I love living in the Philippines. At this point in my life, I can’t even imagine ever leaving. However, no matter how much you love a place, you have to remember, no place on the Earth is perfect. During the entire time that I’ve lived here, my life has never been perfect, far from it! I guess if life was perfect, it would probably turn out to be boring. We all need challenges to keep us moving forward.
As I mentioned in my column yesterday, last week I was having lunch with John Grant. John asked me the question: “since you’ve been living in the Philippines what were the worst and best things that happened to you?” Well, today I’m going to talk about the worst things that I’ve experienced since living in the Philippines. Frankly, there are not that many, but in order to improve our lives, we always have to examine the good and the bad, and decide how we can use those to improve.
So, let’s have a look at the worst things that I’ve experienced since living in the Philippines:
- I came very close to running out of money. When I moved here, I came with quite a nice stash of money. Not enough to retire, but enough to make a nice start. I’ll be honest, I came here with around $100,000 in cash. I thought that would last me a long time, but I was not right. Frankly, after about two years, I was in serious trouble. It came to the point where I was not sure how is going to pay my bills the next month. I had to make some money, and I had to do it fast. We were at the point that Feyma even offered to go abroad and work, sending money back to help pay the bills here, supporting me and the kids. I explained to her that that just was not going to happen. If anybody was to go work, it would be me, but my preference was to keep the family together. Feyma started encouraging me to try some methods of making money online, and I agreed. Luckily through this effort, I was able to recover, and learn how to make a good living here. How did I get into this position to begin with? Well, frankly, it was not hard. Firstly, we invested in several businesses when we came here. Some of them did okay, others didn’t. One thing I really learned is this, if you’re moving to a new country, take some time to learn how things work there before you start investing into things you don’t know much about, because, things don’t work the same way as they did back home. You’re likely to invest way too much money into things that you don’t need, and not enough in the things that you do need to get your business off the ground. Another thing that can make you run through your money is that most foreigners come here, thinking everything is cheap, and they just throw too much money at stuff. When everything is cheap, they feel that they can spend recklessly, and it won’t affect their pocketbook much. Well, believe me, when you spend money it depletes your savings, no matter how cheap the individual item is.
- Temptation. This is a delicate topic, but one that must be discussed. For men, there is a lot of temptation here. I’m talking about other women who throw themselves at you and such. Coming from a country where you may not be considered desirable, and rarely have even thought of other women being interested in you, and showing up in a new country where you’re like a rockstar is not easy. There is constant temptation. Such temptation, even if you do not act on it, is not good for a marriage. If you do act on the temptation, that’s even worse for your marriage. All of this is particularly tough in the first couple of years that you live here, because it’s new for you, and something like this is hard to say no to. After a couple of years, you will get used to the feeling, and learn how to deal with it (or some may decide that this is the life they want, and continue full speed ahead). But, it’s not an easy transition. I am lucky that Feyma was patient and understanding with me. I have had times when I had Feyma with me, and women would come up to me and make offers to me. Many wives would not put up with that, even though it was not really the husbands fault that this happened. This, in my opinion is one of the hardest things about living here, and it took me time to learn how to avoid such situations. Honestly, I thank Feyma for her patience in this regard. I love Feyma very much, and I could not ask for a better wife. I hope she knows that, and I think she does. One important thing to keep in mind for you in this regard is that most women doing this are really only out for one thing – money. By “catching” you, they can get money, and that is the prime reason why they are interested in you (sorry to burst your bubble!).
- I had a stroke in November 2001. Having a stroke is certainly bad, but was it because I lived in the Philippines? Probably not totally, but I think that living here contributed to it. Why? Because living here was stressful until I adjusted more. There was a lot of pressure. Financial pressure, as I outlined in #1 above, the kind of pressures in #2, and other pressures. These pressures created stress, and stress leads to strokes. I was not in good health, and there is a history of stroke in my family, so I probably would have had a stroke at a later time anyway, but living here probably speeded it up a bit. Thankfully, I was able to make a full recovery, and I have improved my health a lot since then too. I think that living in the Philippines had a lot to do with these positive things too!
- Feeling superior. After moving here, I went through a stage where I felt superior. I felt like I was the hottest thing going. Why? Well, I can think of a few reasons why I developed this attitude. Firstly, as a foreigner, people here treat you in a way that makes you feel superior. It’s always “Sir” this and “Sir” that. You are treated in a way that you are better, more special, etc. When you are constantly treated this way, it tends to go to your head, or at least it did for me. It’s really a bad attitude, and one to avoid if you can. Also, take into account #2 above, you have all these women chasing after you – of course it makes you feel high and mighty. If you get an attitude like that – try to kick it as soon as you can. I feel that I have, for the most part, gotten past that, and I don’t feel that way anymore, and I’m glad that I don’t. It’s a lot more fun and enjoyable to live as a “regular guy” than the opposite!
So, these are the things that I have been able to come up with as the “worst things that have happened to me in the Philippines.” Certainly, there are other bad things that I have experienced here, but in the end they add up to very little. Overall, I would call life here super. As I have said many times on this site, I don’t really have any thoughts about leaving here, so that would tend to show that I like living here!
Hi Bob – There's nothing like an empty pocketbook when the stomach is growling to get the brainbox humming with entrepreneurial ideas! 😉
Guess one has to "go local" a little bit to keep stress at bay, and just accept flirtations as part of life!
