Arthur Miller wrote a play about Willy Loman an American salesman, yet I doubt if he’d ever ran into a salesman in the Philippines.
It’s a whole different game here. The guy or girl will show up at your gate, with a clipboard taking a survey about one thing or the other. Attempting to tell you it’s for your family’s personal safety. Here is the truth of it; they are there to sell you something. The other day I was sitting in the carport with my neighbor having a pleasant cocktail and discussing things of great importance.
Then there he was, a young man with a clip board wanting to check the dates on our LPG tanks. Explaining that his job was to mark them and cause the defective tanks to be removed from service. So not believing a word of his spiel, I pointed out that his task could be far easier accomplished by checking the tanks at the source, meaning the gas distributors. Mayang, seeing the young man sitting at our table, came out to investigate, and wanted to know what was up, I explained that he was trying to sell something, but wouldn’t say what. “Oh! No sir, I’m selling nothing, I’m just here to check tanks”. He protested.
My neighbor asked how I knew he was a salesman, I explained that if he was a government worker he be wearing a t-shirt and not a Barong Tagalog. Plus over the years I’ve sold encyclopedias and cars and a few other things including four years as a Navy Recruiter.
We wasted a little time with another cocktail, when Mayang came back out escorting the young man to the gate, and I asked again, what he was selling; it was a new type of high pressure gas hose. He looked at me, and wanted to know why we were not interested. I explained that he started off with a lie, and after that there was no way I could ever trust him or his product.
Years ago I had a similar situation, where they just wanted to test my water for impurities. Again I asked what the product that they were selling was, and again I was told the “just testing” lie. So I let them, I retrieved a beaker of water from my bottled water supply vice my well, and let them perform the voodoo science on it. They added some chemical, incanted some magic words, shook up the water and this brown gunk separated from the water, then they held it to me to point out what I’d been consuming. Who would have known that there would have been minerals in mineral water? When I took the beaker and drank it down and proclaimed that it was good, they started packing up their equipment and moving towards the gate.
Another time, I’m under the mango tree in my hammock reading a nice book, a slight knocking at the gate. There is a well dressed young man, with his young lady assistant. They are taking a survey on how many TV channels I receive up on the mountain here in Bataan. I told them that at the time I received about 58 channels. Now both spoke English very well, so why they launched into the sales pitch, I just could never figure out. They were selling an antenna booster, which would provide me better reception, a clearer picture and more channels. I then informed them that I had two satellite dishes clearly visible from where we were sitting, upon my roof. And they went on, about their product.
I provided them cold drinks, and let them go on. But two more times I informed them that I used Dream Satellite TV, and had no use for the product they were offering. Forty five minutes more of hard selling I told the guy to come with me, we went to my roof patio, and I asked if his product would work on that, as I pointed to my two satellite Dish’s. You guessed it; the hand popped straight to his head for a grand power scratch, and then he informed me it only worked on regular TV antennas’. I acted disappointed that I was one of the unfortunate people that could not benefit from their wonderful product. They departed with smiles and thanking me for my time. My wife came home from her mother’s house, and found me with a cold SMB, and my hand vigorously scratching my own head.
Selling something and getting someone to part with money is easy, selling a four year hitch in the Navy, totally a different thing. Son I want to take you away from Mom and Dad’s loving arms and send you to boot camp where will treat you like crap, pay you low wages, and send you to sea for 6 to 9 months at a time. Now if I could sell that, and I was a top producing recruiter. I’ll sell you a Lear Jet, if I can get the monthly payments within your price range.
After I took a year off work and laid on the beach in Puerto Rico, I decided I should return to that work a day world. So, next I sold encyclopedias in Europe, England, Scotland, Italy, and Germany. The reason I took that gig was because I could still live in Puerto Rico, and fly to work for a month, and when I’d made enough money, fly home, until I needed some more money. No time clock was involved. I did very well doing that, but I saw where computers would be the death of that product very soon.
When selling cars between Puerto Rico and going back to sea as a merchant seaman I sold Dodge cars, trucks and mini-vans.in St. Petersburg Florida I could not have made more money, if I’d used a gun. And I was the only salesman on the lot that was not a former convicted felon. Pop one sale a day, pick up between 4 to 8 hundred dollars and go to the beach.
But as much selling as I’ve done, I like being on the receiving end of the spiel or pitch, it’s fun to listen, and see if you know which way they’re going. But the odds on someone talking me into buying something, that I’d not planned on owning is very rare.
