Live in the Philippines

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What Did You Say?

Health / by

My sweet and wonderful wife Mayang seems to get angry with me lately and increasingly more as the years go by. Her complaint is; “Honey Ko, you don’t listen to what I say?” That is not true, for how busy do you think my day can get that I would ignore her on purpose? The truth is my hearing is fading over the years, which makes my neighborhood roosters and dogs seem a little quieter. When my Grandson is in a very unhappy mood, sometimes I miss hearing that too, unless I’m in the room with the little tike.

Please don’t think I’m seeking symphony, as I’m really not, it is somewhat of a blessing not hearing some of the crap people have to say. I’d deem the condition as an inconvenience more than anything else. The Doctor explained that I’d not go deaf, but my hearing would weaken as I get older. I’ll be shopping for an old fashion hearing trumpet in a few more years.

They are still building the house next door, and I can nap through the construction sounds without a hint of noise. It’s the high range of the hearing spectrum that I am lacking, and it seems that that is the range the female voice falls into (I didn’t plan it that way). I now read more than I watch TV as the TV ladies mumble at me during the entire show. But Discovery, History 1 & 2 and the Nation Geographic Channels have mostly male announcers and with a proper volume adjustment I can get by. The neighbors can hear what I’m watching.

I no longer can watch TV in the living room as the volume must be so high the family will be disturbed by the noise. But understand, I’m not complaining about it (yet they are), as every year as a Merchant Seaman I was subjected to a full hearing exam and the doctors predicted it would happen, I makes me laugh about all the warnings I gave my kids about their loud music, and now I’m the one to be the one who plays the music load. But then mine is Country or old Rock & Roll and it sounds good.

While in the Navy I was tasked with manning the guns on some ships, 3inch 50’s, twin 40 MM and such as that, in those olden times hearing protection was not in vogue throughout the fleet, hell we still thought asbestos was a wonderful thing. It wasn’t that no one cared about our hearing; it was most people didn’t know any better. Or with the Military Sealift Command in the Persian Gulf hearing Helo’s land and take off on the flight deck during the replenishment evolution lasting eight plus hours. Very pleasant at 135 degrees and no shade but we did have a little hearing protection. (But the pay was good.)

Now here is an odd phenomenon and anyone who has ever sailed on a ship will understand, the ship had a constant noise and vibration whether it is a 500 Pound Steam plant, turbine or diesel that after a few days it becomes second nature to the crew. But if while sleeping the ship loses a load (The plant shuts down) every member of the crew will wake up because of the silence. When I came home on vacation to the Philippines, I could not sleep, without a radio on to provide background noise while I sleep. “Shipmates, am I right???”

My wife and friends want me to go into Manila and apply for VA Benefits which will cover service connected hearing loss. Maybe next year, but definitely when they try to make me wear a hearing aid.

Every year my darling wife hangs a neon Santa and reindeer display on the roof. She told me that she was going to buy a new Ranger to replace the old one that was not working anymore. Wisely I smiled and said; “Great idea” Albeit I’ve didn’t know we even owned a Ford Ranger, or that the one we had was no longer working. Reindeer sounds like Ranger to me, and an hour later I figured that out. But I’d already said yes.

Texting is preferable to a phone call as even my smart phone is not loud enough for me. I have the damn thing on speaker and up to my ear and still miss half the conversation. Most of my friends either know about my hearing, or think that the beer must be flowing early in my world.

But here on LiP or Face Book, I am not affected at all as the eye sight is still good, as long as no one steals my glasses.

    1. Now for a few benefits of my poor hearing:
    2. At the mall movie theater the volume doesn’t seem that loud. And I really don’t hear the multitude of cell phones chirping around me.
    3. The public market seems quite peaceful when I’m there.
    4. I mentioned the roosters and dogs in the text above.
    5. Walking along the National Highway, it seems that all the vehicles have brand new mufflers.
    6. I no longer have to hear; “Hey Joe.”
    7. The list goes on, proving that if life hands you a lemon, you can squirt it right back into its eye.
    8. I’m getting better at reading non-verbal cues, so if the person speaking doesn’t appear angry, I smile and nod, and wonder what the hell I just agreed to?

