Last week, I got an e-mail from a long-time reader of this site. I won’t give her name because I’m not sure she wants me to do that, but I will give a little information about her anonymously. For the sake of this column, let’s say that her name is Penny. Among my readers, Penny is unusual, she is a white female who lives in the United States. Nothing unusual about that, except that most people who want to live in the Philippines, and are coming from a Western country, are male. Penny has a Filipino boyfriend, and both of them have a dream of coming to live in the Philippines. Nothing unusual about that, most everybody who reads this site is interested to come and live here, but as I said, most are males.
Penny wrote to me and asked me if I could give some comment regarding safety for a white female in the Philippines. She wondered how this might differ from the safety of a male. I told her that I would have to think this over as it was not something I considered before, at least not in depth, and I also told her that I would write a column about it this week.
In addition to safety, Penny wondered about the general feeling of living here for somebody like her. She wondered about things like loneliness, or sort of being the outcast all the time. I can certainly understand her thoughts in that regard, because even as a white male living here, sometimes you just realize that you’re different than everybody else. You can’t hide the fact that you’re different, just by looking at you people know that you’re not the same. Normally, I have no problem with that, but at times it can bother you a little bit. I will say this, living in a society where you are a distinct minority certainly opens your eyes and makes you realize how others felt in the United States. I mean, there are lots of minorities in the US whether they the African-American, Filipinos, or whatever. I knew they were minorities, but I never really realized how they felt until I was one myself. The feeling is not always comfortable. As a matter of fact, when I first moved here. It took a long time to get used to the fact that I was a visible minority. It’s certainly opened my eyes and made me realize things about how others feel, things which I had never considered before. I would say it probably made a better person of me.
As for safety, I don’t think it’s a big concern for Penny. I feel that in almost all parts of the Philippines (please note that I said almost all parts) a foreign male or foreign female will be treated pretty much the same. There will be isolated places, perhaps in places like Muslim Mindanao, where a female would be treated differently, no doubt. But those areas are very isolated, and I don’t think that she would be going there anyway.
When I lived in General Santos City, from 2000 to 2002, there were very few white women to be seen. I would say that I could go six months without seeing a white woman, and that would not be unusual. I can remember one time when we are living there, my mother came to visit from the States. If she went out around town, she felt very uncomfortable, because she was the center of attention. She talked about this a lot because it was very unusual for her. However, here in Davao City, white women are fairly common, and I suspect they are in most of the big cities around the Philippines. Here in Davao, most of the white women that we see are here in some capacity as a missionary. And, they are very common. I’ve talked to a lot of white women here in Davao who are very comfortable, and really love living here. If Penny were to move here, I’m not sure what area she intends to live in, but I feel that if it’s in a metropolitan area, she will find that life is comfortable for her.
Anyway, Penny, I promised that I would comment on this, and I hope that you feel that what I said is adequate to help you. I wish you the best of luck when you decide to move here to the Philippines. Anytime that I can be of assistance to you, feel free to e-mail me.
Morning Bob,
Can't say I saw any white (western) women whilst I was in Davao – but I suppose it depends entirely upon the circles in which you move. I saw a few western males – mainly in the big malls/supermarkets and obviosly in the western-oriented taverns (I hate a beer!). I also walked the streets as much as I could (bloody hot and ended up in a sweat by the time I got to where I was going (probably the tavern))! I felt I would get a better feel for the place if I took the time to walk and investigate everything.You can't take everything in from a vehicle. I feel also that a white female would be more the centre of attention but also that she should be safe with the basic precautions you should observe anywhere. It's hard not to stand out when you don't have black hair and are way taller than everyone else, if nothing else!
Hi AussieLee – generally, if I go to SM I will see three or four white women there (of course, I'm talking about SM Davao). I agree with you though, I don't think it's a big safety concern, as long as the normal precautions are taken.
I feel infinitly safer walking around Cebu, Manila, Davao than I would in any major city in the USA.. but I always find out which areas NOT to go to also..as u said Bob…take a commonsense approach.
Hi Brian – yes, common sense is a very powerful thing, isn't it?
Hi Bob, The last time I was in Manila I had the pleasure of meeting two women that were British. They worked in Manila and had lived there for a few years. They told they totally loved living in Manila. Is that safety? I don't know but I cannot imagine women saying that unless they felt comforable. Ron
Hi Ron LaFleur – yes, it would seem that they certainly felt safe. I can't imagine and living in fear somewhere and loving the place after all!
Bob
I recently moved my family from Orange County California 3 months ago after 25 years, to permanently live here in the Philippines (Manila area). I made the move for so many reasons but we all agree its all about the lifestyle upgrade. In America an OFW is treated like a convicted exported slave to be used by the institution to boost the profit margin at their emotional and physical expense.
