Live in the Philippines

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A Milestone for Me, My 200th LiP Article

Expats / by

200 Weeks ago fearless leader Mindanao Bob asked me if I’d write a weekly article about my life in the Philippines. I thought about for a day or two and agreed to do it. For years I wrote a monthly report about my life in The Navy and Puerto Rico as a night club owner, and sent it out to all my family and friends scattered around the world, when I found that they were passing it on to others.

Then after Hurricane Hugo decided it would be a good time for me to seek new employment, I moved up to the left coast of Florida to the Clearwater/Largo area and settled in Treasure Island Florida, right by Saint Petersburg.

Never should have given me that one year pin
Never should have given me that one year pin

I took a job as an assistant manager for a Bar Liquor Store chain called ABC Liquor, thinking to myself; “What an original name.” Then they made the mistake of promoting me to manager and giving me a one year employee pin. I stopped in every bar in town that night looking at the cheap ass pin thinking, I’m settling into something that I don’t want. This is not the “PAUL” that I grew up with.

The next day I gave them three months notice and went to the Coast Guard Office in Miami and applied for my Merchant Marine Document (Z-Card) and then applied to the Military Sealift Command (Pacific Fleet) for a job. When my ninety days was up the district manager asked me why? I just said: “Ralph, you never should have given me that dumb pin.” I next went out on the Gulf of Mexico as a shrimp fisherman, but found that it stunk; both while there and for a week or two after you got back in port. I was still waiting to hear from San Francisco about that job as a Seaman.

Gulf Shrimp-Boat
Gulf Shrimp-Boat

Now I got the call to fly out to San Francisco to be hired and attend schools required for employment, schools such as Lifeboatman, shipboard firefighting, and damage control, and all the same schools that I’d attended while in the Navy. But they were paying for my room at the Holiday Inn, plus $35.00 a day to eat and full salary I shut my mouth and waited the six months out there for my first ship, thinking; “Their paying me to do this?”

My home for 6 months while training
My home for 6 months while training

Now I’ll fast forward, bypassing many ports of call, meeting and marring Mayang, building the house on the mountain and retiring from that easiest of all jobs that I’d ever had. But remembering all the while any job that you love is really not working. Even after retiring I still kept with my monthly news gram to family and friends. And since I had a computer but no access to that interweb thingy I had to put it on a disk (No USB then) and go to an internet café to print and e-mail it out. My friends here in the Philippines would make copies of my missives and leave them in the local watering holes that we hung around in.

Then the RAO (Retired Affaires Office for retired Military) asked me if they could post my articles on their web site, then I got hooked up to the World Wide Web, and a friend told me to check out LiP, and I found it to be a good thing.

On the LiP forum some guy posted something, which one of my articles pertained to, so I cut and pasted it onto there. I was trying to jack the dudes jaw, but it just made him laugh. It’s hard to stay mad even on line if someone cracks you up.

The next day I received an e-mail from some guy named Bob Martin, asking if I would like to write for his site. Well since I was a reader of Bob’s and noticed that the other writers which I found them all to be talented and thoughtful folks I said to myself: “Self, why the hell not but Bob, are you sure you want this?”

Getting ready to blog my first time
Getting ready to blog my first time

But I made up my mind that anything I wrote will have to had happened to me or my family and friends who live here on these enchanted Isles. And using my odd sense of humor as a gauge, it would have to be funny as I wanted to point that all things can be funny if you just take the time to think about it. Plus if you can laugh at it you won’t go ballistic on innocent local people;
Well in that light, I know I’ve failed, but I promised myself, that just like making love, I’ll keep doing it until I get it right, as both are worthwhile.

So as you groan your way through this my 200th Article, may I point out (Brag about) that not once have I missed submitting an article to my friend Mindanao Bob Martin, (AKA: Fearless Leader) because that my friends, is pure Military training kicking in.

So to our faithful and thoughtful readers of LIP, I want to thank each and every one of you for your support and great comments, for without them we’d be spinning our wheels and that reminds me; ‘No the New Ole Honda is not done.” Did you like the way I snuck that in?