When or if you write a comment, please speak up (LOL)

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Comments

  2. It is also because you’re retired, Been spending more time at home. I noticed same after retiring from the Navy, no more deployment. 2 months later I took a low paying job just to give us a break. After 17 years being apart, coming home for good is just much to get used to.

    • Edgardo;
      I rode all my ships in the first 10 years, I didn’t want shore duty. after I made Chief and Senior Chief there were no more ships for me as that new high sea pay, no one could afford to transfer to shore. So they kept sending me to type III shore duty counting as sea duty. But I already had 7 ships. Then I went with MSC and rode so many more ships but at much better pay. I was single for 30 years and am married now.

    • John Weeks;
      I hear what you’re saying, (Don’t believe that for a second) but I always have a good week, my worst, really wasn’t that bad. I wish the same for you and yours.

      • Paul, maybe you don’t know it, but I see a lot of wisdom in how you keep your sense of humor about life here and let the little things go. I also see a lot of (perhaps hard-learned) lessons on effectively dealing with your “domestic situations” and knowing when to stand your ground and when to embrace the opportunity to just let things go – and with a smile at that.

        I’ve stood on principle my whole life and have suffered greatly for it. In hindsight, it’s seldom worth the battle. So to paraphrase the old Bud commercial: This San Miguel’s for you!

        • John;
          I started out that way ready to defend what I thought was right; when it occurred to me that I really shouldn’t give a crap what that other person thought. I learned it didn’t matter what they thought if I knew that I was right in my point of view from where I stood, so I’d allow them to be right also, and kept my temper in check, because if you allow someone the power to change your mood, you gave away too much. So why would I allow them to make me angry. If you smile as you walk away, you’ve won.

  4. Exactly my problem with the same Symptoms and causes Paul. I have VA disability benefits for hearing problems that were service connected however they were not granted for the High frequency loss ( My here dramatically falls at t 5khz to _ 75 db at 10 khz). but I did get the disability for the Constant
    ringing in my ears. So what were my benefits . I was given 11o non taxable dollars per month as compensation however that amount was deducted from my military retirement income. I also got a slightly higher Priority when going to the VA clinics and hospitals> I tried to get the Navy to deduct the money given to the VA from my EXs portion of my retirement income but that fell on deaf ears. Maybe the should seek VA disability Compensation for hearing loss!

    • Joe;
      I just want the hearing aid, they can keep the money as I don’t need it. So your one of those guys that share your retirement. That passed after my divorce in the 60’s and so I stayed single the rest of my time in. I rode those ships and will be dammed if I’d share.my money. We were married for a couple of years and in the 80’s she sued for my pension, I laughed until I had tears in my eyes, as the court made her pay my law fee’s for wasting the courts time.

      • Paul – I hear you about not needing the money, but, for what it’s worth, a service-connected disability for partial loss of hearing (ringing in the ears, for example) rated by the VA at 30 percent fetches $440 a month for life. Not exactly chopped liver.

        • I forgot to mention, Paul, that the monthly service-connected disability compensation for life is tax-free and is subject to cost of living increases every year. So, what started out as $18 per month when I left the Army after 3 years has become $440.

  5. Funny comments even though I know it is a serious problem. I have had a hearing loss for 35 years now due to some idiot dropping a hand grenade too close when I was in the Army. I also have tinnitus or buzzing in both ears. It’s kind of like Murphy’s Law – your wife’s voice pitch and volume will always be in the range that is hardest to hear.. haha. Until you are able to get a hearing aid, you might try a simple sound amplifier. If they have a store such as Radio Shack in Phils – that’s where I got mine. Just carry it in your shirt pocket and the ear plugs look like you are using a phone or walkman. 🙂 It will help a lot and you can turn the TV down a bit. Good luck with wifey. They never do get used to your not hearing correctly – and just hope she keeps a good sense of humor.

