HEY YOU! ‘Bro!

(PREFACE NOTE:  To be fair, I will state for the record that SMART does care and generally does listen to its customers.  They’ve established social media services on Twitter @ Smartcares and willingly accept comments regarding customer concerns via e-mail at ISMS@smart.com.ph )

As much as I’d like it to be, this is not an “Open Letter to SMART Bro.”  It’s more like venting my frustrations than anything else.  I mean, I’ve been pretty doggone patient and understanding over these past four months.  Things seem to have arrived at a point, however, where I am starting to feel as though someone is taking advantage of my patience and understanding, and ignoring their duty to fulfill their contract to the best of their ability.

I am at a precipice, delicately balancing all considerations while trying to maintain that patient and understanding outlook on my current situation.

Perhaps the flood of SMART Bro commercials appearing on the various local television channels or playing endlessly on the local radio stations has tossed a little imbalance into the game.  I can still hear the “Nine out of Ten” claims echoing from the sala.

Well, here’s a “shout out” from that “One out of Ten”!

Local ‘Bro is Outstanding

I’ve no beef with those members of the SMART Bro organization here in my municipality and in the provincial capital of Laoag City.  They have served me extremely well.

Signing on for SMART’s broadband internet service was simple and without any hassle or tedious wait.  Courteous, friendly, and beaming with customer service, the personnel at the local PLDT office really took good care of my application and me.  I went out of my way to pass my commendations to them personally and to their managers in their presence.  I wish all business people I deal with in The Philippines were so considerate and caring.

The local technical team quickly responded to the internet connectivity problems that unexpectedly popped up during the past four months and resolved them well beyond my best expectations.  Like anyone inconvenienced, I had wished the team to have shown up and cured the internet ailments “yesterday,” but I did realize that I had a definite place on their list of repairs and found their response time to more than make up for any inconvenience I experienced.  Cures were solid and sure.  I couldn’t ask for more.  Here, again, I made sure that I mentioned my complete and total satisfaction with the team’s efforts and their prompt problem resolutions when completing the follow-on “How’s our service?” survey.

The Gripes Begin Here, ‘Bro

I must reiterate – I’ve no problems with the local SMART Bro organization.  They’re tops in my book.  They’ve done and continue to do their job efficiently, effectively and with the customer foremost in their professional minds.

Outside of those local stalwarts of good service, there’s a problem – a BIG, SMART Bro problem.  I know there must be people elsewhere in the national organization, but they lay low and pretty much reside below the radar or off the radar screen.  The problem appears systemic.

Not having a landline, I’ve more than once used up my (Globe) cell phone loads contacting SMART’s “toll free” customer service number in Manila, being placed on hold for “just one moment, sir,” and watching my cell pesos pay for my “enjoyment” of the latest SMART Bro advertisements playing in my phone’s earpiece.

Even the simple joy of talking to a human being seems tainted.  One “customer service” clerk, upon hearing of my being unable to use the internet, suggested that I download this or that software tool from the SMART Bro website and that would undoubtedly help me.  DUH!  I would if I could connect to the website!  (The software tools, by the way, don’t help – they won’t work properly if one can’t establish a connection via the internet.)

I’m afraid the best “customer service” technical advice I’ve received via my cell phone was an honest response from a young woman who apparently hadn’t been with the organization long enough to pick up their “techniques”:  “I’m sorry, sir, you’ll just have to wait until your internet comes back!”

Beyond the SMART Telecommunications Tower

ATTENTION SMART Bro – lost service doesn’t “come back” just like that.  In fact, lost service doesn’t come back at all.  It’s gone!  POOF! It’s lost forever in the ether, never to come back.  Service can be restored but, once lost, can never be recovered.

My contract states that I will receive unlimited internet connectivity 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so long as I keep my account current.  Well, I HOPE TO SHOUT that I WOULD CONSIDER MYSELF LUCKY if I have ever received a day or two’s worth of 24 continuous, uninterrupted hours of internet connectivity since I’ve started using SMART Bro.  Patient?  Yes.  Understanding?  Most definitely.  Tired of poor service?  YOU BETCHA!

I understand that these past few months have been plagued with the type of weather conditions that prowl on and attack utilities such as electricity and telecommunications.  I can understand how typhoon rains and winds, with their accompanying floods and landslides, could hamper or eliminate such services.  I cannot fault SMART Bro for service interruptions occurring while I’m experiencing a brown out.

Tell me, SMART Bro:  With all of the bad weather, and its accompanying physical maladies, why is it I can still text or speak on my cell phone?  It is similar technology, handled pretty much via systems found on the same telecommunications towers outside weathering the storms.  I wish I knew.  I’ve often wondered why groups like the N.P.A., the M.I.L.F. and the A.S.G. target telecommunications towers for explosive destruction.  (Could insufficient or nonexistent download speeds be a contributing factor?)

