My parents had three kids. I am the oldest, and my brother is the youngest. My sister was 2 years younger than me, but she died at age fifteen, and I was 17 when that happened. So, during my adult life, my only sibling has been my younger brother.
When I moved to the Philippines, my brother didn’t seem to understand very much about the place. He asked me if I could actually live here with no running water or electricity. I explained to him that both running water and electricity were available here, and many other conveniences as well, even modern ones! From the way he talked, he seemed to think that I would be swinging on vines, something like you would see on a Tarzan movie! No matter how much I explained, it seemed that he just could not accept that things were more modern here than he thought.
Well, the first couple of years that I lived here in the Philippines, I could only communicate with my family by making long distance calls, or e-mail. At the time, my brother didn’t do e-mail, and calls were expensive, so we did not talk often. After about 2 years of living here, though, I was able to get a Vonage IP telephone, so phone calls that I make to the States don’t cost me anything more than the $25 per month that I pay to Vonage. My brother can even call me for free, because my US phone number is in the same town where he lives.
After getting set up with this phone system, I used to call my brother at least several times per week, sometimes even daily. After a while, whenever I would call, my brother would not talk to me. If I called and talked to his wife, she would say that he was not home, or he was busy. I could tell that he just did not want to talk. That was about 5 years ago, when this started happening, and since then, I have never spoken to my brother. I want to talk to him, but he won’t take my calls.
I searched my memory, gazed into my conscience to figure out what I did to upset him, but I could not figure out what happened.
Over the past 5 years, I talked to somebody that is a mutual acquaintance between my brother and I. I asked if he knew what happened, and why my brother would not speak to me. I was kind of surprised at what I found out.
I was told that whenever I would talk to my brother, and would tell him that my life here was going well, and that I was successful, he didn’t like it. When I told him that my businesses were doing well here, it upset him. I guess it all boils down to jealousy. When I was in the States, my brother was not so successful in his business life, and had problems in his personal life too. I think that he overcame many of his personal problems, but having not spoken for 5 years, I don’t know for certain. Our mutual acquaintance told me that my brother just could not accept that I was doing so well, and even said that I must be making this all up.
It is sad to me that my brother feels this way. It makes me wonder, what did he expect me to do, lie to him and tell him that my life was terrible? Would that make him feel better? It would make me feel bad if he told me that he was in such a situation.
How about you? If or when you move to the Philippines, will you be leaving your extended family behind? I don’t mean that you will be moving far away, of course you will, but with modern communications, even though my brother and I live on opposide sides of the World, we could still communicate as if we were next door neighbors. Do you think that you will have family members who will have this sort of attitude?
I doubt that my brother will ever see this, but if he does, I invite him to give me a call! I would be so happy to hear from him. I’d call him, but it has been made clear to me that he doesn’t want that. I hope to hear from him soon. Just because I live in a different part of the world doesn’t mean that I don’t love my brother and his family. I hope they are doing well, and nothing would make me happier than seeing my brother come here for a visit sometime, so that I can show him how life is here. You never know, he may like it.
I am an only child and I guess there are some pros and cons about that. I do have 2 half sisters and we are fairly close and there have never been any rivalries between us for the affections of our Dad. The nice thing in our family is that none of us were dysfunctional at least until I moved to the Philippines LOL. We were and are successful people, well traveled, educated, and monied in all our own right. We read books and know about places and we have mutual respect for one anopther despite perhaps having different views on volatile issues like religion or politics. The same with our parents. I am sorry for your relationship with your brother. I can only imagine he must have thrown a party upon hearing about your stroke.
Bob – I've been thinking. Oh no! LOL I wish I was your brother. I would be very proud of you for what you have accomplished since moving to that 3rd world country. Starting a great and successful online business and being able to support your family which it is obvious you love a great deal. I would especially be proud of you because you have grown since leaving Washington not in size (thank God) but in stature. You have made me proud. I am not particularly happy the way you handled that philippineexplorer guy on your web site throwing him off and all that but, all in all I am proud of you Bob. You deserve your success and happiness. I only have two additional thoughts. 1. Don't let it all go to your head as it can all come crumbling down 2. Make some sort of financial plan for the kids and Feyma in case of #1. I love you Bob – You're my brother.
Bob
Don't ever give up on your brother. It may still be a difficult relationship after all those years, but you never know what can happen. Just keep trying, maybe a breakthrough will happen. Maybe your mom can mediate a bit. If your brother has kids, try to keep a relationship with them as they would want to know their uncle Bob.
