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I was just remembering a friend that died a few years ago now. He was dear to me and Bob because his half brother really is so close and the best friend of Bob here, that they treat each other like true brothers. He is so close that I felt that I had 2 husbands. LOL. The kids were also so close to him.

Well, the half brother he’s a half Filipino and half American, his name was Omar. He was born and grew up in the States. Never been to the Philippines. He was just not interested to visit nor live here. But when the really best friend of Bob moved here, the half brother then decided to pay a visit to the home place of his mom. At that time when he came for a visit to his half brother he was like 19 or 20. The half brother that’s the best friend of Bob, he’s like 52 or 53 at that time.

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He decided to continue his studies for college here. I accompanied him to check out some colleges around here. He then decided to study in Ateneo de Davao University. I can’t remember the course he was gonna take up. Anyway, I’m really like a mom to him. He always hangs out at our house or he goes out  with us every time Bob and I and his brother will go somewhere. Really whenever he goes alone he’s always calling me and let me talk to the people that he is dealing with or either he is buying from or asking questions. In short people don’t really get when he’s talking. They think he’s accent is a bit too much for them. So I’m the life line or the call a friend kind of thing. LOL.

Is a wedding on the way

Is a wedding on the way?

Weeks after he arrives here, we were asking him if he could see himself marrying a Filipina later? He quickly replied to me “Nah, I’m not really into dark hair ladies, I want to marry a blond lady” we were bursting into laughter. He was so strong into marrying blond ladies. So I dare him, I told to him that we will make a bet for Php 100,000 that he will be married to a Filipina lady by the end of that year. I said to him “If you’re not married to a Pinay by the end of the year then you will get the hundred thousand pesos”. He came like April or May of that year. So he agreed, we had a handshake in-front of his half brother and Bob. He thought he can really hold himself and he thinks he’s so strong of his desire to be marrying a blond lady. Well, let me tell you just less than a month of our handshake, he went to visit the birthplace of his mom. My goodness just few days there, he was already calling and texting me “Feyma I’m in love with a very beautiful girl”. I teased him I said is she blond? He told me hell no. We were laughing. He came back to Davao and my goodness all he ever talked about was about that girl.

Omar - RIP

Omar – RIP

So I told him, I think I’m going to be a hundred thousand pesos richer pretty soon here. Few weeks after his visit to his mom’s hometown, his parents sends money for him to come home to America because the girl he was in love with was a distant relatives of the mom. The mom and the parents of the girl was just against the relationship. So he went back to the States and joined the army then. He served for I think 2 years and got injured while serving. He died later of a motorcycle accident in his hometown. To you my friend, thank you for serving and I missed your laughter. So long!

I was just making an example of my friend. Too many expats I’ve met through the years that say they would not get involved right away here with a woman. They came here a single man hoping to have a good retirement and meet a woman later. They will be telling me that oh, “ladies will be far from my mind at the moment”. Then few weeks of being here we found out they got involved with a lady already. Ladies already moving in to the expat’s house. To be honest you can’t blame the lady too. She wants to better her life too. Knowing the expats will give her the security. She did not put gun on the head of the expat. It’s the expats choice. I just hope that its the right head that will think for the expat. It happens a lot most of their savings were wipe out in the short time being with the lady. I mean less that 2 months more than half a million pesos were wipe out from the guy. It’s a concerned to me sometimes, especially if the person that was con was a true friend of ours. It bothers me. But what can we do the guy was so in love with the girl. I hope the girl was also madly in love with the guy. I guess the saying applies to most of these expats “love is blind”. Lucky for other expats that I know, they had money, even they were con to many times they survived because they had so much money saved before coming here. But for others its really unfortunate.

I will just say good luck to those expats that would allow and continued themselves to be conned.

Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

 

 

Feyma

Feyma Martin is a Columnist here on the Live in the Philippines Web Magazine, she is the wife of site Publisher, Bob Martin. Feyma is originally from the Philippines, but went to the USA for 10 years after marrying Bob in 1990. Bob & Feyma moved to the Philippines to live permanently in 2000.

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Dave Weisbord
Guest

There is a fine line between a con and a situation where two people are in a relationship and one or both is not good at managing money.

john
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john

Feyma, very touching story. Sorry for the loss of your close friend. Also words of wisdom as well. Thanks.

greg
Guest
greg

Hello Feyma’s,

Are you a realtor as I would like to put together a major business venture with you of possible. I have international partners who want to invest in Mindanao.

Please advise so we can schedule a meeting in Davao. Is there a swanky resort which my guest could stay at? They live to golf and carouse.

Look forward to your reply soon. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years. I am a Christian. Are they welcomed in Muslim Mindanao?

Greg

Michael Boo
Guest

sad story rip Omar , but i agree. who needs a blond

william borkowski
Guest
william borkowski

your sentence “hope they think with the right head” is right. one of THE main attractions of the Philippines is the Filipina. Cant help but love them, but make sure it is with the right head, and that is not a joke.

Murray
Guest
Murray

Hi Feyma
I have recently experienced the loss of a loved one. My Dad died on Sunday 7 December after a short battle with liver cancer, he was 86. Fortunately I was able to come back to NZ and help my sister care for him in his final weeks. We did not want him to die in a hospital or hospice, so we cared for him in my sisters house.
Funeral this Saturday. Looking on the bright side, I will be able to return to the country I love, and possibly never go back to NZ again.
Regards
Murray

Russell Clement
Guest
Russell Clement

Hi Feyma ,,, My aunt always told me ” love isn’t always blind” its ” Deaf and Dumb ” as well ,,, 🙂 Regards Russ

dine
Guest
dine

This to Jay, I agree with Brenton about being cautious who to marry. You are one of the luckiest husband to have met a very good girl. I am a Filipina who is married to an American. I am blessed with a very good job that can support myself and a family without my Americano husband. My achievements were due to my own hard work and sacrifice. A man and a woman has to use their common sense every time they choose a partner. A Filipina has to be very cautious also what kind of man she will marry, not… Read more »

Jay
Guest
Jay

Hi Dine,

I am glad I have what I have in life not what I deserve!

I think you are very correct in your warning to Filipinas seeking foreign husbands. When I confess that I was not a good man and that if my wife would not have married me if she knew more about me. I do not mean that I was a truly evil person like a pedophile, a rapist or a murder, but I suspect some of the foreigners who seek a relationship with a lady from the Philippines are predators.

Ed
Guest
Ed

Feyma, it’s often not an issue of being “conned”. One can have a legal wife and many kids, but when the wife thinks that 1 minus 1 = infinite money, and refuses to understand simple grade 1 arithmetic given her college education and prior work as a bookkeeper, it’s only a matter of time before there’s a huge and increasing problem. How does it help when years later the wife finally says “I’m learning”, when there’s no money left or to be borrowed anymore to buy bigas let alone pay for frivolous unnecessary things like rent, water, and electricity, food… Read more »

Bill
Guest

Feyma,

A heart felt read. Thank you for sharing. I’m very sorry of the loss your family endured. Sounds like quite a man!!

As far as the black haired vs blonde hair thing? I’ll take a filipina over any woman – anywhere! But that’s my own personal preference.

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

Bill

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