Now to the two or three people who have attempted to FLAME me I can only ask one question; “What the hell were you thinking? And did you like the way I came back and politely told you to pack sand and made you enjoy it? But to all others once again, I send my heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you really great folks too whom shall ever forth be known as LIP’ers

And to Mr. Robert Martin; thank you sir, for affording me the privilege of writing for your fine web site!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Congratulations, Paul Thompson, and also a big thank you for your contribution to my site. You are a big reason for the success of the site, people really love your articles!

  2. Thanks, Paul! Great job, and much appreciated! You are a great part of the site, and a lot of people truly enjoy your contribution to the site!

    • Dirk;
      Thank you for those kind words, my Mother could also point out the absurd side of life, and the humor that abounds within it. If people would just take the time to do it, so many problems could be avoided. Plus you’ll never have high blood pressure!

  6. Congrats Paul… I really enjoy your posts each Monday. Keep it up. I will be waiting on number 300.

  7. HI Bob,
    Now in Hawaii, my wife Angelina is from Tagum, any ideas of good place to retire near coast, but upcountry where its cooler. Maybe your wife knows of some property?
    ALOHA RON

    • Hi Ron – Well, generally, if you are near the coast, it is hot. Cooler places would be up in the mountains. When you say “upcountry” do you mean up north? Generally “near the coast” and “upcountry” are kind of the opposite of each other, so I am not exactly sure where you are thinking.

    • Craig;
      Thank you for your nice comment, and I remember that song but it was “Hat’s Off To Larry” Damn I’m getting old, but it beats the alternative.

    • Jamie;
      I kinda’ enjoy living them, but do they have to keep happening one after another? Just once I’d like to submit an article to Bob in 500 words or more, “Nothing happened, drank beer took copious naps and played with Little Dude my grandson. Ah I’m dreaming, it’ll never happen here on the mountain in the Philippines!

  10. I live in Tagum City. It can get hot here. Davao has a couple of cool places to live. Near Eden Park and Buda are cooler. Just look for the pine trees!!!

  11. Hi Paul – Thank you so much for sharing your life of living here in the Philippines. Bob really made a good choice to have you here on LIP. I enjoyed reading your post every week. Hats off to you.

    Thank you again Paul and more power to you!

    • Feyma;
      Thank you very much, but I’ll say I get more out of writing for LiP as I have met some great people who have contacted and visited me here in the Olongapo area. LiP readers are the best!

  12. Dog gonnit Paul, you had to trow in the New old Honda and I was going to question you about that. You took away my comment by doing that. My mind is like a steel trap these days, rusted and not as fast as it used to be.

    • Joe;
      A funny thing happened Saturday, the phone rang and Kuya Greg, told us that the Cylinder Head was done and back at his shop. Mayang in her excitement thought that the car was done and made plans that Monday (Today) we would go down to the shop to see the resurrection of the “New Ole Honda”. I threw water on her parade, and said call Friday and ask them if it will be done next week. She thought for a moment, and said; “Paul, you truly do understand the Philippines.”

    • Paul;
      I think Bob is wise enough not to do that. It’s funny but I never felt that way about “Hash Marks” on my uniform. But that cheap as plastic pin…

  17. Hi Paul,
    Thanks for writing all those 200. Hope you’ve got many more things to write about.
    Your dry sense of humor always comes through, which is fun. I only wish it was audio sometimes so that I could also enjoy your New England accent.
    Best wishes, Queenie

    • Queenie
      When I was a young man I enjoyed Faulty Towers and anything by The Monty Python group, my buddies didn’t get it, but then they also thought that The Three Stooges and Benny Hill were great and I didn’t, I guess I have my own drummer when it comes to humor. I think I search and find Faulty Towers and download it to watch again.

      • Hey Paul,
        A man after my own heart! We own all the Faulty Towers, Are you Being Served? and The Three Stooges on disc and watch them all the time!

        • Queenie;
          There have been very few situation Comedies in recent memory that are worth watching, but Modern Family makes me laugh, I love the little fat boy, he has the best lines.

  18. Congrats on the 200 article Paul. By my calculations I have most likely missed about 150 of them. That will give me something to do on the slow days, dig through the archives.