I also wonder why it is that I can now accurately predict a pending brown out by observing a pattern of intermittent then nonexistent internet service offered by SMART Bro.  Yes, if I observe certain characteristics “on line,” I can bet anyone “dollars (or pesos) to donuts” that an electrical brown out will shortly ensue.

I Can Communicate With “Our” Tower

Being experienced in electronic and information systems troubleshooting (a previous career best not elaborated); I can tell where a problem does not exist.  Telecommunications technicians have always used the “It’s on the distant end” method of fixing problems whenever they found themselves in over their heads.  In my case, the problem is not on this end.  Nor is it between my antenna and the telecommunications tower at which my antenna is pointed.

On one occasion of a SMART Bro technical team visit, I “obtained” access to their link testing protocols for my service (and my service alone).  With these smart tools, I can see whether my antenna is in proper alignment with and my equipment is effectively “talking” to the equipment located on the nearby telecommunications tower.  I use these testing protocols quite religiously whenever the internet gets flakey.

The result is usually the same – no problem communicating with the tower.  If I knew the electronic addresses of the nodes further down the link, I’d be able to test them as well.  Unfortunately, I can only avow for my equipment, that nearby tower’s equipment feeding me, and the 5,978 feet of air between my antenna and that on the tower.  Power levels are always at peak performance levels, “jitter” is barely existent, and all is well with the world.

So, What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?

The intermittent and poor internet connectivity problems I experience obviously originate elsewhere.  Somewhere among all of the system nodes, routers, wire-wraps and jury rigs, there is a poor internet connection mirroring itself on my computer’s screen.  I’ve checked everything on this 5,978-foot end, SMART Bro.  How about a little troubleshooting assistance, here?

Please check the equipment on your end.  If it’s not causing the problem, then check the system between us.  I’ve got my side of “our” tower, which I longingly gaze at day after day, covered.  You cover the other side from that point on up to your equipment.

While you’re at it, how about repairing the aircraft warning lights on “our” tower.  They haven’t been “seen” in ages – I see the Globe and the Sun towers’ warning lights every night.

Oh, one more thing:  HOW ABOUT CREDITING MY BILL FOR THE SPOTTY OR NONEXISTENT SERVICE?  I readily pay my bill on time, every month, as directed by our contract.  Filling out additional paperwork and waiting over three months to possibly receive (or be denied) credit is NOT a billing credit – it’s a deterrent at best, and a nightmare at worst.  If you can’t “carry the water” and provide it to me, why should I pay you for it?

Just think – if you cleared up these problems, you endless commercials could quote “Ten out of Ten”!

(UPDATE:  Once again, my sense of fair play demands that I provide this update. 

I’ve been monitoring my “24/7 connectivity” on a 24/7 basis during the past three weeks.  While there hasn’t been a single calendar date [e.g., 12:00 midnight, November 1 to 12:00 midnight, November 2] of continuous 24 hour connectivity – and certainly no two consecutive dates of 24/2 connectivity – there have been periods of connectivity that exceeded 24 continuous hours.  Unfortunately, the outages which broke the “Bro’s winning streaks” occurred in peak moments, when I needed connectivity the most. 

So, I still don’t get 24/7 connectivity but I do get a few random 24 continuous hour periods of connectivity during the 7 day week.  Download and Upload speeds reflect 6% – 14% of the SMART Bro averages [speed test results obtained from and are available at www.testmy.net].  My Upload speeds are most often faster than my Download speeds.  I think there’s more than one problem here, ‘Bro!

My “next appointment” with the SMART Bro Tech Team is 11/24 – quite a wait this time around, as there are a “lot of problems” that are being taken care of.  I shudder while thinking, perhaps, that this next visit will be a repeat of prior visits.  The techs will check antenna alignment, signal strengths, jitter, and BER [Bit Error Rate], find all within tolerances, bust a few moves to show that they’re doing something, and depart victorious from another “it’s not on our end” battle with the illusive connectivity monster.

If and when all problems are solved [i.e., I am receiving 24/7 continuous internet connectivity without drop-outs, my Download and Upload speeds come close to matching SMART Bro's average customer speeds, and I receive adequate compensation - in the form of a true billing credit - for the lack of service I've been subjected to over the past four months], I will immediately and joyfully rush to my laptop and compose an article praising SMART communications and lauding their broadband internet service, and post it without delay – provided that I’m able to access LiP. )

Dear Feyma: I need a house!

Time for another edition of Dear Feyma, where I try to help readers with Philippine related issues that they may be facing.

If you have a question you wish to have featured here on my “Dear Feyma” column, please contact me through the “Contact Us” link at the top of each page here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine.

This week, I have heard from a number of people looking to buy or rent property here in the Philippines.  I have combined several of their e-mails into a single e-mail that will answer all of them at once.  I hope they don’t mind, it just makes it easier this way, and they will each get their answer.  Also, it makes it where they will remain more anonymous.

