Albeit as I get older it happens more than I care to admit, s senior moment, it slipped my mind or the old Navy term “Major Brain fart” But here I was on Saturday morning ready to send an article to Fearless Leader Bob, and when I opened my LiP Pending folder a blank page was staring me in the eye, I had nothing, zilch, Zippo, nada, wala. Need I go on? So I sneak over to the LiP Submitted folder and there were some 300 plus that had been sent in over the years but no new ones. Oh my!
I won’t lie and tell you that the thought didn’t cross my mind to pick an old one and try to sneak it by. But then I also knew that some eagle eye LiP reader would see through my ruse. Plus I have my own integrity to myself to live up to. Then there is the fact that if my grandkids ever found out, I’d have to bear the shame of that. But is it plagiary if you steal your own stuff?
But back to the burning question as to; “How did this happen in the first place? Because there has been Birthday Parties, regular lunch appointments, and many other day to day distractions but that’s just me justifying kicking sand over the original problem. I, in simple English plain ass forgot. But in my defense, I am retired! But here I am behind the eight ball trying to cobble something together to pull my fat from the fire. I know Bob Martin, will shrug his shoulder, power scratch his head, and wonder why the incoming “Word Press” bin is empty. I have no good reason, but I’ll send an e-mail (Non-classified) and try to explain that Sunday will be a better day.
Sir Bob requires 500 plus words in each article we submit, and I’m just over the half way mark. So anything I write after this will be dribble I’m trying to fill the page with….
My friends and I were trying to find a venue to watch the Super Bowl Monday morning, our requirements are simple, a TV, breakfast plus beer and boat drinks. See our needs are basic! Group Leader Tommy pointed out the Wild Orchid Beach Resort on Baloy Beach in the Philippines (Did you notice how I slipped that in there to make the story relevant to the LiP “Philippine “requirements?) so that location also met the requirements and a solid plan was on. So Colorado and North Carolina will meet at the Fifty Yard Line and with a coin toss the game will commence. I do understand that with democratic caucus that coin toss is how they think the game should end.
I will sit with a boat drink in hand, and ponder if it is legal to have a Super Bowl without New England there? But since our friend Loren Pogue (AKA Big “P”) is from Colorado! And the only person I know in North Carolina is my Ex-wife I’ll instantly be a Colorado fan vice anything the pundits say.
Now for the complete disclosure, due to the strong family values of this site the real name of this article is “Shit Happens” And I’ve well exceeded the 500 word minimum! (Oh Joy!!!)
Shit Happens as a
Universal religious concept:
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, take hostages.
Buddhism: If shit happens is it really shit?
Protestantism: Shit happens if you work hard.
Catholicism: Shit Happens, I deserve it.
Adventist: shit happens on Saturday.
Mormonism: Knock Knock, Shit Happens.
Judaism: Why does shit happen to me?
Krishnaism: Shit happens, ring a dingy ding.
Witness: People now living will see shit happen.
Paganism: Each shit has its own name.
Atheism: Bullshit!
TV Evangelism: Send more shit.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.
(652 words in all, Bob)
Bo I’m heading out the door to the Barrio right now to watch Super Bowl “50”, I’ll see you all tomorrow as a power nap will be required this afternoon after the game.
LOL, Best. Article. Ever. That is all.
OpaoPhil;
Nothing I can say to that but thanks!
Great “shit’s and giggles” article, Paul!
Danl
It’s the giggling that I don’t remember!
Good morning to you there in DinBat, Mr. Paul T.
No. It is not legal to have a Super Bowl without New England! Peyton Manning? I don’t know her. ?
Jose;
I was there but sleeping through most of it.
Mr. PaulT. I reached that age that I now suffer from that sickness called “C.R. S.” (can’t remember shit) 🙂
Jose;
It’s a common ailment in the Philippines, exasperated by beer.
Spend the night at Wild Orchid a couple of weeks ago when my wife was in town for her school reunion. I liked the restobar a lot.
Doug;
I would recommend it to most folks, the food is very good.
Roll that shit. Gotta have that shit.
Cornell;
Just don’t bogat it…..
I watched the Super Bowl at the house on AFN. Breakfast was some cold pizza from last night and some cold beer. Nothing like popping that first cold one at 8 am. Now it’s time for a nap.
Gary;
I didn’t apply for AFN as the commercials drive me nuts as they are the same as 40 years ago.(lol)
I think that the commercials actually got worse.
GaryM;
I like the history part of AFN commercials, like which military people lost their career for misuse of classified e-mails, and which politicians didn’t? Quite informative.
Now you will have to schedule a trip to
Dempsey’s to pick up your football pool money.
Loren;
We called them from the Barrio, I got home at 1600 as we stopped at Subic for awhile.
For those of you, like me, who are not discharged seamen, the link below lets you know what boat drinks are…….
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Boat+Drink
Tagay
AJ UK
AJ UK;
1979 Jimmy Buffett’s song Boat Drinks will always be the only answer, the other people’s answer is pure bunk. (lol)
Ah, now I see what you mean!!
http://youtu.be/AjPUiXWFtB4
AJ UK;
I had to go where it’s warm!
Bushism: Shit happens. I can’t believe he said that. He actually said stuff happens. How heartless. However, he’s a good boy. He has his Mama with him and she said so.
If Bob pays you 1 pesos per word over your 300 articles what will Bob owe you? Come on Bob pay up.
Rusty;
If Bob paid me what they were worth, I’d owe him money.
Well, that SB wins the most boring game ever. I love defense, but….damn! I watched the Pats beat K.C. in the playoffs and since K.C. couldn’t get out of their own way that night, I was hoping the Pats would go. Still, nice story that Peyton wins his last game.
Rod;
I did find myself nodding off, but boat drinks at 10am will also do that.
Whoops there we are.
Age and boat drinks mature the author no end. Another great article Paul.
John J;
LOL maturity was something I never strived to achieve, but I’ll gladly take the old age.
Hi Paul, another good post tried to watch American football just don’t get it,
Like to watch baseball now that a sport that is good to watch and of course
Football or as Americans say soccer we cringe with that word lol,
Keep on enjoying yourself my friend good memories of Texas Joe love that burger,
Derek in pasig.
Derek;
Most High Schools have Soccer as a sport and it is forgotten on graduation day. We won’t watch 3 hours of people faking injuries and will never accept any game that ends in Nil-Nil.
Love the Universal Religious Concept Paul 🙂
Chris S;
I had to exceed that 500 word threshold. (lol)