You know, sometimes in your life there are things that seem that they would be quite easy. Sometimes those things are easy, other times that are not so easy, regardless of how the look. Today, I want to write about hiring house help, or in other words maids. Having a maid is one thing that a lot of people tell me draws them to the Philippines (usually it is the wife who is excited for this, because us men tend to let the lady take care of the household chores anyway). Sometimes, though, it seems that having a maid, or finding a maid to hire is so difficult that you would be better off without.
Over the years of living here, we have had many maids. I don’t know, in 9 years of living here, we may have had around 20 maids now, maybe even more. It is not as bad as it sounds, because sometimes we have had as many as 3 maids at a single time. About a year ago, or so, we decided to not have a maid. We had several nieces and nephews living with us anyway, and if everybody pitched in and helped, it was a small job on each person to take care of the house. A few months ago, though, one of our nieces moved out, and we were at the point where we did kind of need a maid.
So, we have been looking for a maid for several months now, pretty much with no success. A couple of weeks ago, Feyma’s sister contacted us and said that she had found a maid for us. She recently graduated from High School, and needed work badly to help support the family. So, Sally traveled to Davoa from GenSan with the new maid. The girl’s name is Pat, and she is 17 years old. When I met Pat last week, the first thing that I told Feyma is that she would not last. “Why?” Feyma asked. I told her that Pat was too young and too immature and she would be homesick within days.
Sure enough, in 3 days or so, Pat had started telling people in the house that she wanted to go home. Soon, we heard that she wanted us to get her teeth fixed at the dentist, and even send her to college. She said that if we did not send her to college, she would leave in a month. Well, I told Feyma that we would not be sending her to the dentist for repair on her teeth, if she was planning to leave us after a month. Feyma agreed totally with me.
I don’t mind getting stuff like dental work done for a maid if she will be with us for the long term. That kind of service is cheap here anyway, but why should I spend anything on it for a stranger who is going to leave after 30 days anyway? Answer is that I will not.
Today, Feyma sat down with Pat to have a talk. Others in the house were present too, so that there were witnesses to the conversation. Feyma talked seriously to Pat, and asked her if she wanted to go home, and Pat confirmed that she did. She will be leaving tomorrow.
I did not participate in the conversation today, because I felt it was better handled by the lady of the house, and also introducing a foreigner (me) into the conversation could lead to difficulties. So, I was not around when the conversation took place, and I feel that was for the best. When the conversation was completed, Pat was not fired, she quit. I had told Feyma to try to just get her to quit, because firing her could lead to issues that could come back to sting us.
So, Pat was here with us for a period of a week and a half. Now, the work starts again – trying to find another maid. It is not an easy job, either (finding the maid).
My wife and I have had very good success in finding good help. My wife is one of those dynamic personalities that seems to attract the right people to us. Just luck I guess. And this applies to wherever we live in the country. We have agreat Yaya for our baby and helpers to clean the house. I don't get involved at all. I rarely speak to them. This makes an even better situation for us. When I want something done, I ask my wife to ask the helper.
When you bring up the conditions demanded by your new helper I can only smile because the typical white guy/foreigner coming here to live with or marry a local girls has no clue what he is in store for. Dentist and college. Hah. Sure makes me smile and laugh. Wait to he meets the family ha ha ha to know what demands are.
Oh yeah, finding a maid is hard and you can't always trust family with the "I have found the perfect person for you" routine. We had a maid for 3 months, she started out ok, then went downhill fast. I think the real problem was her age was older and my wife got too friendly with her. We got rid of her and she's never been replaced, but we did move into a smaller house that easier to take care of. BTW, I am never one to let the lady of the house take care of the cleaning etc. I do my share of sweeping, dusting, vaccuuming and washing clothes (by hand).
