I was reading on my kindle and looking at the cover of the book. I thought it’s about a dog. I guess it was really about the dog too, because the dog was helping them heal from heartache. Then when I started reading, it’s also about the kids who will be losing their dad. He was charged with (DUI) driving under the influence. It’s already his 4th felony. He will be sentenced to jail for 6 months. The kids, who are age 7 and 5, had no place to stay so they will be put to foster care. It used to be that the aunt took care of them when the dad was sent to jail from his previous felonies. She was just tired of him putting the alcohol first over his kids. So she told the brother that if he won’t straighten up that she will not take care of the kids anymore. So at the end it’s really the kids that got the raw deal. They don’t have anybody then at the end. Can you imagine a 7 year old taking care of himself and his younger sibling? Luckily a stranger with a dog went to the shop of the dad to have his motor home be fixed. The dad saw that the guy was nice. The stranger was a teacher. So he asked the stranger to take care of his kids for a few months. He did and it was not an easy decision for the stranger since he also had some problems to take care of himself. He just lost his son from drunk driver.
So it dawned on me, what if the situation would have been here in the Philippines, like the one I was describing on top. Would the family turn away those kids? In my mind I don’t think so, but who knows. If the family also would give a lesson to the father to not put the alcohol first over his kids. I was thinking with so many extended families here, I’m pretty sure one of the families will definitely take care of those kids. Or even the neighbors would probably offer to help out. I’m sure in America the neighbors will offer to help out too, but they’re also busy working and busy with their own lives. So really the kids there will be easily put to foster care. Here in the Philippines if nobody will take care of the kids, they could easily end up begging on the street. It’s really a pretty sad situation in both countries.
I’m not giving other example. I will give some members of my family as an example. One of my family was just so irresponsible with his wife and kids way back when I was younger. Of course the close family of the wife steps-in and took care of almost all their kids. It was hard for the parents of the wife watching their daughter being abused by their son-in-law. Let me tell you, it’s really hard to all of the family watching their sister being abuse by her husband. The brothers of the wife really wants to strangle the husband when his drunk. But the parents of the wife always said that it’s going to be the decision of the wife. All of the family were really hoping that she will leave the guy and go somewhere. But I think it show that love is blind. 🙂 Some of my cousins really just wants to take care of him, I think you got the idea of what I meant by taking care. But it would never happened, because the parents of the lady, they would not allow the cousins be criminal. Later, when the kids of abusive guy and his wife got older. I think her husband got scared with the kids already. One of the kids that was raised by the parents of the wife and the other male kid threatens their dad that if he will be abusing their mom again that they will kill him. I think the husband got the message. He’s now a calm guy and just follow what his kids told him to do.
Another unending cycle not just the Philippines I guess but the world. I’ve seen too many people killed by drunk drivers. It’s just sad for the victims of the drunk driver and the people that they left behind especially the kids. I hope when those people drink they’re avoiding being behind on the wheels. Bob sister was one of the victim, she was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. It was hard on Bob for so many years. The pain was there still until now.
Guys I’m not anti drinking or anything. It’s individuals choice or in other words to each his own. Just make sure you’re not hurting others at the end. Just drink moderately or have somebody drive for you or take a taxi!
Cheers!
Feyma, there is responsible drinking, and then there is excessive inebriation Pinoy-style.
I drink. I’m on my 4th glass of tuba over the last 12 hours. Need to drink _something_ besides water!
I could however easily pass a North-American “breathalizer” test this moment, though I have zero inclination to drive or otherwise assault anyone. Maybe I’ll have one “shot” of something “hard” before nap-time, and maybe not. Then again, I’m a “foreigner”, preferring to avoid Pinoy-style “obligations” for way-excessive intoxication.
I have also personallly paid in excess of 7 digits of pesos to rescue family members and related from the repercussions of *their* excessive drinking. I’m not exactly sure why it’s *my* responsibility for *their* stupidity, other than by marriage and ‘puso’.
As for their kids, well, that’s ultimately part of those 7 digits and ongoing, respecting extended family.
Even if random unknown kids squalling unattended on the street, if it was clear that no one else cares I would surely take them in and call the local authorities. Who would not?