Dear Feyma,

“I am interested in buying a house and lot in Davao. A member of my wife’s family bought a house and lot up North. I like to be in Davao since I’ve heard a lot of good things about the place. I want a place in the city proper. Is there a 4-5 bedroom house in Davao City? Is it safe there?”

I received an email regarding buying a house here in Davao City. A guy wrote to me asking for it. Of course I told him that I saw some places here in Davao that’s for sale with the specification that he is asking for. In around Davao and in the gated area too. I told him that Davao really is the safest city right now in the Philippines. Thanks to the Mayor of Davao City, Mayor Duterte.

Somehow he has to convince his wife first before moving back here to the Philippines. One of his wife’s family members bought a house somewhere in the Northern part of the Philippines. The house that was bought there had the specifications that he wanted. So he really is itching to purchase here if only his wife will say the big yes. I think she will agree to him in buying  a house if its near to the family member that just purchased.

He had problem buying up North because the house that just bought by the family member was hit by the typhoon “Ondoy”. The house got damaged. And this guy doesn’t want to be there in Luzon after hearing from the family that the got hit and upon seeing on TV of what happened. But somehow the wife still wants to be there to be near to her family. I can’t blame her for wanting to be near the family. I am hoping that the couple can resolved their issues with the place they will retire later. I can see the point of the husband, but I can’t blame the wife for her decision too. Personally for this couple I think they should just put the moving to the Philippines on hold for a long awhile until both of them can agree a 100% where they want to stay here in the Philippines.

My advice to the couple to really decide tightly so that at the end no one will have the resentment. Moving here is not easy, the Filipina had to readjust again here with the culture and the weather.  The husband he has to adjust being here and seeing the poor people all over the place which is not easy at first. It took us like 3-4 years to really adjust being here. Culturally for me I had to relearned being in the States for 10 years, with Bob he had to rom me, the people and from his Bisaya teacher Bebe Metillo, thank God for her.  She taught me a lot too.

Good luck to you and your wife. You can email me anytime!

Another Customer Experience

I have heard and read here on LIP many stories of poor customer service experiences and negative about store personnel so when I had a recent experience with store personnel and customer service from a major store chain here I just had to share my story.

As most of you are aware, I have a mobility impairment that precludes me from ascending stairs and steep ramps for that matter, but doesn’t deter me from traveling and improvising when and where needed.

On a trip out and about I needed something from the drug store and I was downtown in Tagum City so I thought I would stop on the way home at one of the three branches of Mercury Drug here and browse and pick up what I needed.

Well on my arrival at the location nearest to my home, I encountered the standard, motorcycle parked on the ramp leading to the store doors, so with some local assistance we moved the bike and I proceeded to the front entrance.

To my dismay, they had a ramp to the walk but a foot high step in the front door ! So I went to an alternate drug store that has narrow aisles but at least I can let the store employees know what it is I need and they happily assist me, and they charge enough at that store to have happy helpers too !

So I make it back home, go on the Mercury Drug website and see a customer service feedback link, and I proceed to ask why that location is not wheelchair accessible.

To my utter surprise not two hours go by and I get a phone call from someone in Manila from Mercury drugs headquarters saying that they will investigate and remedy the problem as they value their customers.

Without thinking but surprised I got a response at all I went about my business not expecting anything to happen and my expectations were correct nothing did happen.

You see I was in customer relations on a senior level for many years for a major Japanese manufacturing company and never would I even consider to do what happened when I asked a second time about the accessibility issue at this store.

Again I e-mailed the customer service link asking if they were going to follow up or what their findings were and a few hours later i get a call and the representative asked what my address was, thinking this was strange and maybe they were going to put a hit out on me (remember I am from Chicago), I reluctantly gave them my address, and then went and laid down for a nap.

An hour later our house help knocked  0n my door saying I had a visitor in fact I had two visitors. I jumped out of bed scratching my head and yes you guessed it – two employees from Mercury Drug were sitting in my living room, one was the branch manager for Tagum and the other the store manager.

We had a wonderful conversation and they asked how they could help, me being a disability advocate in the US and familiar with architectural barrier construction, I explained how they could remedy the situation.

They both agreed that the plan presented was in fact attainable and it would be presented to their manager in Manila so the necessary paperwork could be started to get the repair started.

Never in a hundred years would I ever expect a company rep to come to my home from any major company in the US, so with this I was surprised, also I would never think a problem could be remedied with such little hassle.

The reps explained to me, that for the most part, their customer base is rather reluctant to voice their concerns as most are shy and do not expect any result.

I really feel that this is not the case here with Mercury Drug and have every expectation that they will follow through as the store manager has agreed to personally deliver any drugs i need until the access problem is fixed!

Now how is that for customer service – kudos to Mercury drug!

Live Like a King in the Philippines!

