Some of the people reading this site are Filipinos. Probably a few more than that are foreigners who live in the Philippines. But, the vast majority of LiP readers are people who want to move to the Philippines. Many people looking to move here think that the Philippines is paradise. I have always written that it is not paradise. There are lots of problems here. Many things that you won’t understand. So many things that you won’t be able to figure out. Paradise it is not. I always tell people that there is no such thing as paradise anywhere on earth, and the Philippines is no exception.
Truth is, for most of you who move here, you will look forward to the move for several years. You will be excited and that excitement will grow the closer your moving date is. There is one thing, though, that you won’t believe when I tell you. This is something I have told you many times in the past.
You won’t like living in the Philippines
If you are like the vast majority of others who move to the Philippines, it won’t take long, you will hate it here. Everything is so inconvenient. Pretty much anything you set out to do involves hassle. Sometimes when you see the way things are done you will mutter to yourself… it’s idiotic. It’s crazy. It makes no sense. You may or may not make it here. Don’t burn your bridges back home, because you may end up returning. Right now, when you read this, in your mind you are saying…
It will never happen to me.
I have heard that so many times, only to see the people who said it heading off to the airport for their return “home,” unable to make it in the Philippines. Recently, I had a friend move to the Philippines. At first he was very gung ho about living here. After just a few weeks passed, when I saw him at the mall, he had mostly bad things to say. He was not happy. I thought to myself that he had only been here a few weeks, and was not giving himself time to adjust. But, you can’t really speak negatively to a person like that, it will only drive him away. He won’t be a friend anymore. So, I encouraged him to hang in there, and give himself time to adjust. About a month after that chance meeting, I heard through the grapevine that my friend had already booked his tickets to go back to the States. I was sad to hear it, but I had already come to expect it. My friend later told me that he would be coming back to the Philippines at a later date, and I hope that is so.
When I talk to other long term expats and the topic turns to new guys moving here, we all have experienced the same thing… so many people leave the country before they have given life here a chance. There are usually a few reasons why this happens.
- These folks were looking for paradise, and quickly figure out that the Philippines is not paradise.
- Financial reasons, these folks quickly figure out that the Philippines is not nearly as cheap as they thought it was.
- Cultural reasons. Philippine culture is vastly different than western cultures, and it’s a difficult adjustment.
The bulk of the “leavers” fall into one of those categories. Of course there are other reasons too, but these are the main ones that I see.
One of our other LiP writers, Paul Thompson, always says that when he hears complaining from expats here, he always offers to give them a ride to the airport, so I am quite sure that Paul knows what I am talking about here.
How are you going to deal with it?
You don’t have to be one of those guys who leaves the Philippines because you can’t make the adjustment! Not at all. The thing is, you need to come here with a plan. Come here prepared for things to not be perfect. Come here armed with information. Fact is, since you are reading this website, and likely reading other sites too, you are probably better armed then the average person who moves here. You are getting information, and hopefully using that information to help you better prepare for your move. Fact is, though, a lot of times I write similar articles to this one, and I hear from people who always say things like “that will never happen to me.” Know what? Those are the people who it ends up happening to!
I have written many times on this site that when Feyma and I moved here in 2000, we made a commitment to each other that no matter how we felt about the Philippines after moving here, we would stay for a minimum of 5 years. That amount of time would give us plenty of opportunity to make the adjustments that would be required of us. As it turned out, we were right on the mark, because for most of that 5 year period, we had a tough time adjusting. But, once we made the adjustment, we loved living here, and we still do.
So, is it paradise now?
Yes, we love living here now. Is it paradise? Not even close. Just like every other person in the world, we have problems. There is nobody who has a perfect life. It doesn’t matter where you live, your life will have problems for you to deal with. But, if you arm yourself with information, and if you allow yourself the ammunition necessary to deal with the problems you will face in the Philippines, you can and will adjust to life here. I know, because I did it. You can too, I know that as well.
So, come and live a comfortable life in the Philippines. Just don’t come looking for a perfect life, because you won’t find that anywhere. Remember, though, I told you… you won’t like living in the Philippines…. at least at first. If you give yourself time, though, you’ll like it just fine!
Hi Bob,
Personally, I think part of a successful move and adapting to life here will depend on a couple of things. First is the mind set of the individual and his/her or their expectations when they first arrive. So many come expecting life to be easy here and figuring things they enjoy in their home country such as Television, Grocery stores with huge selections of canned vegetables or even the same kind of produce, A constant supply of high pressure water and reliable electricity. Those things just do not exist here. Secondly is the location they choose to settle in. People like yourself and a few others are happiest in large Metro areas with big Malls and lots of good restaurants. People like me are happier in a rural setting and are more like aging Boy Scouts on endless camping trip. Just keeping enough water stored for bathing and doing laundry can be a challenge I was without electricity for 5 days up until yesterday. I lost a freezer full of food and my temper a couple of times until I finally got the attention of the electric coop yesterday morning. But for me and my Filipino neighbors this is just part of everyday life and I was prepared for this when I chose my lifestyle here.
Hi Joe… Thanks for the comment. You are right, expectations are a big factor in success and happiness. Location does play a big role too. For example, we do have fairly good water pressure and also we have constant electricity here in Davao. I would say that over the past year we have had maybe 3 or 4 brownouts, none lasting longer than 5 minutes. I can live with that. Perhaps others cannot. The challenges vary with your location, no doubt.
Hi Bob,
I might think that overestimating how many people around you are going to truly want to or be able to communicate in the English language where you live. Although people might get tired of hearing it, learning some of the local language can cut down on many frustrations, and give a better sense of involvement and input in many day-to-day happenings and issues. Also a way to fight the sense of lonliness or isolation that might also contribute to hating the Philippines.
As you said, making and having good friends can be a big help, be they locals or fellow expats. The expat friendships are something I’d like to work on more in the future.
Hi Queenie – You sure are correct. Lots of people who move here think, or say “I don’t need to learn the language, they all speak English anyway.” Well, that is true, to an extent. Pretty much everybody here can speak some amount of English, but mostly it is a limited amount. The other thing, even those who are very good in their English skills.. once the gather into a group, they don’t speak English, they speak their local language, and you are sitting there left out. Learning the local language will be a great step toward being happy while living in the Philippines.
hi bob,
looking forward to read about the most interesting interactions you’ve had with locals since learning how to speak visayan some years back.
cheers,
Nice to hear from you BizDoc, it’s been a while. Hmm… I had not thought of writing such an article, but it might be an interesting one. I’ll think about it and see what I can come up with.
Hey Joe,
I like the categorization of you as “an aging boy scout on an endless camping trip.” That was cool and that is probably the best attitude to have when living in the country. You can create your own inventions to make life better using a little practical science. I’ll keep that in mind when and if I decide to come to the Philippines.
Hi Joe,
I was wondering, are your water limitations because of lack of all day water pressure in your area? Have you considered purchasing a stainless steel water tank? You can get a good sized one for about P5000, and you can fill it when you have pressure and daily add to it so you always have enough water. You can also have it raised up on a metal or cement platform to help with water pressure if that’s a problem for you.
Sorry–no real solutions to the brownouts though!:)
Oh yes there is, i have been off grid on solar panels for 3 years already! outback power systems can be purchased in manila.
“Aging Boy Scouts on an endless camping trip.” I love that description Joseph. Reminds me of me. Then, I remember that it’s my wife’s retirement also. We won’t be living in a nipa hut.
Take care,
Pete
Expecting television, water, and electricity isn’t exactly what I consider expecting too much. After reading this, expecting me to attempt living in the Philippines is definitely expecting too much!
Hi , I am thinking about moving out there when I have some money saved , would you be able to tell me how much food an stuff is there ? Like for living an water an such ?
Check this article:
http://liveinthephilippines.com/cost-comparison/
Great message
Thanks, John, I am glad that you found it useful.