It is a shame that your brother is like that Bob he is missing out on a lot of fun ..
I should think … Phil n Jess
Hi Bob –
It's sad when you have to guard what you say becuse someone may take it the wrong way. Even worse when it is someone in your own family.
I am happy that I have been successful in my life but have learned that, no matter how humble you are, someone will think that it is false humility. If you generous, you must have a hidden agenda.
I try to do the right thing at all times. If I inadvertantly hurt some ones feelings, I ask their forgiveness. If they chose not to forgive, I have still done the right thing
You have done the right thing. Don't give up on your brother; keep trying to let him know how you feel and you will be rewardeed someday.
Mark C.
Hi Bob.
Great post.
This one is very hard to fathom. This is not only true with siblings. It happens with friends. It happens with classmates. It happens with neighbors. It happens with husbands and wives.
"Familiarity breeds contempt" is the closest I can think of right now.
John Lennon got the answer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLxTpsIVzzo
WOW excellent topic here. I could ramble on.
1Bro 2Sis here, Im not really close with them but they all know of my plans to LIP. The all seem to brush off my plans as bullsh_ _and tell me to be realistic. One of them has even said "how can you be so selfish as to want to up and leave your family" here. Sad that others will try to tell you how to live your one life you have to live.
I guess they are probably ignorant of the simple life style that can be had there in RP because they have never experienced anything but the RatRace of the American lifestyle
My plan on LIP is progressing, but I pretty much stop talking to the family about it anymore.
My family situation was a bit more complicated. My mother's side of the family has disowned me because I married a foreigner and a Filipina at that and my uncle went so far as to say I was crazy to marry a "Gugu". Wasn't until later that I found out what that word means but I was pissed so I don't talk to them anymore. One good thing is after 25 years of not talking I finally called my dad after my wedding and reestablished contact. I will visit him again before I goto Alaska this year.
Hi Bob – My mother & two brothers are still around and my communications with them have mostly been via some form of mail (snail, e, etc. – depending on technology). Having been the gypsy of the family – serving a career in the Navy and never really "returning home for good" afterward – has impacted the closeness of our youths. The impact, though, is positive – we all matures and realized that life goes on. Of course, Mom has her occasional thoughts of the vast distance that will exist between us once we're there, but she gets over those quite easily when she remembers that we speak weekly (at least) and get along very well despite four years without our being together in person. (We will be visiting her for Mothers' Day and for her birthday a week later!)
Last time I was back home, it was like a grand reunion – parties, visiting everyone, etc. The vacation was more "work" than work was! Still, most enjoyable. Mom considers herself too old to travel anymore (as do her doctors) but she always has an open invitation to come visit us where ever we are.
Both brothers have an open invitation to come to the Philippines and visit us as well. While unsure of the near future, they are open to the idea.
Perhaps (a silly little suggestion from someone "taking drugs") you can find your way to a nice stationary store in a mall, get a beautiful invitation card, and send it to your brother with a request for him to come on out for a little while. In the invitation, tell him that your more than willing to discuss the whole thing, provide your phone number "just in case it was misplaced somehow," and ask him for a jingle on your phone.
Remember, even if they don't want to be saved, one has to extend an arm and hand to a drowning person to pull them out of peril. 😉
Bob: Paul's suggestion is a good one… Perhaps see if he would be open to visiting with your Mom next time she comes.
Ni Bob, na ang tao Steven ay nagmamaneho ako mabaliw!
Sorry to hear about your Brother having distanced himself. Sadly, it is an unfortunate truth that people who are not doing so well find it difficult to remain friendly with others who are doing better.
Many years ago, there was a good friend in our social circle who disappeared from our social group for no apparent reason, although he was still living in the same place and living more or less the same life. Some months later, on chatting with him, it seems he had been listening to our conversations and looking at some of our cars etc., and had begun to feel that he couldn't compete; in some way felt inferior. It happens that at that time I was having a particularly bad time financially, and I told him that if I followed his logic I'd have no friends at all, since almost everyone would have been richer than me! Alas, he never rejoined us, which was a great pity as he was a really nice guy. Sounds like your Brother may feel that way perhaps. I hope that one day it resolves itself. Blood is, after all, thicker than water, so they say. Mind you, they also say that you can choose your friends, but not your family.
Have a good day all!
Hi Bob!