    • Steve;
      Hand grenades and 3 inch 50 gun mounts neither are conducive to being a sonar operator on a Sub. (LOL) Thank God I’ve never had that ringing in my ears or I’d be answering my phone all day. I’ve never seen a Radio Shack here but someone will chime in and let me know if there is one, then I’ll check it out, my family will gladly buy me one, they have suggested head phones for my TV, but they would hurt when I fell asleep watching TV Would it be legal to drive with them on? (LOL)

  6. Paul:
    I have been deaf in one ear since 9 months old….people have asked me I don’t know how many times “what is it like not hearing in one ear?”…I always reply..”gee I don’t know..what is is it like hearing out of both ears?”…lol
    There are benefits…when there is a lot of noise all I have to do is roll over on my good ear and peace and quiet.
    On another note…you mentioned “hell we still thought asbestos was a wonderful thing”
    When I was a lad just learning the carpenter trade I was on a job to turn a 1800’s city hall/aka bank/aka jail/aka horse-drawn fire house into a bar/resto.
    While this was a City Hall it was also the Civil Defense center.
    In the basement of this huge building was a bunch of WW1 stuff…heavy steel helmets…uniforms..ammo boxes and canvas bando’s…and gas masks.
    the gas masks had wooden boxes full of screw on, olive drab, canisters with them…the canisters were about the size of 12 oz beer cans….full of powdered asbestos as a filter.
    I couldn’t keep the gas mask’s because they were mostly leather and got really moldy but I still have a couple of the steel helmets…the canisters I took to the landfill long ago…lol

    • Richard;

      I’ve worn glasses since I was 2 years old, and contacts lens later in life, in my 50’s they tell me I can now have laser surgery and correct my vision, where the hell were they when I was a teenager, like at that age I could care about not wearing glasses. It’s funny how something just becomes part of life, as with your hearing.
      Asbestos in a land fill, the “PC” police and unicorn herders would get you now, I rode two ships built in Quincy Massachusetts both loaded with the stuff and my big brother Bill helped build them, and he died of asbestos poisoning 7 years ago. But once more who knew? Life is like Texas Hold’ em, you play the cards the dealer gives you.

  7. Fortunately my hearing is in decent shape or at least I think it is LOL. I think I may have some slight damage in my left ear from when i was taking an antidepressant labeled as Zyban as an aid to quit smoking about 15 years ago. After a while my left ear kept ringing and I stopped using the Zyban pills. The ringing went away but according to recent hearing tests that ear has some loss at around 4 Khz . For the most part it does not hinder my ability to hear as the other ear is still working normally.

    I have read about a lot of recent advancements in hearing aids. Never thought of needing one for myself. When I used to go scavaging the local dump as a kid I once found a box full of old hearing aids. In those days they had ultra mini vacuum tubes in them and ran from a 22.5 volt battery. The tiny all in ear ones in use now might be just the ting for you Paul, unless of course you enjoy it like you are now. I can see where it would have some advantages.

    As long as you can still hear the tunes, enjoy a San Mig thats what really counts. As long as I can still hear some of the scratches and hiss on some of my very well worn 45’s I figure I am still in good shape LOL . Hi end dropoff ? No Problem, just add more amplifiers and Hi Frequency speakers to the music system.

    • Bob (New York)
      I’ll postpone the hearing aid as long as I can, I have a Sony TV upstairs with built in surround sound and a huge bass speaker built in. I’d like a flat screen, but I have a lot invested in the one I have so I’ll use it till it dies.
      I quit smoking for 5 or 6 years, flew back to San Diego and went to the CPO Club. Met a young lady and went off with her, later she lit two smokes and handed me one. Without thinking I smoked it, and then said; “You’d better have more of these things.”

      • Paul – We are of the same mind about hearing aids, but for different reasons, I think. With me, it’s flat-out pride. My Sweetie keeps telling me to get one, and my standard reply is, “I have no problem with my hearing as long as people don’t mumble when they speak to me.” Although, deep down, I admit I need one.