    • Loren;
      Why punish yourself like that? BTW if you borrow the Inova, I’ll drive and we’ll have cocktails at the Loren Arms on the Roof top mountain (Using the new wall, when we get back Pick a day and let me know.

  20. Hi Paul.
    Your articles are always the best they relate to people in a folksy communitative way.
    I hope to share a few moments with you when and if I get back there.
    Jade

  21. Hi Paul,
    200 weeks. That’s more than 4 years of writing here on LiP. I always enjoy reading your articles. One of my favorite writers on this site. You’re good in injecting good sense humor to even the most ordinary daily life here in our country, and make it come lively. Reading your articles (and the accompanying replies to comments) through the years, never once did I see you hotheaded. Always with good sense of humor, and always a gentleman. Kudos to you sir! Looking forward to your more coming 200 weeks of very nice and informative articles about living here in the Philippines.

    • Louie;
      Never give another person the power to change your mood, and when you get angry that’s exactly what you have done. Most people who attack others online are cowards who feel empowered by their ability to hide behind a keyboard safe at home.
      If I respond to them at all, I’ll do it by being polite and stating my point of view.
      I have found the Philippines to be a relaxed country where people try to be kind and giving to the best of their ability. Ordinary life is all I know about, I will not lecture anyone on how to live theirs. The ability to smile and laugh is a gift we were blessed with, albeit some people have misplaced theirs. I’ll keep writing as long as you keep reading (Comments are nice too)

  22. Congrats, Senior. I will lead manning the rail and salute. Job well done, will the 201st topic be the “New Old Honda”?

    Happy Fathers Day,

    Mars

    • Mars;
      There is a slight chance that the New Ole Honda could be up and about next week, after I pay the bill and recover from the sticker shock I’ll finish the story I have on file.
      I have a funny story about manning the rails, my ship was returning to Norfolk after a Med Cruise, we were dismissed from formation, and Henry and I were looking at the dependents milling around on the pier. (We were both single) Henry points out this chubby lady in a house dress and slippers, with curlers in her hair, holding what appeared to be a basketball with arms and legs in her arms. Henry points her out and says to me; “Paul it’s a crying shame, after a 7 month cruise that is the best some sailor will ever get.” A second class cook turns to Henry and said; “Hey buddy, that’s my wife.” Henry replied, “Don’t tell me your problems shipmate, Paul and I are trying to figure where we can get our first beer after liberty call.”

      • Hahaha, but isn’t it just like that song about having one too many beers? Can’t recall who sang it right now but just like after so many beers, she would look like “10” to some? BTW, coming into NOB must be the longest Special Sea Detail there is, then you have to man the rail when passing the Atlantic Command HQ.

        Looking forward to your next article, oh, nice talking to you on the phone a couple of month ago, I was really planning to go down there in your area but just ran out of time.

        Mars

        • Mars;
          As if there could be too many beers! It was a long sea detail for a fact but those beer joints that used to be out on Tausnic Blvd. (Spelling?) were open early, so it was worth it.

          Next time you’re in town…

            • Mars;
              Mr. Zimmerman has been my hero since I was 15, but I believe he mis-spelled “BEER” he spelled it “BLUE” Tangled Up In Beer”
              Hey when did they start thinking that commercials on u-tube would be a good idea?

              • Ha ha Paul, I think that in the late sixties, Mr. Zimmerman was tangled up in more than just beer, just asked Joan Baez and the other peace loving hippie of that generation, then he wrote “Lay Lady Lay”, “Knock Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” and “Like a Rollingstone”

  23. And now that you have made my SUNDAY… I shall go to sleep, laughing at all the things you’ve said over the years that made me chuckle.

    Congratulations Paul!

    I’ve never served in the military, but did work for the government, so I’ve been late a time or two. So far, he hasn’t threatened to write me up. LOL!!

    • Scott;
      Your Sunday turned out well, and my Monday is good so far. I looked in my beer ref, and it is full and all beers are well chilled. Guess what my plan of the day is now? Sleep well!