Feyma is truly patient – Asawa-ko certainly wouldn't allow an offer-making flirt to walk away without physical confrontation! Ah, the feeling of being loved, even if it has some basis in jealosy! 😆
Hi Bob, this is very good. Sometimes, expectations are set too high (or too low?) so it is difficult to come at par with the level of the Philippine standards. The sooner we adjust to the life here, the better. And the sooner we realize that there are just some areas one cannot change, and learn to accept it, the better. Ambitions and dreams per se, are not bad and can keep you going. You are right, learn the ways here first, network, talk to locals, read your articles 😀 , then go!
Cheers, Ellen
Hi Paul – Thanks for your comment. Yes, it's true that a growling stomach can do wonders in helping you come up with some great business ideas! 😆
Hi Ellen – Thanks for your words of encouragement. Acceptance is a wonderful thing in almost all aspects of life, don't you think?
Honest thoughts, Bob. A lot of guys will read them and say, "oh non, not me". Well, maybe yes, maybe no.
I have to say number 4 is one that many foreigners won;'t tlak about, yets it is a big problem for almost all of us … I know it is one I struggle with day in and day out. It's certainly worth giving thought to becu7ase it's much better to keep it in mind and recognize the signs than to just blunder along until you really hurt someone's feelings.
Hello Bob,
Good article and I am glad you have put "pen to paper" as they say on your experiences. I have added what you have said to my advise file.
It goes to show that paradise is what you make of it, meaning a good relationship,family and friends. Without that paradise is really has no meaning.
Steven
Hi Dave Starr – Thank you Dave. Yes, I do feel that #4 (feeling superior) is a major downfall that a lot of expats fall into. Heck some expats come here already feeling that way, then they get a big boost by the way they are treated here. It's not a good thing! 😉
Hi Steven – I do believe that for all of us who plan to live here, avoiding these pitfalls (and others) is a good thing to do. Filing this away for later reference will only help you! Good luck!
Morning Bob,
As an Accountant, I must say you were rather ambitious seeking to survive on $100k. That would only generate a return of $5 – $10k per annum invested so I suppose you expected all along to get into some sort of a business that would generate a decent return. I recken the "average" expat would need around $300-$500k invested so as to generate a sustainable return without eating into your capital. Now I have progressed onto alleged "problem" #2, I'm about to dust off my passport and head straight to the airport. See you ASAP, Bob!!! 😆
Hi AussieLee – Please note that I said that I came here with $100k, which was NOT to retire on. It was not enough, as we both said. My intention was to come over with $100k as a fund to get my life started here. Get some kind of business going. Believe me, I get e-mails from people coming here with as little as $500 and expect to live on that for the rest of their life! That was not my goal.
As for #2 – been there, done that… I don't need it! 😆 Good luck to you, though! Enjoy! 😉
The $100K situation is interesting. It was gone in 2 years. If all you did was spend the money and not invest, you could live pretty well on $50K US per year or $4.2K per month. In fact most expats are below that figure, I believe (?). We make more than that on pensions, including company pensions and social security, over $6K. We brought over more than the $100K and did buy an SUV but still gave most of it, well over $100K. I think you mean you invested much of the $100K and after 2 years all was gone. That means the investments, no matter how well thought out, just did not pan out. That should serve as a warning to anybody coming here with a pile
of cash and no sustainable regular income. YOU have good products. I purchased your bisaya buddy and it is working. But not everyone has what it takes; your potential customer set here is limited to foreigners and richer Filipinos, a very small percentage of the population indeed! I recommend: Come here with some kind of regular pension or annuity, at LEAST 3.5K US per month, preferably more. THEN and only then look for business opportunities (being legal with a 13a or SRRV) and be able to treat the business as a hobby.
hello bob
i find this article very interesting and informative.i would agree on all aspects.i can tell you what was the worst thing that happened to me in philippines is simple.every time i had to board the plane in davao and leave was a feeling of leaving home and to be truethful it wasent a good feeling.if i had the opertunity to be able to sustain myself in philippines money wise i would be there in a heartbeat. great article bob it really hits home with me.
salamat bob
Hi Ron W – To be honest, earning an income that you can live nicely on here is very easy, you just have to learn how to do it. There are literally thousands of things you can do to earn a living here. If you are serious about the possibility of coming here to live, make an effort to learn how to do so – I am quite certain that you can do it. Think outside the box, and you'll figure it out!
Good luck to you!
Thank you for this, Bob. I admire the way you and Feyma have handled "temptation"; it must not have been easy, but a lot of people (not excluding me) can learn from your example and, hopefully, learn how to deal with it.
Thanks again, and cheers!
Hi Migs – Thanks for your comment. Life is all about learning… we can all do that, and should! 🙂
Hi Bob,
Thanks for sharing a very interesting story on some rather sensitive issues. Realistic expectations and extensive reasearch of the realities of life in the Philippines can go a long way to ensuring a smooth adjustment to life in the Philippines.
I thank you for assisting me in that regard.
Hi Randall Jessup – You are most welcome, my friend! Anytime that we make any kind of major change in our lives, there are positive and negative factors to consider. Most people only see the upside, and they learn about the downside when it is too late. I don't like to be a "negative" person by focusing on the downside, but it is something important to be considered. Tomorrow, we'll look at the positive things that I've experienced here!
I am 43 my kids ate grown. I am now divorced. And starting over I have around 60k in my 401k and I make just over 82k a year and my experience are only around 12k a year . I am a truck driver.so saving money isn’t hard for me. I am trying to plan my retirement years . if my math is right I should have enough to retire on a small pc of land here in Oklahoma USA in about 12 years. The thing is that I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I haven’t given up on love. But I have given up on finding someone here in the USA . the ones here are more about money and there self . I have heard that philipino woman believe in marriage I guess more in the old fashion sense of way and are a lot less about what have you done for me but more about working together. And the Philippines sound like a nice place to be. . Any my question is it realistic to think I could find good wife there and live a happy country stile life there . and if so what part of the country should I look at and if I was to take a week vacation there could I get a idea of what It would be like to live there. Or should I just save my money and stay home
Hi Richard – Well, reading your comment a few things come to mind.