Hi Ed – Both countries really had so many excessive drinkers. Only thing even the really poor guy here gets drunk quite often from a freebie from a friend or utang (owe from the sari-sari store, promise to pay later, even with no income).
Lucky for me and Bob we’ve never ask by my family for any drinks like San Mig, Emperador, Fundador and others. I guess they know that Bob don’t drink. Thank God for that.
I wish the government here will do something with the less fortunate kids here. It’s just so heartbreaking seeing kids here begging or stealing to help out the parents.
Enjoy drinking your coconut wine. Cheers!
Thanks Feyma. I indeed do enjoy my coconut “wine”, since I do need to drink something other than water, and excessively sugary “soft-drinks” are a prescription to death which I eschew to excess. Sipping (and I mean SIPPING!) a little tuba at home is relatively innocuous, better fitting my current budget and desire than now-expensive beer or worse.
Back on the topic you raised: Our first few grocery trips when we moved to Mindanao magically included way-over-budget *cases* of “hard” at the insistence of my wife. I would have bought a couple of bottles for everyone, but she insisted on numerous *cases* of bottles for ongoing”celebrations”. The wife obviously “knows everything”, the husband needs to just pay for it, and then pay and pay and pay. The (Pinay) wife, after ignoring all timely cautions, eventually mentions that she’s learning now, but way late after the damage is long done and the money to pay for all that damage is way long gone.
3 years later … I may buy an occasional bottle to be hospitable, but my “bayaw” (in-laws) and their still-surviving extended-family now mostly decline. That’s of course after several *million* pesos of my “retirement capital” down the medical and legal drains for *them* until my wife realized she didn’t do anyone any favors and now life is much harder for our own family than it should have been.
I totally agree with this “drunk and driving”.
I have seen it many times here and i guess a lot i don’t see.
When there is a party at our family, it can be that someone will drive home, even i know they had to much.
If this was happened back in Denmark, i would stop it and take the keys – give money to a taxi or let the person stay overnight.
I have tried to argument about it here, but it’s just receive with a smile – and a “i’m not drunk”.
i don’t care much about what can happen to the driver, but i care for the innocent that may be hurt or killed.
learned my lesson when i was 17, had a few beers, but had an accident – only material damage, but since then i have never been driving if i have had something to drink.
I have a friend that have killed by drunk driving, and a friend being killed by a drunk driver.
People can drink as much as they want, ok with me, but not drive. I like to drink to partys, have fun – but….no driving.
Hi Axel – Yep, it’s okay to drink but just not drive. It’s better to just get in a taxi than driving.
*** If this was happened back in Denmark, i would stop it and take the keys – give money to a taxi or let the person stay overnight. *** — Same in the USA. But I know people will argue that they’re not drunk yet, so they think they can still drive. Which is totally wrong.
*** i don’t care much about what can happen to the driver, but i care for the innocent that may be hurt or killed. *** — Totally…
*** learned my lesson when i was 17, had a few beers, but had an accident – only material damage, but since then i have never been driving if i have had something to drink. *** — Good thinking…
*** I have a friend that have killed by drunk driving, and a friend being killed by a drunk driver. *** — It’s really hard seeing a family struggle to overcome the heartache of losing a member of the family by careless drunk driver. I’ve seen the the hardship of the most special person in my heart, struggles for so many years for losing his younger sister.
*** I like to drink to partys, have fun – but….no driving. *** — Good for you.
Take care!
Hi Feyma – What are the laws in the Philippines on drink driving?. I don’t own transport or drink that much, so I’m safe either way.
Hi Brenton – When caught, person will be put to jail. But I think for not long. Problem here not a lot of breathalyzer at the police station. Most felons I think will let go in just hours being detained at the police station. Not really sure though.
Lucky for us Bob’s not drinking, so definitely no problem for us… Our nephew used to drive for our kids to school. Whenever we had special celebration here at the house and he drink just a bottle or two of San Mig, then he’s not allowed to be driving then. He will just stay home and rest.
Cheers!
While I can’t answer on behalf of Feyma, the “laws” (as they *effectively* are) in the Philippines depend on your location, your acumen, your accuser, and your cash-on-hand (though be VERY careful on that, there are honest cops, especially in the provinces!).
You can be blind drunk and get away, or you can have zero alcohol and be held up to dry. Don’t tempt fate.