OK, you look at the title of this article, and you think “What is this guy selling?” or “What is he smoking?” Truth is, at age 57, I never expected to live like a king. No offense to my peeps back home (and I have no idea what a peep is, except that is the sound these little chicks following their mother hen make around here) back in the States, there is no way I would be living like a king back in America unless I was Bill Gates or one of the Wal-Mart heirs. It just would not be happening. I would still be at my mind-numbing job at the phone company bored to death and watching the clock. But here I am in the Philippines just over a scant three months, and I am already living like a king.

Dave, or Bonehead (take your pick, they are interchangeable in my case), you may ask, how can you make such a bold statement? How can one live like a king in the Philippines? Well, let me first make one distinction. I don’t call myself a king although my Sainted Patient Wife told me last week that I was a KING! Now you guys out there married to a beautiful Filipina like I am, have probably already heard that from your asawa countless times. And you guys reading this living in America married to a wonderful American lady (as I once was during my brief nine and ½ month first marriage over 20 years ago) have NEVER heard it. No offense to you terrific American ladies, and please note I am 7000 miles away living in a python-infested jungle filled with thousands of huge spiders big enough to stop a Mack truck. And with huge bugs swarming around that will knock you out in a heartbeat if one smacks you in the face. And don’t forget the lizards. Don’t get me started on the lizards!

So I stopped to think what my asawa said, which in itself was rare because I usually don’t remember what she tells me unless it pertains to breakfast, lunch, or dinner, or snacks, or she needs some pesos to buy something. I do live like a king here. We support eight people in our household on around 500 USD a month, and we live pretty comfortable. We have a laundry lady we pay 1000 pesos a month, and a maid which we overpay at 2500 pesos a month (but she is my sister-in-law.) The house and property we live on is bought and paid for years ago by my wife when she worked overseas for years in Singapore and Taiwan as an OCW (old school term for Overseas Contract Worker) and now is called OFW (Overseas Filipino Worker.)  Everyone waits on me hand and foot here. I don’t ask for it, they just do it. Even my mother-in-law, The Feared Giant Lizard Killer with the big bolo, likes me. I’ve got it made, and I know it.

Could you live like a king somewhere else? Probably, but let me see, I am surrounded by beautiful tropical beaches and beautiful Filipinas (that I do not stare at when my wife is with me, but you cannot help but notice them), warm temperatures year round, no snow to shovel, no job to go to, friendly people (including my wife), and a lot less stress. Back home in the States I had to help with the laundry, clean my own bathroom, cook my own meals half the time, and go to work. Let me see, United States or the Philippines? Work, or here we go again, live like a king in the Philippines. But wait a minute, my Sainted Patient Wife just walked by, and I told her what I was writing about. She laughs and says to me: “I said you act like a king around here; I didn’t say you are a king.” Shoot! Had her living in America too long! I’ve just been dethroned!

Crossing madness

Having had the “controlled” traffic rules in the UK all my life, it thus was a shock and half when I first cam to Asia and experienced the NO RULES system. My first stop in Bangkok made me realize London was a controlled traffic flow, and even though had its traffic lights and horns blowing all the time it just does not even match the rules of engagement here in the Philippines.

Now there have been many articles on traffic here, but this time I thought I would write it from the pedestrian of non Pinoy decent, that have to learn to do the Olympic games from pole vaulting over cars that come straight at you, to theb  800m hurdles, where you get chased and have to jump over other pedestrians who are slower than you, no tiome to pass the Baton here. Back in the UK we have a Zebra crossing system that if automated stops the  traffic so you can pass over without thinking you are in the FINAL DESTINATION, and here too in the last few weeks a brand new crossing has appeared, but the rules are a mystery to me.

First of all during it being made the traffic just went up on the sidewalk and scattered the pedestrians in all directions, but it was OK as it was overseen by traffic cops, so we were all in safe hands there.

The first morning of the new crossing, a crossing which is always busy with lane hopping cars,bikes and Jeepney all trying to swerve in front of another vehicle, or stop dead in front of another as to enjoy hundreds of brake lights coming on with the noise of horns to follow. Which incidentally everyone ignores the horns as they are going all the time, so are not classed as anything else but normal traffic noise.Anyway back to the first morning, and several traffic cops were ensuring that us pedestrians did NOT cross the road unless we used the new crossing, and that was great I thought, even when I saw some people who disobeyed getting tickets from the police,pedestrians not drivers.

Then I noticed that the cars shot past you even if you were half way through the crossing, and you still had to keep an eye out for a kamikaze driver who was not going to slow down for a crossing. Funny thing is that these drivers were so quick the police were not able to see them but could see the pedestrians dancing on the crossing trying to avoid the metal. The police just kept calling the pedestrians over.