Firstly, saying that the women in America are about this or that, and the women in the Philippines are not… well, it’s stereotyping. My wife is Filipina and we have been married for nearly 25 years. I love her very much. But, there are plenty of women here who are out for only your money, they are out to scam you. It is generally not a good thing to apply stereotypes.
The Philippines is a great place to live, in my opinion. But, a lot of people move here and hate it. Probably more than half of the foreigners who move here leave within a couple years. Can you come for a week and find out what it is like to live here? No way. I have been here 15 years and am still learning what it is like to live here. You need to be here 6 months to have even an inkling of what it is like to live here. Being on vacation and living here are completely different experiences.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you and you are happy with your decision.
hi bob. thats a sad story. the money is the life line there. on the outher hand . guys that travel to the philippines for the first time should be aware is that if you are looking for a girl friend is that , it mite not be. sorry bob but one of the hottest girls i saw in the philippines (acording to my wifes family ) was a dude. sence i am acoustom to the philioppine life style i can understand . pero some one new to the country mite not understand.
Hi jerry smith – Ha ha… yes indeed, there are plenty of "girlie boys" around too, I had not thought about that. Thankfully, I've never been involved in a close encounter with anybody who turned out to be "different" in that way. 😆 It's a good reason to avoid such flirting and such! 😉
Bob,
Your list is very benign, which surprised me. I expected a longer list of things that bordered on "cultural clashes" (which is typical of someone new in any country)… which may then have led to unexpected results because you were "misunderstood."
If this is the "worst," then it isn't bad really.
Now come on, just curious. Didn't the humidity and heat bother you at all in the beginning? As most Westerners love the outdoors, and then with the weather there being conducive to seeking refuge to the AC indoors, I wondered actually whether I would see that as one of the worst.
If you also aced that, then your ability to adjust is really phenomenal!
Regards,
-Filipina reader
Hi ecstasy – This list is something that I just compiled, and I am no longer "new" here, I've lived here for 8 years. When you are new here a lot of stuff bothers you, but after time passes, they are no longer very important. For something like "it's hot here" – after you have been here long enough that you have adjusted to the weather, it just isn't important any longer. Know what I mean? This list, as the title implies are the "worst things" that have happened to me in 8 years. They are the only things that I can think of that I really would still consider important today.
Yes, overall, I feel that this is the worst of the things I have experienced. This is why I love living here so much!
hellow bob, on the outher hand , the people from mindano are the nicest people i have met in my life time . they are true of heart and some one who you can trust with your life . ( realy ) i am lucky for my wife and her family.
Hi Bob
Typed a message just now and it went "poof" so if it does re surface later I'm sorry….
Your comments are very good. And aside from your stroke can identify with all of them. Ok so we here under very different circumstances. But because I cant work here it started beign a problem. Not as much financially as my feeling of self worth, so yes, thought out of the box. And although not earning anything yet have had the time to start something I always wanted to do.
The temptation thing is very obvious and was one thing we had to discuss in the very begining. We just see it as funny now, but along with the low self image at the time could have been a disaster.
I did feel superior in the begining, but now really just see it as being treated with respect.
But can see that these points could pose a problem. Fortunately like you, we have a really good realationship and have been able to not only get through this but get stronger by it. So I no longer see them as bad, personally. Just school fees. And like you thank heavens I have such a wonderful man, this moving around aint for sissies.
As you say, if these are the only bad things then it isnt the worst place to be.
My worst thing here has been realising how suspicious I am. We had to be like that and I am going to have a problem adjusting again when we move to a place with less honest people.
Cant wait for tommorrow to see your best things.
opps just re read,,, didnt mean you had a wonderful man ❗ the brain isnt working too well, sorry
First off I'm jealous Bob that you were getting hit on by so many women. I am 6'2" 193lbs with a very good body if I do say so myself LOL and have been told that I am extremely guapo by many girls using other people a message conduit. I also have a friendly face. Getting to the point, I have never in 5 years been hit on by a single girl except a pro. Yet I have spoken to numerous guy friends who are over weight or downright ugly who get hit on all the time especially in the malls. Thankfully I am happily married or otherwise Iam thinking I would have to start eating alot to become attractive. Is this true Bob about what is attractive here in the Country. Big heavyset guys, big noses, things like that??
I am very happy that you got back on track and didn't give up and have become successful again. Many times it takes a humbling experience to bring out the best in us.
Don't feel so bad. I had magor heart attack (lost 25% of my heart) and was dignosed with Lupus a month after I arrived here.
While I don't feel superior I do feel infinitely more knowledgeable and experienced which only naturally causes me great frustration as the ineptness of things working here in the Philippines. For this reason I have to get out of here a few moths each year to retain my sanity.
bob . i agree that after two or three weeks in the philippines a person can ajust to the weather . beit in the philippinea , america , canida or elsweare
Wow. I cannot tell you high closely this parallels my experience – right down to the amounts of money (mine was closer to $150,000 but has lasted me almost 3 years), time it's taken to burn through it, the reasons, the options, all the way to total broke. Which is essentially where I am now. One step in front of the other is my modus operandi at the moment. And learning a huge amount about myself in the process!
Being without money is a huge eye-opener. The world looks a lot different from this perspective. Granted, my poverty is different from their poverty; still I've gained an incremental empathy of the circumstances of millions here, understanding their motivations, and appreciation of how they handle it.