  24. Congrats on your 200th article Paul. I remember when this site first appeared, where did all of those weeks go ? Many of your articles have really come to light for me during my visits to The Philippines, especially when it comes to being patient and preventive measures from becoming an Ugly Kano. One of the best examples of this is when I went to a 24 hour take out place late in the evening and wanted to get a couple of cups of take out coffee. The place was closed for scheduled weekly maintenance. After becoming just slightly insistant with the security guard at the door a server came over and I asked her about the coffee and she replied ” Yes Sir, we Don’t have any coffee “. As soon as I got out of sight of the place I broke into hysterical laughter because it reminded me of something I had read on one of your 200 great articles here on LIP. Thanks for the one liner update on the new old Honda, that really makes my day.

    • Bob;
      Sometimes if you don’t laugh, you might cry. Before the movie yesterday (Man of Steel) I stopped at Wendy’s to get a Chili Dog as they are one place that does not serve the Red Dye #5 dogs. I ordered the Chocolate Thick Shake, and Jane informed me that I could have a Strawberry Shake Na lang. as they were NOT IN STOCK both chocolate and Vanilla I smiled and asked; “Jane, could you take the strawberries out of mine as I don’t like them?” It took Jane a minute, then she noticed that I was smiling, and she smiled also, as I said, “I’ll take a coke. I went back and had another Hot Dog, and she told the other two girls about what I said, I received three large smiles from three pretty young ladies and that was better than the shake ever could have been.
      You did the right think with that coffee.
      The sign in front of the 7-11here in the Philippines states, “OPEN 24 HOURS” so when you find it closed please remember that the sign didn’t say those 24 hours would be in a row. (LOL)

  25. Hi Paul: Congratulations on your 200th article! Thanks for the laughs, good humour, and positive outlook.

  26. Thank you both, Bob and Paul honestly made my move from working in California to Drinking San Miguels in the Philippines so much easier with all of your information.

    • Terry;
      Shipmate, I’m glad you gleaned something useful out of my cambering articles, now good information from Bob, well that goes without saying, But me? Put down that beer quickly.

  27. Thank you both, Bob and Paul honestly made my move from working in California to Drinking San Miguels in the Philippines so much easier with all of your information.

  34. Well done Paul love every Monday. (that Bob makes you work hard for your pay rise) lol lol

    • Hi John;
      Bob is a real task master, Actually Bob, edits nothing (Even my mis-spelling and bad grammar) Common sense lets me know how far I can go, and I know it’s a family friendly web site. At 65 years of age I still get confused with the usage of WHO and Whom, does anyone have a simple way to remember the difference?)

      • Who vs. Whom
        Rule
        Use the he/him method to decide which word is correct.
        he = who
        him = whom

        Examples:
        Who/Whom wrote the letter?
        He wrote the letter. Therefore, who is correct.
        For who/whom should I vote?
        Should I vote for him? Therefore, whom is correct.
        We all know who/whom pulled that prank.
        This sentence contains two clauses: We all know and who/whom pulled that prank. We are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. He pulled that prank. Therefore, who is correct. (Are you starting to sound like a hooting owl yet?)
        We want to know on who/whom the prank was pulled.
        This sentence contains two clauses: We want to know and the prank was pulled on who/whom. Again, we are interested in the second clause because it contains the who/whom. The prank was pulled on him. Therefore, whom is correct.
        Another grammar lesson for out American friends lol lol

        • John;
          For Whom the Bell Tolls, it tolls for he? No it tolls for HIM,I get it now, “him” does sounds better.
          Thank you that is quite simple, Mrs. Ahearn my 4th grade teacher was blessed with good looks and was well endowed; so now you see why that part of English escaped me.
          Thank you.

  35. Hi Paul – *drum roll* congratulations! Not sure what my favorite article, each one cracks me up. Do you have favorite? San Mig Cheers to you! ^_^

    • Hi Sugar;
      Yes I do, the ones that frustrated me the most, not because I like pain, but because I’m proud of myself for not going “Ugly Kano” on a innocent person. If an item is out of stock, how in the name of anything holy could it be the young underpaid clerks fault?

