Living in the Philippines - Mature Discussions
Hello everyone, you may have all noticed, that my previous post has since been removed, I took this decision after speaking to Bob, I am in agreement with Bob that whilst this post may have been off topic, of which I take full responsibility for posting, I felt that its a reality issue that could hit any of us, as it was, it is not in line with this blog.
Sadly, I had not thought about the type of replies that may come, I was kind of hoping that we would have all rallied around in the gentlemans defence to help him out after his kind request to me for information, again sadly, there were a number of unwarranted vulgarities in certain comments, with this in mind, I have since deleted this post.
My participation in this blog, is on the basis that the posts I make are researched and well thought out before being published, in that respect I will only participate on the basis that I receive sensible and clean replies, I am here to debate issues that are real and informative, and of some profound value, I have already writtent to Bob under seperate cover to offer my apologies to him, to maintain standards, I would hope everyone reads this and takes note.
Pete,
You’re going to put some of us in trouble here!
Ok, Im just teasing! You did the right thing though.
Cherry Ann, watch out for the words you used too.
As BOb said, what you wrote may haunt you for the rest of your life. Otherwise, you have to beg Bob to delete it. 
That’s a good thing what Bob said before re: this blog being a public blog. If you can’t share it to the public, don’t write it here.
It is good to see this Blog is run by mature sensible people. Some of the postings were beginning to become less than intelligent and I was ready to leave and not bother visiting again. So its good to see you taking the “bull by the horns”, so to speak.
Hi Richard - Yes, I agree. The thing that sets this site apart from so many of the other Philippine related sites on the net is that we try to maintain a mature outlook, very little flaming, and good management of the discussion threads. I get lots of e-mail from people telling me this, so it is something that I am aware of.
I would like to ask Pete to leave this post in place. He mentioned that he will be removing it, but I do not want it removed. I want it to be left here as a reminder to new visitors about what kind of standards we expect in the discussion here. I think that this has been a valuable lesson for all of us.
Pete and Bob,
I missed some of the posts and therefore am not fully aware of the controversial ones. Am too busy making a living today. HaHaHa. Which is good, keeps me out of trouble.
Pete, I must say the posts I read this morning did have some good constructive feedback to help your friend sort out the issues. Admittedly some of them were probably jolting to him because they were telling him the opposite of what he probably expected to hear — which was, “get out of the relationship now” as opposed to “it seems you found your dream girl.”
I, for one, could not, in good conscience, endorse it. Even though a Filipina was involved, I had to look beyond a *default loyalty* to my fellow Filipina. I had to look at it from a higher level — how a human being should treat another, regardless of race, gender or other factors considered.
On that note, I personally feel there was no malice in my response to you. Most of the time, I try to be very sensible with my replies. Yes, occasionally, I chime into the banter and that just mimics my lifestyle also. I can be very serious but I can sometimes turn to show the other side of my persona. (I don’t want to be a total bore, you know. My colleagues would sometimes advise, “Hey, lighten up, you’re always too serious… Have fun, life is supposed to be fun…” So I try to be lighthearted sometimes.)
Okay, so I”m not fully aware of the controversy but just thought I’d *explain* my style in case my post was one of those that contributed to this outcome. Though I hope not because I don’t remember saying anything vulgar. I might have been brutally frank but not vulgar
Hi angie - Don’t worry, nothing you said was vulgar. Let’s just say that it got out of hand, and things were said that really didn’t belong here.
Sounds reassuring. Thank you, Bob. Let me get back to my own project here. I just took a few minutes break to ponder some of my own issues. Now, I need some latte to perk me up. I call this my “Starbucks moment.”
Bob,
When I said to Pete that he did the right thing. I meant he did the right thing of removing the post/s. I just want to make sure that I stated that clearly.
And ditto to Richard re: you stepping up. That just shows your level of professionalism. Kudos to you!
Pete and Bob:
I’m lost— did i miss something ? If ever I wrote something offensive in the previous blog, my sincerest apology.