I really did, since we are in the process of moving to the Philippines. I like the 5 year idea and I am having my wife read the article now. Thanks again
You are most welcome, John.
Attitude and expectations. It is – as said – not paradise here. Sure we can find places and beaches that seems to be paradise, but that’s not the daily life.
I have lived here for 1 year now, and still feel happy and satisfied. Not once have the thought of going back been in my head.
Sure – a lot of things can be annoying and frustrating, but with a little use of understanding, being a little flexible things work out fine. Things are done very different to the way i am used to from a western country, things take time and some times not really logic to me. Still things are solved and works fine, just done in a different way.
We as foreigners must learn that the way we do things isn’t the only right way to do it.
I have learned a lot from Filipinos, learned to be patience, learned to do things different and with a lesser use of technical tools and help.
Attitude do make a difference, if your attitude is negative and complaining, your life here will be short, time to go back. If you can keep a (mostly) positive attitude you will find out and learn a lot of new things and a new way to live life. Some western people here do also have a “superior” attitude, like they know best and their way is the best and only way. Forget it, that won’t work here. I have learned that the way things are done here, is the best way to do it, different from “my way” yes, but not worse, just different.
Be open, be positive, be willing to learn and be humble. that will make life a lot easier.
Hi Axel – You hit the nail on the head today! Your comment is right on the mark. One thing you said, which I totally believe in is that we foreigners must learn that the way we do things is not always the right way. There are many “right ways” to do things, just because certain things are done differently in the Philippines does not make it the wrong way, or a stupid way of doing it, and such. I have been saying that for years already, and I’m glad that you felt the same way too.
Being positive and having a positive attitude is the first step toward having a happy life!
HEY BOB
Love reading all this stuff.I am awaiting visa for my Philipino
wife to come to Australia.But I do want to at least entertain
the thought of relocating us to her home.I don’t know if its
possible yet as I am a realist and not a risk taker but at my age
and a new start in life,it could be a brilliant thing.
Look forward to more of your ideas.Please email me soon.
Kind Regards
Hi Pete L B – Well, it’s really a personal choice. Maybe you could do like I did… have your wife come and live in your country for 10 years or so, then both of you move back to the Philippines. The best of both worlds. You just gotta do what is right for you and your wife! Good luck to you.
HEY BOB,
Much appreciate your prompt reply.
To be honest that is exactly the plan of action.
We have only now lodged spouse visa application
but it appears at present that the Australian gov.
don’t want anything to do with Philippine people coming here.,
be it visitor or permanent.Therefore the mind has begun ticking
about other solutions.I am self employed and cannot go winging
here there and everywhere every few months to visit my wife
for years on end.Thats why I am curious about the relocating
option.
A lot to think about.Hope to hear from you again.
Kind Regards
Pete L B
Hi Pete, you said you are self employed. I don’t know what kind of business you have, but see if you can figure out a way to keep your business but do the work here. That is a great solution if you can do it.
HEY BOB,
Yes,I am self employed but I doubt theres a need for lawn and garden contractors there.
I have a strong interest in sailing and thinking along the lines of some kind of charter thing.
Probably beyond me but?All that aside I am seriously thinking my way into this as as I said
I have doubt the Australian government want to hand out visas to Philippine people.
My wife is working inHK but the family reside in Bulacan.
I don’t expect you to answer my questions really but hope you don’t mind me mailing you.
Its good just talking and perhaps kicking thoughts around.
Regards
PETE
Hi Pete – I guarantee that I could make money with lawn and garden contractor knowledge while living here in the Philippines. And, I’d never cut a lawn or get my hands dirty either! 😉 It can be done, you just have to think outside the box and get a little creative.
If you wish to e-mail me, I will gladly answer you. I get about 800 e-mails per day, but I do my best to answer each and every one. Sometimes it might take a few days for me to get back to you, but I will.
Hello Bob,
I read your article with some misgivings.
While appreciating the strong advice you gave towards ensuring individuals planning to move to the Philippines do not consider the place a paradise; I think it would have been better if you’d simply written on individual expectations and attitude towards change.
This is because, depending on the location one would be moving from, the Philippines could become ‘paradise’; it all depends on comparison between what the individual desires, and what prevails.
Some minutes back, I read an article on the pros and cons of living in the Philippines. From the article, one would be able to grasp that living in the Philippines (or anywhere else in the world) is a matter of perspective. And one of the strong points the article outlined, and which I’ve seen in several places (and really do value the potential of its availability here) is the value for ‘relationships’ that exist in the Philippines.
However, we all do have different outlooks.
I really do hope you’d write an article on the benefits of moving to the Philippines, while ensuring that the reader is informed of the process of managing his/her expectations.
Thanks and plenty success to you.
Regards
Hello Croesus – I guess everybody’s definition of paradise is different. For me, paradise is perfection. It is peaceful, no worries, no bothers. There is no paradise anywhere on earth, my friend. There are bills to pay, annoyances no matter where you go. Because of this, I say that the Philippines is not paradise – far from it in fact. Maybe your definition is different than mine, it probably is if you think at all that the Philippines is paradise.
I find it a little humorous, your comment, though. Nothing bad about you. It’s just that a lot of people tell me that I “sugar coat” life in the Philippines, and make it sound better than it is, while you are saying the exact opposite. No matter what I write, it can’t please very person, no doubt. But, you say that I should write an article about the benefits of moving to the Philippines! Amazing. I have written hundreds, probably thousands of such articles! It won’t be hard to find them here on this site!
Take care.
Hello Bob,
I absolutely agree with you. However, after having had several setbacks, some which were life-threatening, I arrived at the conclusion that one significant attribute for remarkable living is an attitude of gratitude to the events that unfold as we go about our daily activities.
Thus I maintain this attitude of openness, curiosity and adventure, regardless of the location I reside.
In one sense, I’m guilty; I have not been through the whole site. I would take up on your offer and do so.
Please do have a splendid time, and a wonderful weekend coming.
Sincerely.
Hello Coresus – Thanks for visiting my site. Yes, I would recommend going through the entire site! In all, there are about 4,000 articles on the site, plenty of information to inform you well about life in the Philippines.
Have a great day!
Hello Axel, as Bob says, you “hit the nail on the head” – be patient, humble, and not so arrogant (my comment!). Life here is very good – just different – ADAPT!
Exactly, John.
so Bob, what adjustments did u all make and why did it take 5 years? What were the 3 biggest adjustments ?
Hi Kevin – You know, that is a fairly tough question. I had not thought in terms of what adjustments were necessary, only that I knew we made many adjustments. I will say that the adjustments were much more difficult for Feyma than for me. That probably sounds unbelievable, but I know lots of Filipina/Foreigner couples who have moved back here after extended stays overseas, and the adjustment is always more difficult on the Filipina than the foreigner, from what I have seen.
So, in Feyma’s case, she had a number of tough adjustments. When Feyma was still in school here, she was part of the group of “poor kids” – she was not terribly poor like some, but was certainly not rich. The others in that group still remained friends, but they kind of shunned her when we returned to the Philippines. She had an American husband, so she could not be considered “poor” anymore, and thus was not really welcome in that group anymore. She was kind of sought after by some of those who were “rich” in high school, but Feyma felt that some of them had shunned her in school, and felt bad that they wanted to be friends now, but had rejected her before. There were also family issues for her to deal with. Many in her family came right out and said that Feyma was not the same as she was 10 years earlier when she left the Philippines. Well, of course, she had matured and become more worldly. Lots of these kinds of issues.
For me, I had my own issues to deal with, but not as daunting as Feyma’s. When you are a foreigner here (especially back in those days), you get treated differently, in a more “special” way. This leads to you coming to feel that you are indeed special, better than others, more deserving, etc. That is something that must be dealt with. Another thing is that as a foreigner, you tend to get a lot of “extra attention” from women here. Temptation is difficult to avoid. If you are single, hey, no problem. If you are married and want to maintain a good relationship with your wife, this can be tough to deal with. There are so many other things, Kevin, stuff that I just can’t remember right now.
