Pretty much everything I write on this site is about having to make some kind of adjustment in your life when you decide to come and live in the Philippines. Although I have lived in only three countries in my life (USA, South Africa and the Philippines) I would venture to guess that any time you move from one country to another, there are adjustments that you will have to make. Even in countries that are very similar, for example, if you moved from the USA to Canada, which share many similarities, there are certainly adjustment that you will have to make.
I find it common that many Americans, when they come here for two weeks of vacation, they will tell me that it isn’t that much different here than in the States. They will tell me that it won’t require very much adjustment if they come to live here. Frankly, when you just come for two weeks or such a vacation time, it can be difficult to realize just how different it is here from your home country. I know that I used to feel the same before I lived here. When I was about to move here, a number of expats who already lived here warned me that it would be difficult to adjust to living in the Philippines, but I thought to myself that I had already been here many times, and just could not understand what would be difficult about it. Feyma was from here, and lived for the first 21 years of her life here, so it certainly could not be difficult for her to live here again, no adjustment would be required at all in her case.
Boy, I could not have been more wrong.
This morning, as I sat down to write this article, I started thinking of what things people would need to adjust to. I quickly came up with a short list of the very important ones… language, food, culture, weather. But, as I thought about it, I realized that I simply could not compile a comprehensive list of things that needed to be adjusted to. The fact is, that you will need to adjust in every aspect of your life.
Last week, an American fellow befriended me on Facebook. Almost immediately, he sent me a message and I replied to him. We kept exchanging messages from time to time over the next several hours. He told me that he was married to a Filipina for quite a few years (I have forgotten how many). He told me he was soon coming here for a vacation and wanted to meet. He told me that he was a plumber in the States, and was wondering if he could continue as a plumber in the Philippines, as he was planning to move here. I answered all of his questions as best I could, giving him honest answers, and pointing him to resources that I thought might be useful to him. His next message really floored me.
Bob, I’m really looking forward to moving to the Philippines, I can’t wait. I’ve never been there before, but I have loved the country for many years already.
Wait! Stop the presses!
What?
You’ve never been to the Philippines before, but you are in the middle of planning to move here? I’m sorry, but that is a big, big mistake! Frankly, even if you have been here dozens of times for vacations over the years, moving here is still going to be a big step for you. If you have never been here in your life, to be honest, you really don’t have any business even thinking of moving here. It’s way too early for you to make any such decision, or even to consider it.
The adjustments that will be required to live here are huge. They are not so apparent on the surface, but as you spend time here as a resident, the adjustments will sneak up on you, and become apparent.
On some things, you will have to change your life. On other things, you will have to do things to make the adjustment more tolerable. For example, the other day I wrote an article about how we are making bread with a bread machine. So, in the case of bread, we make our own. That is a change we made to make our life here more enjoyable, because the kinds of bread that we enjoy are not always available in stores here. In some parts of the Philippines, bread that fits western tastes is never available. Frankly, it is only going to be found in stores in big cities, and when you find it there it will be expensive. So, we did something (bought a bread machine) to make life more bearable and enjoyable. In other cases, you may find that there is nothing you can do.
Nothing you can do? You can always do something to make things better, right? Not necessarily. For example, the driving here is way, way different than it is in Western countries. Traffic on the roads can be near chaos to your western eyes. You will not be able to change the way traffic works here, and make everybody else drive the way that you are used to. There is no “bread machine” that you can buy that you push a button and suddenly traffic is orderly. No, my friend, in this case you have two choices.
- Don’t drive. Use Taxis. Ride in Jeepneys. Use some kind of public transportation to get around, just don’t drive yourself. If you do this, you will leave the hassle to somebody else, but you likely will still be sitting there looking out at traffic and will be scared, or at least apprehensive at what you see.
- Accept the way driving is done here. I adjusted the way I felt about traffic, and started driving the way they do here. Now, I don’t find it scary or even strange the way they drive here. I am able to drive with confidence, without fear, and I get where I want to go.
Basically, if you want to live here, when it comes to adjusting to the way traffic works here, those are your choices. If you can’t choose one of those, you better just not move.
So, when you think about it and try to decide what kind of adjustment you will need to be making, just accept that pretty much every aspect of your life will be different in some way. That’s not necessarily bad, in many cases it is good. You get to re-invent yourself, try to improve yourself as you adjust. It is not easy to make all of these adjustments either, but nothing in life is easy anyway. Just accept it, or don’t try to make the move.