In terms of safety, we avoid danger just like we would in the US with basic common sense. Our biggest safety concern was driving here in the Philippines. Driving is so dangerous especially if yor are not familiar with an area. Do not bother asking for directions because the directions will (even in english) sound like a foreign language because of the local terms they use. I also do not ask for directions because when locals see foreigners they automatically think very rich (compared to them at least)with lots of cash bulging out of their pockets. Most of the people hanging around the streets to ask directions from are unemployed (tambay) and just loittering. Don't get me wrong, I am not generalizing tambays, as a a matter of fact some of my best friends are tambay. If you ask people for directions, 99.9% of the tambays are cordial, polite, and accomodating. But all it takes is that one incident and I can not take that risk for the sake my family. Carjackings will probably increase in occurance as more people become more desperate due to deteriorating inflationary economic conditions.
That is why the first thing I looked for during my move was a Global Positioning System (gps) device to help me navigate the mean streets of Manila. I was told by several reputable sources that the technology is not available here. But I still searched everyday high and low for 3 months with dead end results. So as most expats do when they need something and is not available, we go ahead and create it ourselves. So I started a company that will bring GPS to the masses. So with GPS in hand (or in car) we will unite and take back these streets. We will stare danger in the face, smile, and take back what is ours for redemption is mine (inspirational music playing in the background). You can visit the website http://www.gpsinthephilippines.com for contact info or visit the youtube link at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAUfmTqGKck
Sorry for the shameless plug but it was an ends to a means.
Bob you have a great website and I visit it daily. Good luck to all and Godspeed.
Mark http://www.gpsinthephilippines.com
When I was living in Davao, I had a few guests who would classify as caucasian women. Some of them were cousins or relatives (I have Irish roots, so I end up with a mixed variation of relatives).
In Davao, there may be some curious looks but all in all I would not be concerned about it. Manila should be no problem at all.
In fact, one of my cousins, in here late 20's-early 30's (blue eyes, lighter colored hair & fairly attractive) enjoyed taking in new hobbies with different groups of pinoys (She lived in Davao for 2 years in the late 90s).
This included diving all over the Philippines (including among whale sharks), climbed Mt Apo (she hated that) & even learned to dance the swing.
She wasn't the type who would isolate herself with the upper income group & mingled with the regular folk. She even considered filming a documentary about traveling all over Mindanao.
It was mostly among the older & conservative Pinoys who felt nervous & protective about her travels. But for us, she was enjoying life & we admired the fact that she was eager to learn about the culture beyond the guilded walls many hosts put up for foreign guests (especially young attractive ones).
She wasn't the only foreign female guests who did this. Another person that comes to mind was a female turkish wife of a friend. Early 20's and gorgeous. She went everywhere & enjoyed the beaches a lot. A delight to be with.
I say pick the right people to hang out with, know your environment & just use common sense. And always remember that it is a 3rd world country & there are socio-issues that come with that.
I sound like a broken record with those last 2 sentences, but it really is true.
Hi Mark GPS – Thanks for your information. Frankly, I am shocked that you say that Filipinos are treated badly in the United States. Do you have any stories that you can share on this, because my experience has been the opposite.
I don't mind you putting your URL when you post a comment, but the way you did it goes a bit overboard, and if I was a potential customer, it would turn me off, it just seems so spammy. When you post a comment, your site is linked through your name, and thus everybody has a chance to review your site.
Hi macky – Good tips there, and I enjoyed hearing about your cousin who stayed here for a couple of years. The way you describe her, I believe that she and I have some similarities. 😆
Thanks again for sharing your comments, macky.
bob
that is why i launched a pre emptive apology at the end of the entry in case i violated any forum etiquette
mark
An interesting discussion. A few months ago one of my Filipino sisters-in-law how is a long-term US resident (and now citizen) came home for a vist and brought a female companion with he (say in here mid-40s), a lady born and raised in Pennsylvania who had never been out of the US before. The freind, Gerri, absolutely loved it here, she even liked driving here, I was worried I ha dlost my car for god because she was always borrowing it LoL.
We never discussed personal safety directly, but she told me that she had been very uneasy about coming to the Philippines at all, but by the end of her short visit she was not only looking forward to her next vsit but had put the Philippines high on her list of places to retire.
She wuld take our yung nephews everywhere with her, exploring the neighborhood on their own and finding things for sale that the family never even know about after living in the same house 20 years.
I just saw a US-lady on TV last night who runs an animal rescue ckinic in Laguna (just south of Metro-Manila), a white owman probably in her late 50'se/early 60'sds wh had retired from a State Department job here and never looked back … she felt she had been blessed to learn and grow so much more in her love of animals than she wuld have been able to do in the US based on her modest means.
Isolated and inconclusive examples to be sure, but my admittedly male (but white) feeling is an American woamn has nothing more t be concerned about that an American male.
Hi Mark GPS – I understand…. just laying out the ground rules! 😆
Hi Dave Starr – Thanks for some great examples there. I personally feel that a foreign woman can have things to fear in limited areas, but in most parts of the Philippines, I agree completely that there is nothing more for a woman to worry about than a man. One thing that might be more pronounced to a woman is a sense of being different, or of loneliness, as she will be more unusual than a foreign man here. It's not really safety, but just an experience that she might expect.