It's no surprise that you and I are no longer perturbed (so much) by long lines. The mere fact that a line exits, and you're in it, can be looked upon as good news to some extent!
i can relate to your points as well, even if im local. i nodded my head with "feeling superior" because of that apparent but evident class(income) divide . i too get that sir treatment a lot seems that i am looked up to some people. it may get into one's head if we don't watch out.
this was one the things my wife mentioned about what to watch out for if we move back. it's difficult to describe to others here how this applies to a non-foreigner.
Hi jerry smith – good sentiments there, jerry, and I agree with you. I think that the comment about the nicest people applies to people from all over the Philippines!
Hi Carolynn – I am glad to hear that things are going well for you too, and that you have been able to overcome some of these issues. It's funny how we (and other expats) seem to face the same difficulties or challenges!
Hi Carolynn – Don't worry, I understood what you meant! No problem. 🙂
Hi Richard Wicky – Ha ha… no need to be jealous! I find it amazing that you have never been hit on like that. If I go to the mall, it happens almost every time I go! I think it is true that Filipina women like men with a little more meat on the bone, so maybe you need to stop exercising so much! 😆
Thanks for your kind comments, Richard.
Hi jerry smith – I find that it takes a few weeks to a month to become adjusted to the weather. Sure, some days it is hot and uncomfortable, but that is true no matter where you live. You never get used to the extremes, because they are not the norm, but you become relatively adjusted to the weather that is normal in the place where you choose to live.
Hi Nick Nichols – I think that no matter how much we are warned by others who have already experienced what we are embarking on, we have to learn for ourselves. The person who can learn from being told is the lucky one. For the vast majority of foreigners who move here, they think that the money they have is more than enough… until a few years later when they are running low! It, indeed, is a tough thing to go through!
Hi macky – You don't have to describe your feelings beyond what you said, I understand it perfectly. Last year when you were here in Davao, I saw how you were treated by others, and I feel that it might be even more difficult for somebody like you to overcome that, given the fact that you grew up in that kind of atmosphere. Being constantly treated like you are "superior" is very addictive, and can really seduce you into feeling that you indeed are superior. It's not easy!
I debated with myself whether I should talk about this as it might be a "hot potato," but on second thought why not? It's really in line with item #4 on the list; ie "feeling superior". (And by the way, these are just my general opinions and not necessarily aimed at anyone on this forum… I would still say the same thing no matter which forum I'm in…)
I actually don't like the "sir"/"ma'am" business of being polite, even if I'm at the receiving end of it. I get it all the time, too, even on the phone when I'm talking to call center people (based in RP). I cringe at the practice; and I don't enjoy it one bit and I'm quick to point out my discomfort.
Probably because it's my fellow Filipino, I don't want to be made to feel superior at their expense. Granted, it's the way they're being trained now but I wish the Phiippine businesses would stop this practice. It feels like we've reverted to the dark ages of our colonized past where the Filipinos were made to feel inferior thru some systematic programming. (Sorry to digress a bit…)
We can be polite w/o hi-jacking our own sense of worth. This sir/ma'am business is a subtle subjugation of one's self-esteem. It's disempowering… really… and the sad thing is, young Filipinos entering the work force don't even realize it. And so they drink the "Kool Aid," eager to land that job…
It is only you that adds a negative conotation to “Ma’am/Sir”
It’s a translation of “Ginoo/Ginang” which were used in the old days.
Compare with the Japanese honorific “-san”
Hi Bob and to all of you. i would strongly agree with temptation and – unfortunately with your stroke topic. About temptation; i just left a comment for John in my blog. Regarding stroke: yesterday morning I experienced it too. i am very blessed, that I was 'rescued my some one'. I can understand very well your situation during those days, because we have talked about is several times. – All in all, thanks for this great and unique article. P.S.; we miss you guys terrible – but we are sure, we will see us again soon. God bless.
Afternoon Bob,
I must admit I agree with Richard. I am a couple of inches shorter at 6' but otherwise am considered easy on the optic nerve by most women. Yet, although I received glances, I was never hit on by any woman in an overt manner as you describe. I feel they may target the more portly expats because they may consider them an easier target and in most cultures being overweight is not considered bad at all – generally a sign of genuine affluence. I worked hard to lose weight a few years ago so I don't wan't to have to put it back on again! Can we reprogram the girls instead??? 😆
Nice article Bob- Your website is invaluable to people considering Living in the Philippines.
Cant wait for the best things tomorrow 😆
Hi Richard, AussieLee – good to hear that no ladies hit on lean and mean bodies. My husband is 6'3" and is only around 165-170 lbs. Since I hate cooking, I don't have to cook that much either to try to fatten him up. Yeepee.
Hey Bob.
Excellent article, you put some interesting stuff right out there on the table including your somewhat private health matters. The health issue has taken me back a bit because that type of thing could throw off your budget real fast and in a big way. Do you think 100k and a steady monthly income of appx 1700 in addition would be a more logical approach to relocating there.Sorry about the living expenses question.
As for as the ladies thing, well im 5'7" 170lbs and one arm covered with a sleeve tattoo. I feell I will fit in relatively well because my size, and the wife tells me the ladies probably wont approach me because they associate tattoos with criminals there in RP. ❓
Hi ecstasy – I think that we are both in agreement on the sir/maam thing. I don't like it much, at first when I moved here it made me uncomfortable, although I've adjusted to it a bit now. When I would tell people to "just call me Bob, not sir" they would reply, "oh, OK sir!" 😆
Hi Klaus – I hope you are feeling better! Hope to see you soon!
Hi AussieLee – Honestly, having the girls after you is not fun after a while. It can create some real difficulties in a marriage.
Hi anthony – Thank you so much. That's a nice compliment, and I appreciate it!