  8. I can fully identify with what you are saying here Paul. I, too, experienced a hearing loss in certain high frequencies due to being too close to explosions during the Vietnam era. As a Combat Demolition Specialist, we seemed to have the dumb attitude that as long as you were not in the path of shrapnel, the blast would be OK. I think I can hear a gnat fart across the room, but if it is a crowded room, and everyone is talking at the same time, sounds all blends together.

    • Richard Bowen;
      It’s the sound of gnats farting that I miss most; it was such music to my ears, similar to “RAP”. But explosions will do it; mine were heading out the barrel to where my Marine friends ashore requested them. Who knew hearing was involved? (lol)

  9. I have awesome hearing and I’d rather be deaf where I live in Olongapo. My wife, on the other hand, is the bingi one. She’s spent too much time working around heavy machinery. When I get back to the Philippines next month, I’d happily trade places with her.

  10. Paul,

    I think that after agreeing to buy a new Ranger, and not Reindeer, it is time for a trip to the VA for that free hearing aid!

    • Scott;
      I’ll wait until there is a new president. I don’t want to be put on a VA list until I die. It’s funny that he can come up with a spare 5.6 Billon to fight the war all over again in Iraq, but can’t fund the VA.

      • From what many experts are saying, there will be no more elections in USA!
        They also claim that the demise of US dollar is imminent.
        Mrs Feinstein even stated publicly that there is a 100% chance of an EMP event coming in USA. I hope you understand what that means.
        Forget the hearing aids, better stock up on food supplies!

        • Palawan Bob;
          Mrs. Feinstein is a liberal nut case whom I won’t listen to if I could hear well. OH! My freezer is already full, but that’s because of typhoons which is something that really might happen. (LOL)

  11. Hi Paul

    You can just adapt Filipino body language, they are masters of it.

    Everything has pros and cons.

  13. Hi Paul,

    It sounds like papaduck, sometimes i almost screaming telling something to him but he did not pay attention to what i’m saying, i advice him to have a ears check up, then one day we visited the doctor and i was wrong he has no hearing problems. now i know why sometimes he did not listen to me due of baseball and football games he watching. sometimes i also not pay attention to what he trying to tell me because i really don’t hear him due of busy household chores. may be right now, i’m the one who got hearing problems, lol. Have a Wonderful Christmas and Bounty New Year
    to you and to mayang and for the whole member of your family. God Bless…

    • Hi Anne;
      Hmmm admitting that you ignore each other? (LOL) I never have the courage to do that. I think we’ll be seeing you the Duck and John at Texas Joes next month.

  14. Paul: I thought it was just me, and maybe it is just me, but I have noticed that Sky Cable has recently been playing commercials at 2X the volume level. Really annoying since sometimes the difference is huge. My hearing was never great to begin with.

    I was a real pain in the ass recently with glasses. Unlike my hearing, my eyesight was always perfect (was 20 /10 without glasses). About a month ago, Rebecca finally dragged me to the eye doctor and I got reading glasses (Wearing them around my neck a la old fart). She got tired of seeing me try to read while looking like I was trying to pray to Allah. I must admit, they did help a bunch. It’s the idea of needing glasses, though…

    • John;
      I use Dream Satellite and the commercials are much louder than the program, I must keep the mute button close or the neighbors will have the Barangay Kaptian at my gate.
      As for the eyesight, just like my hearing, we chalk it up to time marching on for all of us, or as I like to say: “I’m much too young to be this damn old.”.

  15. I am working offshore now on a ship with a 4 on 4 off schedule, I am planning on stopping going offshore soon (it takes it toll on the body) and realize I need to do something on shore to keep me busy, so the wife and I are going to start a small biz.

    • Shawn;
      It was hard for me to give up sailing, the money was fantastic, but more than that I really liked my job. Moving to the dirt was the most difficult thing I ever did. The only business I want is “Monkey Business”. (LOL) .