Sorry to hear about your brother. I have seen many people that are so sad for their life that they cannot be happy for others. I am ashamed to admit that I haven't spoken to my mother since the early nineties. Without going into too much detail I can honestly say that removing myself from an abusive physical and mental relationship was the best thing that I ever did. Some people that I share this with always say "But she is your mom!" I usually reply that there are many bad people in this world and some of them are parents. For a while I thought about contacting her but I would always remember the stress involved. As for your situation I am sad to say that Marie experienced something similar from a very close family member. It manifested itself when she moved here with me so I hope that it will get better when we return. I had two brothers that died early due to their lifestyle choices. I was very proud of my oldest brother when he became a successful fashion designer (hint hint) I know that he would have been proud of the person that I grew to be. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Hello Bob,
It is very sad to hear that you and your brother have a gap in yawls relationship but instead of assuming he is jealous by your success why not think that he is happy for you and doesn't wish to ruin your happiness by dragging you down by burdening you with his problems. If you look at it that way could well be a a sign of brotherly love rather than jealousy that keeps him from communicating with you. I cant judge your brother without knowing him as to do such would be unfair to him.
My brother and myself have a relationship much like your brother and yourself also, in our case its nothing to do with jealousy though but is rather because we are simply very different people, I'm a half crazy recovering drunk with a rebellious streak and my brother though is a southern Baptist minister in my home state Mississippi.
Justin
Hi Bob,
We had the same reaction to the living conditions when we moved here. Funny really, much like having lions prowling the cities in South Africa????
As you know we went back to SA in December to get married, should have been a perfect family/happy time, Right??? Nope.
My sister , who I had so looked forward to seeing, was a misery. She perceives my life to be perfect and is horribly bent out of shape. I don't work, have someone wonderful to look after me…. so yes there are very good points. What she doesn't see are the hours of being totally alone and often very lonely, the frustration at not working and having a purpose, my own independence….. etc etc.
My point, and was raised by Jim too, is that people that are unhappy often blow your life out of proportion. And then don't like you for what they see.
You are a wonderful person, an astute business man and have a stunning wife and family, but no ones life is perfect. The people that are really unhappy with themselves don't see that. They also don't see that to be a good person, have a good family and relationships takes tons of hard work and effort. It doesn't just fall into your lap.
Funny that you brought up this topic because it is something that has been sitting in the back of my mind since December.
I hope one day our respective sibs come round.
hey Bob, sounds so familiar to me. both of my parets are decesed and we had 5 kids two of my older brothers died one from cancer and one was murdered. I have a sister that dosent contact anyone in the family because she stole all the money from my brothers estate and my last remaining brother although living in tha same town as me never bothers to call or visit me. I have always been the stable one in the family and i think he resents that. I have 8 step brothers and a step mom that has remarried and well just not that close. that is one reason i am coming to live there as I feel welcome as a family member and i am able to leave the drama behind. I know i should be sad but you can only beat a dead horse so many times. I am only saying this because i know my situation I don't know yours but if you feel you have a need to have a relationship with him you shouldn't let distance stop you. I wish i could have a relationship with my brother too but i know i can't. But i have 13 new immeadiate family members to look forward to having a relationship with 🙂
Hi Bob, I read the comments & looked for some perspective from fellow pinoys. I remember that you have pointed out this once and call it cultural difference but there is some disconnect here. I thought the whole thing was not worth to throw 5 years of no communication at least btween 2 brothers.
Among Filipinos, there is an admonition that could be adjusted accdg to the situation. Since you were the elder one, I would say "be patient w/ ur brother, call him now even if you think he's at fault". Or If you were the younger one, I would go "he's older to you, show some respect, call him now".
HI Bob,
I have a sis-in law (hubby's brother's wife) who seems to be unhappy with the success of our marriage. The funny thing is she used to be so nice to my husband when he was still living a lonely existence. Not to sound bragging, but we both were able to put our lives into proper perspective and were doing quite ok. 2 years ago, we visitied them and all his other relatives, we went to dinner that first night we arrived and thats the first and last time we saw her. We arranged some outing with them but she threw a tantrum and my bro in law was so embarrassed. Have no problems with other relatives. though. She wont talk to us on the phone too. well it dont help that my husband will joked on the phone that were basking in sunshine here in Florida while theyre shoveling snow in Ohio. (he-he-he) just kidding, people from the northside of the States, OK?
It's sad when something like this happens, Bob, and there just isn't that much we can do about it.
I get so many queries from folks who are only thinking about the costs to live here in the Philippines, or other simple day-to-day questions that they miss the important ones.