Hi Ellen – You are in good shape there! 😆
Hi Neal In RI – I am not sure on the tattoo thing. I don't have any tats, so I am not too familiar with the acceptance, although a lot of Filipinos seem to have them, so I would not think it is too far outside the norm.
The money that you mention should offer a good life. Just do all you can to preserve that nestegg, don't waste it!
Bob,
This is a very honest post. this is experience many couples face, i am sure. i hope you post more topics like this, from your own experiences. iam so glad you made it through and able to put roots down. it's so hard for many people.
this comment @Niel in RI
i have tattoos as well and was allways accepted everywhere i went.i know most filipino people wont look down on you with tats.like here in usa if u have tats and such it might affect you getting a job.well mabe if u had to goto embassy or judge you might want to cover them as a respect thing.
salamat Niel
Hi Bob,
Great article Bob. The amount of attention young women give you in the Philippines can certainly go to your head. When I was in my early thirties I think some of the women were actually attracted to me. Now that I am approaching 50 I'm, sure that isn't the case any more. Oh well, it is fun kidding myself.. 😀
Hi Bob, this may be somewhat off topic, but I thought this fits in with the general theme of the article. You mentioned that most foreigners who come to the Philippines have the impression that the prices are lower here and thus tend to overspend. I observed the same thing happening with Filipino balikbayan returnees. You also wrote that foreigners are sought after by Filipino women who are mostly after their money.
To me, the problem stems from people believing that the U.S. dollar has some special magical properties. For instance, when a person is known to be earning U.S. dollars, or if most of his money is in dollars, the common impression is that the guy is "rich". A person earning $1,000/month has a higher perceived value than a person earning P50,000/month, despite P50K having a higher value given today's exchange rate ($1=P44). Why is this so? Perhaps it's due to some cultural conditioning or mentality that we have grown up with, where everything 'States-side' is superior, including US currency and American citizens.
The result is that the people with the dollars (whether they are expats or Filipino returnees such as myself) tend to get an overinflated sense of self-worth, and these delusions have negative side effects. We might be doing ourselves a favor if we think of the US dollar as just another currency, similar to the euro, yen, or peso. I always remind myself to keep in equilibrium and not think in terms of what I earn or how much praise and accolades I receive, as these are all temporary. This mentality assists me in staying humble and 'real'.
One of the things that I like about this blog is that Bob puts it all out there. Few folks will talk about real money, let alone how much money they have blown through! I think that sort of information can be very helpful, particularly for those who are hoping to survive in the Philippines, but are bringing miniscule amounts of cash.
Thanks Bob for your candor in writing this article. Very helpful.
This only validates what I have imagined to be possible pitfalls that can transpire once we settle back in Davao. Your personal experiences and that of Nick Nichols are enlightening and something we all can learn from.
For a few years now, my husband and I have been plannning and preparing for our eventual settlement to my country. As his Filipina wife, I feel responsible for him and would like his life transition in the Philippines to be as smooth and pleasant as much as possible.
We may not always avoid all of life´s “negatives”. But being aware and prepared can give us the the courage to overcome adversities as well as the confidence to meet opportunities should they arise.
How about writing more too on topics relating to personal finance in the context of living and earning in the Philippines?
This can be another great service on your part to fellow expats who are settling in the Philippines before their retirement pensions and are without huge nest eggs stashed.
Hi khaye – Thank you.
Hi Joe Parisi – Yes, indeed, that can really go to your head. Don't worry, your age won't have much impact either! 😆
Hi rob – Wow, what a great comment! You really hit the nail on the head with what you said, I believe that nothing could be closer to the truth. Like you, I don't really understand what the magic is of the dollar. Thanks for leaving your comment!
Hi Tom N – Thanks for your kind words!
Hi i.m. schneider – Thanks for your comment. I am glad that you found this column helpful. I agree, nobody can ever avoid all of life's negatives, no matter how hard you may try.
Hi Bob,The Sir/Maam thing originated in the Uk and was spread by colonialism and is something that annoys me in the 21st century.It was originally used as a sign of respect to your superiors in the British class system that was prevelant in bygone days.I remember as a youngster(long time ago) we always used it when addressing someone who was considered important including our school teachers.As times have moved on it is now very rarely heard in the Uk and mainly only now used in Royal circles.Regarding comments on tattoo's,not a problem in Phils,but they are if you visit Japan,as you can be associated with the Japanese Mafia as they are always heavily tattoo'd,regards Chas.
Hi chas – I figured that you brits were behind the "sir/maam" thing! 😆 Just kidding… Yes, this is something that I find quite uncomfortable, although it is also widespread in the Southern USA as well, and I lived there for about 10 years.
Hi Bob Like your site,just finished reading worst experinse in
philippines.Wooooooo are you luckey. I found out some members of the famley are very demanding and expect you to take care of their every need. Build a house for you and they want one too, no such thing as a loan in Kidapawan Maybe i can lern fron you,keep up the grate work……..Jin m
Hi jim m – I have had those kind of things happen many times, jim. The key, though, is how you handle them. If you handle such requests in the right way, they don't have to turn into bad experiences for you. Lay down the law and make it very clear that you won't do certain things, and then they won't happen any more. If you relent, and give out things when demanded, then they will keep asking because you may give in again. If you lay down certain rules, and stick to them all the time, people won't make demands that are unreasonable. This is what has worked for me. I bet it would work for you too! 😆 Good luck, jim!
Thanks Bob, sounds good to me Sorry i will miss your big event on the 8th, thats the day i will be liveing for Kidapawan. Maybe some other time,thanks a lot. jimm
Hi jim m – Just to be clear for anybody reading this… the seminar is on the 9th, not the 8th. No problem, though, I understand that some folks are busy that day! Good luck to you in Kidapawan!