  16. Hi Paul

    I’m new to the Philippines. Here with a young lady (24) and I am 68. We met through my cousin who is married to a Filipina in the States. She is very sweet and having had food poisoning twice while here I saw how much she cared for me. She would stay awake and wipe the sweat off me, and cool me down with cold compresses.

    She unfortunately has been ‘used’ by two ugly Americans before we met. One got her pregnant (she was 18 and very naive and still is) the other built her a ‘house’ and when she asked if he’d paint it his answer was, “Why? No benefit to me.” She lives in a small rural village outside Valencia City, and when I saw the house – rats, mosquitoes, cockroaches etc, I made her and me a promise I would not allow her and her three year old daughter to live this way. They are finishing the remodel of the house to Western standards in two days.

    My problem is teaching her that the practice of leaving food out on the table is unhealthy – “Why, everyone does it?” We are presently staying with her brother and sister-in-law and their two children, and the food is never refrigerated after cooked. I told her that I would not eat food left out – as I noted earlier I’ve already I’ve had food poisoning. I adore and love her family as my own family. I also have shown her how letting her daughter’s teeth rot can and will affect her health. She herself has upper and lower partial dentures from decay. The excuse was again, everyone does it they’re only baby teeth. Food doesn’t have any real value I’m finding unless it’s white rice and heavily salted, or because it taste good aka junk food.

    I’ve attempted to educate her on healthy eating and she says she understands. Yet, she continues to allow her family to feed (she does as well) high sugar and salt/junk food. I attempted to feed her daughter proper food at a gathering and the girl was eating it, but she never finished the ‘good’ stuff because Grandpapa kept coming and shoving rice into her mouth.

    One issue I did get her to understand was the wearing of a helmet on her motorcycle and wearing seatbelts. But even that is still a bone of contention as the rest of the family doesn’t wear them and when her daughter is with them they allow her to walk around the van and do what she wants. They also will transport the three year old on the motorcycle from Grandpapa’s who lives four blocks away.

    She and I are at constant edge because of these problems. I love her, and she is the most caring, and loving girl I’ve ever known. I want to settle here in the Philippines, having traveled the world (16 countries) for the past two years and be with her. She wants us to have a baby, but I’m afraid if I died our baby would be raised their way. She assures me the child wouldn’t be, however, I see the influence of her family on her. Now, I am doubting if maybe I should just forget about it all and continue traveling until I die. Are the cultural differences too great, I wonder, to ever be able overcome?

    Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

    • Jerry;
      My wife and daughter still after all these years leave food out, here is what you must understand for generations it has been done this way and they are immune to any bacteria that would knock us on the butt. Let them do it, if you want to eat some later put yours in the Ref. They will understand.
      Poor Dental health is a result of poverty; not neglect you don’t go to a dentist simple because you don’t have the money to go. But if you want you should take the child and have the teeth looked after.
      As for the family move away and get to an area that has the things you want, any Kano’s you meet will have wives or girlfriends that can show her the Kano way. If you push too hard you might push her away. Let her be what she is, a Pinay, she is not the Foreigner so don’t expect her to act like one.
      Give and take on both sides is the only way it will ever work, on the weekends visit her family and allow her to share them with you. You will come to understand their way, and hopefully them to your ways.
      Good luck if she is what you say the age difference will not be a problem. The rest of what you mentioned seem to be problems that only you can solve, there is a big adjustment to living overseas, only you can figure out if it fits your lifestyle.

      • Hi Jerry,

        Paul is right. The natives are used to much of this bacteria and can get away with more than we can. Don’t push to hard, take care of yourself and help her to keep you healthy. She will change over time but your relatives won’t. You don’t mention about the state of your finances or the condition of your health. Age wise, you are not that old if you are in good health. If you have some finances the child can be helped through a trust fund set up in your home country. If you don’t have serious health problems, I think that you are doing the both of you a disservice if you don’t try for a child. This is something that is very important to most Filipinas. If you are unsure about your future here and thinking about moving on perhaps that is best before you bring more hurt to this young woman and her family.

        God Bless,.