The first rule of driving, never, NEVER, look before pulling into traffic. Yielding the right of way is rude and can be considered an insult to some drivers.
Sorry Bob, had to get my sarcasm fix =P
You’re so right, I’m still adjusting to everything, have been here since Sept. I’ve visited many times, and even lived here for about two years in the late nineties, but having been away so long, many of the adjustments are required all over again. For example, I’ve forgotten much of the language I had picked up before – although it’s surprising how much I still remember.
Hi Gary – Absolutely, adjustment takes time, and is never really complete, in my experience. For me, and for Feyma, it took about 5 years to become pretty happy and comfortable with the new lifestyle choice we made when we moved here.
Bob;
You are so right, example: I left Puerto Rico after Hurricane Hugo and moved to Florida, after 9 years of the Puerto Rican way of living,it was a big adjustment back to U.S. living again, not counting the traffic tickets, as I still drove like I was on the Island.
I’d been coming to the Philippines since the mid 60’s, and thought I knew all there was to know, wrong again! Visiting is not even close to day to day living.
Driving here, well I did learn something from Puerto Rico so that was not so bad.
Living got better after I taught myself to not try to swim against the flow, but to just go with it.
Here’s one that just happened, as I’m typing this we had a brownout, I walk to the back fire up the generator and now I’ll finish typing, smiling the entire time. Enjoy the day Bob!
Hi Paul – I often tell Feyma that if we went back to the states, and rented a car, I’d get arrested within 5 miles from the airport. They would not take kindly to my driving style! Ha ha… I don’t think I could revert back to the old style of driving either. Ha ha…
driving in the pinas reminds me of my video game grand theft auto.good advice for driving in the pi drive it like you stole it. lol
Ha ha… that’s a new strategy!
Totally agree, Bob. It’s ADJUST or BUST. 😉
http://liveinthephilippines.com/2009/12/stop-stay-away/
Hi Paul – Adjustment adds spice to life! 😉
As a visitor there Bob, I have observed that some things that can be accomplished here ( and for that matter probably in the home country of others as well ) in a matter of minutes can often end up taking hours there. I think having to become more ” patient ” with many things would be a major adjustment, at least for me it would.
Hi Bob – That is very true, there are so many adjustments to make. When it comes to things taking a long time… well, you do need to learn some patience. Also, though, if you have a helper – maid, or extended family, you can rely on those kind of people to be very helpful to you in handling stuff like that, which I am grateful for!
yeah filipino time is definetly differnt from american time. this is my adjustment issue i tend to freak out when ppl have a lazy day attitude.my wife says i need to quit over reacting
Hi jason – It took me a long time to adjust to that… I’m not sure I can say I am fully adjusted to it even after 10 years.
Bob,
For a moment, I thought you were referring to me in your article until I read “his next message”. As you, Bob, are aware I have been to visit the Philippines twice in 2009. I met my girlfriend, Anafe, online in March 2009. Upon my first visit to meet Anafe and her family, in person in July of ’09 I was, not shocked, but intrigued by everything! The traffic and driving habits I encountered in Ozamiz in Mindanao reminded me of New York City. My last visit, in December, I had the pleasure of having access to a friend’s van at my disposal. I was looking forward to learning to tackle the challenge of driving in the Philippines. I decided I just had to jump right in the deep-end, so to speak. Well, when I suggested to my girlfriend that we go to Oroquieta to visit her other family members she asked me who would drive the van. I told her, “I have my license, I know how to drive, I’m gonna drive.” (I’m the man)
Well, in my mind, I reverted back to 1978 when I first drove in New York City. After coming close to getting hit by more than a few taxicabs that night I came to the realization that I had to drive as they do. This was my mindset while driving in the Philippines…learn by example. Anafe could not believe how quickly I adjusted to driving around the province and the city.
I know that living there permanently is completely different from visiting for a few weeks at a time. I have been contemplating making the move; especially after shoveling more than 3 feet of snow over the past 5 days. I believe that it could be almost another year before I am prepared to make the move and feel comfortable enough to deal with the adjustments. I keep two major thoughts in mind…I’ll have the love and support of my two girls and her family and “what will be will be, deal with it”.
I’m looking forward to my 2 week visit in June. I’ll be experiencing the Visayas on this visit.