Hi Bob – interesting observations. I remember seeing a couple of caucasian females during our visit there a few months ago. I don't recall if that was in Davao or Manila, but I remember thinking to myself that it was the first time that I had seen white females in all my trips there. That may be somewhat a matter of the areas where I visited and what I was doing, but they are definitely a little unique. I had forgotten about that until your column today.
I wonder what they would have thought in the province. I was a pretty rare sight as it was.
bob
im surprised you find it shocking how badly filipinos are being treated in the united states
maybe because u have been up in your ivory tower for so long that you forget the daily cruel reality people working overseas have to deal with
you forget that this world smiles at white people and extends them previliges that other people are denied
what is ok for a white person to do casually can be criminal offense if committed by a filipino or other minority
in the united states if you are working for a company or business and if anything goes wrong or something goes missing most likely they will blame filipinos first and assume guilt by association until proven innocent
and ofw's everywhere understand what it is like to work twice as hard as the whitey but when it comes to incentives and promotions they are only reserved for whitey
the only filipinos they promote to supervisor position are the sellouts that would gladly step on their kind to please the whitey
dont get me wrong some of my best friends are whiteys and these things i say only apply to my own experience and mine alone
that is why filipinos everywhere overseas daydream about one thing and that is coming back because if they dont let their mind escape they might end up shooting their boss and stabbing their kids
so some come back but many dont
i am sorry if i offended anyone but many can relate to my experience
and dont forget to buy your loved one a gps they make great x-mas gifts or stocking stuffers
mark (self designated forum violator) http://www.gpsinthephilippines.com
bob
oops sorry for hijacking your safety article (another violation) and turning it into a filipino overseas misery index discussion but in my depense u did ask
mark
MarkGPS – not really sure where your observations are from. I've been all over the US for over a decade & have worked in over 10 jobs in various fields. I also took my chances & got myself a college degree on my own.
Like you said, they're your observations. But here's mine.
My observations are that in terms of racial discrimination, the pinoys actually get along pretty well with the "locals". I'm not alone in this, I know many, many pinoys all over the country from various generations & believe me, racial discrimination is not an major issue. It's out there, I am sure, but not enough to be a major talking point.
in fact, did you know that a study came out that showed Filipinos are #2 in highest household average income for immigrants? (SF Chronicle)
In fact, the most discrimination I've seen against pinoys here are from other pinoys themselves. that class discrimination brought overseas.
oh, and that quote "some of my best friends are whiteys"…. whiteys? Not really very appropriate when you are talking about equality here.
Bob – I think I bit on the offtopic here. my fault. Had to reply since this had me scratching my head.
Hi Bob
Where I live in Misamis Occidental, if I saw another white man I would almost run to get my camera not to mind a white lady 😆
I am definitely major minority in my town (only me), but for safety, I wouldn't have a problem or feel threatened in any way, either day or night.
Jack
Hi Randy C – Yes, I wonder what the reaction would be in M'lang! Ha ha… that could be interesting! I predict that a white woman would be somewhat of a celebrity there!
Hi Mark GPS – Wow. Your experience and mine are not the same. My Filipina wife lived in the States for 10 years, and while we experienced some minor racism on one or two occasions, it was very rare, and subtle.
When you start talking about "whitey" – Mark, that is a racist term. At least it is in my book. Perhaps your experiences come from getting what you dish out, I don't know.
On the last job where I worked before leaving the United States, there were lots of Minority people who were supervisors and management level people, including Filipinos and other Asians.
You sound like a pretty angry guy, Mark. I am sorry that you had bad experiences, and I wish you nothing but the best.
By the way, if you wish to buy advertising on my site, let me know, but please stop putting ads in your comments. I will not ask again, this is the last time.
Hi Mark GPS – You did not violate any policy with your comment. It is just part of the discussion, and as you say, I asked the question.
Hello Bob,
I would like to comment on Mark. From what I understand Bob was speaking from his own experience. But to all Filipinos experince what you have obviously experienced would have to be a gross over statement of the facts. Some people always treat another cultures very badly and that happens in every country not just western sociaties. To find a country not guilty of it, you would have to move to a different planet with no people on it.
So Mark take the chip of your shoulder and accept as a learning experience, do not blame every white person for that experience.