Living here for most Americans is truly a life-changing expereince and many, freinds and family, will have no concept of why we are doing it or how we are living.
And absolutely, there will be jealousy. Many people live with dreams all their lives and do nothing but think of reasons they can not realize them. When someone who once seemed like a perfectly normal "I can't do it" sort of person goes and actually "does" something, human nature often makes it hard for those lefrt behind to be happy for the one who went. The "crab mentality" is not exclusively a Fili[ino thing.
It's certainly something to think through very thoroughly on a personal level.
Bob,
Why not just ask your brother? That's what Id do, if hed not answer phone Id knock on his door.
Wouldn't put much faith in what told by others though as we men don't share our personal feelings much with friends and some people may just say things based on assumptions or whatever rather than on first hand knowledge.
Just seems best to when in doubt go direct to the source in a direct manner as that way you know where you stand and why you stand there.
Justin
Maayong Happon Bob
I have had some of the same issues with my sister and my wife has had problems of this type in her family also. I do not understand it because if I wanted to be jealous or envy some one else I would be envious of some one like Bill Gates. Then I would want to get to know him better to understand how to make money like he does. It is sad but I have seen jealousy destroy many lives and the only thing you can do is try to avoid these people.
Hello Bob,
You didn't tell me that you planned to send him a card in your previous reply to me as in your previous reply you said
"Hi Justin – I just want to clarify… I never said that I thought he was jealous. I think what I said was that I was told this by a mutual acquaintance. For me, other than what I have been told, I don’t have any idea of why he took on this attitude, and I don’t speculate about it. I only know what I’ve been told."
Regarding the other, Yes I had forgotten that your article stated that you had try to call him but his wife said he was gone out, busy or etc.
Anyway, It sounds like he has animosity towards you to hank up phone on you after talking to your mother. That said you idea is great just send the fellow a card and give him space to come around on his own terms, as they say you catch more flies with honey, just kill him with kindness.
You know would be to surprising if he maybe read your blog though because just because he harbors some ill feelings for whatever reason don't mean he'd not be curious what your up to as your still brothers and blood bonds run deep.
Justin
Hello Bob,
Could send him a singing telegram or a strip-o-gram to ask him to call. Who could stay angry at brother if brother gifted them with a singing guerilla or a hot stripper with double D's. Even if he decide not to call, surely you'll be feeling great knowing he probably enjoyed the guerillas and strippers. Stripper may not be great idea though as his wife maybe then would not be appreciative of such an effort.
Sorry don't mean to make light of your issue but just seems odd why brother would do that unprovoked by anything. I mean even though I don't converse with my brother for many years got no doubt if ever I need him hed be there and if ever he ask Id help him as well. Just do not converse because very different people and out of touch for to long.
Justin
Hello Bob,
That sounds like a great idea, just don't let it get you down to much as cant control other peoples actions, ideas, feelings or etc. Therefore makes not much sense to stress over it since you cant change another fellow to do what you want.
I don't think you probably stress over it but just wanted to point that out as I used to stress over such things and well it just kept me drunk, these days I just don't care what others think and concentrate on myself because what I do keeps me sober and works for me. Seems like simple thing that we cant control others but well us hard headed drunks spent years beating head against wall and getting same result each time before figuring out some lessons that may seem simple to others.
That said just send him the letter and Ill add you to prayer list so maybe my higher power can intervene in your situation.
Justin
Hi Bob, I've got three younger brothers in British Columbia, Canada (2 retired) and I have heard from them maybe once or twice in the 8 years I have been retired here in Austria. Everybody just seems to be so busy all the time.
Sending a card is a great idea – maybe send a photo of yourself along with it.
Honestly Bob, I am not pretending to be Justin LOL if by chance you might be thinking that
Hi Bob, I might be late again to jump on the wagon. I know the story already from you, because you told me during one of our last gatherings. I am pretty sure, that your brother -sad and painful to say- expected more negative stories from you and about you, your family and your several businesses. Even not having a brother and sister, I experienced this similiar situtation from (former!) friends in Germany. After a while i just cut off my communication with them, because I could feel a certain uselessness – especially after reading messages like "Are you sure, Klaus, you are happy and successful in your new life in the Philippines?"
Sure, I would wish you luck, if you and your brother would come together again one day. And, if not…? I am sure, you know already your personal answer.
I always wanted a sister or a brother when I was younger, but when I grew up and experienced the problems that my friends had, I must say, I still would like to have siblings, but I am also happy not to have any possible problems. I do feel sorry for you and your brother, I am sure that you are both losing, not having a good relationship.