As the old adage states: “Let the buyer beware!” BTW: There is a nice toll road close to my house that I can let go for a very good price. We’ll just take a survey first, before I can let it go. Most items sold door to door are on a credit plan or as I like to call it: “A few peso’s down, and the chase is on.”
Paul: You have conjured up another literary JOOL!!
Thats right its sunday night I need to go to LIP and read a story from my favorite writer their name is pops or bob or sugar …. LOL !
Craig;
I can’t say I blame you, I enjoy reading them also. Mine not so much.
Roberto;
Maybe I could take this show on the road. (lol)
Hey Paul.
I’m not much of a salesman myself, but I can spot a line of BS a mile away.
My only real experience as a salesman was seling newspaper subscriptions as a teenager. Selling them was based on guilt…”if I can get X amount of suscriptions, I will never go to Disneyland, bla bla bla…”
Hudson;
I was first posted as a recruiter in Olando Florida, about 10 miles from the Mouse Factory (Disney World) On slow days I’d visit the park and talk to the workers about a better job, the best part was I got in for free and was allowed under the park that normanly we never see. By the way, did you ever sell enought subscriptions to make the trip?
I think yes. I grew up in OC, and Disneyland (Anaheim) was just a few miles down Harbor Blvd.
Hudson;
Behind the Orange curtain! Did they call it the mouse factory too?
I like your reads Paul, they give people a look at living in the RP that you don’t see here. Thanks for thinking out of the box or should I say off the ship!
Bill;
I feel that the everyday occurrences are always the most fun. I can sit out front on my wall and just watch odd things happen. This happened six months ago. I’m sitting with a cup of coffee. A 100 cc motor bike is coming down the hill. As it passed I notice it had the husband, the wife and one toddler and one infant onboard. That’s not that odd here in the Philippines, but the husband who was driving, was also texting on his cell phone. There is always something to write about.
Hi Paul T: Thanks for writing this article. I never would have thought that salesmen would pose as government safety employees (your “water quality people”). That’s downright fraudulent. Then again, it is another world.
Roselyn;
It’s just a sales ploy, but they don’t realize that it will make people angry when they are lied to. As we used to call it, “A foot in the door!”
Paul T.
Great post Paul. It was hillarious the way they were trying to sell you something. Another one is when the Mormons ride up in there bikes with there white shirts and ties and trying to sell you there belief’s. I would always get in a argument with them by questioning there religion. It was so funny, always made my day. Take care.
Fun read Paul…..as allways…..I think some of that kind of stuff gones on still here in the USA but most of this kind of stuff gones on over the Fone….credit card company’s and Fone Company’s and etc…..about a month ago for got to take Fone line out in evening and it rang..rang..I aswered it…..some guy on other end said…Hi I am from cable company and want to let you know about we have slashed our prices……I said..not interested…H e said you listen to me you are interested, because I said you are……I said you listen to this you…???????? and I slamed the phone down on his ear…….10 seconds later the Phone rang and it was this same guy…..he said do not do that again..( I thought you are the most stupid..xxx xx xxxxx…I have ever heard of in my life)……I said you listen to this again and slammed the phone down again…….and did the best thing..pulled the plug on the fone….so I quess if there were still door to door salesmen banging on the front door would have to slam the door in their face…that may sting a little…I think most door to door sales man have pretty well left that occupation here in the USA….Maybe some day those in the Philippines will learn its a poor paying type of employment…
Dan;
If I ever complaine on this website again about 12 years with no landline phone, please chrw my ear off. After reading your story I’m glad it’s just door to door, and they only show up every few months.
Paul, talk about lying salesmen, just this afternoon on Mother’s Day, my wife was down in Virginia at a tire store trying to get a replacement tire for a flat tire that is beyond patching. The salesman tried to get my wife to buy a new set of 4 tires instead, at a cost of close to a grand including balancing and alignment, because, acccording to the salesman, the other 3 tires needed replacement as well. (Not true,of course). I asked my wife to put me on the phone with the salesman, and told him, “Look, I understand and appreciate your trying to make a living, but I don’t appreciate your lying to a woman who doesn’t know anything about tires. Just sell her one tire because that’s all the car needs.” The sale was made for one tire, but somehowe I feel that we were still ripped off. The price quoted on the phone for 1 tire was $155; the final bill was $205, including balancing at $40, plus tax. I have never heard of a tire balance that costs 40 bucks, have you?
Ricardo;
Even here they balance for free when you purchase a tire, and later to re-balance it’s 100 pesos. $205.00 for one? That’s almost the cost of a set of Teflon tires I just bought.