Steven
Hi macky – Your experience pretty much mirrors what Feyma experienced when she lived in the States. No problem about going off-topic, I am the one who asked the question after all! 😆
Hi Jack – I was in Ozamiz City a while back and saw quite a few white people there. I guess it really depends on the town, though, and you probably live in a more rural part of the Province!
macky
thanks for the response
i was wondering if someone was going to give me any validation out there
look the term whitey is to describe the oppressor and provoke a response
i could have said cracker or peckerwood but no one would understand what i was talking about
the fact that you can have 10 different jobs in different fields at a young age says to me that you have the previlage of having that luxury
understand the people i am talking about stay in the same job for 10 to 20 years even though they hate it soo much that it makes their blood curl but they can not afford the luxury of trying different jobs to see if i like this or that
and dont snowball people here with studies just to prove your point because just wait a few seconds and somebody else will come up with a study to counter that
you have to consider who does these studies and what is their hidden agenda
besides being second richest of the poor people is not an even comparison
in terms of class discrimination
at least you can change classes but you can never change the color of your skin
mark (the filipino malcom X)
Hi Steven – I have to say that I really agree with you on this. I think that having a bad attitude attracts negative responses, so it is somewhat to be expected. I have experienced things here in the Philippines that I feel were racially motivated, but I don't take it as the norm. Bad things happen in every country, as you say.
bob
ok bob see what you did
this is the last time i go off topic
by the way comments like bad attitudes and chips on shoulders are personal attacks towards a specific individual and should not be tolerated to maintain an atmosphere of professional conduct
mark (power to the brown people)
like you said if you have something negative to say about an individual do it privately not on a public forum because it does not add anything to a good discussion
Hi Mark GPS – I have not seen any comments that were unwarranted, nor are they personal attacks. When people say that you have a chip on your shoulder or a bad attitude, it is simply a statement of fact, based on the comments that you posted. You say that such comments should not be tolerated. Honestly, this is my site, and I will be the one to decide what is tolerated here, and that is how it should be. If you don't like the way the comments are here, nobody is forcing you to stay. Frankly, I hope that you will stay and join a more civilized discussion, but it is your choice.
you see this is typical white(look i took out the Y see the big difference) response never acknowledging their mistake stating that it is fact when words like angry bad attitude and chips on shoulder are obviously a matter of opinion which would be pointless to discuss further
then you pull out that hey this is my site i can do whatever i want to
this is my site i can set the rules
is that how it works in here
you see someone with an opposing legitimate view point then you say they are uncivilized, angry, chips and shoulder and have the gall to say that it is fact based on what they say
i think what is next is you need to ban and censor me so you can exercise your almighty power
Hi Mark GPS – I don't know what your problem is, nobody attacked you and you really started swinging. Indeed, this is my site, and you are free to create your own. I do allow opposing opinions, and I even like that, because it creates a good discussion. However, your attacks go too far. Indeed, I have put your account on moderation so that I can review future comments that you post and approve them (or not). I am sorry for that, but you seem to have forced me to do so.
Hi Bob,
Where does Penny plan on living? With the growth of the call center industry there are more westerners in Cebu working for extended periods of time. I would think the same holds true for Manila. When I am in Cebu, I see a lot of white women and men in the malls. More in Ayala than SM but still a significant number. Most are European, a few American or Canadian. Even on the Jeepney's I see more and more westerners.
Hi George – I am not certain where Penny plans to live, but I think it is somewhere in Luzon. I agree with you, there are a lot more white people in the Philippines than some years back!
Bob 1
Mark GPS 0
Hi Bob,
I read your column and enjoy it every day. I am a white English lady over 65 and almost 6ft tall. I visited Davao twice in the last 6 years to see my family and each time I felt I was the only white person apart from one Australian business lady in the same hotel. I did feel very nervous (rightly or wrongly) walking around the town and in the shopping malls. I hope to visit again next year. Good Luck to Klaus. When are you expecting your Mother to visit again Bob?
Hi Laurence – Ha ha… I didn't realize we were keeping score! 😆
Hi nana lee – My mother has talked about visiting around Christmas time this year, but it's not certain yet.
Even though you felt nervous, you must have like it here, as you are looking forward to your return! What brought you to Davao? Do you have family here?
Hello Mark GPS,
My remarks were directed at you because you bought up the rascist and un-informd remarks remarks. I was just passing on my experience and knowledge to you.
Steven
Hello Bob,
Safety in my opinion would not be much of an issue ,but I think most caucasian women may have a much harder time getting acclimated to the humid weather, food and the culture. Most of the white men that I have met in Cebu tended to be ex-military and others were civilian that have had some experience living in other places other than the USA.So the transition was made so much easier. Women tend to come directly from the US. Anyway,if the woman is attractive enough , oh you can forget about getting lonely there .
Hi Julius – Haha… why is it that good looking people are never lonely? 😆
Hi bob,
According to the U.S. State Department statistic, in 2007 there are approximately 250,000 americans living in the philippines, and nearly 400,000 americans visitor each year, the question is?? how many female americans (in percentage) of that figure who might feel safe coming to the philippines and those who don't.
that is the problem with too many islands, you can't find the rest of 250,000 americans, hahaha they probably have their own paradise and you can't see them in the open. just kidding… 🙂
Sorry for prolonging this, but a comment was sent my way.
MarkGPS – I am in no way demeaning what you have said you experienced. I am simply stating an opposing viewpoint without, take note, using what may be seen as racially derogatory terms.
when you wrote:
"the fact that you can have 10 different jobs in different fields at a young age says to me that you have the previlage of having that luxury" – it shows you are also placing a presumption on who I am. I came to the US by myself at 21 & worked my way through college (with the help of a college loan).