Best choice is zero. Let someone else drive!
Straight answer – apply what would happen to you “back home” and remember where you are now.
Well written Thank you.
Thank you so much Luke. I’m glad you like my post!
Cheers!!!
Feyma;
In San Francisco in a rental car, my friend who had just that day been released from one week in jail for DUI was with me. The bar we were in was owned by a friend who came over and asked if I was driving, I said yes and knowing what they wanted handed over my keys. The car would be well cared for and it was only a $15.00 cab ride back to our hotel. My friend got very angry and said he would have driven us back. I asked how much it had cost for his lawyer, lost wages and fines for his last DUI? Then I asked if he had met someone in jail that he wanted to get back there to see? We took the cab.
People can be very dumb when drinking.
Hi Paul – Good thing you’re there.Your friend could have end up again in jail. Your wise enough to tell him that it’s cheaper to pay the cab than his lawyer. Geez, it’s just shows his brain was already clouded by something else.
Good for you to tell him off.
Always good to see you here Paul. Have a great day!
Mrs Feyma,
People just need to be more responsible, especially when they have young children and than leave them with a stranger you really don’t know. I can’t fathom that. When i was working in the jail i saw so many drunk drivers that could barely walk, let alone drive. All i could do is shake my head.
Hi PapaDuck – Yep, totally. Most of those that drink and drive, they will even denied that they were drinking more than the limit. They will argue that they’re so okay to drive. It’s just so irresponsible.
Thank you for stopping by. Nice to see you here again.
Take care!
Hi Feyma
Very interesting topic. Unfortunately only the social or recreational drinkers have that choice of deciding how much to drink. A lot of drinkers do suffer from the sickness of alcoholism and crave for alcohol .In most western countries they do have a good support net in helping them to combat their sickness, but not to sure if such services are widespread in the philippines.
David, with all due respect, in my years living in a ‘gated villlage” in a prior lifetime, i literally couldn’t have made it around the block without coming home either totally disrespectful or totally inebriated.
Now we live in the middle of nowhere (not gated) with my wife and soon our 5th baby Still, should I go up into the forbidden mountains, it would be totally inappropriate to refuse all the “shot lang” calls.
That may well be the difference of being accepted or being held for ransom, but of course one is expected to carry on an appropriate conversation in the local vernacular. 🙂
Hi David – I think in big cities or just in Manila only they have AA support group meetings. Not sure here in the province if they have AA though, maybe they might just have similar like that. Not sure really though. Maybe will ask the rehab center here if they can tell us if they know of any groups like similar to AA here.
Thanks for dropping by. Have a good one!
It’s a good article that needed to be addressed. Salamat Feyma.
Thank you so much Gerry. Take care!
When Alcohol affects your normal thinking it time to stop. I sometimes have a single beer with a sunday lunch and thats it for me.
Hi William – *** When Alcohol affects your normal thinking it time to stop. *** — I totally agree with you.
*** I sometimes have a single beer with a sunday lunch and thats it for me. *** — Hey, enjoy your Sunday lunch…
Have a wonderful day!
I gave up alcohol in 1966
except when the Boys come a visiting Bill
Are you an Alcoholic?? This link takes you to 20 questions to find out…
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
Feyma,
You’re article moved me emotionally. It is the reason I’ve never drank in my life. The biggest reason is FEAR. Fear of the drug affecting me in a manner that could not only hurt myself, but hurt others, as well. One of my biggest pet peeves about people who cheat on a spouse or kill someone as a result of drunkenness is, “I’m sorry! I was drunk. I didn’t mean it.”
Well……you were sober when you chose to put the bottle to your mouth. I understand in some cases it’s a disease. While I do feel for these people I feel more for the victims. It’s not the alcohol I have a problem with. I think as you said people need to know their limitations and be responsible.
I’ve also seen all too often so called friends sit and watch the person go down that path. They should stop encouraging to “have another” rather than say enough is enough – take that person’s car keys and make sure everyone gets home safe.
One other thing…..I’ve read some studies that many kids are on the streets because of an abusive parent or drunkenness. I wish I had a dollar for every time I drove by a pub in the U.S. and a small child was sitting on the steps waiting for Dad or Mom to come out.
Great article Feyma!
Bill