Don’t worry… Be happy!
DON’T WORRY……..BE HAPPY
Hi all, I just wanted to write this little piece because something happened the other day that got me thinking.
I was getting a taxi to my destination. Now I don’t regularly use taxis these days, I try to use jeepneys, but my destination was far so it was a necessity this day.
So, after I flagged down the taxi on the street, having received the usual “hey Joe’s” and waves and whistles etc from the friendly locals, I sat back and relaxed as the driver pulled away.
I had never met this driver before but he started chatting to me. He asked me where I was from, my name, things like that. It is naturally in my personality to respond and communicate so I answered him, going into some detail and descriptions of my home town, explaining it is north of London. He loved my accent, “very British don’t you know” and we chatted and talked the entire journey which was approximately 20 – 25 minutes.
The thing that got me thinking was one comment he made which I thought was very sad indeed. He said to me, “You are the first foreigner I have had in my taxi who behave this way”. I was not sure what he meant, so I asked him to explain.
He proceeded to tell me that when he picks up a fare he always tries to hold a conversation with the person he has just collected. He explained that many Filipinos are quiet and do not talk when sitting in a taxi, but the thing that made me feel bad was when he told me every foreigner he has picked up so far in his taxi has been “strict”. He further explained that meant they have barked out the destination to him and sat back in silence for the entire journey, even when he has attempted to strike up a conversation he has received a one word answer and then eye contact is broken and that is that!
My driver told me it makes the journeys often very boring and even uncomfortable sometimes.
He was so happy to be talking with me, his eyes were alive, he had a big big grin on his face all through the journey and he was great company. I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with him about many different things and the hot journey I was taking seemed to fly by. He said, “I have made a special friend, thank you to talk to me and be nice to me”. My God, I felt awful, because surely, as foreigners in another country we should be communicative and polite and how hard is it to be just a little bit friendly?
Of course we all have bad days and we feel tired and fed up and not very happy. But that is a universal condition, not just a suffering of the well off white man. How is the driver expected to feel driving in searing heat day after day and then someone gets in the taxi who has a face like they have chewed a wasp.
It takes nothing to smile and communicate just a little bit with somebody. You don’t have to dissect War and Peace or make intelligent comments about every verse and chapter of the Bible, but hey, you can give a little smile and make someone’s day cant you?
I feel embarrassed that foreigners are like that here, particularly in the “land of smiles”.
I know this is only one taxi driver and many people possibly have different experiences, but I myself have seen white people walking around like there is a bad smell under their nose and I just have to laugh at them.
A little conversation, eye contact, smile, a little laugh, and hey, it makes all the difference.
I came to this country to get away from the miserable society that doesn’t communicate, lets not spread it here as well.
So come on, don’t worry……be happy………………..
gee I wish I had more drivers like that. Most drivers are strict and don’t talk to me. Of course I am usually with my wife so that may be an issue. Usually the driver talks to my wife in bisaya and usually I get the double take when I am the one to answer him back in bisaya!
I had one driver I will never forget, Kuya Felix. He drove for Mabuhay and I met him the 2nd day in davao. He basically became my personal driver for the 2 weeks I was in Davao and we struck a good friendship. Unfortunately I lost contact with him when I came back, but I will never forget you lang.
Well some drivers can be too friendly. In 2001 I went to Fl, to attend Shih Tzu National Specialty, since I did not fancy taking bus to hotel and be with all the dog people carrying 100lbs of stuff plus their dogs. (I was just watching show and not joining)
I took booked a towncar service, florida towncar whatever - don’t remember so long ago. It was pretty cheap $80 airport to Rennaisance whatever hotel where show was being held.
I was sooo tired because I had travelled OVER 24 hours.
DRiver strike sup a conversation that was fine, UNTIL he made me really uncomfortable (he was an older white man) because he started saying he had saved this asian lady who wa sdirt poor and put her in cheap motel/hotel (maybe howard johnson or whatever who cares) and he bought her clothes and all that.
And asked me if I knew any Asians and if maybe we could start a business selling addresses of Asian ladies in the USA!
OH MY GOD I could not wait to get out of the car!!!!
And he was the one who started all that - he seemed normal enough till he found out where I was from.
I did give hima $20tip. If I had $1 maybe I would have given him $1 as an insult.
If I did not give anything eh might have thought I forgot.
If I gave $1 he knew it was an insult.
I wish I had a bill smaller than$20
So……. UGHHHH!
Hi John,
Are these the “pompous asses” that Louis mentioned on another post? I have yet to meet one. I know I’ll have something to say to him/her for sure!
Hi Rey - I really got a laugh from reading your comment!