Greg G from Philly
Hi Greg G – Ha ha.. no, I was not talking about you on the article.
What is it about shoveling snow? It always makes people consider moving here!!! 😉
cause in the phils u can sub out all the back breaking work you dont want to do for 300 to 500 pesos a day. i had to shovle my truck out while im here working for the next 15 weeks in illinois and i was thinking the whole time if i was in the phils i could pay someone else to do this.
snow: its that exhilarating driving moment you hit your brakes and begin they slow but sure sideways slide at 40 mph thru a major intersection all the while your radio is blasting that seasonal song “dashing thru the snow..” your singing..or was it screamming? intereupted by the paniked bellows of an 18 wheelers horn who is also sharing the same enlightning driving experince as you are…ah yes those glazed over silver dollar sized eyes of both drivers as the moment of truth arrives…. Got me Bob…I like snow ~!
Ha ha… brian… that’s a classic! 😯
I actually decided in one day I was going to move to the Philippines. I had been here a couple of times before but the last time was over 15 years earlier when I had been previously married to a Filipina. I don’t know I just woke up one day and said I’m moving to the Philippines. The reasons are not so important. I packed up 15 balikbayan boxes and a couple of crates and shipped them to my ex in-laws. Put my house up for sale and all its contents. Sold it at the height of the market in the states and I was on my way.
Bob you are absolutely correct about adjusting but I didn’t find it so extreme. My first few months were spent in Manila so that was a fairly easy transition. I then moved to a popular place in the Visaya where there were many ex-pats and that transition was not that bad either. The only things that drove me crazy and still does to this day are: NOISE….Filipinos seem to love noise the louder the better and it drives me nuts especially with driving and horns even though I love to drive here with no fear. COMPLACENCY – A country with a definite manana attitude. POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE – you can generally never count on people showing up or to follow up.
Other than this I love the place and complain rarely. I even like the corruption (NOT WHAT IT IS DOING TO WHAT COULD BE A REALLY GREAT COUNTRY) as it makes my life easier. I know I can pay for whatever I want in a bureaucratic sense
And the country is getting easier to be and live in everyday and will continue to as more investment makes it more modern and thus more comfortable and western in convenience. Now if they can only do something about the food and bandwidth hahahah.
Hi agree john, that the Philippines is getting better and easier to live in as each day passes. Living here now is a breeze compared to 10 years ago when I came here. For others who have been here longer, I am sure they can really tell stories! 😉
Your story is an interesting one, thanks for sharing it.
Hi Bob,
I’m here in “South” Georgia, and looking at a weather report that it will be snowing by evening here. I don’t think I will have to shovel any as it usually only last one day, but Tagum is looking better and better all the time. I know there will be adjustments, but there always are whether it is a new job or new location, and I love change anyway. It keeps things interesting. I have driven in Tagum city and the province, it was very nerve racking, but I can adjust. I think I could actually live in a nipa hut with no current or aircon, but right now I have a nice 2 kwarto up and down apartment waiting on me in Tagum City. I think I will be alright.
Hi Richard! Ha ha… yes, I can imagine that when the snow starts falling there will be visions of Tagum dancing in your head! I can’t blame you!
Hi Bob
I’ve been to the Philippines many times with my longest stay being 2 months. The biggest problem that I had was what to do with my time. That is one reason why I am now in the U.S. but I still have plans to move to the Philippines, possibly when the business I work at gets sold or closed down. My brother’s co-worker an engineer moved to Brazil to be with his gf. He quit his job and sold his house. He lasted only two weeks, but he was able to get his job back. I do not know why he lasted only 2 weeks. My question for this plumber, is how do you know if you love the Philippines when you have never visited the place, because if you really loved the place you would have visited it already. He justs loves what he envisions what the country is. The reality may be quite different.
Hi Neil – I don’t ever have a problem deciding what to do with my time! I need a lot more hours in the day, because I am way too busy! Ha ha…
I agree, I don’t understand how somebody can love a place that they have never been too! 😯
Sage advice, Bob!
I suppose that I’ve been dragging my feet a bit in getting things cleared up, here, and getting down there, for that very reason; the knowledge that I will have to adapt, again. I don’t think that I ever really adapted to going to bed so early & being woken up by half a dozen bloody roosters! … And, when they’re prepping for a party, the squealing of the pig being bled. Ah well, for the short-term I suppose my alcohol consumption will go up a bit.