Why did it take 5 years? I don’t know, I just know that is how long it took. I also see others deal with similar issues after moving here, and they take years to deal with it too. There are some others who show obvious signs of not being able to deal with the problems, and live a miserable life of complaining and ranting. even after living here for many years.. way more than 5 years. So, it may take less than 5 years for some, and it may take a lot more than 5 years for others. Some will never make the adjustment.
Doesn’t really matter where geographically located one is. Many Filipinas I know of, somehow choose to flirt with any men , both foreign or of their own race, esp. when they are aware of that person’s financial, professional and social status. Many of these men are married and yet these women are tactless to flirt with these married men no matter whether these men are with their wives. Some men are loyal to their wives but many marriages were ruined because of these infidelity. These type of people just don’t care who they are hurting in the process, as long as they got what they want, mostly financial security , in the case of women.
Yes, I have experienced similar things too, phhong.
good article and lots of “food for thought”. like i have said before…..people are different and handle the same circumstances in different ways. i do think the biggest key to moving to an unfamiliar place is “dont set your expectations too high.” also learn to be flexible in your thinking. I call it being able to “think outside the box” because I am sure nothing in the Philippines is typical of what an expat is used to. myself, I am looking forward to the change and the whole learning adventure. also, it is necessary to look for as many positives as you can find and not dwell on the negatives. for my son and I, we have been given plenty of time and some major challenges here which we have learned to overcome. our electric still goes here every day even though the bill is almost out of my affordability. we became homeless in 2009 and had to build ourselves a little portable house on this rented country lot. we went over a year without any running water except a hose in the summer months and no bathroom facilities. because of having to spend money to finish the interior of our house, we could no longer afford to fix or replace our truck anymore so we have lived here two miles from any conviences for two years now. and only go for shopping when someone can take us which is most likely twice a month. we have poor internet and phone service here and we have very little connection to family and friends. It is almost like reading a blueprint of our future. we have had to make adjustments and contend with living conditions we never felt possible. and guess what, we have made it. we dont see that there is much here for us to come back to. so, who thinks we will “chicken out” and come back to Missouri? I havent seen returning to the U S on the blueprint that seems to have been printed out for us. and who knows, maybe the Philippines will be paradise for us. Its all a mindset. but for sure, many things people need to be prepared for when they get there. good to tell it as it is Bob cause “sugarcoating” things may mislead some potential expats to not be ready for what they may encounter there. In most ways, I think we are ready……ready for the challenge at least.
Donna, your story reminds me of a lady I know from Tennessee. After being widowed, she was dropped off by relatives on a plot of rural land with only a storage shed for shelter. Pretty much on her own, she modified the shed to make it liveable . She became a self published author & self help advisor, earning enough to build a real house with an off grid electrical system. I don’t know if Bob allows links to be posted. If so, I’ll post a link to her blog.
Take care,
Pete
Feel free to post the link, Pete.
Thanks Bob. Here it is. Her philosophy isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but she prospered under circumstances that would have caused many people to give up.
http://cheryl-patton.blogspot.com/
Take care,
Pete
thank you for sharing the widow ladys success story. sometimes we all need to be inspired and you can share my story to anyone you like. afterall, maybe it will help or inspire someone. my son and I have strengthened our character and became more humble through the adversity in our lives. also, i can relate to the tennessee widow because our only shelter here was a 16 foot by 20 foot metal clad storage building. but now it has more than tripled in size and it is a comfortable home for my son and I. we have no reason to complain but feel pride for what we have made out of practically nothing. all we really need when we get to the Philippines is some inspiration for our hearts and all will be well. thank you bob and LIP for letting me express myself here.
You are most welcome, Donna. I wish you only the best.
Hi Donna – Yes, people do handle circumstances differently. Making a move half way around the world is a tough move, especially moving into a totally different culture. It is not an easy move to make, although many people think that it is.
Having learned to overcome the challenges facing you, Donna, means to me that you will have an easier time adjusting to life in the Philippines. I hope you do well in the move, and I believe you will.
You’ve had a tough life, and I wish you the best.
I am still new to living here 5 months in. Even with all the reading and multi-month visits I acquired in the Philippines it has turned out to be an eye opening experience. As Bob pointed out, it can be an amazingly frustrating experience to get something done here.
I have learned to apply the idea that labour is so cheap here they just throw people at a job instead of investing in better skill training or technology. It has allowed me to rationalize why they do the things the way they do them. Also be willing to smile say thank you and walk away when you get the same negative response again is invaluable. Coming back the next day and talking to someone else sometimes illicits your required response.
Hi Kyle – You are so right with your observation, and the way you have chosen to deal with it. Being able to adapt and be a bit flexible is a big key to a happy life here.
In fairness Bob, people who come to live here in the Philippines all have their own reasons and expectations. If you take us for example we waited till both our children had graduated university and we had built sufficient funding over a long period of time before we decided to take the plunge to come and live here. We are truly retired and not under any pressure to have to make money in order to survive like some people have to do. The economic climate here is like a see-saw with ever increasing costs for rent, utilities, food etc., not to mention health care which is a problem for the less young amongst us, which eventually happens to us all. The ones I see fail here are those where the couple are not as one or simply they underestimated the cost of living here or the relationship breaks down. All the other reasons for giving up stem from these initial problems. But the most important reason for staying on the other hand is a good woman and the willingness to adapt, despite what’s going on around you.
Regards.
Jim.
Hi Jim – In fairness, I don’t think I ever said that people don’t have their own reasons.. of course that is true. Your example of why, when and how you moved here is much different than mine, so of course our challenges are different. That does not mean that one is better than the other, only that they are different.
That said, what you say about a good woman and a willingness to adapt are very true, no matter the reason or circumstances of the move.
Bob, when I use the term in fairness its an expression only not a fact.
Regards.
Jim.
Hi Jim, when I hear that term, it means to me that what I wrote was not fair to all, and you are saying what you are saying so that it will be more fair.
I do understand that we come from different parts of the world, though, and phrases may have different meanings to each of us, that is only natural.
Bob,
I had to just start laughing when I read your reasons that “you won’t like it here”. Everything was so spot on.
I’ve a relatively easy post with my position here, close to Manila but not in Manila, so that helps with the adjustment. But the attitude I came with was what helped the most. I moved here with no expectations about the living. I had no idea what to expect, really didn’t have much time to prepare. I just moved with the attitude that “I want to try this”.
So far two years later it’s worked and I’m staying longer than I originally planned. It’s all what you make of it. Sure, there’s plenty of frustration, but as you said, the ways that I was used to aren’t always the right way, just a different way.
cheers!
-a
Hi Adam – If you have been able to take things in stride and are continuing on to extend your stay after 2 years, you are doing well, and making the adjustment. Congratulations on that!
Having been one who made the round trip I can honestly say I was happier and enjoyed living there more than here (USA). Reason for the return was we had a 13 yr old daughter who did not or could not ‘adjust’, mostly due to the school. Due to this my wife pulled the plug after only 6 months despite a prior agreement it would be a minimum 3 yr commitment ( no one is adjusted in a mere 6 months!). Much to my disagreement/disappointment the compass was pointed east once again. I can say this confidently, its much easier to make good friends their than here, living can be markedly cheaper and life tends to slow down a bit at least for myself it did. I enjoyed it. But as Bob points out …every coin has another side…getting simple things done and things which would take you 10 minutes to do back home can often take a whole day. It can and often drive you mad. You will learn to hate the phrase ” Sir wait awhile”. On one side you will get ‘preferred treatment’ on the other you will often pay more aka skin tax…so enjoy being special…you paid for it. So here I am back home for 9 months and all I do is wish I was back…perhaps in a few more years another window of opportunity may arise. My suggestion for anyone contemplating the move is to put everything you own in storage…don’t do what I did and sell it all…if after a year or two you decide its your home…then come back and sell it off. Ironically…the month we were to depart back here my daughter stated maybe she could live there after all…
Hi Brian – Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You are in a position to know, especially been forced into making the round trip. I appreciate your words very much.
yes bec you juss had vacation time. of couse its more fun than usa n cheaper. you have to live here. as my expeience, despite a lot of good things,it is really hard to live here. I am from canada, country of peace and no discrimination. you havent been discriminated yet,you havent felt so left out yet,you havent felt that u feel disrespected.