From my own perspective, to have the best of both worlds , spend time in the Philippines from mid November to February and return to US the rest of the year.
Hi midwesterner – We are all different and get to choose what is best for us. I am happy it's that way, because personally, I like living here full time. The weather has little to do with the reasons I live here. I'm glad, though, that you have found the solution that works best for you!
Good luck!
Enjoyed your shareing of past experiences.Liveing here 10 years I can perfectly relate but was not as fortunat as yourself with a good wife-partner till recent.Many of your views I share and have always considered myself a guest here.
Maybe you can advise?
I have found here(in Cebu and perhaps all the P.I.) credible information is the hardest thing to find.Most good information I have received has been from guy's like you and I that have been there or a few Pinoy's that are savey and shareing.
Do you know of a constructive forum here where people(mostley foreigners) help each other in matters that are difficult for us to understand and methods of resolving problems.Not a session for bitching but questions and answers for fellow foreigners?
Thank You
Gary and Logan Curteman
😀
Hi Gary & Logan Curteman – I understand what you are saying. Many times, when expats gather, it turns into a "bitching session" where everybody complains about the Philippines. I don't like that either, and my advice is that if these people don't like it here, they should go home.
As for my advice about where you can find a constructive forum where you can discuss these issues… well, how about…. here, on this site? That's what it's all about! Honestly, I don't know of another site to recommend, and I hope that this one can server your purposes.
Dear Bob,
Thanks for the great article. As far as losing money, I don’t think that only happens in the Phills. I think a lot of it has to do with the world economy. In 2009 I bought a convience store in Jacksonville, fl that was grossing about $350.00 a day. It was next to a motel and a large trailer part. I paid $20,000 for it as I thought I could improve the earnings. Well, about 6 months after I bought it, only about 10 folks were left in the motel and almost all of the folks living in the trailer park left because they had lost their jobs. After about a month of only getting $50.00 a day in gross reciepts, I shut it down.
In Jacksonville, so many homes have been foreclosed that you can now buy a nice 3/2 house for less than $40,000. I have been to the Pill’s 3 times now, my last visit was in April of this year. What astounded me was the outlandish prices the locals were asking for their land. It was if they were living in a dream world.
Regards,
Bill W.
Hi Bill – The “losing money” part of that post happened back in 2000 and 2001, though, when the economy was still booming. Believe me… it was definitely about living in the Philippines. I had not yet learned how to make money here. Now I know how, and it’s a different story!
Thanks for dropping by, Bill! Hope to see you again here.
Do Eyes Count?? I don’t get hit on, but I get a lot of the eye looks from the women here.. I just live on my S/S every month … just not too interested in making more money. People are very curtious to me, always here, I just throw the same back at them.. All in all , very happy here…I did find the perfect girl here, and it amazed me how much more softer and kinder, caring she is, than the women back home, I did not have to come here for her,, I had plenty back home, even at my age, But somehow I just knew she was going to be the one, and if she wasn’t the one… once I got here, the plan was to head back…..Been here 5 years now….LOL
at least you are treated like a rock star. as for me I’m trying hard to be a rock star lol.
Being treated like a rock star is not important to me. There was a time when I kind of enjoyed it, but I’ve been here long enough now that it is more of an imposition at times. Especially now, I am well known due to this site, and thus a lot of people know who I am and approach me in malls and other such public places. It can be a bit overwhelming.
This is great. We really appreciate foreign people who visit our country because of all the destinations in the world, they chose Philippines. In return, we welcome them with utmost hospitality to make them feel comfortable so that they will soon to settle well here.
Mabuhay and may you stay longer here 🙂
Thank you Jon.
I’ve had nine months of knowing I was going to move to the Philippines to ‘anticipate’ as best I can the idea that women might take an interest in me over there. Here in the US, I have lots and lots of “female friends” but it’s all platonic. They aren’t after me for money, just friendship. But over there it sounds like a whole other situation.
I just tell myself I’ll have to take it, and everything else, day-by-day and deal with it as I go. The women there make my girlfriend nervous and I haven’t even gotten there yet! (Got my ticket today though.. woohoo!) I’m gonna try to just ‘blend in’ best I can.. write my novels and enjoy the beaches. It’s a simple plan, I’m hoping it doesn’t get any more complicated than that. (knock on wood)
Oh, Henry, the stories I could tell you… 😉
Hmm, I think that if Marian Rivera hit on me, I’d be befuddled, embarassed and then send her right back to Ding Dong…ah, but the idea of it 🙂
In all seriousness, I’ve been to the Metro Manila area 3 times for long stays and have never had the experience Bob described of having women throw themselves at me in public. He, he, what’s your secret, Bob? 🙂 Granted, maybe a couple of random looks here and there with a slight twinkle in the eye, but nothing more.
I don’t have a superiority complex vis a vis the filipinos. The whole “sir/mam” bit is simply a courtesy extended to everbody. It’s akin to the way folks in the southeastern part of the USA say “sir and mam” a lot.
I think that think overall culture of the Philippines is a courteous one and I appreciate this. In the USA, there’s too much public rudeness for my taste.
Steve
Hi Steve – Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this… like I say, I’ve pretty much gotten over all of this by now. 😉
Thanks, Bob, for sharing so openly about your personal experiences. It’s refreshing.
No doubt, it’s one of the reasons why this post is so enduring, and with such a good attitude, I trust you are continuing to make the most of your chosen life.
Thanks, Christian. Indeed, I do really enjoy my life here in the Philippines.
