I will share with you an email from somebody who is wanting to retire here but because of the bad economy all over the world she has to put the thinking of retirement on hold and try to work harder and longer. I’m pretty sure a lot of our readers can relate to this.
“Dear Feyma, how are you? I am an avid reader of your site for quite sometime now. I am a Filipina living in North America for over 15 years now. We have a few things in common. I am a little older than you. My husband will be turning 53 next year. I wanted to retire there, but my husband wants to wait until he is retiring from work and wants to saved ore money for us later. Really I think because of his mom being old and no one will take care of her. He has a brother, but I think him and his wife were just too busy taking care of other things and have no time for my mother-in-law. It really comes down to us. We asked My mother-in-law if she would want to live in the Philippines? We even said to her that we could hire a nurse for her. You’ve mentioned before about how cheap it is to hire a nurse there. So I told her and I showed her your site. She doesn’t want to be in the Philippines. She said that she wants to be near to her family and friends here in the US. The Philippines is just too far, she said. I am really getting tired and getting sick of the life here. I really envy you and your husband and those expats that live there. I wish we could retire there soon. I really hope.
I am wondering, you’ve said that you had big adjustments to make when you moved back there. Is it really that bad? I am curious of what you’ve been through when you finally lived there. I don’t have any kids, so you think it will be a little better to adjust? I want to tell you that me and my husband will live comfortably when we decide to retire there. I want to buy a house there so that we don’t have to worry about money for a house. He will received good money on his retirement. I don’t want to live in a big house there. Just good enough for me and my husband. We liked to travel a lot there and see the other areas of the Philippines. I hope to see you and your husband when we will travel there. I like your website. Keep up the good work. I am hoping that you will write back. Karen “
Hi Karen, To answer your questions on my adjustments on living here. For the first few days coming back it was okay at first. I think I was still in the zone of being like a vacationer here. After a couple of weeks or so, it became a reality for me that I am here in the Philippines to live not vacationing. I started to have anxiety already. I was depressed for quite some time. It’s not fun to be here in the Philippines anymore.
Like after a month, I am already ready to move back to the US again in a heartbeat. Bob and I made a commitment to ourselves before going back here to the Philippines to lived, that no matter what happened whether we like it or not here we have to stay here for 5 years. If ever between the 5 years of staying here that we don’t like living here, then we can move back to the States. Well, thankfully before my 5 years of living here I liked it here already.
Also seeing that my son Chris who has some special needs was well accepted here and well loved by my family and friends, that was really my turning point watching my son so happy and loved here. I can’t ask for more than that. He is really one of the main reason for us to move here.
I will be honest with you it took me like 3 years to fully adjust here. It’s not an easy adjustment. I have my urge to go back to the States once in awhile. You will experience a lot of crying and wishing to be where you are from. To think of it, I am not a shopper person there in the States. When I was in the States stayed home and just do some stuff at home like decorating the house, painting and decorating birdhouses. I am a stay at home mom there, do some volunteering a few times a month in school.One of the hard parts of living here was watching our kababayan (fellowmen) struggle in life everyday. I really felt sorry for them. It was always hard seeing some members of my family struggle in life too. The good part of going back here, my kids at least know my mom. She stayed with us off and on for a few years before she passed away. She like to stay in the farm. My kids like to stay in the farm too. They’re so excited when summer time arrives here. They spent some weeks on the farm with my sisters and brothers there.
To answer your question if it might be easier for you to adjust since you don’t have any kids? That I don’t know. I know some friends that don’t have kids that the wife went through similar to what I’ve been through. In fairness it might be easier with you guys now. When we moved back here at that time internet was just new. No skype or cheaper calls abroad unlike now lots of free calls and text and the webcam. The technology nowadays is really something. Problem in my case my friends before we hardly talk because they are not a computer savvy. I am not either. I know a little bit though. 😉
You don’t really need big money to live here if you are not a shopaholic person. If you live in the city away from Manila, then it’s a little cheaper. It’s way cheaper in the South when it comes to food. Most of the food in Manila comes from the other part of the Philippines and the Southern Mindanao.Where do you want to settle here? I am based in Davao.
Thank you so much for writing Karen. I will advise you to go through all the post here on the sites. You will learn a lot from our early post here. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. Honestly, we went through the same way before. It was hard to accept at first on Bob’s mother. But she knows that we really want to live here and it was really the best we did for our oldest son Chris. Hope you can follow your dream. Good luck to you.
Hey guys maybe you can share some advice for Karen. I will really appreciate you guys help. I know a lot of you guys went through what she’s feeling right now. It is not easy to convince the better half also to live here, leaving his love ones behind there. I hope that they will really end up living here later.
Cheers!
Oh my wife all ready convinced the better half to move there. 😀
Great article Feyma, I appreciate your sharing this story it helps in knowing what to start to expect when we move there.
