Oh Paul you’re like some old man that just complains for the sake of complaining. But here’s the truth of it all. I told you about my Computer Hell and my Terra Byte external drive needing to be replaced. I was in error. The drive is fine, and my new one is even better. It was my Puter that was the guilty party. Or maybe it was the operator?
Marlon my former Puter Guy, never showed up to my house, it was one reason after another as to why he could not make it. My daughter Yhen (Ymir Thea) had brought him my external drive and he had it in the trunk of his car and had formatted it and advised me to buy the new one. My daughter got a tad angry and called her old schoolmate who is a Puter Guy to come to the house and take a look at my problem.
The day before that over cocktails, my friend Tommy was dogging me to buy a new Puter as mine was well past its prime. So the next day I’m at the Enigma Computer Store in Olongapo with Peso’s in my pocket and ready to buy a new CPU. Being frugal or should I say cheap I figured that the rest of my equipment was still good albeit old and still more than useable. The speakers on my Puter I bought in 1996 and they still work great so why would I replace them.
I walked into the Enigma Store and asked the guy; “Was there a mystery as to why they named their store enigma?” That went over their head like a Scud Rocket, but I thought it was funny. I told him what I needed or as close as my puter knowledge would allow me to. I explained that I just wanted it to be faster than my old one. He went off explain RAM and bits and bytes and processers and stuff I’d never heard of when I raised my hand and asked; “Will it be faster?” he responded; “Yes sir!” Hey, good enough for me. The one thing I did understand was that my new hard drive was 500 GB’s and he was going to add my old 380 GB hard drive as a mirror. You have never seen my hand go as fast to my head for a serious power scratch. What was the man talking about?
Back on the mountain, my new Puter guy Joel comes by to install and move my old files to my new CPU and put me online. Did I ever tell you that I’m resistant to change? Nothing is like it was last week; I can’t find anything and have no idea what I’m doing. There is nothing new about that. It’s the little things that frustrate me, like I can’t find the web site that I’ve used for the last 2 years to post to Lip these rambling stories I bore you with. (Bob, an e-mail please)
Here is an example of what I’ve gone through, a simple thing like WORD and Excel it was not on my new puter. Here it was Friday and I have to send this to Bob on Saturday and I have no way to write it except longhand and scan it in to the puter and e-mail it?
So it was Joel my new Puter guy who arrived at my house Friday night and installed an Office program. Now it’s Saturday morning and it’s due to Bob and I’m just a huntin’ and a peckin’ away at the keyboard. Now I’ll go online and try to locate Word Press so I can sent this! Do you feel my pain?
Yes Paul, I feel your pain. When I get back I’ll need your new putor guy to visit me. I heard through the grape vine that this experiance may have driven you to drink.
Glad that it finally all worked itself out, Paul. The more computers help us, the more they challenge us!
Hi Senior, I know you claimed you knew little about computers but at least you didn’t call Tech Support like this story below. So from those forwarded email file vault, here it is:
_________________
Tech Support:
This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for ‘Termination without Cause.’
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: ‘Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?’
Caller: ‘Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.’
Operator: ‘What sort of trouble??’
Caller: ‘Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.’
Operator: ‘Went away?’
Caller: ‘They disappeared’
Operator: ‘Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?’
Caller: ‘Nothing.’
Operator: ‘Nothing??’
Caller: ‘It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.’
Operator: ‘Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?’
Caller: ‘How do I tell?’
Operator: ‘Can you see the ‘C: prompt’ on the screen?’
Caller: ‘What’s a sea-prompt?’
Operator: ‘Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?’
Caller: ‘There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.’
Operator: ‘Does your monitor have a power indicator??’
Caller: ‘What’s a monitor?’
Operator: ‘It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?’
Caller: ‘I don’t know.’
Operator: ‘Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??’
Caller: ‘Yes, I think so.’
Operator: ‘Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: ‘Yes, it is.’
Operator: ‘When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? ‘
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.’
Caller: ‘Okay, here it is.’
Operator: ‘Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.’
Caller: ‘I can’t reach.’
Operator: ‘OK. Well, can you see if it is?’
Caller: ‘No.’
Operator: ‘Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?’
Caller: ‘Well, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.’
Operator: ‘Dark?’
Caller: ‘Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.’
Operator: ‘Well, turn on the office light then.’
Caller: ‘I can’t.’
Operator: ‘No? Why not?’
Caller: ‘Because there’s a power failure.’
Operator: ‘A power …. A power failure? Aha. Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?’
Caller: ‘Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.’
Operator: ‘Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.’
Caller: ‘Really? Is it that bad?’
Operator: ‘Yes, I’m afraid it is.’
Caller: ‘Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?’
Operator: ‘Tell them you’re too damned stupid to own a computer!’
Ha ha ha, Senior, this caller made you sound like a genius.
Mars
Hahaha Marz, can’t stop laughing at this. BTW, it seems like it’s from way back because nobody’s using WordPerfect anymore. I agree, the agent should’ve been promoted hahahahah
Yep Jonathan, probably from way back. Heck, I’ll make that guy a site Supervisor!
Regards there in ME,
Mars
I bet his first question from now on is “do you currently have electricity?”
Hi Paul – To cut a long story even shorter, I’m glad your back at your editorial best now your up and running again.
In future only use you computer when writing on here so you continue to keep us amused. At all other time just switch it off hahaha!
Kind regards.
Jim.
Paul,
It sounds like your new puter guy is worth keeping. A few more SMG’s and you’ll be fine. Great read.
Greg in RI
Paul,
Sure glad your back on line! This is like reading the Sunday comics! How would I ever start the week with out a Monday morning post from you?
Steve;
After I posted this than Bob had all his problems, Monday kinda disappeared. But Bob and I are both back now!
And happy to be so, Paul!
Senior;
Amen to the frustration of change. I feel your pain. Every time the Sheriff’s office fixes our computers they lose all our files and with a new up grade your left scratching your head. But I’m glad your back on line.
Remember the world is changing so fast it’s leaving us behind.
Bruce;
I’m not so sure that the world is leaving us behind, living here I feel that I’ve left that other world behind. It feels good!
Senior,
Amen to that!!! But technology is moving so fast I can’t keep up with it. LOL
Oh by the way Wife got her dual citizenship Sunday and Passport. All the legal stuff is done except my visa. So now all I have to do is retire. And I’ll join you in leaving that other world behind. That’s a load off the old mind..
Plan on drinking some SMB”S in Oct with me just bought our tickets. Be in PI 8Oct To 29 Oct. Vacation here I come.
Bruce;
Looking forward to having those beers. I have to go next week to renew my I-Card in Manila. That’s worth a LiP story!
Bruce,
I know what you mean about the computers at the Sheriff’s office. It seems like everytime they upgrade them they get worse and slower. Now they have a new policy about what sites we can get on the internet with the department computers. It looks like you’ll be in the Philippines part of the time i’ll be there. I’ll be leaving on the 19th of Oct till 4th of Nov. If you don’t mind my asking how much were your plane tickets? I got a pretty good price, $1289.00. Leaving Tampa, going through NYC and Bejing on Air China. Maybe i’ll see you there along with Paul. Be safe.
Paul,
Glad to see you got your Computer problems straightened out. Hope your new puter guy works out. Sometimes change is for the better. Now all you need to worry about is how many SMB’s you will have to drink everyday. Looking forward to your next story on your trip to Manila. Always some good stories from Manila. Take care.
PapaDuck;
I’m going to Manila with a positive attitude this time. I will try to get something good from the trip. If you read about a Kano going postal, well you’ll know the trip didn’t go well!