Yep, $205 for one tire, and it wasn’t even the brand that I wanted. I wanted a matching Bridgestone but had to settle for a Continental because they didn’t have Bridgestone. This, from what is supposedly a national tire store. I couldn’t afford to shop around because I didn’t want my wife driving around down there in Virginia with a spare tire. I’ll pay them a visit when I’m down there to ask about their $40 charge to balance one tire.
Ricardo;
It sounds like they got you good, the lucky part is they can only do it once. The GoodYear tires I got here are the same as the one’s sold in the states. They are not made in Ohio anymore. So how can the selling price be so much different?
Check the inside of the tire to see if the weights were made of gold, instead of lead, that could explain the reason it cost $40.00. (lol)
Ricardo, Paul
Alot of businesses try to take advantage of women, due to a lack of knowledge of products. I know when i was married my wife took my carein for a complete brake job at a national company. They wanted $700.00. She called me and i about hit the roof. I said no way am i paying that much. So i then went to a shop recommended by a friend. It was a little over $300.00. I couldn’t believe the difference. Thats one thing i learned. It’s always good to have a mechanic you can trust.
Anyone that falls for anything for sale in this country deserves to be taken. Unfortunately the salespeople have absolutely no concept of what selling and salesmanship is. They are taught one approach and if that doesn’t work they try it again using the same approach. It’s like the real estate agent handing you a brochure and trying to sell you a house or condo by monthly payments instead of the bottom line selling price of the unit. First off they tell you how great a deal it is and then when you ask what the per sqm is they can’t tell you. When you ask them how much similar properties are selling in the area they can’t tell you. When you ask then how much is the actual property without financing they can’t tell you. Bottom line they can’t tell you anything because they actually don’t even know. True expertise. I laugh everytime. The term “Peter Principle” was actually coined after the typical Philippine employee.
Boon;
“I’ll sell you a Lear Jet, if I can get the monthly payments within your price range.”
They are not taught anything else as they are just greeters (their not salesmen) working in housing developments and condos here. It’s straight out of an American sales playbook. The monthly payment is all that has to be met to make a sale. Can I afford the monthly note, is what most people are interested in. But there is a few of us left that just want that bottom line price. Salesmen hate that.
HI Paul good article and It is not completely the same but my dad got three leters telling him he won a lotory. Three different lotos and all he had to do to colect was send the smallest fee of 19.95 for paper work to receve his money. Can you beleve he refused and we will never know if he won or not (darn). A scam is a scam the world over anyway to take you for some green backs,and like you I hate being lied to. Take care and enjoy the SMB
Eric;
Here they send you text messages saying how much you won, when my wife received her first one, she was very excited. I asked her when she signed up for that prize. She didn’t, I explained the scam to her, they send out 1000 text, hope 10 replies, and scam one person and they made money.
Paul,
I think my wife was taken by the LPG guy! She called the other day and said a man came by the house and said her line from the tank to the stove was leaking. She gave over the money and now we have a new hose with a pressure gage on it! How wonderful! I was not there at the time so I am not sure how his sales pitch started but it ended pretty well for him! I do know she stated he had come to “inspect the line and tank.”
Steve;
That sounds like it, they play on her fear. “This could cause a fire while your sleeping.” I taught my wife the dish-washing soap trick to check gas lines. “Mahal, if it bubbles, shut off the gas and get out of the house!” I explained that before any salesman, as it was just something she needed to know.
Before the government mandated ” Do Not Call ” list was established for eliminating or minimising calls from telephone solicitors, I used to get a lot of calls selling just about anything. I always told the callers about my ” Uncle Louie ” .
I got a call one evening from a place wanting to sell and deliver groceries to me. I responded that if I bought groceries from them, Uncle Louie would be very upset with me and I could not let that happen. When they asked about Uncle Louie, I told them ” my Uncle Louie ” owns the local supermarket and I buy all of my grocery items there.
Uncle Louie owned just about any kind of business and sold any kind of product the telephone solicitors wanted to sell me.
Nice article Paul, always a good read !
Bob;
Not having lived in the states since the 70’s (and two years in the early 90’s), I’ve had no experience with that “Do Not Call” list, my brothers told me it was a poor fix at best. But when you have “Uncle Louie” in your corner, that sounds like the right ticket to me!
hi paul,
having started out in field sales way back when, every time those foot-in-the-door scammers ask for my time and try to pass themselves off as professional salesmen, i make sure to give them a lesson or two, especially on integrity.
it’s bad enough that there aren’t enough jobs in the local economy and to see folks desperate enough to hoodwink other people into buying something they clearly don’t need or want, it really makes me sad knowing they got their training from training outfits that are just as unethical.