Well day one teething problems I’m sure. Day two  and the Police have gone so its up to the public to deal with this new format without help. Now the pedestrians try hard to put one foot on the crossing followed by second, but by this time the cras are rocking past them and they have to step back waiting for the never going to happen gap in the traffic.Now I was a little angry over this but being a foreigner I had to try and obey the rules so after a long wait, a long long wait I managed to get on the crossing  with the inevitable horns going from the super powered jeepneys hurtling towards me, and through guts and determination I made it to the halfway point. Some astonished locals were looking at me in amazement, why is he using the crossing? Just play chicken like the rest of us.

Nope, I wanted this to work (Not really sure why), but I was in trouble stuck in no mans land,with cars and jeepneys full of wide eyes looking at this stupid man stuck in the middle of the road.

After a few false tries, I just waited and to my utter astonishment the Jeepneys one by one parked ON the crossing to let people get on and off, and others queued behind. People were getting off on the crossing!!
Now I have metal machines and human beings preventing me from crossing, it makes no sense to me at all.

Over the next few days the road is back to normal, and no one uses the crossing and I play the game of Chicken. I just hope my old legs don’t let me down in the future, or I will be up close and personal with a Jeepney.

Coming to grips with Philippine languages

This is my weekly column that appears in SunStar Davao every Friday.  I am publishing a copy of it here for LiP readers to enjoy too.  Much of this information has been covered in my many previous LiP articles on the subject of Language, but perhaps this has a bit of a different angle that you will enjoy.

In my article a couple weeks ago, I told you that I have been studying and learning how to speak Bisaya.  I started learning the language a little over 2 years ago, despite the fact that I have lived here for nearly 10 years.  When I first moved here, in 2000, I figured that I could get by with only knowing English, since almost all Filipinos speak English as a secondary language.

Living here for a while, though, I started realizing how much I was missing out on by not being able to speak the local language (or should I say, “one of the local languages”).  When people specifically wanted to address me, of course they would speak to me in English.  However, when there was a group of people, the language would often shift to Tagalog or Bisaya, unless a comment was directed toward me in particular.  It left me uncomfortable, and feeling like I was not fully part of the conversation.

One day, some Americans were visiting me at my house.  They were not residents of the Philippines, only visitors.  They mentioned the old thing that so many Americans always say…

Immigrants coming to America are rude because they don’t learn English!

Oops!  Suddenly it hit me.  I am an Immigrant to the Philippines, but I have not learned the local language.  I decided that I needed to do something about it.

My first decision was a tough one, though.  What language should I learn?  Tagalog is the National Language.  My wife, and her family, though, mostly speak Bisaya amongst themselves.  Most of the “common people” around the area seem to speak Bisaya, although certainly not all.

Well, I decided that since I don’t live in Manila, or anywhere “up north” that I should go for Bisaya.  So, my language learning journey began.  I went through a few different teachers before I found the one that was right for me.

Being able to speak Bisaya (not perfect, but I can do pretty well), has opened a lot of doors for me, especially among my wife’s family.  Some of my relatives on my wife’s side don’t even speak English, or very little at least.  My mother-in-law, before she passed away, could not speak much English, only a few words.  Mama and I had a nice relationship, but could never directly speak to each other!  Once I learned enough Bisaya to hold a conversation, a lot of the relatives became much closer, and I enjoyed it a lot.

Still, though, sometimes I still feel “left out” of conversations, though.  Why?  Because I am among Tagalog speakers sometimes, and I can’t speak Tagalog!  Knowing Bisaya helps me to understand a bit of Tagalog, but not enough to participate in the conversation, though.  So, now I am starting to think that maybe I need to learn Tagalog too!  I just don’t know, though.

For an American, learning a second or third language is not common.  You know what a person who can speak two languages is called, right?  Bilingual, of course.  A person who can speak more than 2 languages is called multilingual.  You know what a person who can only speak one language is called?  American!  Ha ha…

When it comes to the ability to speak multiple languages, Filipinos are certainly way ahead of us Americans!

Reminiscing about something I never did

I had an interesting day yesterday.  I spent much of the day working on different projects that I have going right now.  Pretty much every one of those projects is work related – things that will earn me money.  Every one of the projects involves the Internet too.  Oh, I didn’t work all day long, though, I did other things too.  I talked to my Mom on the phone, which is sort of a daily thing.  I like to stay in touch with her, and hear how she is doing.  It’s been a couple of years since I’ve seen her, but with my Vonage Internet telephone, I can talk to her and it sounds like she is just down the street.

The other night, I had two friends over for dinner.  One of the people that came for dinner is a Filipino, whom I met over the Internet about 15 years ago, and he is a close friend.  The other person who came to dinner is a foreigner who recently moved to Davao.  I met him because he was a long time reader of LiP.

Have you noticed a trend in what I wrote above?  Well, the common denominator is that all of these things are possible because of technology.  Internet technology mostly.