Bob:
I dunno… after writing on this site for a while, I started to sort of be able to tell based on the comments who was dreaming, who was serious and going to adapt well, who was serious and going to have problems, and those who really didn’t have a clue who were going to make a very expensive mistake.
Add in the pretty large number who seem to leave due to bad relationships / marriages gone wrong.
I think many of those who end up leaving move here because of something lacking in their lives back home, through a sense of adventure, and change for the sake of change… mostly, these seem to be the “paradise” people. The problem is that many who move here for change, whether economic, romance, job, or whatever still experience the same problems after moving as before moving. Moving NEVER cures a problem… In fact, it usually makes it worse over the long run. They move for change, but don’t realize, or accept, the fact that the problem in their lives may be something else.
A good example of this was a couple of months ago I was in an exchange on here with a guy who was moving here due to the bad economy in Detroit, wanting to work as a handyman… Never mind the wisdom or lack thereof, the point is that his note reeked of desperation and wanting change. Rather than looking inward and trying to see what the true problem is, or alternative solutions, he conjured up in his mind the solution of living with his girlfriend’s family (Who he never met in person) and supporting them by manual labor. Never mind the insanity of moving to the other side of the world with no money and very limited, if any, safety net. He was solely focused on the lower cost of living here and his problems in Detroit. You know, as well as I, that he will likely fail and end up back in the US in a worse position than now. Of course, I don’t wish him bad and I hope he finds what he is looking for, but his response to me (I was picking on him) and the desperation in his words alone tell me that the dream of the future totally overshadowed the reality of what he will find.
Hi John – You are sure right when it comes to moving never solving your problems. That is a point that Dave Starr drives home all the time when the discussion turns to a topic like this, and I agree with both you and Dave. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Hi John: Good response to the article. One thing I cannot be accused of is rushing over here to live as it was almost 25 years from coming here first to returning to stay.
Regards.
Jim.
Great post Bob. Honest to the core. At one time, back around 2008, I thought I could move to the Philippines, fit right in and enjoy life. A bit older and wiser now (are you ever too old to stop saying that?), I realise that I would be fine for some months, but would struggle after a while.
I live a busy lifestyle; wake up with ideas I want to put into practice right away. I remember the phone bill, log on, pay it. Want a new tool, pop down to the hardware and buy it and back home in fifteen minutes. Waiting for things is something I can be good at, SOME of the time. Wanting to buy a chocolate bar and eat it right away and being damned frustrated because it took three members of staff to sell it to me, who insisted on putting it in a bag, sticky taping that bag closed and stapling the receipt to it, that’s something else I’m also good at (the being frustrated part), and I could never ever ever ever get used to that insanity.
So I know now it would take some time, months if not years probably, to adjust myself, realign my expectations, and learn to avoid the things that would cause my frustration level to start heading to the red zone. I’m not even sure I could adjust on a permanent basis, and think perhaps a few months in and a few months out of the Phils would work just fine.
But, and this is the big but…I really miss the place when we leave, and I’m super excited when we’re headed there!
Hmm….
Thanks Jim, I am happy that you enjoyed the post and found it to be useful.
You are wise, my friend in that you are deeply considering the important aspects of life in the Philippines.
Good luck.
I came for a month visit with my wife, but that wasn’t enough to prevent serious Culture Shock! Don’t expect 2 or 3 relatives, expect 200 – 300 all wanting to meet you, see you and “feed” you “food” you wouldn’t feed your dog. I now send my own food ahead, water filter, and tankless water heater.
Pinoys are very hard working, but really do not accomplish much. Yet, I never met a nicer group of people. They are loving, happy, and accept their Life. They are also very strong believers in the Catholic Church, except those in Government who are just as corrupt as those in Washington D.C.
PS: Also bring your own silverware.
I could not live in Ph unless India was my only other choice. It is a great place to visit if you are well prepared. I love my wife, but Singapore, Macau, Japan, China,Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, and the Night Markets of Hong Kong are all more likable and livable for me, but also much, much more expensive. Also, still need to bring own silverware unless you have figured out the chop sticks.
What do you find wrong with the silverware here? I have purchased several sets of quality silverware here, never had a problem with any of it. Same brands available in the USA.
Maybe Jim will clarify, but I’m guessing he’s referring to the lack of silverware rather than the quality. Eating with the hands rather than silverware is the common method out in the province. Many families do not even own silverware. When silverware is used, in restaurants and middle/upper class homes, it is done Asian style, with a fork & spoon rather than knife & fork.
I’ll add that pinakbet and dinengdeng are definitely acquired tastes.
Take care,
Pete
Perhaps you are correct, Pete. I took it to mean that there was something wrong with the silverware that they have here.
OK, Mike. Interesting comment. Can’t say I agree with you, but it is interesting. There is good food here, based on what you said, it would seem that you did not find it, though.
The exception of the rule may be my case. I came here as a total stranger with only suit case as possessions. Nobody was waiting here for me. Palawan was my carefully selected Island
I moved here because of the coming international financial foes and because of the impending global “climate change”… not the same as what they talk about on TV.
That was back in 2008/09, the stock market was collapsing, the financial system was supposedly on the “brink”, the message was CRYSTAL CLEAR.
Today, I am the exception again because now I know that I’ll never go back.
Not so sure that not planning to in back makes you an exception. I will never go back either.
Hi Bob…interesting article . I have been travelling back and forth to phil for 4 yrs now and eventually settled here 8 months ago. I love Davao and my plan is to never live anywhere else. But who can predict the future and what lies in store for us, so all i will say is that if ever i have to leave Phil for any reason i will always be thankful for the happiness i found there.
Hey Bob good write-up. I have been living here 6 years & 5 months and have worked out most of my problems. Yes I fully agree the Philippines or any other third world country is not right for most people. The electric is more expensive than the States as well as the gasoline, the natural gas and the water. If you insist on buying American Style food that also will cost you more. I can go for a week or more never hearing an english word. I have created my own little world here in my compound. Yes my compound. I am not afraid of the rebels coming into my area but its the common thief that one must protect one’s self from. At the monemt, there is a thief stealing pigs and goats. The Brangy Captian has told us all to just kill the thief if you catch him. This shows you the mind set of the Filippino Population. I do have a group of Expats that visit my compound from time to time and we set for hours catching up on all the stories and telling lies. ha ha ha If any of you soon to relocate here people need advice feel free to contact me. And as always BOB have a nice day.
My wife’s family is always surprised how adaptable I am. My first visit included an extended stay on the farm with her family. My future brothers-in-law messed with me about food and funny words they coaxed me to say to the family, but I’m pretty savvy when it comes to practical jokes and I’ll try any food.
I must admit that first scoop of cold well water I dumped over my head in the “shower” was thrilling, but I came to look forward pumping the water by hand when the power was off and cooling down in the “shower.”
Our plan is to spend time in both Mindanao and in our stateside home in South East Alaska. We will have the added “bonus” of climatic re-adjustment every trip!
I think my wife will have a harder time adjusting to Mindanao life again after living in SoCal for 6 years!
My way of coping with the differences is to have no expectations that this will be like the states at all. Whenever I travel anywhere, I seek to live just like the locals. Whether it’s Vienna Austria, Wrangell Alaska or Surallah Mindanao I work hard to blend in with the other fish in the sea and enjoy what is around me. There is beauty and joy to be found everywhere if you know how to find it.
Hi Dale – It’s always good to be adaptable, and I congratulate you on that. However, I can attest that there is a big difference between living in a place and vacationing there. Your reaction may be different when you actually come here to live.