Hello Bob,
I was ther for only 20 days and as I told you before rented a house. I know what you talk of. We had two Nanny's during that time and the last still owes a day. Price was ok but what they wanted. First was a reletive that only was there part time a week. Second was friend of mother and second day had to leave for family reasons. Someone wanted to kill husband. She did come back but wanted him to stay too. I know not much money, but it was what she wanted. I hope I have better luck the next time. Josey said don't pay in advance, should have listened.
Hi Bob – We only consider relatives that are in their later 20s or older who need the work. As of now, we have one (28) for our new house and one (46) for the family house. There's not that much for them to do when we're not there, but more than enough when we are. Both know that they can quit at any time so long as they let us know, and that the other will take over everything. So far, no complaints either way! 😉
Hi Bob – as a follow up. I spoke to my wife. She said key factors are in general not about you
1. Feed them good food. Not just dried fish and egg but, chicken, meat, fish and veggies. This is a major major factor for maids leaving. Lousy food.
2. Don't be so demanding on them. They are not slaves but human beings. Wait for them to finish projects before loading them up on other things
It seems to work for us. We have loyal and dedicated help wherever we go. Even if you are doing all the above and things are still not working out then Don't know what to tell you. Maybe it's just bad luck you get lousy help
Hi Bob,
You said, "firing her could lead to issues that could come back to sting us". What exactly do you mean?
Thanks,
James
Hi Bob,
My suggestion is make a list of the qualities of those maid you've had success with and another list of the qualities of those that didn't work out and make a kind of checklist to help determine the odds of getting a good match.
Have you ever had or heard of any cases where maids have stolen valuables from you or their employer? How does one prevent this kind of thing?
It seems you were right to trust your gut instinct with this latest maid.
Hi Bob, and Hello to Feyma,
I can really relate of what you're saying in this particular article. Just lately my Mom called me from Kidapawan if I needed a maid as her ex-maid needed a job. Without any further investigation I took the offer but when she arrived here I was surprised when she brought with her her 5 year old granddaughter. Apart from that she added that she wishes to send this little girl to pre-school when the school opens in June. Well, I let them stayed over night at my apartment and sent them back to Kidapawan first thing in the morning at my own expense. And now she would like to come back without the girl. I told her ‘no’, and said I don’t need a maid anymore. I’m now branded as ‘kuripot’.
Maybe it's just my perception, but the helpers I met in Gensan during the early '90s seemed more like family – they were with the family for years, some even multi-generational. Unfortunately those ties were severed (long story), and finding helpers today is tough – and those who are good don't stick around that long.
Kamusta ka Bob,
Hmmm…in todays economy, and the way it is hard to find jobs there in the Philippines (and here in USA). I would have thought it would be easy to find some good help there. Especially from the people there that have no aspirations of going abroad for work, and wanting to stay in the Philippines.
But the truth is here as well..is hard to find good help..people that actually want to earn the money they are getting paid for, very lazy people now a days. Not saying that is reason you can't find help there, but is one of the reasons you can't find good hard workers here in USA.
Good luck, at salamat,
Danny
absolutely bizzare. You sound like a great employer to work for. I guess they are holding out for OFW salaries LOL. Nah, life is just too easy and fun doing absolutely nothing why would anyone want to work for an honest buck for a nice family. Sometimes I really have a hard time figuring this place out. I guess that is why is is a 3rd world country and will probably stay this way for many years to come
Perhaps this can't be answered without a thorough sociological study. Part of it may be changing values. Part of may be the "flattening world" concept, a perception that it's better to be a maid in MNL, then perhaps OFW. Part of if may be that areas such as Southern Mindanao are less provincial and for helpers it is more employer / employee and less a familial type of bond. I still know some families who've had their helpers for 10-15 plus years, but that doesn't seem the norm these days…
Hi Bob . Yep being home sick can b a big problem. This young lany had just gone from Gensen to Davao for a few days . Just imagne what it must be like if you are a married lady 3/4 kids and you have to go work in say Saudi for 2 years. That must really be soul destroying.