I have lived in the Philippines for more than 9 years as I write this… almost 10 years.  It’s a long time to live in the Philippines, but I certainly know many expats who have lived here much longer.  One person that I know has lived in the Philippines for nearly 45 years now!  He is American.  I can hardly imagine what it would be like to live here for nearly half a century!  Even though I have no plans of ever going back to the States, I will probably never reach an age that would have me living here for 50 years!  I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to have lived here 50 years ago.  I have another close friend who has been here for about 25 years now, and still going strong.  So, as you can see, I’m just a short timer.

The first time I came to the Philippines was nearly 20 years ago, in 1990.  Back then, I visited Manila, Cebu and General Santos City.  General Santos was just a backwater town in those days.  Many of the roads were dirt roads in the town.  The town was very dusty, like the wild west.  If you hung around town, you could see horses in the streets.  That was only 20 years ago.  Imagine what it was like 50 years ago!

Anyway, getting back to my “tech” life here in the Philippines, the day I described at the beginning of this article is actually quite typical.  Some days my life even involves much more technology than that.  Certainly, such a life was not even available in your wildest dreams 20 or 50 years ago.  How would anybody be able to live here during those days?  I know, the truth is that the kind of tech I am talking about wasn’t available anywhere 50 years ago.

Being able to just pick up a telephone receiver and dial my Mom or my friends in the States, and not have to pay anything above the basic flat rate monthly bill is astounding.  It has gotten to the point where we can live basically anywhere in the world, and be able to cheaply and reliably keep in touch with any other part of the world.  It makes like more pleasurable, I think.

As I think about this, it also makes me wonder what people will be saying in 20 more years… I am sure they will look back at the year 2009 and imagine how we could have possibly lived without all the “2030 gizmos” that will be available.

I don’t think I could have lived here in the 1960, or even 1990.  I sure enjoy the lifestyle that technology in 2009 makes possible for me, though.

Going Home

Going Home. When you are working overseas, these words are always the best that you can possibly think of…to an expat working abroad, this sounds really good. Home is something that you look forward to. Whether you are going home because you have finished your contract, your annual leave is due, your company ran out of projects and you are one of the unfortunates that is being laid off, you were wrongly accused, you got into some form of mischief and your boss can’t let go, you are forced to leave because you are being maltreated, your employer can’t issue you a residence visa because you did not pass the medical test, one of your family members back home passed away, or a lot more reasons to go home, these words still sound good.
Life overseas is not always like a bed of roses. Yes, maybe to those who are lucky to land a better paying job, but even then, you can forget about your hardships once you are booked to go home. To those who are unfortunate… Well, you can still say ‘there will be another chance’.

I still remember whenever I was onboard a plane bound for home… it is always as the same like the other times. When the plane starts to hover over Manila International Airport, you can hear people clap and shouts ‘KABAYAN NANDITO NA TAYO!!” Oh! The shouts that you can hear when you feel the plane’s tires touch the ground. The scene inside an arriving plane is somewhat chaotic. Some fellows couldn’t help themselves. Amidst the noise, the voice of the stewardess is on the intercom telling everyone to remain seated blah, blah, blah… Some are already standing itching to open the overhead compartments for their belongings. Gone was the subdued atmosphere after boarding. Even the lady who was seated and huddled on my left is also consumed… she broke into a smile. The one seated next to the aisle who was silently crying when we left Abu Dhabi is fumbling to unfasten her seatbelt. The baby who was cradled by an elderly lady that is probably his grandma started to cry. Maybe his parents could not issue him a residence visa because they lack some of the requirements to do so. One lady on the front seat is already retouching her makeup. The lady beside her is telling the guy next to her to help her with her baggage, and they could perhaps share a taxi ride home. A guy who seems to be intoxicated with the freebies on board is muttering something. In those early days, mobile phones were still considered a luxury… No yelling at people to turn them off as the plane is about to land, but everyone is fumbling with calling cards so they can call home as soon as we land. Now, everyone turns on their mobile before we’ve even landed yet.

You can never miss this when you happen to be onboard a plane coming from the Middle East. Foreigners who happen to be on that plane, if it’s their first time to visit Philippines, sit in awe. What was in their minds, one never knew. After all, we ‘Pinoys’ are a happy lot. Some guys at the back began another round of applause. You can tell that they’ve come from Saudi Arabia. Some of them are wearing chunky gold chains, rings and earrings. Sometimes, members of a musical band do the same, only they accessorise themselves with heavy silver, and they always wear bandanas and arm bands.

The noise put my thoughts to an end. I mean, I was mentally noting the contents of the 60kg cargo box lying in the plane hold……… To whom would the packet of Pantene shampoo go to. The pack of Lux soap. Tubes of Colgate toothpaste, Jergens lotion, and the AED 10 each bottles of perfumes that the Indian neighbour had peddled… etc., etc. Of course, I did not forget my mother’s big tubs of Nescafe, linens, and cutlery items. I can imagine my mother’s face when she sees her Galaxy chocolates that are in one of those duty free bags in the overhead compartment. She prefers them to a Toblerone because it kind of melts in her mouth….For the love of God! She refuses to have dentures done. I also bought a “buy two, get one free” bottle of Johnny Walker, and a bottle of Remy Martin, plus Absolute vodka for brothers and cousins who are waiting for over a year to have some.