I am confused by all of this. I responded to the post and I thought my comments were sensible and mature. I know I was not demeaning or vulgar to anyone. I also think the topic is appropriate. So many are seeking the truth in situations that are specific to the Philippines. This issue is a reality that effects every man or woman that is seeking to meet a partner that they can share their life with. Lets have candor in our words and honesty and sincerity in our intention and then let hte chips fall where they fall. One of the things I do not like about another blog is that it is censured to the extreme. I am not for bashing others and I respect that about all of you that write and comment here. I also have the utmost repect for Bob and what he is building through this site. Having said that and meaning it, please let us have a thicker skin and allow an exchage of thoughts here. Honesty may at times be uncomfortable but its always the correct way. Now I did not see the commeents of others but if they were vulgar then this is not the place for them. Ron
Pete & Bob,
I have to admit that I found that post very disturbing and I think I mentioned it on my comment. On the other hand, I understand that these unsavory things do happen. Are these topics for discussion on this blog? That is for Bob to decide because he owns this site. Pete wanted our opinion and we did our best to give him that. I think it would be best to keep the deleted post without the vulgar, irrelevant comments. We are all adults and I think we can handle the beauty and ugliness of Philippine society. For us Filipinas on this site, this is our only chance to voice our opinions on the seeming loss of traditional Filipino values. It is a sad reality. We cannot run away from it. Sweeping it under the rug will not make it go away. Confronting it head-on, openly discussing this issue might give us ideas on how we, as individuals, as Filipinas, can make a difference.
I’m a little lost too, but I’m known to have a really bad memory of things. Hope I didn’t offend anyone.
I have to say that I’m not big on censoring things. I like how the truth comes out of things (or a person’s interpretation of truth, which can be educational as well).
I also think that mistakes or heated comments have allowed this site to evolve and learn from it and any heavy editing will disrupt the flow. This blog has a healthy “cast of characters” that tend to correct each other when things get out of hand.
With that said. i still have no clue what post or article is being discussed here. I’m just a young lad and this memory gap does not bode well for me
To finalize matters here, no one here who has recently responded is responsible for the vulgarities that caused the former post to be deleted, I am not into naming and shaming, that will be counter productive, let us just say that something was written on the blog that should not have been.
I was rather flabergasted, that someone would do that, although Bob asked me not to delete my post, i felt duty bound to wipe the situation out of sight, in my view, that was the best thing to do, asyncrhonous bulletin boards always seem to suffer one or two bad apples, thats why moderation is required, I hope all the main readers are sensible and mature enough to be alert to the style and content of what they write.
I think that just about covers it.
wow a controversy happened and it wasn’t about something I said? I’m flabbergasted!
Ok all joking aside I must have missed something, I’ve never had a problem with anything Pete wrote, he does bring up some interesting subjects though.
Louis (and all)
i missed it too, makes me kind of curious but if things got out of hand, well Pete and Bob have sorted things out……….happy for you to decide but……..some things about the Phils do involve negative aspects and i think we can all agree negative aspects need to be explored, it can’t all be sugar coated, i think we are all adults here
Louis, glad you are not involved, all the very best
HI Everybody - OK, I see a number of people talking about the comments and post should have been left here, we’re all adults and such. Let’s put it like this….. we are talking about comments that involved calling Filipinas names which include the “F” word. Would you like your wife or sister to be called that? We’re all adults after all. Well, on my site, this stuff has no place. For those who wish to carry on that kind of conversation, there are sites that allow that, but I don’t want it here. It’s that simple.
Hi Bob- I agree with your judgement and you have ultimate say on this site. Can I just add, although the use of certain words is not permissable in this case it was a younger member who used the terminology and it was out before they realised it.I don’t think in this case it will happen again.
well if it was a younger member I got lots of soap bars here. God knows I got my mouth washed out with soap by my mother if I said something bad.
Hi Bob,
I don’t mean to prolong this. But wouldn’t it be easier to delete any offensive comments? I just feel it would be unfortunate for any helpful article to be deleted because it was tainted by a wayward poster (as civil a term as I could put it).
Kudos on keeping the site clean. I definitely missed that one and I’m glad I did. You guys deserve praise in acting on it responsibly and swiftly.
Hi macky - The whole thing was beyond my control. As Pete already pointed out, I asked him not to remove the post. Next time looked it was already gone. I don’t know what else I could have done.