Good luck to you.
Another great article Sir Bob. Happy Easter to all of the followers. I am now celebrating 6 wonderful years here.
I cannot forget my first six months here in the Pines it was a nightmare. I was sure that the only thing I really liked about the country was the babes. The local food was and still is ( so so ) unles my wife cooks it. The climate was just too hot and humid. The neighbours drove me nuts with their burning, loud music and barking dogs and roosters and mozzies. Everything took forever to do. Hated the hospitals, the overcrowded school rooms, the pollution both land and air. The poor service at the malls was nothing like I was used to.
Yet over time I slowly excepted the way things are done because with so many hard headed older people here, not much will change. So I went with the flow.
When in the Philippines, I do as the Philippinos do.
One important note, having a good wife here is paramount. Note 2 have enough money to be truly free. We have been invited here not because of our pretty faces, we are here to provide.
Thanks, Boss. Nice to hear from you. Yes, I also remember those early days of living here. I am glad that I was able to get over the hump, make the adjustment and enjoy life. I believe you have done so too. 🙂
I was there for 2 weeks a few years ago. I loved it, BUT after the 2nd 3rd day I was homesick after seeing how people lived. We went to Paradise Island and the next day I loved it. At the end of the trip I had seen alot and was ready to come home due to getting bored. Now I know there was more to see even stuff my wife never saw like Hagimit Falls. Some singles guys go just for the girls. I got banned for one site because I said somethings about pinay woman. I’ve talked to too many guys wanting to go there to take advange of the woman there. I was going to introduce a fellow to a friend of my wife’s til he asked if he could meet 2nd see which was better in bed. I stopped talking to him after that. Someone else we know treats his wife like crap ( theres alot I could sayabout this ) so were more careful now. I’ve lived in the south but got sick of it. But I always miss the PI unlike any other place I’ve lived. The people and warmth make the PI so nice.
Hi Brian – Thanks for sharing your experiences. Yes, you are right, some guys (single and not!) only want to take advantage of the women here. It’s sad, but that’s how it is.
Thanks, Bud, nice to hear from you! Glad to hear that things are going well for you.
Paradise? More like, “pair of dice” – you get to roll them once, and you’re “stuck” with the results. The trick to the game is being able to accept your roll, adjust, and get on with life. 😉
Good one Paul.
I thing this is a very good article and has a lot of good comments. In particular I agree the returning native wives have a much harder time adapting. Also for long term, (at least for me) I think it is imperative to understand the local language unless you have a hermit gene. People struggle to talk with me in English, I struggle to understand them, my wife (who talked English for 40 years in the states) butts in talking Tagalog and I am no longer involved in the conversation.
Thanks Loren, I am glad that you found the article useful.
Hi Bob – Oh wow, was going to submit something sort of similar to this article.. titled ”wold you rather go back to your own country?” but it probably will not be as good as your post so… I’ll change… ha ha ha :). But anyway, I wonder why those who want to live here find it hard to live here.. I always say that Philippines is like a small small State. but maybe it’s because I live in Manila.. Except for roads bad train system and few other rules, here in the city, everything is so westernized 🙂
Hi Sugar. Truth is, pretty much nothing here is western style. Just a current example, holy week. Everything here has been closed for the last couple of days… nothing like that in the west. Problem is many people move here thinking it is just like in the west and they quickly find out that it is nothing like the west.
Your right with the culture and tradition and depends on the place they want to retire. i guess it’s just different here in Manila. Most restaurants and cafes are open, though malls and banks are closed Holy Thursday and Good Friday, it is the only days employees get to have a long vacation then it’s back to normal even on a Black Saturday. When I say westernized I just meant in terms of Filipinos can speak English,so many American fast food, convenience stores, just things like that. Happy Easter. ^_^
Happy Easter, Sugar.
Right, Mindanao Bob, Holy Week in The Philippines and I read and see a lot of it here on the internet. Here in New York for the most part it is Business As Usual with the exception of Easter Day itself. Still many businesses that are usually open on Sunday, will still be open at least part of the day.
It seems to me there are many more celebrations, holidays etc. there in The Philippines. In some ways it reminds me of how it was here when I was a kid and just about everything was closed on Sunday, not any more though.
Hi BobNY – Absolutely! And, Holy Week was just a quick example off the top of my head. The Philippines is not westernized. It’s totally different than the west. The availability of a McDonald’s hamburger has nothing to do with western culture.
I like your approach on this one. It should be mandatory reading for those that are making the move.
I used to use a similar approach when interviewing new hires for our restaurant, at least when there were plenty of applicants. I laid it out pretty heavy on the negatives of the job, wanting to make sure they knew what they were getting into. Potentially saving them and me a lot of headaches.
It was surprising how many did not come back for second interview, or left during the first. But the ones that were hired were prepared, and most felt good once they learned there was much good to go with the bad.
As has been mentioned, it’s all about expectations. If you can have no, or low expectations, then it is hard to be disappointed. Disappointment is the distance between reality and expectations.
Hi Randy. Thanks for that. Good analogy, you are right, similar approach.
Bob,
When I was there last October I lived like the locals did instead of staying in a hotel. When I move there I plan on keeping myself busy helping my fiancé with her business, volunteering in the community, traveling and visiting people to stave off boredom and adjust life there. I also want to give it a shot and try and learn the language. Take care and have a nice Easter
I hope it all works out for the best, Papa Duck. One bit of advice – be careful on that volunteer work, I know people who have been deported for doing volunteer work. If it is work that a Filipino can get paid to do, you cannot legally do that. Sounds crazy, but it is true.
Bob,
Appreciate the info. What i really meant i guess is to get involved with the local community and kind of do what you do with your Annual Christmas Drive. Take care.
Good article Bob. From all of the reading I have done over the past 7 years or more, I sometimes get the impression that some that move there just do not invest the time in learning as much as they possibly can, or, spend enough time there before hand to see and experience as many of the realities as possible.
” Cheaper To Live ” ? From what I have learned so far I think I would put it as, you have the ” opportunity ” to live with less overall cost but there is no guarantee of that. So many things we take for granted here in the USA may just not be available there or if you can have them they are going to cost you. For me, I would consider basic necessities as hot & cold water at a useable pressure ( 20 to 40 PSI ) all the time and preferably drinkable from the tap, along with a flushable toilet in the CR. From my own experience, those are luxury items in many places there. Nearly always available and stable electricity too. I know that in certain areas these things can be had ” at additional cost “. A 3000 Watt portable generator I bought here in the USA ( made in China ) I saw the identical model ( only difference was the labeling and the 220 Volt output ) in PH at a similar kind of store selling for about $125 more. Sony clock radio here at BigBox Store, $9.95. At a Sony Store in CDO ( the only place I saw the identical model although for PH Market 220 V input, priced at the equivalent of $30. PC, Laptops etc. more costly in PH possibly because of less fierce competition by BigBox Stores and online sellers as it is here in the USA. A budget microwave oven, made in China, on sale at a BigBox store here for $39.95, an almost identical model there in PH at a nationally known retailer selling for the equivalent of about $80. I am just pointing out things from my own personal shopping experiences that not ” everything ” is a bargain in PH.
Dining out could be considered a bargain if you look at menu prices and I have had a lot of good meals eating out in restaurants during my visits but portions may be less than you might get especailly like at an American Diner so you might be tempted to order two dinners so there goes the bargain initial price you thought you were going to pay LOL.
Patience ? It seems it did not take long for friends I have made there to recognize when I am approaching the boiling point and I am putting effort into holding back with some kind of perceived temper tantrum but I think I am getting better at it. Not loosing your temper and at least appearing to keep your cool I have found to be the best way when what we may consider to be an out of the ordinary ( to a Kano ) situation is most favorable.
In a way I am glad to read in some of the comments here from others that they have experienced similar things that I have on my visits, especially in taking half a day or more to do something that you at first would think would only take a few minutes or an hour. Sometimes I just thought it was my own luck or unluck.