One can imagine how I managed to carry all these bags past the passport control to the trolley line. You can really feel as if your arm is being ripped off because the bags were just too heavy. It’s a good thing you are not paying for the trolley service anymore. Of days old, you had to pay a dollar so you could avail yourself of one. Yeah… You blew off your month’s pay to buy goody- goodies because it is expected that you’d be going home with ‘pasalubongs’ for everyone.

Having to wait near the baggage conveyor, you have to watch your carry-ons. Hilarious as it may seem, I even put my hard-earned money inside my socks. Now don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want to go home empty handed. I did that until one of my dollar bills got squashed and wet because I have clammy feet and hands whenever I am nervous. That was when I came home from Kuwait in 1983 and my early years in Abu Dhabi. Tales of fellow OFWs got me scared because some of them got mugged, even just arriving, right outside the airport. I switched to pocketing my money in my front jean pocket and securing it with a pin. I just leave enough for my taxi fare and bus fare, plus a little extra, if something arises, in my wallet. I still remember changing my dollar bills to pesos before heading to the province. My friend and I used to go to Mabini, or Padre Faura, to those money changers. Some of them still exist. A 10 cent difference to a dollar means a lot. Those days the rate was 20-25 pesos to a dollar. Nowadays, there are a lot of easy and convenient ways to send money. There’s the Kwarta Padala, Money Gram, Western Union, and bank to bank transfers. We cannot send through the latter… Abulug is a town in the north that doesn’t have a bank. The nearest bank is in Aparri and Luna, Kalinga Apayao. I used to send through an exchange centre in Abu Dhabi and my mother could just collect it in the nearby town of Ballesteros.

Transport is another problem. If you don’t have relatives in Manila who are affluent enough to own a Sometimes if my best friend, who owns a recruitment agency, happens to be there, I can have a free ride… but it means a day less from my leave. I used to complain about having two week’s vacation every two years instead of a whole month, but then, it sometimes has its’ advantages. I can keep myself from being bored. I was still unmarried then. A week of going here and there is enough, if you live in the province. There are no malls that you can go to in order to while away your time. My friends can’t go out with me if I want to go places, since they are already married with kids. And of course, I still have some amount left for a bus ride to Manila (wink wink………. you can ask any balikbayan how easy it is to spend your leave pay and savings whenever you’re here in the Philippines). Sometimes you don’t even have money left for a bus ride to the airport… you will borrow, to be paid back as soon as you get paid. Vicious cycle, I must say… But it’s all worth it. Nothing can beat that feeling when you see your family smile the moment you walk in that door. They may not say a lot, but you can feel their joy and happiness in that brief period you are staying and you know that when you are gone, they are gonna miss you again.

Fast forward to 2007… I’m going home with the usual baggage plus one. I mean my fiancée is accompanying me home. He had proposed marriage and I told him that he has to come with me to see how we lived in the Philippines. Although there’s an option to travel by air to Tuguegarao, we boarded a Florida bus en route to Ballesteros. Luckily my then fiancée slept through, up until Tuguegarao… my mother was dumfounded, and so was everyone else, when I told them that John is younger than me by four years. Again, don’t get me wrong. It’s not common for a foreigner to fall for one older than they are. Maybe then, what he felt, was true love. Our vacation went well, and he met my elders and other relatives. We went back to Abu Dhabi, and there we began to plan that we would move back to the Philippines… for good.

Home sweet home it is… after 14 months, we were married up in Abulug. I thought it was just so easy being finally home… but having to live that long outside the Philippines, I was in for a shock.
This does not end my story. My next posting will be about my struggles to adjust. I hope you guys will stay tuned, and ……. tata, for now.

“Why is it that way?”

Jeepneys: Why is it that all the passengers will insist on handing the driver the fare, while the driver is in the middle of a hairpin turn at forty miles an hour? Is it some form of test? Also, why can’t the next two boarding passengers stand beside each other, so the driver does not have to drive the next 15 feet to pick up the second one?

Also, just for fun, ask the capacity of a Jeepney? The heads will be scratched, and the thinking begun. Then the answers will flow; 16-18-ect. Just explain that all the answers are wrong. For the true capacity is “ONE MORE” which is the same for Trikes and buses.

Trike Drivers: Why do they pull up beside you, to offer a ride after they just saw you exit your car?

Street Vendors: What would make them feel that a “Blowgun” is just what you need today? They sell pork at the market and I don’t hunt wild pigs in the Rain Forest. Or the guy behind the blue boxes at the market, where he will repair a Presidential Rolex Watch, If I had one I sure would not bring it to him, for service.

