understanding.
Enjoy your day. Cheers!
Hi Tom Clark. Note that the end of the article, Feyma did talk about prejudice that she experienced in the Philippines. 🙂
Yes, I commented on it – sorry she had to experience that – in both countries and on different things
Thank you so much Peter Mitch. I appreciate your kind words.
Cheers!
Please tell Feyma she is “Welcome” for her repy to my post
Hi Peter Mitch – Thank you and I really appreciate your comment here.
Take care!
Feyma,
Haters will Hate. No matter what happens.
I guess I am kinda like Bob, I don’t want my wife to have to be mis-treated at all.
But in the end, my wife is the person who keeps me from going rouge.
The other day just in the big box store, you know Walmart, someone made a rude remark to me and my wife. I didn’t understand what they said until a few seconds later when I turned around to get ready to throw some “HURT” upon them. But It was my wife who grabbed my arm and said “Let it go Honey” that brought me back to the real world.
Now I have been married now for 7 years, and right after we got married I was a lot bigger. Like 100 lbs bigger and my wife was a little bit smaller. Not going to mention numbers, but I think she is perfect in her size. We now have a child, so if you imagine us we look more like a regular couple now then maybe when we first got married.
Well as I was walking with my wife and my 3 year old daughter. Someone of another race, and seemly another sexual orientation by they way he was talking and acting, yelled right as he was passing me on the isle “Sugar Daddy!!” he was with a few of his friends.
Now if I confronted him about his comment, we would have went to blows, and I would have been identified as a racist and a homophobia. I know there wouldn’t be anyway I could be identified what I was a father and a husband.
The world can be stupid, part of it is raciest, other parts thinks my wife is “white” just because her hair isn’t curly.
Stupid people.
Hi James – *** Haters will Hate. No matter what happens. *** — I totally agree with you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You know what? I’m sure a few people did experience what you’ve been through too. Or similar anyway.
I just can’t believe that guy was yelling at you. He didn’t think through that you can easily yelled something at him in return against his sexual orientation. You should be proud of yourself that you had the self control and the right of mind. So sad too many stupid people all over the world.
Thank you so much for dropping here. Enjoy your weekend. Cheers!
Feyma
I can’t take much credit for my self-control most of the time. My self-control has been one of the most eclipsing change in my personality, and I have to credit this to my wife.
I can’t count the number of times I have felt a touch on my elbow or the middle of my back when I was getting ready to loose my tempter. And instantly I was reminded that there was someone there that was more important, then me being right and get my say.
And now that I have a small child her eyes are upon me and watching how I am handling things too.
Hello Feyma. So sorry that you experienced rude and racist treatment in the US. It is a sad fact that those sentiments still exist, and probably will continue. I count myself fortunate that was raised to treat others with respect, no matter their race. I suppose that’s a rare thing considering when and where I was raised. After I married Marlyn, I did learn a lot about the casual racism and bigotry that seems more prevalent today. We were stationed in Louisiana when we first came to the US. Marlyn complained that she was not being treated well by some of the folks. Folks like store clerks and service personnel. I had been with her and had never noticed anyone being rude or mean. But I’m fairly introverted, and don’t mingle with people very much. She showed me in a grocery store once. We put our groceries in two different carts and got in line as if we weren’t together. The checkout clerk was pleasant and chatty with everyone in the line ahead of us, whether they were Black or White. When Marlyn got to the register, the clerk went stonefaced. She was never rude or anything. She simply did her job without making eye contact, stated the amount due in a flat tone, and made change without comment. Fortunately, this is the worst we’ve experienced. Since then, Marlyn has become very westernized and is quick to challenge any hint of racism.
Regarding the incidents back in the Philippines that you described. My first inclination is that the people were being rude, and possibly thought they were being funny. I have noticed however, that Filipinos when speaking English, will often use the word fat, when they mean healthy. This is especially true of folks I know from the agricultural areas.
your right Bob , i was only agreeing that prejudice has no borders
Happens everywhere. My ex-British,white wife was 17yrs my junior, occasionally we would get derogatory comments and strange looks. We learned to just ignore and shrug it off.
I now have Rhino skin, lol.