Hi Darin Collins – Good that your wife likes to live here. With Bob and I, he was the one wanting to lived here. I was so petrified by just thinking about moving here it at first. Now, we loved it here.
Hey, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Hope to see you here in the PI as an expats.
Good to see you here again.
We would be there but we are trying to create a way keep an income while we are there. When we have that we will be able to make the move.
That’s a good start. Good luck to you and your wife.
Take care!
We moved back to the Philipppines 5 years now in November. My husband and I have no kids as well and I still found the move back a little difficult. My husband, Dave had an easier time…he just enjoyed all the difference at first. For me, I was single for so long that moving back with a husband was a new experience. My family was always so concerned about Dave…”Give Dave the fish head and not the tail!” or “Why did you leave Dave at home again….he’s all alone” or “You let Dave go out on his own?!” – this was all so irritating because Dave was 61 years old when we moved and pretty independent! Traffic, shopping (out of stock) and so many little things were irritating. I guess I spent a lot of time irritated that first year. But now, I am adjusted even if I still hate the traffic….went back to work and even if I am not the ideal housewife taking care of the husband and household 24/7…we are better for it. We have more to talk about and less to bicker about. Back in the States we kept a home business so we managed to keep ourselves busy. I like keeping myself busy because when I was staying home, the daily grind was pretty boring. I am not a businesswoman so I stayed away from that.
My stepson came and visited here and we visited the US last year…we actually appreciated it more than we did when we were living there. Do we want to move back to the US? Sometimes…but our home is in the Philippines now. I was lucky that my husband always wanted to retire in Asia…this was important in my decision to marry him. On the other hand, if he told me he wanted to live in the US longer to be with his family..I’d understand. But his family don’t keep close contact…it was basically just my stepson we were in touch with.
Hi Mita – I hear you. I think we are still continuing our journey on adjusting here. It’s not easy but we will get there.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences my friend. I really appreciate you sharing it here.
See you and the gang sometime soon here in Davao.
Take care!
So funny … I saw Feyma’s article in mt feed reader and jumped over here to contribute a few cents and found that my better half .. by a long chalk … had already said it better.
The one “piece of baggage” I didn’t bring along was a large family back in the US. So many people write me and ask questions about mundane things like cost of living, what visa to use, etc., but they seem to never be considering the larger issues .. especially how they will keep in touch with family and friends back in the USA. It’s not a trivial issue, guys and gals.
Also, especially to the foreign men reading this … the fact that your spouse being born here in the Philippines will not automatically make it easy for her to move back. By nature, and especially by Filipino nature, the wife works much harder than the husband to “make a house a home”. We men, in general, and especially we foreigner men have it really easy in adapting to life in the Philippines.
As Mita said, we love living here but there are occasional bouts of homesickness for the US, and in my case, those happen often after a particularly trying day of just trying to buy some simple item in a store, trying to do what would be a trivially simple customer service task at some store, etc.
There’s so much more to adapting to life here in the Philippines than the cost of living … trust me on that.
Hi Dave – I could not have said it better than you and Mita. You guys went through what me and Bob been through. We commit ourselves to be here for a long haul.
Thank you to both of you for sharing your thoguhts. I really highly appreciate that.
Cheers to you guys!
yes i can see where she is coming from and a very good posting
like her i must also make up my mind when and how am i going to move to to the phill as it as come down to this Feyma as u know my wife canot get her vica for here in australia and part form us spliting up there is no way out for me but to move there to live i know the first year or so is going to be hard for me but i must soon pack me things here and move there for good we do have a lovely home there mate and that is one good thing about it but i wont to wait till it is all payed for be for i go so i wont have the stress off that to think about as i have no idears about making a living there yet we did talk about it a little when i was there 5 weeks a go but stilll did not come to some good things yet but i know all in god time it will work out ok…….peter martin tassie
Mrs Feyma,
Thanks for posting the e-mail giving us insight of how you adjusted to life there. I wish Karen alot of luck when she makes the move. I think she will do just fine. I’m hoping i have a smooth adjustment when i live there. One thing i know i will have plenty of support. Take care and have a nice day.
Hi Papa Duck – Thank you so much.
Good luck to you. Hopefully you will be living in the Philippines soon.
Take care!
HI peterjoy – I hope you and your wifey will be together soon. It must be hard for you both. Is it hard to get a visa to come to Australia? I know that it is a bit hard and takes longer to get a visa for the States now compared to the time when I applied 20 years ago. Which means to say I am getting older now. lol…
Anyway, good luck to you on your quest. Hopefully you will be living the Philippines soon.
As always, good to see you here mate!