It was never my intention on moving to or living in The Philippines. I initially went there to visit a place I came across by accident on the internet, Iligan City. For me, in spite of the many differences I have found in how people live there compared to here in the USA, I have found many nice things and lots of very nice and hospitable people. Some of these experiences I have written about here on LIP. I still do not expect to move there but……… If I ever get that big win in lotto, I’d be on the first flight there after I collected my winnings. That way I’d be fairly sure I could have what I consider basic ( USA Style ) necessities and more even though it is still No Guarantee.
Thanks again for this article Bob.
Hi Bob – Thanks, I’m glad you found the article to be enjoyable.
Your word – “opportunity” to live cheaper is right on the mark. Wish I had thought of that one, Bob! 😆
I am lucky that here in Davao we have more than most parts of the Philippines. The water here in Davao is good, and it is drinkable from the tap. Usually we have good water pressure, but not always. I can’t remember the last time we had a brownout of any length. I believe in the last year we have had about 3 brownouts that lasted for no longer than 5 minutes each. I can’t complain about that.
Thanks for your comment, Bob.
Over and over it is mentioned in this article…Philippines is very very poor, it does not have the infrastracture that expats are used to, it does not have the fast internet, does not have an excellent customer service, it does not have good water,expensive this and that….we can go on and on about the whole topic. But then, I was thinking , that modern convenience that we have in the west comes with a very high price also. We are living like slaves, we are living like having a time bomb attached on our waist waiting to explode. You can’t afford to get sick because your big house, your beautiful car, beautiful furniture are all borrowed! Everyday is a struggle! Really, unless if you are really rich, here your future is at stake! The way it is going in the Philippines, you still have an option to go very simple as much as you can and can be rich if you wish,but you just have to be contented and able to go with the flow….every convenience comes with a big price. All the foreigners living in the Philippines should be thankful that the country allows anybody to live in here even with all the limited resources. I hope that all who are wishing to relocate in a third all will have an open mind that the country where thay are going, will not change there ways because of your demands…..learn to live like them and you will be fine….good luck!
Hi Dine – I both agree and disagree with much of what you said in your comment. Some of the things you say about the Philippines are spot on, others are simply not correct. For example:
1. The Philippines is very, very poor. True and false. For the vast majority of people, poverty is a fact of life. But, some are very wealthy.
2. Infrastructure has improved drastically in the 13 years I have lived here. Still not up to where it needs to be, but the Philippines is well on the way toward addressing that problem.
3. You can get fast internet in some places now. In some parts of Manila, reliable 100Mbps connectivity is readily available if you are willing to pay for it! Here in Davao, getting 10Mbps is not difficult.
4. Some parts of the Philippines do have good drinking water. Here in Davao you can drink tap water with no health problems. In fact, the United Nations has rated Davao’s drinking water as among the top 10 in the world!
5. Customer service is a big problem, most of the time. You will, on occasion, run into truly world class customer service, though.
Overall, though, you have a lot of things right on the mark.
Good advice, dine.
Bob;
Every week I submit an article to you usually about the odd and strange things that have happened to me. The most frustrating things that would drive a person over the wall and heading to the airport with baggage in one hand and their ticket in the other.
I have tried with humor to point out these things that everyone will encounter at one time or another. But forewarned is forearmed and the gratifying part is when I’m talking to someone and they point out that it did happen to them. But now it’s a shared funny experience that we can all have a good laugh over. I’ve been here over 20 years and I promise that I won’t run out of things to write about for quite awhile. If you can’t find the humor in it, it’s time to leave.
You sure are right on that, Paul. I’ve only been here for 13 years, and I can attest that you are right that the “funny” stories never come to an end!
Hi Bob,
As usual another great post! As you know already I’m one of those guy’s who want to come and live there in the RP, I also have been reading up on anything and everything i can find to help me when the time comes. Here’s my game plan so far….
Make sure i can afford to live there first weather it be retirement,social security or some sort of income just in case my plans of income there doesn’t work out as i hope they will, Next is as you did make a commitment of staying no matter what for say 5 years like you and Feyma did. And last like you and some have said here already “Being positive and having a positive attitude is the first step toward having a happy life!” I think it will be harder for my wife to adjust from the poor living she was living to how we live now back to being not poor but being comfortable because i can do without big house,nice cars and so on. I think I’m ready for it time will tell first things first.
Sounds like you’ve got a good plan there, my friend! I am betting you will be living in the Philippines before you know it!
Bob, Reading your articles and those of others have definitely provided me with enough knowledge to know that the Philippine Islands are NOT perfect, and that I will be a guest of the country. I know I have no right to live the way I do now, nor do I expect grand service. If and when I say I am living in paradise, it is because of the weather. Warm, glorious weather. Wet, yes, but warm. I am also moving for the reason of getting to know the other side of my family – my wifes. And for an assortment of other reasons.
But, I think that you are right in that people can find their version of paradise in the Philippine Islands, as long as they realize that it is not a cruise ship where all your needs will be met at any hour and at any moment you desire. Adaptation to the country and it’s culture is key in happiness there.
I look forward to our move, and for me, the adventure of something new. I hope that I can accept the many differences of the country, and settle into MY version of happiness.
Thanks for the comment, Scott. It’s always good to go into a new situation, like moving to the Philippines, with your eyes open. That’s the good thing these days for people like you who are moving to the Philippines. Back in the day when we moved here, there were no online sites like this one with information about moving here. We moved here “in the blind” so to speak. These days, you guys get a lot of good information from the dozens of sites like this that are online!
You’ll do good with the move, I’m pretty sure of that.
Bob, thanks for your well- balanced descriptions of “life in the Philippines”. I also enjoy the variety of reading the input of person’s responding to your website. I have been traveling and living in the RP for the last 10 years. I often spend four to six months in both the provinces ( San Carlos, Negros and Cebu City, mostly) and return to invest time with my family and friends here in California in the mountains East of Los Angeles.
My daughter provided me with an apt observation of persons who have a compulsive restlessness I think I suffer from. ” I wish I was where I was when I was wishing I was there”.
I greatly enjoy the quality of most of the population here. Through daily hardships so common among the Filipino people, they have a natural penchant for a good nature, warmth and friendliness. I, as most tourists/visitors have experienced, have been frequently “hustled”( particularly in the cities) but so much more has been my experience of appreciating the outgoing natural friendliness of the people.
Hi Peter – Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Like you, I really enjoy the life here. Your daughter has a way with words! 😉
Hi Bob,
I love reading your posts and reports of how things are there. I have been researching all that I can find on the internet about how life is over there, the dreaded “cost of living” and quite a few other topics. Basically anything I can find, I read. Be it bad, good, or just neutral. I am awaiting a disability hearing here in the states and, if I am fortunate enough to win (which lawyer says I will), I plan on first off starting with a visit. While I am there, if I like it, I plan on extending my stay longer and longer. I have a good friend who will show me around their area, that being Tanjay, Dumaguete and places near/around that area. I like many, are pulled in to the thought of living there due to a lower cost of living. Especially if I am getting by on a disability check every month, those things don’t pay too high an amount at my age (37). This site is one I check regularly for updates to posts, new posts and what have you. I do plan on going there without the thought of “I can live like a king”, it is more along the lines of, “maybe I can get by there just a little bit better then I would here on what I would draw monthly”. I have an aunt that was from Cebu and two cousins who are half filipino/a. I am looking forward to learning a new language while there, as for my patience, it is very good. Anyone who has ever waited on a disability claim knows what I am talking about. I know life there won’t be perfect, but I look at as, life there could be an adventure. And that has me excited about the whole idea of the possible move there. Thank you again for such wonderful in depth and helpful information that you pass along to others. Have a great day
Hi Stephen – Thanks for your kind words. I am happy to know that you find the site useful and informative. Good luck, I hope that everything works out for you!