All this talk about Sir/Madam. Hold on a second. Here is why they do it. Its an important part of their culture. The use of “po” (or sometimes “ho”) is very important. When learning English they ask righ away what is the English equivalent of “po.” We actually have none closeer than Sir or Madam. So, in line with their cultural training which they get from childhood which is ingrained to the max in most Philippinos especially if they want to get something like money from you, is to call you Sir or Madam as a substitutute for po. Don’t feel they are kissing up to you so much, they are just doing what they do to their own people but in another language.
Hi Mike – I would agree with you on what you say, except for a couple of factors. The area where I live is not a Tagalog area… “po” is part of the Tagalog Language. Where I live, most people speak Bisaya, not Tagalog, and I do not hear “po” very often here (I speak Bisaya fluently, BTW). So, that alone means that it is not the case for the area where I live. Also, the article was about how things made me feel, not really why things are the way they are. Hope you understand.
Thanks for adding to the discussion, though, you did make a good point.
Great Article Bob. Its nice to read the real stories of how it really is their. My wife is Pinay we live in California because I have a decent job here. Someday proabably a fishing business for the tourists, somewhere near Cebu. A boy has to have a dream.
Hi Derek – Nice to hear from you, thanks for stopping by. It’s nice to have a dream, but the fishing business is probably best left as a dream, and not moved into reality. It would not be a good business, IMHO, because there are not enough tourists here to support it, and the local people are only really interested in fishing for food, not for sport or fun. I do wish you good luck, though.
Hi Bob and Family,
what a great story Bob sounds like I better start eating before I go there my brother who is married to a western lady is over there with her and he informs me he has sore eyes from the scenery over there if you know what I mean Bob,
I told him to behave himself, he needs to eat to whilst he is there as he is 6’4″ and very athletic build but I think he substitutes his food for a local beer there he informs me. A bit scary on the financial side of it Bob sounds like you have to be cashed up to go there???
Great article! I read through all the comments too, its too bad we cant “live like a king” on a big chunk of cash like we could in the old days. I think we need to stop throwing that word around, its impossible to live like a king anywhere in the world these days, unless you are a multi-millionaire.
Oh and I agree with some of the other comments, im young, 6ft tall and somewhat gwapo and i’ve never been approached even once by a girl, in my 5 trips there.
Ha ha.. I guess I must be more gwapo than you then, Dave, because I get approached by girls on a fairly regular basis. I have even been approached while I was with my wife!
Glad you enjoyed the article.
What about racism Bob? You can’t deny that under the surface of those friendly smiles lies some bigotry towards foreigners which boils over when a pinoy doesn’t get their own way or their pride is wounded.
The writer puts more emphasis on the driver being a foreigner than the actual act itself. So if a Filipino did that it would be alright i guess. It backfired on the author anyway as the Filipino support the writer was relying on failed to eventuate which makes me hope that maybe there are some people here with their heads screwed on right
http://www.sunstar.com.ph/cebu/opinion/2012/11/23/talk-back-abusive-foreigner-254687
I would not say that every Filipino smile has racism behind it, I would say that a few do. I have experienced racism a few times, but only a few times. It is not something that has a major impact on my life.
Hello Bob, I read your post and just had comment.
When I first came to the Philippines I really thought I was somebody. With all the smiles, yes sir’s, getting ahead in line or served first and alot of beautiful women talking to you wanting to know you. Yes my smiles where big. After all I was just divorced, worked hard all my life and was sort of a quiet fellow. Found out that I wasn’t dead after all.
There comes a time though that one comes back to reality and takes a good look around….the women that hit on you are as you say just looking for money, cash flows very fast through your hands as you pay for everything for everyone. Family thinks they can take advantage and just to build a gate for the house turns into a whole house. You can feel obigated. Yes 50 peso’s is not much but give this or spend that freely and you find yourself broke before you know it and guess what? All those people you helped or had around you disappear when your pockets are empty.Build a house or buy a lot and better expect to live their for good as property is very hard to sell. I have been selling my lot now for 5 years now. Yes there are people trying to take advantage of you anyway they can to get your cash.
Once one come back to reality, put the brakes on, know you cannot change anything, you are and always will be the money even if your broke and everyone has emergencies. You will be better off. Always look out for yourself and “your” family and always have an exit plan.
Don R.
Hi Don – Thanks for your comment. Yep, you are right on the spot! Your experience sounds almost identical to mine. But, I am glad that I have moved beyond that and live a more normal life now.
DEAR BOB i don’t think Filipino women trow them self’s to you because they found you “irresistible desirable” the Philippines is a poor country and a lot of women married men from another country’s just to get out of the country, most of Filipinos try to migrate to japan illegally so if a woman married an American that is just a very easy way of making a new life out of poverty. i don’t understand why someone will move and live in Philippines, when is not really a good economy or weather country. anyway just my thougs after reading your “article” bye.
Hello Juliet – Ha ha.. apparently reading comprehension is not high on your skill list. I never said anything about being irresistible desirable. I said that women throw themselves at you. The reason that they do is not really an issue, the fact that they do is.
I am sorry that you don’t understand why people move to the Philippines. As is evident by visiting this site, there are thousands of people who want to.
juliet i don’t think that bcoz philippines is a poor country doesn’t mean that most pinay will just look for foreigners to marry to get out of the country and poverty, i still believed that most of them marry for love and vice-versa, i’m just saying!!.
Bob, very interesting post, seems to me ,you are a great family man….
