Recently, my wife had to see a church member in PPC (Puerto Princess City). She never met the person we would be looking for, so I had to be extra patient on that day as we had to go and look for her in her home.
After a 3 hour slalom drive, chicken, goats, cats, dogs, cows, pigs, all safely avoided, we finally made it into PPC.
Our first rest stop was a Vegetarian cafeteria and as we were sitting, my wife recognised one of the church members and started talking to her.
Good news, I said to myself, at least this lady will help us with directions. Sure enough, their conversation quickly turned into directions explanations and sure enough after about 15 minutes of talk, I started to be suspicious about it.
I got even more suspicious when my wife started taking notes, normally she is always sure that she understand everything correctly, so why does she needs notes this time?
About 30 minutes later, we were out and on our way to look for the house.
The Sun was getting high, and the heavy tropical heat was mercilessly heating the inside of my 15 year old (no A/C) clunker. We are no longer on the “highway” blistfully travelling at 70 km/h. Now our speed is only about 5 km/h or less, on overheated concrete and I am quickly getting hot. Lately, PPC is seriously starting to look like Manila. Traffic is everywhere you look.
After about 30 minutes of wife’s guiding me through heavy traffic, I noticed that we just passed that mechanic shop… for the second time. I am now sweating profusely, my power-less-steering-wheel is almost dripping with my sweat but I keep calm and I ask;
- Darling, are you sure this shop is not the same as the one we passed about 25 minutes ago?
- No it’s not. No problem honey, I have written directions, we are on the right track.
Good, so it must be me and my sweaty sunglasses that is the problem. By now, the sweat is dripping from all over my head and onto my face and my neck going behind my back. I am thinking that sunglasses with wipers is not such a bad idea.
- Just keep on driving honey, we should be there shortly, oh, oh, I think we missed that street; could you please turn around, we MUST take that street otherwise we’ll be lost.
- Really, are you sure?
- Yes, I have no doubt, I wrote it on the paper, that was the street.
- Why aren’t you watching? Don’t you see the traffic, I can’t do both.
After driving in this heat for this long, I was getting pretty pissed and now I have a problem to make a U-turn on a busy street, plus I have to find a comfortable place to do it as I have no power steering.
Finally, a free parking in front of the bank permitted me to turn around safely but that physical effort (no power steering) cost me the sweat to reach my waist line. Suddenly I was more anxious to find a place to cool down than to keep following my wife’s directions but maybe we are really close now, so a few more minutes would be OK.
- Honey, are you OK? I see sweat on your face and your neck but we don’t have a towel inside of the car. Perhaps we should stop to buy one.
- No problem honey, I can drive like this, just make sure we don’t miss the street again.
As we entered that street, we almost immediately got stuck behind a big truck and a SUV who just rear-ended it.
Oh, how wonderful. Yeah, now I am sandwiched in a narrow street with only one way to get out… make a U-turn again.
That will be a guaranteed sweating as the manoeuvering in a narrow street will be physically demanding. Besides, I am already pretty soaked in sweat. After a couple of minutes of steering-workout, I was out of that street and almost swearing never to return into it.
- Honey, your back is all wet, are you OK?
- Don’t worry, I am fine even if I am pissed about this type of driving. Just tell me where to turn next. My pants are now all wet from sweat and by now I need a real cool place to sit otherwise my now rolling manhood will end up there where it’s not supposed to be…