Filipino time
I told you already, that from time to time, I would only like to ask you, dear reader, a question and then being very curious and interested in your answers. My today’s question is: “What do you think about Filipino time and how do you deal with it?” I am pretty sure, that many of you could leave a comment. I got the idea because of Bob’s yesterday’s write up. Actually, I would like to share my opinion with you later. But let me tell you already now: I didn’t and I will never adjust myself if it’s coming to this topic. Anyway, guys, thanks for reading and thanks for visiting “Liveinthephilippines”…
I can’t adjust to it myself. Being ex military I have an internal chronometer and if I’m 1 minute late I’m going insane. It’s one of the biggest issues between me and my wife because she takes Phil time to the extreme. Now if we have guests coming over I don’t mind if they’re late.
Louis, believe it or not, I am like you, even after being here for nearly 20 years. I hate being late, but I really don’t mind so much if others arer late. My husband, while not Filipino, does not have the same sort of internal clock I have. Give me a time and I can pretty much correctly fingure out what has to be done and how long it will take, in order for us to arrive by that golden moment. As a multi-tasking mother of seven kids, I am good at this!
But, this is not a skill that gains me anything here. Sigh. I have arrived at parties to find the hostess still in her duster and without make-up. I have arrived at events and spent over an hour watching people set up chairs. I have arrived at dinners and watched flies landing on the cooling food while trying to keep my kids from watching the horror movies turned on to entertain my also early children! Nah, being on time is not all it cracked up to be! I and my watch have become a problem!
In studying about culture I learned that people who live in a culture like the Philippines (and this culture is very much on time compared to many other cultures!) tend to look at the given time as the time to begin preparing to go to the event, not the arrival time. I have found that if I take the time given (+30 minutes for a party) as the time to leave the house, it works much better. I am still looking at my watch, planning the optimal departure time, but I am working toward a much more socially acceptable time of arrival. If it is a really big community event, like Miss Tourism, you can safely arrive at least an hour after the given time and still get a good seat. Believe me, I know!
It was a big achievement for me this year to manage to be the last to arrive at a Bible study I have with two ladies! After consistantly arriving 45 minute to an hour before either of them (both are very busy ladies), I knew I had to force myself to chill out and play solitaire on my computer for that fidgety hour I knew in my heart was deadtime. So far I have managed to arrive late twice! Yehey! I want this to be my problem, not theirs. I am the one who needs to adjust my way of thinking to reality. I want them to feel comfortable with me and to know how much I value their friendship more than I value puctuality. I feel embarassed when my friends are always apologizing to me for being late.
In many ways, I am like Louis and AmericanLola. I get crazy if I am late, even by only a few minutes. I hate being late. However, if guests are coming and they are late I don’t mind too much. That being said, though… if they are hours late, that bothers me. We have had times where people said they were coming at a certain time, and they showed up like 3 or 4 hours after that. When that happens, they might as well not even come, because I am annoyed! Ha ha….
Hi Louis. American Lola and Bob, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I also hate being late. I wouldn’t discuss about 30+- minutes. And giving a party is much more different then a business appointment. I experienced 6 hours waiting for a business meeting in Manila a couple of years ago. We tried to set an appointment for the next day. After again 2 hours waiting, we left the venue… - Before I gave a birthday party. After the party was over (something like 1 am), some invited guests arrived. We stayed already in bed…
Hi everyone -
For us, weekdays are ruled by the clock as most interaction is with Americans, and that’s the way business runs.
Weekends, however, are ruled by Philippine Time. No watches are worn, no commitments connected by the words “o’clock” are made, no worries about early or late! Most weekend activities are either Fil-Am or Fil-family.
Sounds a little odd, but the degree of relaxation and decreased stress makes the weekends (and time away from the Phils) more pleasurable.
As for guests and visitors, we’ll ask them to stop by in the afternoon on a Saturday or Sunday. Whenever they show up is fine by us - we don’t plan on doing anything else for that afternoon/evening. If they don’t show, we might be a little annoyed. Usually they do show up - they enjoy the food (we always follow Philippine custom of providing company with food and drink and Emy’s cooking is great) and, hopefully, they enjoy the company!
Sometimes I think the Philippine clock is divided into Buntag, Hapon and Gabii. My wife said her friend is coming over and I asked what time, she said “in the afternoon”… ok but what time? “I dunno in the afternoon mahal.” LOL
One thing that I hate is when people tell me that we will meet “after lunch.” What time is that? Normally, I eat lunch at 2pm. Most Filipinos eat at Noon. So, what time is “after lunch?”
Well Bob it’s the time after lunchtime and just “before dinner”
Yeah, just this week a guy said he was coming over to see us ‘after lunch’ so we didn’t take our usual nap, but sat around nodding and waiting. He actually showed up at 3:30! Ah well. no sense getting upset about that sort of thing… we just look at each other and shrug.
Klaus, Bob and all,
Filipino time will be something I will need to adjust to. With all the posts in the past, and now, it makes me think.
Years ago, when living with my mom, on saturdays we would go to lunch and marketing. While waiting, I would watch tv, she would say to turn it off, she is ready to go.I would turn off the tv, grab my keys and wait at the door. I would get upset because she then would check her makeup, her purse, the shopping list and anything else. To me, when I say I am ready to leave, my car keys are in my hand.
If I say I will be somewhere at a time, if it is the first time going there, I leave early, find the location and then find something to do to pass the time until needed.
So, I will have to learn to be patient and Elena will have to learn how to calm my fustration.
Hi Klaus- I’m no different from the rest of you who think being unpunctual is a crime. Working for a German company makes time keeping all the more exacting, their phylosophy is do what you like as long as you are on time.
The thing about being late in the Philippines is especially when waiting on your partner is you start to perspire and by the time you are ready to go you are like a wet dish towel and feel horrible.
I do not have an answer to the question except I will never acept lateness for no good reason because to me its the height of bad manners.
Jim- I’ve found a way around the “wet dishtowel” thing. I just sit in my boxers next to the fan until my wife is ready to go. I can get dressed in 10 seconds when it takes her 48 years (sigh). Nobody said this marriage thing was gonna be easy.
Hi Paul, it’s amazing, I observed the same “procedere” in my family and in my surroundings. It’s really a good thing…
Hi American Lola, good! What else could you do? But one objection: Filipino time during business appointments can still let my patience wearing thin…
Hi Louis, I experienced the same. Depending “the event” I asked many times the “correct time”. I got it: 2.30 pm. But it remains as how it is: Filipino time.
Hi Bob, you are right. I had an appointment with my attorney “after lunch”. Only because I know exactly about “office lunch time from 12 to 1 p.m., I was there at 1.15 p.m. The attorney was waiting already.
Hi Jim, you are right. My same experiences in Germany. But not all managements and bosses think like this. And, being depended by a time clock doesn’t leave you a single chance to follow Filipino Time.
Hi Louis- I’m going to take your advice when next in the Phill’s to see if it works for me lol.
I grew up in the Philippines and “Filipino time” used to bother me. Then I moved to Virginia, married and Irishman, did missionary work in Haiti, and learned that Filipinos do not have a monopoly on this. My husband used to always say, ‘When God made time, he made plenty of it”. The practice must be common in societies/communities that are more laid back.
Hi Bebot, thanks for leaving a comment. You are absolutely right. I experienced the same with “Jamaica Time” or even, or (of course!) during many occasions in Spain. Regards to your husband. It’s very true, what he said.