Biz Doc;
There will always be one person, scamming another. It’s been that way from the beginning and will be that way at the end of days. It’s one of the reasons that communism failed, and governments are corrupt. Greed mixed in with unethical people, is the perfect storm for a scam. But it’s funny that you can’t scam an honest man.
Paul
How about them fancy water filter salesmen, the tactic that pisses me off is when they try to GILT you into buying their filters by saying stuff like “you do care about the toxins your family is drinking in the water dont you”
Or what is the deal with the pretty Filipina’s in Las Vegas that are positioned at the entrance to the Casino’s that run up to you and say “excuse me sir I have some free gifts for you”
Neal;
Everyone knows you can’t let those toxins into your house, I’m talking about salesmen! (lol)
The cute girl with the prize, Time Shares? The something outside of the Race Track in Puerto Rico, only the hottest Latina in a short skirt would be the barker for the prize. I hired one of them as a bartender at my club, and she still worked the track during the day.
Hi Paul – OMG! They’re still at it? He he…two years ago, some LPG guy came to the house.. and the same exact thing you mentioned happened. We asked for ID and if he works for the Barangay but couldn’t produce one. Anyway, the guy was selling a hose. Ha ha. Another thing, ages ago, some ladies rang doorbell and waned to know how many children living in the house and if they ‘re into books.. I’m like ah, we have enough Lexicons and Brittanica.. we don’t even use them anymore. He he. With the cable dish.. I’ve experienced that but only through phone. Wanted to know if we’re interested.. meanwhile I’m puzzled how’d they got home number..yikes.
Hi Sugar;
All they have to do is just keep dialing 7 numbers until someone answers the phone, or buy a list from the phone company. Remember they will tell you any lie to get the foot in the door.
(I sold Lexicons books, they make great door stoppers.)
Hi Paul
I have a standard spiel for salesmen. I look at them and smile, let them go on for ten minutes, then I say slowly – “No unperstand engrish.”
Allan;
I use that here, but the last word is “Tagalog”. (lol) A lot of people will tell you, that it’s helpful living here, if you learn the local language. But sometimes it’s just as good not to.
Paul enjoyed the article. I always enjoy it when a sales person is doing what it is they do and they don’t really know anythink about the product. (Like your antenna booster). Hey if you think being a Navy Recruiter is fun try and sell the Marine Corps for six years. (kept getting those involuntary extensions.) Ron
Ron;
My best friend was the Marine Recruiter in Coco Beach Florida, we worked out of the Federal Building on Brevard Ave. We were in the mall, when this dirt bag said to the Gunny, “There is no way I’d ever join the Marines!” Gunny smiled and said; “Myself and the Corps, thank you!” Then we went and had a beer.
Paul
I would drink to that too hahahah!
Papa Duck;
Believe me when I tell you, we did!
That’s funny Paul! We had the same LPG inspector the last time we’re in Gensan. As soon as they entered the gate (ok, it’s avery small property but with a gate), I can spot that they’re salespeople though they denied it vehemently and claimed they’re DTI representatives. Anyway, we ended up buying since my sister wanted one and I just decided, oh well, helping Philippine economy in a way. 🙂
Lea;
It happens to a lot of us, just a funny part of living in paradise. But if you feel safe, it was worth it.
Hey Paul, can you help me work up the numbers for that Learjet?
Gary;
Do you want the extended warranty and the deluxe undercoating? Have the check book ready!
It’s a Learjet, of course I want ’em. I just need to check with GES first, make sure that baby’s got a home.
I don’t think we’ve ever had a door to door salesperson inside our place. Unless the person is known and/or expected, they are instructed by our helper to wait outside the gate. I have no idea how long it takes before they move on.
Gary;
I’m the odd guy that just has to hear their sales pitch, I’m not a well man!
Paul, you can’t walk into any store anymore without hearing the sales pitch. I get my car serviced regularly at Jiffy Lube, expecting to pay no more than $50 (SUV) for oil change, sometimes more if the air filter and wiper blades are changed and that’s basically it. So I’m sitting in the lobby reading Motor Trend, and this pretty blonde cashier calls me and shows me the computer monitor. With a pretty smile, showing perfect teeth and dimples, she goes over with me what is being done and what needs to be done to my car. She doesn’t mention the windows are being washed and floors being vacuumed as a courtesy. I hold my breath for what’s coming next. The car, she says with more smile, is due for a radiator flush, transmission service, front differential service, tire rotation, and other services she mentioned, but I’ve already stopped listening. Now, maybe my car doesn’t need some of those services she’s recommending, and may be it does. But my question is, why do they always have a pretty, smiling blonde behind the cash register?