Sports: Why is Basketball the number one sport here in the P.I.? Central and South America figured out they were not tall enough to join the “NBA” and decided Baseball was the way to go! It could be the cost of equipment, a basketball and slippers and a hoop on a tree is cheaper than gloves, bats, balls and the land required to play.

Sari-Sari Stores: Does the law require that there be one every fifty feet? I think the law does require that they all must sell exactly the same items, which will cause me much confusion picking the one I should go to. (Coldest beer works for me!) Also, they open at 7am yet by 9am they still can’t change a 20 peso bill. I wish I let my wife open one.

Dealing with Local Government: When applying for my resident visa to stay here I was provided a list of all paperwork and documents I was to present to Immigration in Manila. When I applied I was asked to provide 4 more documents which were not on the list provided. Like a foolish man I questioned why they were not listed on the paper their office provided me? That caused some major head scratching and a few shrugs of shoulders and was told to get the documents if I wanted to proceed.

Then last April 2009, I went to Subic Freeport for the Embassy Outreach visit to apply for my Social Security benefits. I arrived at 07:30, signed up, yakked with some friends, was seated at 08:00 called to see an Embassy Rep. by 08:05 and was on my way to breakfast by 08:25 as I had provided all required document from their list. The Lady from the Embassy was helpful, smart, and very friendly. While eating breakfast my wife pointed out that she was shocked to see any dealing with a government official could be so fast and smooth. I just smiled.

So… I will continue my search for answers to these and everything else that perplexes me! (Which is quite a lot?) It’s the small price we pay for choosing to live here in paradise!

P.S. This was written in pure fun, and I alone, am responsible for its content.

Cultural Adjustment

Since it’s Friday, today I’m featuring my column from SunStar Davao Newspaper.  While my LiP Web Magazine is targeted toward foreigner readers who have an interest in visiting or living in the Philippines, my newspaper column is targeted at Filipino readers and trying to foster more understanding toward foreigners who are here.  Because of this, you may notice that this article comes across from a different angle than you are used to, but it might still make interesting reading for you.  This column is appearing in today’s SunStar Davao, October 9, 2009.

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I’ve been living in the Philippines for almost 10 years already, and many days I still learn new things about the place.  When I first came to live here, everything was different for me.  Today, nearly 10 years later, I am already accustomed to most things, but a few things still pop up that catch me off guard.

I am a believer that we are all people, despite our differences.  While we have things about us that are different, we also have many things that we share in common.  However, even though many, probably most things about different peoples are similar, or even the same, when you relocate to a different place, especially if it is halfway around the world, it is the things that are different that really stick out and are very noticeable to you.

What creates most such differences is culture.  The culture is way that we do things, the normal way that the people around us have taught us that things should be done.  We are a product of the culture in which we grew up.  It is through the influence of others, and through observing how others do things that teach us how to do things, and we mimic, or copy how we see others doing things.

When we move to a new place, very far away from our home, we notice that people do things differently than we do the same things.  It does not mean that the way the people do it is wrong, or that we are wrong, we just do it differently.  It can be a difficult adjustment, though.

A little over 2 years ago, I decided that if I was going to live here permanently, I really should learn how to speak the language.  Having decided that, it presented an entirely new problem… which language should I learn?  Tagalog?  Bisaya?  Some other language like Ilonggo?  I settled in on Bisaya, because my wife’s family is Bisaya.  Living in Mindanao, there is a majority of Bisaya speakers too, so I decided that Bisaya was the right language for me to learn.  I searched and was able to find a very good linguist to teach me how to speak Bisaya, Bebe Metillo.  Bebe had, in the past, taught Missionaries living here, and I was her first non-Missionary student.

In learning to speak Bisaya, I found myself also learning a lot of cultural things about the Philippines too.  Things that I didn’t understand well became clearer to me.  In the past, when I saw something being done a certain way, I thought that the thing was being done “the wrong” way.  As I learned from Bebe, I came to understand that the Filipino way of doing something was not “wrong,” but only different from the way I was used to.  There were cultural reasons for things being done differently.  If something works, it is not wrong, just different.

Over the past 2 years that I have been studying with Bebe, it has really opened up my mind and also helped me understand my new home in a better way, and also helped me adjust my attitude and acceptance of the Philippines.  Frankly, it’s been a God-send for me, because it has made my life happier, more stress-free, and given me a better understanding of the Philippines, and of Filipinos too.

I often think back to my time before I was studying language and culture from Bebe.  It was not as enjoyable a life.  Learning the language (I’m not 100% fluent, but I can get by) has helped me a lot too, and made my life better.  Being able to understand what is going on around you makes you feel better about living here too, and I am happy for that.

Next week, I’ll look at my decision of what language to learn, and I’ll let you know if I think I made the right choice by deciding to learn Bisaya.

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