I know that this is a little off the cuff but today I was in gmall in the supermarket and the line to the cashier was about 20 minutes from where we were. Behind me a girl (She was a maid ha ha ha to make this a relevant post) was carrying a litter of magnolia premiun ice cream. I could already see that by the time we got to the cashier the ice cream container was already getting soft. Since she had no intention of doing anything about it, I politely asked the girl was she didn't return it for a new hardened one and she said its okay. Now unless she had a group of people ready to pounce on it in the lobby or she lived in the mall, it was unlikely it would have made it any great distance in a state other than pure liquid. I personally always wait no matter where I am to bring my ice cream up at the last minute. Is this one of those SIR things or plain old stupidity/ignorance/whatever.
Sorry Bob but that is hilarious!….!?!
We live in a country where the average punter gets by on 1/17th of minimum wage in an OECD country and paying the grand sum of about that; people are suprized they 'can't get good help?'.
There is not an endless supply of perfectly adapted persons ready to work for $5USD + keep per day. Booh Hooh!
Hi
So where do you find a maid that will help you and stick around????Do you advertise?????
Or do you trust word of mouth???
I would treat my maid fairly and pay her well to stay…..so why do they leave?????
Can soemone give me a check list of things to look for in a good maid and things to watch out for????
Chris – are you always looking for a fight. This is the Philippines and that is the standard of wages for domestic help. Go to the USA and it is $50 a day for a live in. SOOOOOOOO stop trying to compare apples to peas. There are plenty of good help here and $5.00 a day is actually more than most people pay for a maid anyway.
5 dollars a day ….WOW… My wife was paying 1800 pesos a month for her maid … .. I guess it depends where u live … but she left too ,family troubles ….oh well … Phil n Jess
Exactly Phil n Jess. In fact, we pay about 1500 per month here in the province and they eat the same food as us if they want but tusually prefer rice and fish mostly. They have comfortable rooms. This is not exploitation but reality. In manila the rate goes to about 3000 to 4000p monthly.
Hi Bob
I agree of helping out the family,of leting neices and nephews help out in give them an allownce and if I could help them go to college it would be a good
karma, and would be keeping the money in the family.
Hi Bob.
That poor kid. It's really a culture shock for a 17 year old who comes from a poor rural family and goes to a 'big' city'. This was probably her first job too and being a 'maid' at that: "What will my friends back home think?"
So I think you were perfectly correct on your first impression. She did not have the consciousness and the motivation for the job.
The big loser though is the kid.
Being expose to a 'western' culture and still in the Philippines was an opportunity of a lifetime especially for a poor rural kid. Besides Feyma would have surely eased her into the 'culture'.
Cheers.
Bob,
Very nice article once again. I agree it is very hard finding good help regardless in America or Philippines but in Philippines I feel it may be even more difficult as whites are precieved to be filty rich which gives some helpers unreal expictations of what to expect. In past we had a helper who was a older single mother of three and constantly she literally expecpected that I was going to finance the medical care for her entire family, suffices to say that didnt happen. I came up with sollution to put her on Philhealth as it covered her, her children and her parents since they where over a certain age , saddly to say though we never figured out how to get that helper on Philhealth as they had no certificates of birth or etc. Maybe there was a way but I never figured it out and eventually had to let the helper go due to her seemingly unreasonable demands and constant seeking of cash advances. We had three helpers in tottal at most times and most where good, not sure if this makes sense as Im not a JW , my wife and I are Babtist, but was my experience that people of the JW religion made excellent employees as where very honest and hard working.
I hope you find a new helper soon as makes life much easier although I often thought a person could be happier also with a real washer and dryer and no helper so long as the children are old enough not to need constant care.
Justin
Yep another good article Bob. Anyway welcome to the Pines, where you should expect the expected.
Before I lived with my wife, we talked about having maids. Knowing how the Philippina can breed uncontrollably, a maid would be helpful to my wife and the kids. Like I said you should expect the expected, when you marry a Pinay in most circumstances you marry the family as well ha ha (as I discovered to my delight).