Hi Mike – Those roosters do keep you on a regular sleep schedule of getting up early, and sleeping early! At least they serve some purpose!
Hi Bob.
My employment in Saudi Arabia came to an abrupt stop last week due to the inevitable worsening economic climate and my decision to finally take up residence in Davao was thrust upon me.
Unfortunately I have already come across red tape regarding taking up residency in as much as I have lived out of UK for some 7 years and certain documents I need to process residency appear to need notarization in my home country.
My point in writing is that if there are any of your readers who can point me in the right direction as to getting some of the paperwork things done locally and legally I would be obliged.
I do not want to return to UK at great expense just to get a stamp on a piece of paper.
I have been in touch with Klaus Dorning who has highlighted some of these points but I wonder if any of your readers have real life experience of addressing these problems at a local level.
I am not trying to cut corners just trying to ease my way into settling down as painlessly as possible.
If I have to go back to UK I wonder whether someone like Jim Cunningham can advise of the procedures necessary to get the job done as quickly as possible.
thanks in advance of any advice.
HI David – You should be able to come here on a tourist visa, stay here for a while, and then file for your residence Visa from here. If you are already consulting with somebody else for this, I’ll leave it between you and him, as I don’t want to give conflicting advice. Just make sure that he knows what he is doing, though.
hee hee this is a good one Bob..love driving in the Philippines ..Like you say you have to learn to drive like a Filipino – horn honking , foot on the gas …Away we go 🙂 I’ve been here almost 9 months now Bob doing great…still learning too probably will for the rest of my life too…. Phil n Jess
Hi Phil – Yes, I agree, I also will still be learning for the rest of my life as well!
Hi Bob.
As you often say in your write ups..gather as much information as you can on a subject………..conflicting advice is sometimes useful in as much as it gives rise to caution.
Ive read a lot on residency over the months and I was only trying to get some real life..real time advice from any of your readers esp UK expats who have been through the mill recently.
Dont want to go down the wrong road ..Just want to quietly settle with my family here in Davao.
If it is possible that you can point me in the right direction to communicate with Jim Cunningham I would be obliged.
Also like to meet for a coffee sometime soon as I believe you have a regular coffee morning somewhere in Davao?????.
thanks.
Hi David – I will send your e-mail address to Jim for him to contact you.
I don’t have the coffee get togethers any longer, since I became a coffee hobbyist, I can’t really drink coffee in coffee shops… it just doesn’t taste that good! 😆 Let me know, I’d be happy to get together for lunch or something sometime, though!
Hi David- Bob has contacted me and I have sent you a mail today.Sorry to hear about your situation in the job front I will only be too pleased to try and help a fellow reader if I possibly can.
Regards.
Jim.
Hi Jim….Thanks for your emails.
They have given me a good starting point….I fully expect to get asked for things I don’t have to hand but at least I am not going in completely blind.I will keep you informed of my progress.
Again many thanks.
Best regards
David
Hi Bob
Many thanks…Jim Cunningham has been in touch and has given me some sound advice already.
I have arrived in Davao and unpacking and getting acclimatised.
Once I have settled a few personal issues I would be happy to meet for a bite and a chat.
I will get in touch to arrange details through your LIP site.
best regards
David
Glad to hear that the two of you are in touch now, David!
Bob makes a great point in this article.
There is a big difference between visiting a place settling down. I spent about a year living in Mexico City back in the late 80’s. It was quite an adjustment for me dealing with a new language and culture. You don’t know which was is up or down in the beginning. But if you are flexible and patient, you will adapt over time.
Sometimes culture shock shows up in ways that one would never suspect. I received dental care in the Philippines for the first time last November 2009. My dentist saw some cavities and asked if I’d like them taken care of right away. I said yes and she proceeded to drill without anesthesia. I had assumed that anesthesia would be applied first, as is the case in US dentistry. I had to have her stop and then apply anesthesia. According to my fiance, dentists in the Philippines usually drill without anesthesia; ouch.
Another thing I discovered is that having experienced culture shock in another country does not exempt you from experiencing it a different country. However, it seems that the second time around the adaptation process is easier since you realize before hand that things will be different in your new home.
Steve
Hi Steve – Thank you for adding your observations! It’s interesting how you describe experiencing culture shock twice like that.