SIR is the basic system that guides Philippine Society, it is the foundation of Filipino Culture. SIR stands for “Smooth Interpersonal Relations.” Continuing on with my series of articles about SIR, today I want to look at the first Value that comprises Sir: In Group.
“In Group” is also known as “Kita” in the Bisaya parts of the country, in other areas it is also known as the “Barkada” system. Basically it means that Filipino hangs out in a group, rather than individually. It also means that the individual tends to take on the group dynamic, rather than the group taking on the personality of it’s members.
The study material that I have defines the “In Group” concept this way:
Americans tend to value privacy and individuality. Filipinos, on the other hand, stress the importance of the group.
When it says “Americans” you can substitute “Westerner” for that. This study material was written by a Filipino, and the tag “American” tends to apply to all westerners. I believe that it is true that Europeans and Australians tend to match the Americans when it comes to valuing privacy, and prizing individuality, so making the word substitution is not a big leap.
Because of this group culture, the feeling of the Filipino is that if you shame one person from the group, you shame the whole group. To cause shame for a Filipino is the worst thing you can possibly do to him. Now, think about this. The worst thing that you can do to a Filipino is to cause him shame, and if you cause shame to an individual, you have shamed the entire group. Let’s say that the group is 10 people. If you are out in public somewhere and you do something to somebody to cause him shame (i.e. cause him to lose face), you have just shamed this entire group of 10 people. Suddenly you have 10 people against you! At this point, each and every one of those Filipinos feels a need to save face, or to recover the pride of the group. If you are in the wrong sitaution, or against the wrong group, this is a potentially very difficult situation for you. It could be life threatening, so you need to look out. Your best thing would have been to avoid this sitaution all along – SIR.
Part of this whole group concept is known as “Pakikisama” which comes from the Tagalog word “kasama” which means companion. Pakikisama means companionable – in other words the individual conforms to the will of the group so that he can become companionable. Individuality goes out the door, and the group opinion takes the lead. The Filipino will do all he can to maintain pakikisama. However, Pakikisama is really more closely tied to the second tenet of SIR, which we will talk about next time.
If you go to the mall, or go out anywhere around the Philippines, did you ever notice that it is rare to see Filipinos by themselves? They are almost always in large groups, or at a minimum with another person. In my business here, I often get frustrated that if I send a person to go to do a certain job for me, they always want to bring along another employee with them. A job that can easily be done by a single person almost always takes two people, because of the need not to be alone. Over the years, my employees and I have kind of reached a middle ground – I am more willing to let them do things in pairs (or more), and they are also willing to do things alone when need be.
If you go to a restaurant here, you always see big groups of people dining. In the States, probably the most common sight in a restaurant would be a couple, followed by a single person, I’d say. It is very rare to see a single person dining in a restaurant here in the Philippines.
Anyway, this is a look at the first part of the SIR system – “In Group”
Maayong Buntag Bob
This explains reasons why I see so many Filipina concerned about the structure of there group and why I have seen Filipina defend another member of the group even when they are clearly in the wrong. My wife is also very cautious about the people and groups she associates with even though I have told her to not worry about the groups so much. This also explains why the Filipino parties are so important to everyone. I have seen Filipino that will spend there last peso and use the last cup of rice for the party. There are also many advantages to these groups and the way they will defend each other and if one of the group is in need you will see everyone in the group come to the rescue.
Morning Bob,
Funny isn't it? The more space you have around you such as in Australia or Texas, the greater your requirement for personal space and the desire for privacy. So you might think that those who live cheek by jowl all the time would crave that experience too, but the reverse is true. They seek close companionship all the time. Obviously what you grow up with in those formative years sticks with you. I have two friends of European extraction (who were born in Australia but to immigrant parents) and their personal space requirement is less than mine. I often take a step back in a discussion!
Hi Larry- I never really thought about it until your comment this morning, but when we lived in the States, there were distinct groups of Filipinos. I mean, we had a certain group who always had parties and get togethers, and there were other groups that did this. It always seemed like the groups didn't really mix with each other much, just kept to themselves, within the group. New people would join the group from time to time, but they would choose one group to join, not mix in with multiple groups. Interesting.
Hi AussieLee- Yes, it is funny, and interesting too. I am a person who really needs and craves personal space. I enjoy having "alone time" and just being able to reflect and think without having a bunch of people around. In our house, I have two rooms that are "off limits" to others, unless I invite them in. This is my office and Feyma and my bedroom. I spend a lot of time in these two rooms alone. If I want to mix with the others, I go to other areas of the house. It kind of gives me both sides of the coin, if you get my drift.
We have the "group" that ..'belong' to, and we have been invited to "other' groups which i can only assume is somewhat of an honor to be 'invited into",. one thing I notice is there is always a senior figure in each group which "herds" both its physical and mental direction of the group to a large degree. From my understanding this type of individual/group binding is common to tribal based communitys past and present, much like our own native indians where survival depended on the integrity of the group and its ability to join efforts for the common good of all.
Hi brian- nice new Gravatar! On your old Gravatar I think you were having a bad hair day, but this new one…. perfect! 😆
Yeah, I have noticed also that there always seems to be a "Chief" to each of these groups. Maybe that is why different groups come into play – somebody else wants to be chief, so they branch off their own group. ❓
having a party? Inviting Filipinos? Can't invite just one, have to invite the entire group or someone loses face. If one member of the group becomes successful either they are expected to help everyone in the group or they leave the group. Rarely can a person make it on their own here so they form groups. I noticed this even applies to the OFW's in Alaska. I know who the leader of the group is and if someone is misbehaving I go to the leader and let him handle it. In my time up there I don't think I ever did anything to cause someone to lose face… too bad my partner did though. They ignored him most of the time unless he threatened to get management involved.