Ricardo;
I’m getting old, I remember the first Jiffy Lube, I saw in San Diego in 1980. It was ten bucks for Oil and a lube. The reason the girl is a knockout is simple, sell, sell, sell. And if it’s going to hurt we want to hear it from a stunner. It just goes down easier, and men like to act like the big spender around them. Most guy’s forget the first rule. “Ya have no chance in hell to go out with her, so decline the offer of the extra stuff for the car.” It’s not easy, but with practice we can do it.
Hi Ricardo/Paul: Ha ha ha, they know me at Jiffy Lube already. As soon as they invite me, I said: What did I came here for? They said oil change, then I said ok, that’s all you do. the dealer does the rest!
Every weekend in Virginia, I’m always in my rugged jeans and shirt working outside and roofers, siding and window sales people go by the dozen–I tell them I’m only the gardener and the owner is in Florida. Come back next summer!
If the Jehovah’s Witness guys tries to asked me to be Jehovah’s Witness, I just tell them “I can’t. I didn’t see the accident!” (Joke).
Hey Mars, the Jiffy Lube I go to in Rehoboth is one of a kind, not like the Jiffy Lube I used to go to when we lived in Kingstowne, Alexandria, you know, the one on Van Dorn street near the Red Lobster. The technicians there play around around too much, bopping their heads to rap music and all. One time they left a screw driver and a pair of pliers under the hood, I threw them out. The Rehoboth guys are very professional. They work as a team, with each man performing his assigned task without yapping. I like that. They program your car’s service profile on their computer at 3,000 or 5,000 mile intervals between service depending on the age of your car, that’s why you got the invite on the mail. You back, or are you posting from Panay?
Ricardo, Mars, Paul
I know what you mean about trying to sell you extra service. I just blow them off except when i actually do need the service every few years. When i do need it, i usually get it done when i get my oil changed. I’ll tell them if i get a radiator flush or any other service will you give me a free oil change. Works everytime. Thats how they make all there money, selling all the extra services. They really get you on on the air filter/wiper blade prices too.
Papa Duck;
I want to meet the guy who can’t change an air filter.
Hi Paul.
As an ex encyclopedia salesman, I though you may like to hear about and Ad seen in an UK newspaper. ‘For sale by owner, full set of Encyclopedia Brittanica. Not needed anymore as am now married and the wife knows everything.’
Marjorie;
I’ll wager the ad will be running for quite a long time, or as long as he’s running if his wife read the ad.
hello paul,i,m in ozamis now but was in iligan last year. agter slipping on about for or five smb’s i was ready for two young men that claimed they were for manila selling am elect. box that just pluged in to the wall socket..and would cut my elect.bill by 50%,they even had am meter to show me the reading before and after they pluged in the box.I acted like i was very instrested[being i have wired many homes in usa. i evened opened up the fuse box,i had my rubber handled screw driver and struck in in the fuse box and sparks were flying ..i let out am yell and set on floor and told my wife “water .water” The two young men did not even tell me good by, he he ha
Franklin;
I’ve met that item for sale a time or two, I was lucky, both times we came we were on a brownout, and I told them that I didn’t trust my generator not to burn up their equipment. But I like your way also!
Senior:
The only thing I would be interested in from dooor to door saleman is a new type of beverage. And even them I would ask for free samplesssss.
Paul you know what motivation is? Wrong! Motivation is getting your but up and fixing your daughters car. When you see her driving off in your truck to go to work and what else they do before they get home and don’t tell you. Know one drives my truck but me and my wife on occasions just to prove to me that she can. 🙁
Mike;
Then you need a salesman to sell your daughter a new car. Since my daughter got their new car, they don’t bother me anymore.
Senior;
She pratically has a new used car damn near rebuilt the thing. No I need a salesman to sell me some piece of mind. Is there any such product out there I wonder? Can’t wait to pop a cold SMB on the beach and have a good BULL%^IT session with some friends any takers?
Mike;
I’ll put on my old salesman hat, and sell you on the wonders of SMB, on a warm tropical day, while over looking the shores of Subic Bay. Best I can do, Shipmate!
Wow, it was nice reading your stories. Hope there’ll be a chance wherein I can chat with you and your wife in person.
Andrea Fe Padilla
Tupa Clothing
09275909121
Andrea;
Where is your business located? Mayang loves to shop!