I think it is a good idea, mentioned earlier, to send your brother a nice card, inviting him to visit you. My advice is, never stop trying to contact your brother, if you can, try to help him, if that is what he needs, to be more succesful in his career.
Problems are not only with siblings, We have a daughter, that lives only 20 miles from our place, that we have not seen or heard from in 2 years. She has a baby boy of 1 year, our grandson. that we have never seen. Gifts for x-mas and b-day, left on her doorstep, are being returned to our doorstep, when we are not home.
I know this does not help you in your situation, only to let you know, that you are not alone, and to tell you, never give up, trying to get back close to your brother, as we never will give up getting our daughter back.
Preben – I also agree with your first sentences. Sad to say – but I feel the same…
hi Bob,
there was a long period (6, 7 years ) when my brother and I had lots of difficulties communicating.I am the first born, went to university (he stopped his school at 16 ) and left France for Africa for 2 years and then England for more than 10 years (I am now on a long holiday in the Phillipines ! ).I was always the one trying to communicate and he did not made much efforts on his part.But I did not give up, sending messages for his birthday but also, it's true, never expressing the fact that I thought my life was a success because I felt he may have been insecure in front of me and a bit jealous.Then, after he got a child, things changed.He began to open up and we have a much healthier relationship.
So, there is always hope.
Bob do you find this type of behavior is common in the Philippines. From my experience and the many families I know here it seems to be more of an issue with Americans. The main reason is due to work, the demands of society and a lack of affection and attention to the children that goes along with that . When both parents work and kids are thrown into day care and dinner is a TV dinner and TV is the dessert well you get the idea. Doesn't matter if you live in a pup tent, Trailer Park or Park Avenue. Family just doesn't seem to be something that is cherished in the USA. I can't speak for Europe but I have to assuume familes are closer there. I think that there was a generational study done on this from the 1940's to present day and the effects of progress and especially (technology) TV has had on the family structure. My Dad who is 80 now had some of the best and closest friends and family I have ever seen to date.
Bob, sad to hear that a close family member won't speak to you. It's a bit like having leprosy.
But I feel maybe you may have contributed more to your situation than you think. Did you ever consider the feelings and the situation your bro might be in? Did you ever ask how HIS life is going?
At the end of the day people are more concerned with their own lives and their own wellbeing. Becoming successful annoys more people than you realise and it is easy to make enemies and especially if the people around you are doing poorly.
After all a successful man is truly rich if he shares his wealth with others.
When I came to the Pines and I was able to adapt to my new environment and I truly found joy here.
The only thing I tell my friends and family back home is that I am doing okay and all is well. I don't tell them I have a great partner who makes a great cup of coffee or that she's a great cook and lover or that I have two gorgeous brown and white daughters. Or that I am having a great time……time to do some thinking.
Thanks for your time Bob. I feel in time everything will come good and work out for both of you. I am sure you care very much about your bro. Goodluck.
Hi Bob- It just proves the green eyed monster is a terrible thing to have inside ones self.
I think he will come round to your way of thinking one day.
Kind regards.
Jim.
Bob,
Sorry I am a late commenter but it was a crazy day.
I have only a brother, if you can call it that. I have always said, the only thing we have in common is our parents.
Most of my adult life we never spoke much. He only talks to people that can help him in business. He would only call me to borrow money and then I would call wanting to know why I was not being paid or why the checks bounced.
At first when I moved here I would email him and he would reply. I would also call him on YahooPhone. Then it was back to the same old bro. Will not reply to emails.
Oh well, as the saying goes, you can pick your friends, not your relatives.
Hi Bob,
Of course I don't know your brother, but what has your mother told you? I would figure she still keeps in contact with her son, or maybe she doesn't…I don't know.
As for what my family thinks of me moving to the Philippines, the only one that calls me "crazy" is my grandmother, but that is only because she doesn't want me to leave. She is 96 years old, and she loved Rose and Chesca very much, but she still doesn't want me to leave. As for the rest of my family, I have three brothers and they are all for it, and just wish the best for us all. My mother isn't crazy about the idea either, but my dad told me….lol…he wishes he was a young man again…and he would go with me there to live…lol. So I really have no problems as far as myself moving away from them all here in USA. The communications is a lot easier now, so that won't be a problem.
I hope one day soon, your brother will see what he is missing out on, like being closer to the kids, and being a good uncle to them all, and of course a good brother to you, and a brother in law to Feyma.