MindanaoBob, Although I have spent time in third world countries, I have yet to decide truly where I will hang my hat, in the near future (one year). I have been to Thailand, Panama, Philippines and a few others due to a military career/vacations, and plan on retiring in Asia, with Philippines being high on my list. What is the best way to ship/move goods overseas? I have very little need to send household goods, outside of clothes, but am considering shipping my Harley Davidson Heritage Softail Classic (first to Australia, as I want to ride it around Australia for a while and then have it shipped to the Philippines) and possibly construction tools later down the road, once I get settled, if needed. I don’t plan on bringing much upfront as I plan on renting furnished Condo’s/Apts until I decide where I want to live more permanently, thereby allowing me to travel more freely from major area to major area. Or could I just buy all new as needed? Since I am single, what are the visa requirements there, as I have seen and read many articles in this area and they are constantly changing. $20,000 / $50,000 Dollars in bank, renew visa every 3 months, 6 month, etc.. Does it change with the area? Can I own property down the road as a single person, not married to a local? Can I possess or carry a firearm IOT protect myself? I apologize if my questions are off the beaten path, as many could be found with more research on my end, so they may seem premature/infantile to you and others on this site.
Hi Bruce – Thanks for stopping by my site and leaving your questions. Let me address the questions you asked.
1. If you bring your Harley in, be prepared to pay 100% import tax on it, as that is the law here. Also, if it is over 5 years old you will not be allowed to bring it in at all.
2. If you want to bring in tools, I would recommend shipping them in via Balikbayan Boxes. That would be the least expensive, and most hassle free way of shipping them in.
3. You could ship in your stuff, or buy new, it’s just up to you. Depending on what kind of items you want and need, it may be cheaper to just buy new instead of paying to ship the stuff.
4. If you are single, and plan to remain that way, you have two basic visa options – Do a tourist visa, renew every 2 months and leave the country every 16 months, returning to start a new 16 month ride. Or, get an SRRV Retirement visa, which would require an investment of $10,000 up to $50,000 depending on your age and other factors.
5. None of these things have changed in more than a decade. You are mixing up different visas. Tourist visas require renewal/extension every 60 days or so. Retirement visas require different amounts of deposit, depending on a number of factors as I already mentioned. Again, these things have not changed in many, many years.
6. No, you cannot own property, whether you marry a local citizen or not. Foreigners are constitutionally prohibited from owning land in the Philippines.
7. No, you cannot own a firearm or carry one here, since you are not a citizen.
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I spent 2 years in Davao a couple of years back, but knew I would eventually leave as I was on a limited contract with an international aid agency. While I liked the city – certainly compared with Manila, I must admit to preferring Cebu. I did wonder about staying on, but after 2 years was happy to go home to Spain, where I have based myself. I also spent 2 years in neighbouring Indonesia, and much to my surprise, found that I much preferred it there, and would be more interested to live there.
I definitely like Pinoy people, and found them fairly easy to get on with. Due to my work, I was exposed fairly heavily to upper levels of the bureaucracy and establishment. This I found, at times, difficult. The innate conservatism of the ruling classes was, I found, quite stultifying at times, not to mention an, at times, nearly impenetrable bureaucracy & the corruption. But the things that got to me more than anything was the lack of access to good music – live and recorded – in bars, etc.. I must admit, karaoke is not really to my taste, especially of the 1950/60’s ballads seemingly heavily favoured. And the food… Much though E. Asia is famous for its regional food – Thai, Indonesian, Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, etc., – Pinoy food was definitely not to my taste – though I love kinelaw and was quite a fan of lechon. Also, a lack of access to decent beer was not good – I’m British, and while I don’t mind ice-cold lager – although preferably not San Miguel, I do like to have a choice of beer, including good bitter – “warm beer” to Americans.
The other problem a lot of people face is language. While the national language is Tagalog, if you move around, there is actually a range of languages. Even in Mindanao there is Visayan, Cebuano and in the SW of the island, Chavacano. Admittedly, a lot of people speak English, but in the rural areas or poorer towns/parts of cities, this is not so common.
All that said, I would quite happily come back out for another longish spell. The countryside can be beautiful, and in some areas, the beaches and diving can be quite spectacular, and I would not put people off trying. The trick is to get to know locals and to have a social life which is very much integrated with them. In all honesty, the resident expats I met who tended to be the most unhappy were the ones who’d moved there specifically to get themselves a trophy wife. They ended up unhappy because the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy, and for a lot of the woman they married, the improvement in status in their lives they envisaged wasn’t what they expected either. But I also met many expats married to locals where they were in good, solid relationships. It is a lovely place. The people are like people everywhere, with good and bad, but there is an innate friendliness in most of the locals. As an expat, most people treat you with courtesy and curiosity. And there is also a surprisingly strong sense of national identity and pride. As you say – it is not Paradise. But although it is not for me, it is not bad compared with a lot of places.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Gavin.
Hi, I enjoyed your article. I’d love any info you can provide. My wife lives in Iloilo we’ve been together for 6 years. we are expecting a baby. So we’re so happy. Our plan is to live there. I’m getting capital together and going to buy and build a house for our family. Her whole family also lives there. they Have a nice sized rice fan and lots of land. Also looking into buying a truck and motorbikes. I’m not rich but make a nice living here. And thought I could buy many things and setup what we need. The whole town knows the family and myself. We had a huge wedding in her town. The town mayors, vice mayors, town councilors, were’re our sponsors. They all know we are making the permanent move there. We want to try a market on street, it’s outside of Iloilo, bingowan, and calinog. Rice farm, buy and sell rice, lease farms as I have the capital, grow a big garden. fruit And vegetables. Chicken and eggs and ice, duck, goats. breed and sell caribou goats an chicken. We already have some. Think I could also use truck for hauling and rent myself out. I’m known throughout the towns and all the council members. I’m treated nice but I get the tourist price for now. I’m ready Ana knowing to live the simple life. Have a few luxuries to help with everyday life. a generator i know about Brown outs. Lol. Fridge an freezer. We can own land Cuz my wife is a born citizen and already owns the farm with her sister. Could use info on how I live over there. What process, what do I need to do. Our baby is due April 2. My name is Russell, California, I want out of here as soon as possible. Tired of working 60 hours a week I want to be with my family that’s more important than anything. I know it’s not Paradise, but being with my family is!if u can send any reply to my emailthat would be great
Hello Russell,
I think that you are making a huge mistake when you mention about wanting to buy a house, or build one. Hold off on this. Come and live here for at least a few years before taking that step. It is the number one mistake that I see people make. They buy a house, then a couple years down the road they find out that they really want to live in a different area, or they realize that they cannot adjust to living in the Philippines and want to go back to the States. The problem is that they cannot sell their house. Big trouble. They end up taking a big loss on the house just to move. It happens all the time, believe me.
Some of the stuff that you are talking about – especially the motorcycles – are the same as what I did when I came here 13 years ago. It was a mistake, and I have learned a lot since then.
Hi Bob, thanks for your reply and would love to pick your brain. Lol . About the house we’re adding on to the current house and not having to buy land. Having immigration issues getting her a visa. And so deciding to go there. I’ve been a few times months at a time an I live as they do. I don’t do the hotel or other things. I eat sleep walk or ride motorcycle which I like to get around. Why is buying motorcycle a mistake? Do u have anything to help me regarding visa type. What I need to do to either get residency or Permit to live. Thanks
Also I do have a baby on the way and want to be there soon. .
I understand, Russell, and I want to make it clear that I am not advising you not to come. I think coming here and living here is great. I am just saying to not make any rash decision that will involve a big outlay of money for at least a couple years or more, because those types of decisions will likely be regrets in years down the road.
I have a book that will help guide you on getting the proper visa that you need to live here. It is the Philippine Immigration Guide. The book is just $9.99 and can be downloaded immediately after payment is made.
Good luck on your journey, and please let me know if you have questions that are not answered in the book, I would be happy to help.