Hi BrSpiritus- I'm curious… when your partner caused the loss of faith, did it also have an effect on how the group related to you? I was thinking that the group might have classified it that "your group" caused a problem for them, and thus included you in the blame for what your partner did.
Good morning, Bob. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, as well as to
all Americans living in the Philippines.
Here in Spain, there are countless groupings, too:
Scandinavian grouping; British grouping, Arab grouping, Chinese grouping,
Latin American grouping, American grouping , German grouping, Dutch, Belgian,
French grouping. But Filipinos, with only a small population of around 25,000,
seem to prefer to be independent, so I doubt if there's a particular grouping.
This place is highly cosmopilitan, and there are even towns with more
Germans or Norwegians than the Spaniards themselves, In the past we'd be
asked to join the British Club and the American Club, but we always declined
membership to both. Why? It's all about eating!!! meeting in Chinese restaurants
and eat, yes, socialise indeed, but in a very superficial level. Above all, there's
just too much gossip and jealousy and cattiness involved that the two leaders
ofhe American Club had to split up because the female leader was rather
"behaving in an authoritarian way", according to the female leader who told
me when we were dining in a local Chinese and I knew the female leader socially well. I decided long ago not to belong to any grouping and it's
paying off since all my social friends form all members of the "United Nations".
I count Arab, South Americans, Brits, Chinese, Dutch, Germans, Belgians
as social friends (many of them are or had been neighbours until they moved
out to live in houses up in the hills. foreigners form the biggest bulk of oiling
the local economy here and the Spaniards are only too glad to have them as
buffers. In fact, foreigners are required to attend townhall meetings here, and
even run for office.
Hi hill roberts- Feyma and I noticed that in the States, the PhilAm Club was also very cliqueish, and gossip and such was really rampant, so I understand where you are coming from. We didn't join that group, it just was not what we enjoyed.
Bob, I was in the States for 20 days and I can tell you I was rather surprised
how snobbish some of the Pinoys were to me when I was there. The supervisor
at Macy's, for example, was a Pinay, and I inquired about stocks and places to
go to: she glared at me, her eyes rolling, and carried on working. I think I also
said, this particular floor is shaking, like there's an earthquake. She ignored
me through and through…I am not and never will be judgmental, but if this is
the sort of "strange behaviour" I'd get from "some Pinoys", then sadly, the parting
of ways would be inevitable. By the way, the total population of Filipinos in this
country is 25,000 and many of them in this town have their own family businesses, live well, and yes, independent—they go about their ways, just
minding their own business. It's the South Americans who do the caregiving here
while other Pinoys work in the catering industry, in many upscale places as
supervisors or waiters/waitresses. When I first came here almost three decades
go, I could count in one hand the Chinese faces I'd bump into. Now, they are close to 300,000, and counting. Indeed, we are now approximately, 42 million inhabitants and growing. There's population boom among the South Americans.
the Chinese and Arab communities. The Health Care System in many larger
cities are now badly affected. Yes, belonging to a certain grouping is a natural
thing, but,officially,I wouldn't want to be a part of it It's nice to look from the outside
and enjoy…
Hi hill roberts- We have encountered Filipinos in the States who were very friendly, and others who were not. I think you get that no matter what group you are talking about. For instance, I find Americans here who are somewhat unfriendly too, so it happens.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!
Very informative article today. You are providing a very useful service to us all. I can see many of the things you speak of around me. I have not been able to see the whole picture until you have explained it.
Hi Tom Ramberg- Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family too. I'm glad that you found today's article useful and informative.
One important factor aside from the barkada, at least in business and government is the 'batch'. Losely applied this means the graduating class from a certain school. Students who are 'batchmates' tend to stay in touch forever and alot of job offers, business decisions and favorable/unfavorable treatment revolves around who was whose "batchmate"
Hi Dave- Very true. The batch kind of falls into the "Compadre Kinship System" which is the 7th of 8 tenets of SIR. We'll get more into that on a future article. Thanks for mentioning it!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family Bob. Nice article. I couldn't help but notice this " group " thing during my visits to The Philippines. True to your article, I am more acoustomed to doing things myself although when visiting another part of the world for the first time being with a group of people was most helpful.
Hi Bob New York- Thank you, Bob. I hope that you also had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Hi Bob ,
Very interesting article . It brings to mind a side issue i frequently encounter when riding jeepneys . If i am on a jeepney with plenty of open seating and a Filipino gets on why is it that instead of sitting where they might have plenty of open space they invariably will sit down right next to me ? 🙂
Maybe a reflection of the SIR mindset ?
Hi Alan- While I could be wrong on this, I would say that this is not part of the "In Group" culture of the Philippines. The way that I would explain this (which I have also witnessed) is that people in this part of the world do not have a sense of "personal space" like we westerners have. Because of this, they have no problem sitting right next to another person, while we westerners would choose a place to sit which is separated from the others on the jeepney, if such a place is available.
I disagree. Feudalism (warring with each other) is the basic nature of every Filipino; Aristocracy (acquired from centuries of Colonialism) is the basic component of Philippine society.
You are welcome to disagree, Andres.. but this is a basic tenet of Philippine Culture.
I think I understand what you mean by “basic tenet of Philippine culture”; however, the country–and its people–cannot move forward unless the people admits that it still has this enduring feudalistic mentality, that divides the country instead of bringing it together, due to a strict adherence to individualized provincial identity. In addition, over a century of Westernization, including working and living abroad, has made every Filipino feel that they are richly deserving of an aristocratic position, based on their foreign affiliations. It is a sad sad truth that Filipinos are only known as a race of people who looks up to other countries’ culture to adopt as their own, but refuses to acknowledge each other to try to come up with one on their own. This is why Filipinos are known worldwide as good imitators; they lack originality in all aspects of their life.