I’m from Agusan Sur where Lolong the biggest crocs in the world
Hi Ulysses, thanks for stopping by and for commenting. I have been to Agusan del Sur many times, it’s a lovely place! Peaceful and quiet… I suppose except if you ran into Lolong! 😆
Yes, I am a family man, and I try my best to be a good person to my family. I am not perfect, but I try. 🙂
Hello Bob, Thanks for sharing your life been in Philippines, and I’m really grateful to have a chance to read your article. I was amazed what you been through and what you’ve been doing right now , it ‘s awesome that a part of those trials, you and your family are still strong, and I’m glad that you recover from the stroke, and doing well. My husband and I decided to stay in Philippines for good, we are planning to move end of this year, his a Caucasian. We been married for more that 14 years,. and I don’t know if my husband needs a visa to stay in Philippines. My husband don’t want to give up his US Citizen , what can he do to stay there . Can he stay in the Philippines for a year and then get out of the country and then come back, can he do that ? I don’t really know what’s the rule about non Filipino citizen leaving in the Philippines. any thanks you so much for being there for everyone who needs advise . Hope someday my husband and I will meet you and your family when we get there 🙂 I’m really grateful that your there that can help and give advice to the other foreigners like husband. Thank you Bob for your time:)
Hello Thelma,
Thanks for your comment. Any foreigner, including your husband, needs a visa to enter the Philippines and to stay here. Your husband would qualify for a Tourist Visa, a Resident Visa, a Retirement Visa, or a Balikbayan Visa. My personal recommendation would be a 13a Resident Visa. In my opinion it is the best option for somebody who wants to live here, and is qualified for the visa. With that he would never have to leave the country.
Hope this helps.
actually u need a legal documents to prove that your staying in the Philippines for rest of your life and never come back to your hometown. what i recommend to you is that u need to go to bara
nggay to ask everything that you need to have in order for you to stay here …
Hi Bob,
I really appreciate your honesty especially about the “temptation.”
It really feels good to know someone who have learned to love my country, our country. I think I would be reading your blog more often.
I would also like you to check out my post about the Philippines. “7 Reasons why you should travel to the Philippines.”
Would love to hear your thoughts. http://jontotheworld.com/7-reasons-why-you-should-travel-and-explore-the-philippines/
Thanks man.
Jon
Hi Jon – Thank you for stopping by and reading my article, I appreciate it. Sorry it took me a day to reply, I was out of town and just got home!
I will take a look at your blog post tomorrow, I am tired from my long trip! Thank you for sharing!
Bob, thank you for your honesty, and your consistently good advice. I bought and printed your book a while back (50 ways to make a living in the PH?) and I asked my Pinoy wife to dust it down for me last week – I got fed up with the Western rat-race (just turned 60) and decided to get out and get rural, PH. Luckily I have a reasonable UK military pension to rely on.
We have a new (paid for) condo in IloIlo, but will live in a small village in the sticks in Bugasong, Visayas (with her parents) until we get the new place as we want it – plus I want to toughen myself up living really rural, because I am sure there will be challenges ahead. I need to adjust, big time.
Thanks again for your honesty Bob – I am pretty scared about the July move, but people like you show that it can be done, and with grace. This will be the biggest life-style change of my life, but your site has given much brilliant advice.
Roy
HI Roy – I would not be scared. You might experience some hard things, but it will all work out! I wish you the best of luck, and I am sure you will do well.
Well Bob if you went thru 100k in 2 years you were buying too many things-New house,car,ect I retired 8 years ago and have lived here in Phil 6 years now and still have the same in my savings that I had 8 yrs ago when I was living in Shanghai teaching English.I dont have new stuff,not interested in buying a new house or car,ect. 3 years ago I bought a suzuki motorscooter that was 3 years old(not new) and it runs perfectly. My total bills rent,cable tv internet,utilities, run me 210usd a month and another 50usd a week for groceries.My pension about a grand a month and I live on 1/2 that. I teach English 2-3 hrs a day 5 days a week and that pays most of my bills. I really cant see how you spent 100k in 2 years.HMMMM( I am single and dont have a spouse-maybe thats how) Take care my Brother and God bless! I enjoy reading your columns!Jimmy in Baguio
Perhaps you don’t know enough to comment. I have never bought a new house (or an old one) in the Philippines. Good luck to you.
This is one of the best articles you have every written, and you’re one tough guy if you had a stroke and made a full recovery.
Thank you, Tim. I appreciate it.
Great article Bob. Your doing a great job. How about top 10 list of business and investment you can recommend for a new expat/foreigner who will start living in the Phippines. Enjoy your weekend.
Hello Gary,
If you are interested in living in the Philippines, but you need a source of income, getting a job here is generally not the way to go. Firstly, most companies are not looking to hire foreigners. Secondly, you probably won’t want to work for the kind of wages offered here, usually only a few dollars per day.
To help out people like you, I have written a book called “49 Ways to make a living in the Philippines” and I cover ideas of all sorts on how you can earn a good living while living in the Philippines, and do so legally. I have been earning my living here since 2000, and I earn more money now than when I lived in the States. So, I know that I can help you do that too!
To check out the book, go to:
https://liveinthephilippines.com/product/49-ways-to-make-a-living-in-the-philippines/
Expat Island Bookstore
The book is available in Paperback or eBook from the link above.
Check it out today, I am sure that this is what you are looking for, if you want to live in the Philippines!
Hi Bob,
Thanks for the very interesting and helpful advice, I’ve been following you for not too long but have really enjoyed your and the contributing authors articles very much. Your article here was particularly interesting and surprising that you and others are willing to share so much personal information and experiences. Its incredibly refreshing and helpful to the rest of us who have run into similar experiences and maybe not have done as well a job handling them. I really appreciate it…I don’t think I could be so brave.
Thank you,
PJ
Hi PJ – Glad you are enjoying our articles and I hope they are helpful.
I wish you the best.