Klaus Doring

Are you an ex pat living in the Philippines? Are you Filipino/Filipina? Do you ever feel low? You don’t feel depressed, but a bit lack luster? You feel so especially on Sunday’s or even during vacation? if you can change your lifestyle, you can also change your mind - your mood. I don’t want to give suggestions about “what to eat and drink” - or better NOT to eat and drink. However, there are some simple advices which worked. I experienced it by myself.

-Distract yourself: The last thing you should do is stay in bed wallowing in self-pity. Distract yourself with a a dos of normality. Watching a movie (hopefully NOT a drama!) or even cleaning the kitchen on a Sunday can help. Important is that you move away from where you were when you felt bad. You are the one alone who is taking responsibility of your mood restrictive your feelings. A simple walk around (into nature places) does miracles.

-Forgive someone: When you forgive someone or even yourself, you release anger and resentment that’s bogging you down. If you stay angry, you’re the person carrying all the negative of the day and maybe the whole world. That keeps you in the past, and linked with the person or thing, you’re unhappy about.Instead, you should try to forgive, forget or move on. It’s very much important to resolve issues from the past if you want a future with real possibilities, joy and happiness.

-Switch to realistic thinking: I always meet ex pats, living here for even only a couple of months (or weeks!) complaining “God and the whole world”. The happy medium between rose-tined positive thinking and beat-yourself-up negativity is when you can say: “Okay, I’m having a bad day, but it doesn’t make me a failure” instead of: “I feel awful and/or my life here in the Philippines is so awful!” By the way, how was your life in your home country??? Anyway, if adopt this attitude, you are not pretending that everything is fine. You are now acknowledging your feelings, and giving yourself permission to feel less than perfect, which in turns makes it easier to emerge from the fog.

-Develop a positive attitude: Examine your thoughts and perceptions, and replace unhelpful thoughts patterns with a more positive approach. The difference between a happy person and someone, who is depressed isn’t that one has all the luck of the world. But that they perceive what’s happening to them differently. If you are a little bit low today, even it’s actually a beautiful day, rather than chronically depressed, you can make changes yourself. Consider the cause of happiness and try to look at it objectively. Would an outsider see it as you do?

-Go swimming: Wow, have you noticed as an ex pat, that we are so blessed in the Philippines having wonderful beaches and chances to enjoy swimming in the sea? Besides walking in the nature, the best all-around exercise swimming is also an excellent mood-booster, as water supports your body and allowing it to relax completely. Many people find they feel like a total free spirit in water - and so I do also. It’s also a low risk sport - ideal when you are feeling low, as that’s when you are most accident-prone.

Last- but not least: Do a life audit: yes, DO IT, even being an ex pat pensioner. Living and waiting for the next pension remittance will make you bored as never before. Some people stuck in a rut because they don’t take time to work out where they are heading. Consider your family, friends and your Filipina wife and ask yourself, what you want to be in five years and whether you are heading in the right direction. Try to make decisions to change your life and ask yourself what is getting in your way and what can you do about it. It is the same principle as going through your cupboards and tossing out the clothes that don’t fit you anymore. If there are no uses, they are just cluttering your life. And remember, you will laugh about it later.

Stop trying to “cope” (making sure everything goes smoothly) and deal with life more simply. One of the keys enjoying life is having the ability to laugh at yourself, even it seems to be impossible for you right at this moment. We tend to exaggerate our problems. Getting extremely upset about a broken plate is losing perspective. When you can catch yourself doing this - and can laugh about it - you have a valuable tool for keeping the blues at bay.

:roll:  :wink:  :lol:

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