Those 10 jobs ranged from the minimum wage (restaurant busboy, waiter) to other things like corporate (hotel staff, insurance, title companies). retail (sales rep & graveyard shift stock associate) & even non-profit (inner-city after school teacher in Oakland for the homeless). All that while working for that degree & paying rent money.
So, even as I don't pretend to know what you've seen, based on my experience what you have said sounds a little off-base.
Trying to to bait posters with words like 'whitey", "cracker" & "the filipino malcom-x" (who by the way espoused racial unity by 1965 -try to broaden your mind past Hollywood movies), shows you just want to go on attack mode & not want a healthy discussion of the topic.
Listen, I like it when other Pinoys join the discussions & show strong opinions. It breaks any stereotype one may have of Pinoys, but your talk just sounds like baiting & going after people of a certain background… Add the tacky sales pitch for your website (sorry, had to be said) and it don't look good, brother. Just being honest, 'pre.
Final note: Not to be favorable to the site owner, but I've commented on this site for some time now & believe me, Bob & I don't usually share the same view. Sometime about politics (almost polar opposites), sometimes just mundane stuff. But the guy respects my opinion.
A little civility & a better choice of words would help get your message across.
Hi dans – That's a lot of Americans, Dans! I didn't realize there were that many living in the Philippines!
Hi macky – There is absolutely no reason to be sorry for posting your response. Niether you nor I took the discussion where it is now, but this is where it has gone. You know, I think that you and I agree more than you think we do. A lot of my thinking has been morphing over the last few years anyway, so I may come full circle!
Hi Bob,
I have a daughter in law there and grandchildren. I absolutely love Davao, the culture, the people and after a busy working life in England and caring for elderly relatives the relaxing way of life. I hope one day when I only have myself to consider I can retire there.
Hi nana lee – That's very nice, Nana Lee. Next time you come to Davao, please contact me, I'll buy you a cup of coffee!
Hi Bob – I kind of noticed. But I still like to say that there are differences, just because it's a nice point to use.
By the way, back to foreign women in Davao, you probably noticed a lot of older foreign women who have settled there decades ago when they younger & when the city was not very developed. Some from countries like Lebanon, Colombia, US & India. Their families have now grown & are now perceived as local names.
A different time but another example to point at.
Thank you Bob I look forward to that.
hi bob,
Amazing isn't it? 250,000 americans? well.. that is what the state department said, who knows? anyways, if the figure is accurate then there's a lot of you (americans) hiding in their own little paradise… 🙂
Hi macky – 😆 Yes, I think what you say is right, not only of women, but foreign men too.
@ Macky — Interesting information, thanks for the stories about your relations traveling about in Mindanao. It helps present a balanced picture.
@ mark — wow, I wonder here your overall impression as to how Filipino OFW's are treated in the US came from. I for one would be interested in knowing more. The ones I have met seem to have the impression they get treated alot better in the US thna they do here in the Philippines.
two quick points on your comment that confused me, perhaps you can clarify:
1. I get the idea you just moved your family to Orange county, California after 25 years here in the Manila area? Did I get that right? I may have run afoul of the 'here' and 'there' references, sorry.
2. When you say 'some of my best friends are tambay' … you may not think so yourself, but you are exhibiting classic racial/socioeconomic exclusionary language … as in the phrase which used to be oh some common in the US. 'some of my best freinds are Negroes', etc.
Here in the Philippines we aren't nearly as "Politically Correct" as they are in California … you can say those sorts of statements here, in California you might get a discrimination complaint lodged against you … you may be in for some reverse culture shock.
3. Unless my income were to be suffenly increased dramatically by making the move, it would be awfully hard to convince me that movingfrom the Philippines to Southern California would entail an improvement in lefestyle. Feel free to elaborate on what you find better in Southern California than here in the Philippines, I'm always open to learning.
Hi nana lee – Me too! 😆
Hi dans – I think you are right on that, dans! I think a lot of the Kano's here must be hiding out! 😆
Hi Dave Starr – I think you mis-read what Mark GPS wrote. He said that he moved his family from California (after living there 25 years) to live permanently in Manila. At least that is the way that I read it.
Hi
I am female, blond and white and aside from being treated with curiosity sometimes there is little difference from being anywhere else. I live in Davao. You are more accepted in Manila than Davao because there are more white women there. You do occasionally have to repeat what you are saying because the sales girl is so busy telling you you are beautiful, that is not a bad thing at all….(all need an ego boost). (and Julius, sometimes its just the fair skin that does it, and to think of all the years I tried to get a tan 😆 )
I have NEVER felt threatened in any way. Almost the opposite, the men here are very courtious and protective. I pretty much go where I want to but the same as in any country I wouldnt go into unsafe areas.