I enjoyed Rey’s story, post #1. That was hilarious. Dubai at 50 degrees C? I would not survive. I’m spoiled by the weather here in my locale, not too hot and not too cold. Well, mostly it’s that way — with a few exceptionally very hot or very cold days in the year. We’re hitting a hot streak nowadays, probably the remnants of summer…
As to riding in a cab, the very few times I ride in one (let’s say, to/from the airport since I don’t want my car to be in long-term airport parking), I make it a point to initiate a conversation with the driver. If he is not that receptive, I drop it. At least I try to be friendly, as I often do with most people I meet.
It doesn’t cost me anything, but the effort, to smile first, talk first, extend my handshake first, etc. Matter of fact, I am most amiable when riding a cab. Why? Because the driver is in control of the vehicle. For the duration of the ride, my *life* is in his hands. In this case I’m the “foreigner” here.
So I don’t want to be the pompous a** in this scenario. Hey, just borrowing from the description above. LOL.
Hello John - you made his(driver) day!! I could imagine how happy he was..Absolutely agree with ms. angie - it does not cost you anything to smile & be friendly..i always like to do that…Even here, i tried to put a smile on my face whenever i meet fellow - filipino, but sad to say most of the time, they doesnt care - they just snub me hehhehhe (dont know why?)
Bout being friendly with the taxi driver am afraid to say that here in UAE, it doesn’t apply, because most of the taxi drivers are from Pakistan - hugh! even eye contact i dont want to attempt, or else they will start to ask if you have a ‘Filibini’ friend - and will ask you if you can introduce him…
Rey - just take care sometimes with this driver, esp. if you are in Abu Dhabi, these pakistanis, will attempt to touch part of your body if you are too friendly… a driver did it to my brother (touched his legs..) dont want to get into details what did happen afterwards.
Hi Bob, I’m
Not to worry though, it only happens once in a blue moon…
Hi Angie, yes definitely hot because I got out of the office at 12 noon and with the insanely cold air conditioning of the buildings here (i’m not talking about the biggest freezer in the world yet), the moment you step outside, you can hear your brain sizzling.
We do have to be friendly to those who controls the wheels and…also during the time I was still there in Davao and inside a cab, whenever someone waves at us I also waves back at them ala Sandara Park with a smile pa! And all I got was a frown from those people! I think I was doing it wrong then…I mean the wave ala Sandara Park. Hope you know her, I was a fan of her during her “sikat” days.
Hi Marygrace, i’ve heard a lot about that kind of stories but haven’t encountered something like that. I’ve been to Al Ain and Abu Dhabi several times and nothing untoward happened on this trips. And when walking, i’m usually just greeted with “Hello Pareee!”, sometimes I greet back sometimes I don’t, we’re not “kumpare” anyway. Thanks for the concern though but I really wonder why…could be my looks?
Angie… i’m just kidding ok
I try to strike up a conversation with taxi and tricycle drivers whenever possible. I am most interested on where they’re from, their family situation and how much they work. Of course, they reciprocate in kind and try to find out a little bit about me. In one instance, a driver picked us up from the Heritage Hotel to take us to Las Pinas in Manila. I have taken this route a few times before so I have a pretty good idea of the cost. He was a friendly guy who hailed from Butuan, Mindanao. When we arrived at our destination, the fare came to about P150 more than usual, and with a big smile, he wished us well. I often wondered whether he has different price ranges for foreigners vs. locals. But he was a friendly guy supporting a family back home so I didn’t mind giving him that extra US $3. But I still wonder whether I was taken for a ride or not, if you know what I mean.
Hi Aldel,
You probably were taken for a ride but don’t feel bad. The way I look at it, unless it’s outrageously “inflated,” I’m still in the enviable position of the one with the extra resources to share…
So little “rides” like these do not bother me, personally, even if I’m aware of it. I only envision how much they have to endure to make a living, something that we take for granted here in America or the more progressive countries of Europe.
With that, I am able to let go because I have switched from “being a victim” to being a “good samaritan” to my kababayan. This kind of shift works well for me because I don’t want to feel the victim…. Well, actually, no one does, right? That easily ruins my mood.
Sooo… I’d rather feel that I had shared my blessings with a less fortunate kababayan. I am a happily informed victim that way, if I may call myself that…
Hi Aldel, looks like you were literally taken for a ride or maybe his meter could just be defective. You should have asked him if he has a different rate since it’s not the usual fare you pay, i’m sure he’s got an excuse for that. Anyhow, it does happen. What I do in this kind of situation and i’m local by the way, I tell him in a friendly tone how much I usually pay on this trip. They always sheepishly says it might be a defective meter and ask me to just pay the usual fare.
That guy surely has regretted what he’s done if he did intentionally cheat you. Filipinos in the Phils. usually takes pride befriending a foreigner and since you were so genial to him, he blew it up having a foreigner he can call a friend and might be ashamed if you encounter him again.
Rey,
If I remember correctly, Aldel is Filipino. At least that is what I remember of his past posts.