Luckily my wife has 3 sisters and 2 bros so with a little encouragement and some piso as an incentive, we get to go out a lot. If we want to go for a trip anywhere distant we bring along our hired help.
Not always easy as you say, the casual attitude of the Philippino can be a bit tiresome but with patience it all works out.
Best of luck in your search.
Hi Bob
I think that hiring a maid you expect to keep should take much time. That way you can interview and find the right one. I'm not sure someoine coming from the province would work because they may be looking for a way to the city. Relatives usually work out best.
Bob,
I'm really enjoying this thread and as usual I'm enjoying the comments just as much as the article.
For what its worth, less than 1 cent lolol, my opinion is totally against hiring family members because when family gets mixed into a situation its harder to correct them, harder to order them around and if needed harder to fire them without creating hard feelings which are capable of dividing family into factions, this isn't always the case but for me at least risk far outweighs the benefit.
Regarding hiring helper from same city, I'm also think this is bad idea as makes it more easy for family of helper to pop in and make unreasonable demands on helper and pressure her into harassing employer, also makes it more risky as helper from same area equates to friends, relatives and possibly boyfriend from same area as well some who may be less than honest and since helper knows your comings and goings as well as the location of valuables this opens you up to unnecessary security risk, the list of folks robbed by connections of helper is endless.
In past was a syndicate operating in Butuan that used helpers to rob their more well to do employers. Their MO was to have helper contact another helper who was ring leader and would tip off their men partners who would rob the homes while people where away. We where actually victims of this while my wife was giving birth to our second kid and NBI got involved due to amount of value involved, over 250tphp , and through NBI we learned it was work of syndicate, needless to say though nothing was recovered.
My opinion, again worth less than 1 cent, is to hire a helper from barrio at least a few hours away and who is religious and recommended through friends or others who you trust and can vouch for their character.
Justin
Hi Bob, in my experienced it's really hard to far away from my family, friends or let say from my boyfriend he he he.I'd been working also as a domestic helper though were not same case cause me in the other country..For my young age, first experienced without peoples I loved it mades me very homesick and want to stop my contract…at that time really if I could do something to return..I will do it…But thanks of my employer are very kind giving me an advise for my future coming..well they are right, now I am fine.Goodluck for your next maid Bob…
kamusta bob
i see your having difficulty finding a good maid,i know a cpuple good maids if you need one.my sister in law.hopefully u will find one soon,let me know if i can help ok.
salamat bob
my family and i have only been in the Philippines for less than a year and we've been through 6 maids. I'm guessing that's not too bad. Three of them were distant family, which none stayed for more than a month. The first maid we had, my cousin's daughter who had just graduated from highschool left after 2 days. She demanded that my parents pay for her to go to college right away. hahaha! The second one was a little bit older, but she liked to prance around the house in her little tiny towel after taking a bath! She lasted a month. The third is an older sister of the first. We should have known she wouldn't last a month as well. The fourth lived nearby, but she liked to stick her business and her hands wherever she can. She was quickly terminated. Number 5 is a daughter of another distant cousin and she lasted 3 days. She called my aunt, her grandma, bawling and begging to come get her. She was gone the next day. Number 6 is still here and she's been here for 3 months. She's ok. At least she can speak English and she doesn't act weird when you're teaching her to do things. Mom just hired number 7 yesterday. I'm getting this weird vibe off her. She asked if we lock our gate and back door. That didn't seem right to me. We have to keep a close eye on her. Mom says we can' t just fire someone after one day. I say, why not? Gotta trust your instincts right? It's frustrating and quite scary having a stranger in the house. I grew up in the U.S. not having a maid. I'm used to cleaning, cooking and washing my own clothes. I don't mind helping my parents out with theirs. I'd rather do the chores myself rather than get frustrated teaching someone to do it right and have them do it totally wrong over and over again… =(