But I do feel isolated sometimes. I get on very well with all the Philippino girls I have met but as your previous language post, there is a difference in humour etc. Was in Manila last week with a group of French expats and their humour is more like ours and it was a treat chatting to the "white" women.
This is not ment to be insulting to any Philippino ladies at all please. It is just different.
I also think it depends on how you treat local people. I am here as a guest and try to remember that. I saw a very rude white "lady" in Manila and she was not treated at all well. She deserved it.
On the whole aside from missing other female company (my Fiance now has to listen to all my daily drivel) I am very happy here.
Carolynn
Hi Carolynn – Thank you so much for your comment. Honestly, everything you describe is almost exactly as I expected it would be here for a foreign woman. I appreciate hearing your views, and hope that you will participate more often on the site!
Pleasure, I have found out alot here, and would love to share. know there are 1000's of sites on all the "important" things like bank accounts, but my worst was figuring out which washing powder and toilet paper to buy. Very different perspective on life…I do try, just been traveling alot just lately and the internet a bit dodgy. This time I could have got to internet cafes at Landmark etc but have a laptop that needs a wheel barrow to carry around so gave that up as a bad job and mall trawelled instead. Missed reading your site though.
Hi Carolynn – Although I am sorry you missed the site – I'm happy to hear your compliment! 😆 thank you very much.
Hi all! We are traveling in Europe, but I have internet right now and felt I must make a comment on this topic, since I have been a white female in Mindanao for some 20 years. Not a single, white female, but I think I can still comment on this.
I have found that people treat me with respect and feel protective towards me. I would say my local friends are more concerned for my safety than I am. The same rules for safety apply hear as anywhere; carry you bag in a way that makes it hard to snatch, put your cell phone out of sight when not in use, be aware of the people around you, and don't go out alone in lonely areas after dark.
I do feel like I stick out in the crowd. I am looked (stared) at and commented upon, and even though I know it is not negative, I do feel self-conscious. For this reason I do not go out and exercise, and it is also too hot. Being a foreigner, I am more targeted by beggars, so I try to carry packets of cookies to give, rather than coins.
Many people are a little nervous about meeting or being faced with talking to a foreigner, but most people are also very ready and willing to help someone who is friendly, respectful and asks politely. Being friendly and approachable and willing to laugh at our mistakes will make you someone people will want to get to know more. As a general rule, Filipinos like having foreign friends and consider it an honor of sorts.
Married to a Filipino you will find your place in the family may be somewhat different than what you might expect as a daughter-in-law in an American family, but that is a cultural lesson for another post!
Penny, I wish you well and certainly hope you come and enjoy your life in the Philippines!
Hi AmericanLola – Very nice to hear from you! I hope that you and AmericanLolo are enjoying your vacation! Thank you much for commenting on this particular topic, because you have lived the words that you used, and know the answers to the questions being asked.
I think the only safety issue a white femal has to worry about is her male partner. in filippines, boys having gfs is a status symbol and sport.
but of course there is 1 in 985,056 chance that a particular bf will not do this. my advice, don't ever marry him if you fear safety of mind. just live her as bf/gf and enjoy it. once you get married, your filipino husband will never be seen again (or seen all over town bars). perhaps this is the real reason why there is so few foreign women living in philippines with filipino partner.
oh, khaye. why so much bitterness in your posts? they always leave me shaking my head. i'm pooped replying here.
Hi khaye – I will say that it does seem like a lot of Filipino men have girlfriends. However, I am not sure that it actually happens more here than elsewhere, maybe it is just more out in the open. Also, I don't think that it is anywhere nearly as severe as what you are saying.
Hi macky – I hear you, my friend! 😆
Hi Bob and All.
The Safety for Female discussion, got interestingly sidetracked by
Mark GPS´ position. 😀
Suffice it to say, that anywhere in this world, there are good and
bad people, kind and cruel. Generally, the good outnumbers
and outweighs the bad. Our perceptions and attitudes in life
however, are shaped and colored by our personal experiences.
But always, we have the power to choose which shape do
we mold ourselves into, or what color do we choose to see
and paint our world with.
Before, as a single Asian female, I used to travel alone to different countries in Asia, the US and Europe and never had any unpleasant incidents even as I go around different areas with just a map to guide me by, or, the ever low tech, asking people for directions. I even made friends along the way and heard some of their interesting life stories. Also, being born and bred in Davao, after I got my university diploma, I went to work and lived alone in Manila and later, Makati. I have no family or relatives to fall back on for support in these cities.
Through all these, I had certain guidelines which I adhered to
to keep me safe:
1. Be friendly and respectful of people, rich or poor, young or old. Generally, you get what you give.
2. Trust your instincts and logic, if facts are not available.
3. Do not trust fully strangers immediately no matter how friendly
they seem to you. Most are real and authentic , but one wolf in a sheep´s clothing slipping through is enough to shatter one´s safe world.
4. No drinking with the boys, no matter how nice they appear
to be. Just say you´re allergic to alcohol.