Your advice also makes a lot of sense… Though, of course, if we felt somehow that we were charged exorbitantly, and yet we failed to clarify, then I (as the passenger) am as responsible for the outcome because I did not seek for a justification or did not give the driver the chance to explain his position.
Having failed to do that, I’ll probably just tread on the gentler side and not think the worst of him. But that’s me… Probably I’m just a wimp! LOL. But no, I’m a wimp who can turn into an ogre, too! Some folks have found that out and have regretted finding out that side of me.
post # 12 oh sorry..my first time to encounter his name i thought he’s an expat there.
Yeah, I know the amount is not much, but I am just curious if we are conditioning these drivers to expect more from foreigners. Rigged or not, at least the taxi drivers have meters that you can look at. Not being familiar with most of the routes in the Philippines, here is what most tricycle drivers tell me when I ask them the cost of the ride: Bahala kana, which means it is up to me to determine. Well, early on I was overpaying because feeling sorry for these drivers factored into my decision in determining the amount.
But back to the original topic, yes, being friendly with the taxi drivers hasn’t hurt me. In fact I enjoy listening to their stories, and of course, their curiousity about life in a foreign land is also partially satisfied.
John, I ride the taxi a lot in Davao. I say that it goes both ways sometimes because I also experience some strict and shy pinoy drivers. I think the there is this culture with some westerners where they are taught not to talk to strangers esp. in a foreign country. Some foreigners have this perception of better to be quite since they are still new to the place and afraid to give information about themselves.
I live in a condo here in hawaii and majority of our neighbor doesnt really know each others name. Most of the time just hi hello and have a nice day on the elevator ride.
I once experience in Davao where the driver of the taxi is a white american man in his late 30s who speaks fluent bisaya. There was four of us and we were talking in Bisaya and got so curious what is this man doing driving a taxi. We didnt know he speaks fluent Bisaya and told us that he live in davao since he was a little kid. He sounded like local dabawenyos and i was really surprise because its my first time to meet a white man who speaks fluent bisaya.
I go to Manila everytime i go on vacation and taxi drivers there are mostly mean and wise. I think taxi drivers in Davao are more friendly.
John,
Your lucky. On both trips to Davao, we took a lot of taxi rides. I tried to talk to every driver, but they never talked to me. Sometimes Elena would take over in bisaya, and then if the driver spoke, it would be with her and I would be left out.
I love to talk to people and at the mall I would talk and joke with all the sales people and casheers. At least they would talk with me.
Maybe it is my deep voice that scares them.
Excellent post, John. Some will recall I commented recently on another post about taxi driver “horror stories”. For some reason foreigners … or whatever the heck you want to be called … are so ’spring loaded’ to being cheated they seem to set up sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy … they expect the worst and that’s what they get.
I enjoy taking every chance I get to talk with Filipinos. I am not here to have an “us versus them” relationship. You will find that many Filipinos, based on sometimes erroneous information, or a few bad examples sometimes have an “us versus them’ mindset too. The only way to combat false impressions and attitudes is to communicate. yes, there will be others who don’t reciprocate … there will be bad apples in every barrel … but you’ll never find the sweet ones if you don’t look.
@ Bruce ===>> The deep voice thing may be more on target thna you think. I know in my own case I tend to talk too loud and too fast … and like many Americans I have caught myself often in the bad habit of reaising my voice when I am not getting through to someone. To a fellow American this would be nothing more than an annoyance … to most Asian cultures this is extremely intimidating. Remember if you are talking to a fellow Westerners and the volume goes up, it’s most likely the “other side” of the conversation will just get louder and more animated also .. but a Filipino is much more likely to become very quiet and uncomfortable and look for an ‘escape route”. When I happen to pay attention to myself and think … which isn’t all that often … I find that consciously dropping my voice and rephrasing things into smaller sentences works wonders.
We ride a lot of taxis in Manila and any other cituy where we do not live. In Manila we always love to get a driver who speaks Bisaya! We have an instant repore and can actually talk about things. If we don’t my husband always strickes up a conversation anyway! I am the one less likely to initiate a long conversation with someone whom I cannot understand very well (Tagalog speaker). So, I guess we’ve never ridden with your taxi driver, John!
Hello Bruce - i think the driver might be shy because he thought he could not communicate with you in English…but am really sure he was happy you were trying to talk to him/befriend to him
Dave,
I do not talk loud or aggessive, what I meant is my voice is very deep, like “Lurch” from the Addams Family tv show.
I have actually come accross this, and remember I am new in the country. I definately love conversatin with anyone, however I think I am scared to talk to the drivers because I want them consintrating on the road. I cannot believe the traffic!!!
[...] few months ago, John Grant wrote a column on this site about a journey that he took in a taxi here in Davao. It was an interesting article, and mostly talked about communication between taxi drivers and [...]