Hi Feyma: Excellent article. Just to share my late mother’s experience as a balikbayan in the Philippines in retirement. After over 30 years in the U.S. , my mother did not like to haggle in the open market anymore. She preferred to shop at the mall markets. She frequented Gaisano and a small neighborhood market called “Tita Guapa” in Cebu. This small market catered to balikbayans in their neighborhood in Labangon, Cebu City. It carries many brands from the U.S. She liked posted prices. In Cagayan de Oro City, my late mother liked to shop malls called “Ororama”. This has more of a Filipino flavor, catering to local tastes but a mall nevertheless. While in these malls, she can take-out Shakey’s pizza for my father. These are just leftovers of what she liked while living in the U.S. Both my parents were gainfully employed in the U.S. and retired in the Philippines for 19 years before their passing. They passed away at the same year and were happy and comfortable in the Philippines in their last years. I hope to retire in the Philippines when it is time for me. Meanwhile, I’m still gainfully employed in the U.S. and have many more years before retirement.
Hi Roselyn – Thank you so much for the nice comment and thank yo too for sharing what your mom been experiencing living back here. Good thing nowadays too many shops(malls) carries product from the North America, Europe, Australia and other part of Asia. Lots of products to chose from.
Hope to see you retiring soon here.
Cheers!
Hi Feyma. My Filipina wife and I moved to the rural province of Guimaras over two years ago. We don’t have any children but plenty of nieces and nephews. My wife spent 9 years with me in America before we retired here. She misses her Filipina friends back in the States and shopping. She keeps in touch with them via Facebook and our magicJack telephone hooked up to our computer which we shipped via a balikbayan box.
It has been a tremendous challenge at times to adapt to our new life, but we’re glad we have stayed. We actually almost moved back to the States last year but decided to stick it out. We’re both glad we did. We’re not rich, but we’re content. I love the Philippines and the Filipino people and have even gotten used to the lizards that crawl on our kitchen ceiling, though I find it great sport to whack them off their perch with my slipper. I’m getting better. They’re either getting slower, or I’m getting quicker. The Philippines is not for everyone, but my asawa and I are here for the long haul. I encourage Karen and anyone else to give it a try. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. See me if you want any tips on lizard whacking.
Hi Dave DeWall – Good to see more and more expats here in the Philippines. We used to have vonage phone, but somehow it got damaged. We tried the skype and it work good with our business. So we stick with skype now.
Hey, tell me about it. For a few years it will be a big challenge living here. But it will get better through time and patience. Which sometimes I am out of it.
Sorry to disappoint you Dave. But we don’t whack our lizards in our house. I guess growing up my mom just don’t let us kill those critters ( That’s another story to tell here later) lol. Here in our house I think our cats got the lizards before us seeing them. I’ve seen some dead lizard inside our house once in awhile.
Thank you again for the nice comment and advice for Karen.
Take care!
Dear Feyma,
Could you please advice me of Tacloban and Samar islan as a location for migrating? Is it a safe (in weather and crime) ? cheap COL? Infrastructure such as roads and internet good? . I was told some areas the service are very poor while others are very good. I prefer provinces for less hassle as I would love to forget the rat race I been ling all my life.
Please advice
Hi Jim Todd – To tell you honestly, I’ve been to Tacloban when I was a kid with my parents. That was a long time ago. I think its a nice place to live. Tacloban, Samar and Leyte area were the place in the Visayas region that will get typhoon often than the other places there.
Maybe some readers here from that region can tell you what its like to live in that area. I will ask around I might have some friends from there. I will let you know about it right away.
Good luck to you.
Hi Feyma – I suppose it’s never easy to give advice on coming to live here permanently in the Philippines as no two people are the same and each place we live is also different.
One thing I can say for sure like everywhere else you may live you still need a holiday away from it all to charge your batteries once a year.
Regards.
Jim.
Hello Feyma,I am seventy years of age and I am wanting to live in the Philippines within the next two months or so, but I need for you to tell me what in your opinion would be the best way to go about it?
Without going into all the details I have a Filipino fiancee living in Cayagan de oro city with her niece and I will have $900 au per month plus my fiancee`s $200 au to live on, total of $1100 per month to pay the rent, food, and all outgoings.
We have talked it over ,and as it is a big step for me to take at this stage of my life to move permanently to the Philippines we decided that I should try it for at least months and then if things go well and we are still happy together,as I am sure that we will be, then for me to sell my house here in Australia and to move there permanently.
Feyma what do you think of this idea and will $1100 au be enough for the three of us to live on per month, or maybe you might have a different idea of what I should do, as I REALLY need some help here.
Yes I have been to the Philippines ,but am not too shook on Cayagan de oro city where my fiancee lives now.
Perhaps you also could advice me of another location that would be suitable to live on $900 au per month should my fiancee leave her job and we move.
Many thanks Feyma.
David F