5. No walking alone at night in unsavory places, or venturing
into remote or slum areas even at day time unaccompanied by trustworthy person/s who know the place and its people.
6. Ask your friends or family, or the people native to the place,
where it is safe or unsafe to go, until you are more familiar with
the place to know and decide for yourself.
7. Have in handy always contact numbers of your friends and/or family in the area, your embassy´s emergency hotline, the local
police and hospital, even a lawyer for worst case scenarios.
In the Philippines, big cities like Makati, Quezon and Cebu have
bigger concentration of white females. In Makati City especially,
you can easily see them in the shopping areas, clubs, hotel and restaurant areas in the Ayala center (especially Greenbelt area),
The Fort and Rockwell center.
So, you´re right Bob, unless Penny is one who can be happy
with a rural lifestyle, she would find it more comfortable living
in big cities, including Davao city, of course. Or, if in the suburbs,
at least the more developed ones, if she wants to be close to comfortable amenities.
In Luzon, I suggest places like Sta. Rosa, Calamba and Tagaytay. These have really nice middle to upper class housing and leisure developments, but closer to nature, laidback and less crowded.
Hi i.m. schneider – Thank you very much for sharing your comments. Honestly, you really offer some sage advice there, and I am sure that it will be appreciated.
Unfortunately this isnt a totally philippino trait. It happens everywhere to a degree. And Macky yes it is sad when there is so much bitterness ( not getting at you Khaye)
It is one of the saddest things to watch someone fall victim to fear and lack of security in their own home. I have watched it happen in complete disbelief.
I don't understand the shift when people get married, perhaps complacency (my spelling is bad, how about a spell check Bob??? ) or a false sense of security? Whatever the reason, it is indeed very bad. Devistating for the victim and mindblowingly frustrating for the family.
But really Bob's post started as "normal" security and hats off to Americanlola. I hope I get to meet you when you are back. We seem to have the same sentiments.
Ok i am not a "proper" expat, only here for a year or two, but I think that we are all viewed the same when we are out and about. And I personally think it is a privalage that we are able to share a country with the local people. I also think we should, through a forum like this, be able to help each other. Bob you start off subjects with the best intentions and they turn into a bun fight time and again. Possibly one reason I read and dont comment.
Macky, I can understand your "poopedness" but maybe Khaye just needs friends to "vent" (isnt that a nice term). Have read all your posts and you are really a nice level headed person.
This directed at all:
I do love all the comments here, get my brain going. But don't blame the Pilippines for all life's evils, it is as good a place as any. I have a really long winded story I will share with anyone about a person moving to a new town…. there is no good or bad where you are, it really is as you want it to be.
For whatever reason we moved here, find the good, and try to make less of the bad.
Hi Carolynn – good comment, nice sentiments there, and some good real-life things to think about.
Regarding the fact that sometimes arguments break out in the comment threads… it does happen, but not so often, really. If you look at a lot of forums and such, these kinds of fights break out in many, many threads. On this site, it only really happens from time to time. Really, this particular column got into it, but it wasn't even related to the subject matter of the column.
Spell checker? Hmm… I'll see what I can do.
Thanks my friend. Need a spell check rome naht you know….
Hi Bob and Carolynn (not met Carolynn yet but already we are friends (is that right carolynn??, internet friends from this site) Bob, Crolynn from RSA as i think you know) i have met racism working and living in africa and it isn't pretty,
when ann, my Filipina wife moved to uk (we lived there for 3 years) i asked her regularly when she was starting life there, were there any racial problems like Feyma's experience in the US, not saying there were no problems but basically THERE were no problems, do problems only occur when you look for them? i try not to be too blind by pretending they don't exist and they do but on the whole i think people, US, UK, or Philippinesa are very tolerant, don't you"?
Hi rick b – Yes, like you said, when we lived in the States, Feyma did experience a few very minor racial incidents, but VERY minor. In fact, when it came to work, she actually did very well, was much sought after by employers, etc. Everybody's experiences are different, but I also feel that each person's attitude will dictate how they are treated as well. I know that I have experienced that myself here. When I go in with the wrong attitude, the results that I get are to be expected.
I wish some of you stop using the phrase "it happens anywhere in the world". If it happens everywhere, why even have a topic discussing safety of white woman in philippines? her safety or danger is same here as in everywehre else? there are definitely things here different than other parts of theworld. married men have gfs all over the world but less open than philippines? that's a laugh. in u.s. a new york governor resigned from post due sex with prostitute. here, that would never happen. precisely bcause its everywehre in philippines. its not everywehre in the world wehre we consider "developed". sorry, but try not to defend philipines every chance you get. that makes you look defensive.
what if this was a forum in the U.s. and we are talking about u.s. security. are we to say that oh well, crimes happen everywhere in the world. look at philippines. it happens over there too! well, if someone said that to me, i would say are you crazy?