        • Jerry I feel for your adjustment to the Philippines. But there will be things that you just will not change. Eating Rice is one of them and Riding Grandpapas Motorcycle? good luck.

          We think that we know what is best for our Pinoy Love ones but I have learned a lot from them.

          Oh here is a Video of my Daughter who turned 1 year old at this time, riding the motorcycle with her LOLO. Hope no one is upset to see this.

          http://youtu.be/qSF5ET-QsL8

  17. Hi Paul,

    I would like to say Happy Veteran’s Day to you and all the Veterans reading!
    My dad was an Airborne Ranger and he has had ringing in his ear since I was born in 1965. It was caused by being too near a big gun during training.

    Thanks again for your service!

    Jay

    • Jay;
      The old Battle Ship sailors had an expression about firing the 18 inch guns;
      ” If you can’t stand the roar of the big guns, remove your butt from the main deck”. It was said as a chide to the young guys, but they didn’t know how true it is.

  18. Hi Paul, I have the same problem as Mayang, but he swears that he is not going deaf. Unfortunately, I have tinnitus, some idiot blew a whistle down the phone thinking I was a cold caller, they didn’t even wait to hear where I was ringing from. Wish I had kept his name and address lol. So we both have problems.
    But like you I am not keen on hearing aids just yet.
    As we are both the same age, these things come to try us.

    • Marjorie:
      Blew a whistle into the phone? What a sick thing to do. Here is a hearing joke to help us.
      A wealthy old man had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
      The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect… Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’
      The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet.
      I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’

  19. A great post as usual, also a very educational one.
    So that’s why I have to sleep with the TV on, to this day. If the TV is turned off when I’m asleep, I’ll wake up immediately.
    Plus 29 years of qualifying at the range every three months has my hearing pretty well shot. It’s OK though, I don’t really miss most sounds. I do say “Huh?”, or “What?” a lot though. My wife and daughter are always telling me I need to get a hearing aid. I tell them that when I can’t hear them tell me I need a hearing aid anymore, I’ll get one, but not before.

  20. PAUL, I WILL TYPE IN CAPS SO YOU WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM HEARING ME.
    (sorry, couldn’t resist)
    I too have lost plenty of my hearing as the result of jet engines and rivet guns, and of course the occasional rock concert. Do you get that constant ringing?

    • Hudson;
      Yes the ringing drives me crazy, but I found it was my cell phone. BTW;
      Where in the hell have you been all this time, it was like you dropped off the face of the Earth for a while, did you see Elvis?

    • it was 1971, right next to the stop N Go market… 6 months after the 7-11 opened, the Stop N Go closed its doors

  22. Hi Paul, I have that problem too! I finally receive my VA Disability and was fitted with hearing aids. They do work, but I only use them when I need a something extra. It took me 3 1/2 years to receive the disability due to the VA response; sorry your Medical Records have been lost and cannot be found. The problem is, I kept my records I continuously sent them to the VA. I finally gave up, and contacted my Local Congressman and sent him my records, and to my amazement my disability was quickly approved. Of course that is about the same time the heat was coming down on them for their inability to function. The tinnitus is the worst thing, it never stops ringing. We (the TM’s)were in charge of the small arms training, and hearing protection was never ever used!

    I enjoy reading what is going on in Subic, I was stationed at NAS Cubi 75-76, also made port visits on the old diesel submarines throughout the early 70’s. We always had a blast, I didn’t enjoy the typhoons, but it didn’t ever seem to bother the locals.

    Keep up the post, and have a great NAVY DAY!

    • Doug;
      Hi Shipmate, I find it odd that the administration can come up with 5.6 billion to refight the war in Iraq for the third time. But can’t find the money to fund the VA, there must be no Oil under the VA medical centers.
      I’ll go up to Manila after the Christmas season to see the VA and find out what paperworks I must fill out. I also have both my Navy and Merchant Marine medical records so we’ll see how that goes.
      In the words of Charlie Hilsee CSC (SS) and Chief Steward, Merchant Seaman; “Diesel Boat’s Forever”