Hi Bob
Really enjoyed reading all the comments on here, thank-you for your valuable insights and advice. I married my wife two years ago now and have visited the Philippines on four occasions, we are planning to live in Cavite in the near future, we are both working and living in Saudi at the moment, believe me when I say, the Philippines IS paradise in comparison!!
In your opinion, what would you say would be sufficient funds ( monthly ) to live reasonably well? I know a lot of different variables come into the equation, just curious.
Thanks, and keep up the good work mate.
Hi Bill – If you budget $2,000 per month for you and your wife, you should be able to do well. As time passes, inflation will eat at that and you will likely need more, though, so keep that in mind. Also, if you have kids, or will support nieces and nephews or other extended family, that is something to consider too. Of course you can make it on less, but at $2k you should be comfortable.
I stumbled upon this site by googling for a garden shed in the Philippines. LMAO. The title got my attention so I ended up reading everything including all the comments. I am a pureblood filipina who was born here but grew up in northern VA from 1st grade – college. I returned to the Philippines to meet my biological dad, ended up finishing college here and pretty much made this my home already.
Despite being a filipina, I went through the same 5 year adjustment period as well. I missed the liberal ways of the US, the food, the cleanliness and even the friendliness of the people. I agree with some of the comments saying filipinos are very friendly but I honestly think they are simply not as chatty, as filipinos have a tendency to be quite shy.
Being 18 y.o. in 1998 was not easy for an americanized filipina. Being a “balikbayan” (a filipino who lives abroad and came back to the Philippines), I received a lot of prejudice that probably lengthened my adjustment period. They assumed that I was too good to speak my own language when in fact, I really didn’t know how to speak tagalog at all. Being friendly with a guy was misconstrued for being flirty. Wearing a tank top and shorts because I wasn’t used to the humidity, meant that I was “easy”. It was a huge, huge adjustment that I dreaded and I began counting the days until I would return to the US. But just as you, I somehow adjusted, decided to stay and I’ve been loving it. But as the years go by, I see the Philippines becoming more westernized and accepting of the change the new, more liberal generation is bringing in. Being in the Makati area where more foreigners are flowing in, it’s becoming somewhat a little US city and I feel less and less homesick. Now, if there’d only be a Denny’s I would be contented. 😉
Glad to have chanced upon your site. Cheers! 🙂
Hi Ina – Thanks for stopping by my site, I’m glad that you enjoyed it.
Living in the Philippines has changed dramatically over the years that I have lived here. Things are improving all the time. Sometimes that “improvement” leads to bad things too, though, like traffic, loss of values and such. But, overall, it is better in my view.
Denny’s? Who needs that! 😉
Personally I think you have to get rid of the selective amnesia we all have about what we loved and hated about living where you are or where you were living.
Kinda like the old girlfriend you can’t seem to remember why you couldn’t make it work. We want to remember the good things and forget the bad. Several times when I extended my visits over the years, planning to stay longer then I actually did. Sooner or later I was ready to come home to the USA. But a month later I missed being in the Philippines. And wanted to go back. So yes you have to give yourself at least 5 years to get adjusted.
I think you have to focus on the things you love about your moving and remind yourself why you made the move.
My father is a retired minister, and when I was younger we would have families join the church stay a few months and then move to another church and stay there awhile then again move on. When I asked my dad why don’t these families just stay at one church. He told me “well they are looking for a perfect church, problem is there is no such church. And if they did find a prefect church it wouldn’t be perfect anymore if they joined”
I think your outlook is correct, James. Also, I think that no place is perfect and we have to simply make the best out of the place where we live. If it doesn’t work out, move on, but do the best you can there.
Hi Bob! I have a serious love/hate relationship with your site. I find hours go by when I read all these wonder articles and helpful posts by your followers, and I don’t get as much studying in lol. It’s not your fault but mine.
So in a nutshell, I’ve been to Davao, Digos and a few barangays south of it visiting my girlfriends family and some friends. Luckily for me I had an X- fiance’ who was chinese – Indonesian. Now *that* was culture shock being in Medan, Indonesia as it was my first time in Asia. We also went to malaysia and thailand which were far more hospitable and “western” than Indo. Fast forward to my experience in the Mindanao, no shock; just appreciation.
It wasn’t a big departure for me seeing how they live in the Phils. I’ve been to Mexico plenty of times (in the country as well) and even in the rural areas of the Phils its better than Mexico! That being said, your site and my experience(s) is a huge help, sir. I know there’s a lot to acclimate to when I make my move Dec/early next year, but I’m armed with so many reasons to live in Davao (namely marriage) and with the expectation nothing will be perfect. I don’t have blinders on, and with all you and your site’s followers it keeps my eyes open! So thank you and your contributors again for all your hard work Bob!
Hi Philip – Thanks for a great email/comment to start off my day! I appreciate that. I think you will do fine when you move to the Philippines, because you re coming here wiht the right attitude. Keep thinking the way that you are and you will do fine!
Take care.
Thanks Bob! And by the way, your son (among many contributors) posts some great articles as well (I’m a gamer too). Both of your articles re: Internet is right up my alley as my field is coding/programming; speed and reliability is vital to income when I’m there. I’ll be asking a question here and there in the near future, and I’ll be happy to impart what little I know from now till I arrive. Have a blessed day sir! God bless.
Thanks Philip! Glad you are enjoying the site!
hi
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I am a local of Mindanao (I’m from Lagonglong Misamis Oriental) but now lives in Dumaguete City. There are so many expats living in the Philippines and yes it is not a perfect place to live (typhoon, drought, robbers, etc including politicians) but somehow will give you a little comfort. The food and accommodation is cheaper (in some areas not). People are friendly too but don’t get too comfortable with them.
Typically, most can comfortably live with P50,000 ($1000) monthly spend but that will of course depend on your lifestyle. 🙂
If anyone needs any help or local tips living in the Dumaguete City, You may check me out or just ask and I’ll be happy to help anyone.
Liz
I deal with a lot of people, foreigners, who wan tto move, and do move to the Philippines. I can say that for 98% of them, P50k is not enough budget. P75k to P100k is more in line. Of course, as you said, it depends on the lifestyle.
In course of living in Cagayan de Oro, the Philippines for 7 years (2007-2014) my income to pair with cost of living was average P38,00. The highest was P41,000 and lowest was P36,000.
Even though I was single for first year, with much possible of saving, you would be liable to be hound for having plenty of your hard-earned greenbuck in your pocket. There isn’t a place to lock your money. ATM? The fees, nah. Bank refused to open an account on the ground of visa status. Like Dr. Seuss would say : Oh the places you would go, and you will be lament at poolside and worry about going by day by day with mounting cost of hotel bill!
Right after I was married, my finger-lickin’ (thanks to Colonel Sander of KFC), the problem may ceased for a while. Because I tied knot with Filipino-Chinese wife, who is good with money and great with negoigate or chart the turbulent water, we get by just fine by going native. Yes, by marry you marry to her family and one time I fed 12 mouths and slept in pamilya house with 12 souls.
Always triple, not double, what you would budget. Like in rental application, right before you secure an apartment unit you like to get, it will ask how much you do make annually. The apartment company (or the landlord/lady) figure out by use the math. The pie chart is one of most popular way to determine if you can afford to go by every month. First piece of pie is the rent and the second piece is the expenses and third is your take-away or leftover.
Hence, Bob and many other expats are correct to point out 50k is not enough. If I triple mine next time I go back to the Philippines, it would be more as much to live comfortably.
My mom is from the Philippines and we went over the past summer. After our visit, I looked up the Philippines on Google. The internet hides what it is really like. It is really hard, hot, and so full of poverty. No matter how hard you explain it to someone they will never know what poverty really is. In the U.S. we take everything for granted. After reading this, you may say “I can imagine”. But, no you can’t. Go and you will see and you won’t be able to stop looking.
Although everything you say is true, but after living here for a while you do adjust to the bad things. 🙂
Thank you for visiting my site.