Take care,
Danny
Hi Bob
Very true! You can't pick your relatives. I come from a large family. Five sisters, two brothers. We are scattered all over Canada. Two sisters I am in regular contact, three hardly once a year. One brother I have not seen in 30 yrs. One brother I had almost no contact with for 25 yrs. Three years ago he moved close to where I live. We make it a point to get together. And guess what! We discovered we like each other, not just as brothers, but as friends.
My family that I am in regular contact with cannot wait until a start going to the Philippines on a regular basis so they can come an visit.
I sounds like you have done all you can with your brother. It's up to him, but don't give up. You never know.
Good luck
hi bob,
kumusta? i feel bad with what happen to you and your brother…but i echoed one of the comments here…to not give up with your brother…he will eventually come to his senses one day upon realization of missing the opportunity of being a part of your life and your family…it might not be this time but hopefully soon…just keep pursuing him and believe that it will come a time that both of you will have second chances…
my husband got a similar situation with you also, he had two sister and a brother…they come from boston… and when his older brother decided to move to florida his younger sister was fascinated with the beauty of south florida and decided to settle in florida also..so, that leaves him and his sister in boston…when he finally make a decision to settle in florida after being in love with sun and the ocean ( he loves fishing)…his older sister got mad to all of them and didn't communicate with them for lots of years…my husband pursue her and putting his pride down and make his best to be in contact with her…during a funeral of their uncle they have reunion all of them and resolving to confrontations…and she finally open up and told them that she felt left alone and cant move on to the fact that they are enjoying the life while she is away and miserably missing them…missing her siblings and missing the time to bond with them…doing something together and have fun as a family…you know long distance relationship is hard to handle with her…she snapped them off her life and figure that she have to move on with her life without them because they're not there anyway! there are lot of tears and forgiveness and understanding happened during that time and they think that life is short to waste to sulking and jealousy…so, now they have second chances of knowing each other again by constant effort of supporting each other in anyway they can…every year we visit to boston twice to see her and her family and same way with her also, she come over to florida to visit us and finally enjoying her vacations with all her family here …it's not easy but it's always a work in progress at least now they all make efforts to stay connected!
i hope and pray that the same way will happen to you and your brother someday…good luck bob! but for now, just let him know that you are always thinking, loving and missing him and hope that he will open up one day for you and be happy for you so he can share with your happiness and same with you to him…:)
Hi Bob, I really understand what you are talking about with regard to your brother, I have had a similiar situation with my younger brother. Here is what I have learned , I can only do what I can do to develop a relationship or keep one going with my brother. I can be the best brother that I know how to be. My job as a brother to him is to always be calling him, sending him emails and writing him some letters periodically to show him that I really love him and his family. Of course if you know that he is jealous of your success, then obviously you wouldnt want to talk about that with him, but it doesnt mean that you cant keep talking to his wife and have her pass on messages to your brother, such as you love him and hope that all is well and that your door is always open. Peoples mind are funny things sometimes, but the more you keep doing your part and what is right instead of worrying why he will not talk to you, you will have a continued peace in your heart about this situation, knowing you were being the big brother. Love always wins Bob. As you know Bob, sometimes things just dont make sense and are very difficult to understand, but I do know this, if he were able to read all the messages from people you have helped on this site (including me), I am confident he would be really proud of you and know that his big brother is helping in the lives of people like me. I have a saying Bob, "JUST DO THE RIGHT THING", and whatever happens after doing the right is just going to happen. YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE RE-ACTION, BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTROL THE ACTION. Just my thoughts Bob.
Hi Danny – Thanks for your comment. As for my Mom, she has told me that she regularly tells my brother that he should call me, but he still doesn't do it.
Hi Allan Kelly – Your story about becoming friends with your one brother is quite encouraging! I like the sound of it!
Hi rica nicolo – Thanks for telling my about your husband his siblings, it is a good story to remember. The thing about my brother – both of us having experienced the death of our sister, he should understand that one of us could die anytime. It's important to maintain the relationship. Thank you rica.
Hi Michael Severy – Thanks for your words of encouragement. I think that your thoughts and mine are very similar.
I wouldn't call it jealousy per se. Maybe he is just exhausted with life. What good was it for him to know all this about you knowing he himself could never experience anything like it. He is probably stuck in the daily mundane waiting for time to pass. You are having what appears like this exotic life with exotic experiences, something he will never experience because of circumstance. He could also be cross at you for leaving, if you had a close bond then there is probably a sense of abandonment being felt.