The plain fact is u.s. insurers wont even give life insurance to us citizens who reside in philippines. and IF they do, its so expensive than 1 year living expenses. are insurance companies crazy? or plainly discriminating against philippines because there are crimes everywhere and they dont see it that way? i think not. i am sure insurance companies are well aware of all kindss of statics that people on this forum have no knowledge of.
so i hope we stop the pharase oh well it happens everywhere because this pharase is so uninformed so throw in the towel simpleton comment.
what we should be doing is to dive into each topic in great deal and weed out fact versus myths for philippines and philippines only.
what i said about boys having gfs on the side as status symbol and sport and bragging rights to fellow boys is a real fact. its is a part of the macho society. guns is another status symbol and sport and bragging rights. and yes guns go off much more here than in the u.s. after a night of party.
remember the rcbc bank massacre that killed 8 people? how many days was it in the news? and how much coverage it get? if this happes in u.s. u will see it almost 24houss a day and for weeks at least! here it lasted maybe 2 or 3 days, and on to another deadly incident. crimes are so common here including deadly ones that it hardly makes the news unlss it is really big, and if only then a couple of days or so. people here are numbed to deadly deaths and murders. like people are numbed to the noise of tricycles and pollution. people think this is normal here. it really isn't of course, we are just forced to deal with it and after a while, we get numbed.
whatever happened to the big corruption cases facing the president? see? its gone. numb.
Hi Khaye,
Are you a Filipino? Or a Filipino-born/bred but now a US citizen residing in the Philippines?
I'm curious — because, of course, all our experiences and background eventually shape our perspective and our world view. So I'm trying to understand your "background" and hopefully it will help me understand where you're coming from.
Best Regards to you.
Filipina born/bred, a US citizen and US resident
Penny,
If you're reading this blog, my 2 cents is to assess the living situation in the Philippines by being there (hopefully for a while) before you get married. Get immersed in the culture, live with the locals, hopefully in the geographical location where you hope to relocate to.
Having a 2-week vacation won't cut it. Live there, breathe-in the atmosphere, acclimate yourself.
It definitely can be an enjoyable place (addressing the "loneliness" aspect of your concerns). If you're one who is open to "new" experiences, then there'll be plenty. And if you're busy integrating new changes and welcoming them as part of your own personal evolution, how can you be "lonely"…
Being a "Peace Corps" in the Philippines maybe one way of being there, living there, w/o committing to "permanently being there" yet. That will allow you to live there (what a year or two?) and really give you a genuine sampling of Philippine life.
(I suggested the Peace Corps because I receive a postcard from them once in a while — inviting me to look into the opportunity…)
Best Regards to you, Penny, and everyone in the forum.
-Filipina reader
hello bob
wow what a wide range of comments here.i think penny will be fine in philippines.if she has a good man and wants to be wed then more power to her.i have to say bob that you certainly can get some comments with articles like this.
viva la philippines
salamat bob
Hi Bob!
I wondered whatever happened to http://visayas.p7107.com . You've made a great impression there! Why did you stop? Do you have another site for Capiz news updates?
Please explain coz I really appreciate what you had going then. Thanks and God Bless!
Khaye
You come across as very angry, not at all sure why, you have some points to make, which are right off topic but you make them as if they are very important, perhaps they are important to you, but not to me, i am british and this is not a Philippine / US comparison site, so, really what is the point of attacking somebodies phraseology, have a cold beer, calm down and life will seem better
Hi khaye – I am not defending the Philippines, I am simply stating my opinion, as you are. There is no problem with stating an opinion – our opinions just tend to be on opposite ends.
Hi ecstasy – will you make some very good points there. And you are fully correct staying here for two weeks does not tell you what it's like to live here, that's something I've said many times on this site.
Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment!
Hi Ron W – indeed there are a lot of comments on this post, aren't there? The more comments, the better, because it makes for a good discussion.
Hi John – unfortunately, I worked on that site for about two years, but it was a losing proposition moneywise. It never made enough income to pay for itself, and was costing me money, so I decided to shut it down. I simply can't afford to pay staff to work on projects that lose money. Not enough readers supported the site by supporting advertisers, so I chose to shut it down.
hi bob
i have been reading your site for a while. i introduced my husband chris to it. it was nice t hear from american lola. when she gets back to the philippines, i hope she will write for your site again.
Hi maria – thank you for letting your husband know about the site, I hope you found it useful and informative. Don't we'll see, America Lola will be back when she returns to the Philippines. Perhaps she'll even write an article or two before she gets back.
Bob,
Foreign females are as safe here as any others. I have an American woman as a neighbor and she has been living here for a good 8 years or so. I also happen to know 2 other "white" females that live in Bohol. They like living here and tell me they feel a lot safer here then they ever did back stateside.
Hi Mike K. – I agree, Mike. Thanks for sharing your knowledge on the topic.
i dont usally respond to such ignorance but this southern cali person mark, touched a vain, or nerve in me and i will prey for you mark and for your children that they dont display your way of thinking and that u can find peace in your heart, god bless
Hi laviaomaha – Thanks for your comment.