Hi Bob and Pete
I like this site because its nice and clean and free from bad language etc. However saying that I think as a discussion platform the good and the not so good should be allowed to run their course (obviously it’s at the discression of the owner). I would like to put my pennies worth in saying I agree with Macky, that if an offensive comment is made, then I also think that comment could be removed rather than wipe the whole posting, I’m sure the perpetrator would learn soon enough what’s acceptable and not.
Hi Jack - I am kind of at a loss, because I don’t know what I could have done. People keep saying that I should have left the item up here. What I did was send an e-mail to Pete and tell him to please leave the post on the site. He told me he wanted to delete it, and I said to please leave it intact. Next I looked, it had been deleted. People keep saying that I should have not deleted it, but I didn’t. I kind of feel that I don’t know what to do…….
Don’t worry about it Bob, it’s not the end of the world. Like I said it was just my penny’s worth.
For those who missed the post, lesson learned is to follow LiP Blog 24×7!
I know you guys are just DYING to find out what this was all about! Well, better luck next time… 
Seriously, I’m sorry that Pete deleted the post because we didn’t give the others a chance to voice their opinions. I think we should all agree that vulgar and inappropriate comments will be deleted but posts, no matter how controversial, will stay. Living in the Philippines means we have to face the good, the bad and the ugly. Don’t you agree?
Hello Everyone-Thats that item on the agenda finished lets move on to the next story please.
Hi Bob,
Got it. Thanks for the reply.
Hello Pete & Bob - ops! i miss that too! But its ok.
I am happy am following a decent, friendly environment blogsite. What else can i say - Thanks!
Just to bring this to a conclusion, please everyone dont vent your rage at Bob, it was my decision to delete the post, I also had to think about Bobs standing in the Mindanao community, and also the city of Davao, there may have been other issues which could have caused him some embarassment through no fault of his own.
On that basis I decided the best thing to do was to trash the post, if anyone wants to follow the post, there are as Bob says, plenty of other blogs dedicated to that sort of post, for those that missed the post, sorry about that, you came on at the wrong time, having said that, you didnt miss much, for those that keep on saying you are sorry the post was deleted, dont be sorry, it turned into somethig I am not proud of, as far as that is concerned, I am not sorry it was deleted, it was not about Philippines living, and posting it was a slight lapse in my good judgement, a moment of madness shall we say, government ministers often resign over such matters, thankfully Bob has not asked me to resign.
I take that as a sign he still trusts my judgdement and wishes me to continue, as I dont have too many friends, I cannot afford to loose his freindship, and I have still to receive a call from the Prime Minister, its obvious he feels that I can best serve my country in doing what I am doing now, designing bathrooms for elderly people, and writing interesting posts about living in the Philippines in my spare time, but I always live in hope that I may be called to Downing Street.
Please accept that I did what I had to do, I sincerely do hope this is the last on this one.
Hi Pete, and everyone,
I missed out on the post, but, as said before….its Bobs site, and bad language is not allowed here.
Ian
I missed that too.:shock: Well, whatever it is, certainly it would not affect me from visiting this site ‘coz this is the only site that really makes sense to me. I believe that anyone who writes foul word here is simply the mirror of that particular individual. Let me just share this saying in Bisaya: Usa ka manglimpyo sa buling sa nawong sa imong isig-katawo..tan-awa ’sa ang imong nawong kung wala ba’y buling” (Before you clean somebody else’s face…look at yourself first).
Just my 1 cent….peace:grin:
Pete - A hat tip to ya’ and to Bob. I read the original post. I was transfixed by it. It was real - and you were able to convey a troubling situation involving a whole host of characters. Bob’s site may or may not be the best venue for it - your decision. I saw none of the comments, however. But I do see two guys struggling to do the right thing here. Whether it was or not is almost meaningless - it’s the struggle that counts. I look forward to you reading more from both of you.
Hi Nick Nichols - Thanks for your kind words. I do appreciate your thoughts!
Hi Nick, thank you for your kind words, naturally I am mindful of any slight on Bobs Character, as indeed I am anxious not to bring slight on my own characater, as the matter has since been settled, your patronage is very much appreciated, we look forward to your continued readership in the future, stick around Nick, there is plenty more hotly debated issues to come in the next few weeks, especailly when the new web magazine is launched.