  36. Thanks Paul for all the hard work you put into your articles. I really enjoy reading them every week.

    • Steve;
      I wouldn’t go as far as hard work, I normally write them on Friday as I have to send them to Fearless Leader Bob on Saturday. I think back over the past week, and write about the oddest think I’ve seen or done. If there are mollifiable oddities (Which sometimes there is) I make notes and save it for when I’ve hit the wall and gone dark with the dreaded “BLOCK” But the one thing it’s not is hard work, albeit I’d like everyone to think it is. It’s fun for me too!

  37. Paul you are the best. When I mention Bob’s site people will say yes I read it I love that Paul guy. Lets see 200 more out of you. Ron

    • Ron;
      My dream has come true, even after 30 plus years at sea I had never became “That Paul Guy” On my head stone that will be carved or I’ll come back as a “White Lady” and my wife will have to sell the house and move.
      Thank you Ron!

  38. Paul you have alway’s been my favorite read. Thanks for all the laughs and insight. Happy 200th !!!! I’m with Ron I think you got at least 200 more in you….

    • Brian;
      You are most welcome, and thank you for reading Bob’s site.
      Unless there is a major-major shift in the basic manor of life here in the Republic of the Philippines, I shouldn’t run out of adventures to talk about any time soon.

  39. Hi Paul, congrats on reaching your 200th article, I think I have read nearly all of them. Brightens up my Monday morning. Like you and Queenie I enjoyed Monty Python etc.

    My son was drinking San Mig which was on tap at the pub we were in. He said it doesn’t taste as good as that brewed in the Philippines.

    Heres to many more articles.

    • Marjorie;
      First Thank you for your comment!
      Your son is correct; export beer is loaded with preservatives. I was in charge of the base liquor store in Diego Garcia, and all we sold was paper label (Export) and at the end of my first month I notice it was not selling. I made a deal for the US Air Force to fly real San Miguel (Painted Label) out on a C5-A (Monster cargo plane) from Clark Air Base in the Philippines… Every Brit, American and Filipino on the rock thanked me. But now what do I do with the wall of empty cases that I can’t ship back… Another story for another time as I’m not sure there is a statute of limitations on what I did.

      • Paul,
        I’m looking forward to hearing some more of those funny stores and sea tales over several cold adult beverages when Anne and Myself get there. This article has really got me excited. July 30th will be here soon. Take care hope you had a nice Fathers Day

      • Paul, this beer is made under licence at a brewery in Wolverhampton, or somewhere in the Midlands.

  40. All great articles Paul, I love reading them, keep them coming. Congrats on your 200th and here’s to the next 200 (raising an SM which exists only in my mind until I return there).

    • Jack;
      Thank you, and the quicker you get here, the better that SMB will taste. Albeit I’ve never been 100% sure that it’s the best tasting beer, or could it be where you are when your drinking it? But it sure tasted good yesterday. (lol)

  41. 200 write ups have a rum and coke on me when next in sit n bull.
    see you in a few months.

  42. Congratulations! It should be celebrated with 2 cases of below zero San Miguel Beer. Cheers

  43. Hi Paul! Your’s is the one I always try to get to read. It’s entertaining and fun. Congratulations! Well done! 🙂 🙂

    • Alf;
      Very poetic “It’s entertaining and fun. Congratulations! Well done!”
      I really got a smile out of that, So Thank You, and again thank you for reading Bob’s site!

  44. Paul,

    I can’t count how many times I have chuckeled at my computer reading your articles. I usually read them at work in the middle of the night. Sometimes people give me a weird look as they wonder what in the world I am looking at. Who cares. I can’t really imagine people getting pissed at you but some people are just that way. I hope when the day comes that I can retire I have the outlook on life you do.

    Thanks for the fun!

    Mike

    • Mike;
      The odd looks you got at work from your fellow employee. Might have been; “What is funny about this job?”
      Nah, I pleased when someone tells me that, we all deserve that carefree time in life when you don’t do anything you don’t want to do, unless your wife tells you too. Your time will come, just relax and enjoy it.

  45. Thanks, Paul.

    Learned all sorts of cool and useful things along the way, such as:

    Best type of roof to put on our home (concrete slab)

    When to give in and let the wife have her way (always)

    • Peter;
      You are most welcome, if we’ve explained those two important life rules to you and they made sense, then we’ve done our job. I feel so good now that I’ll reward myself with a stubby painted label bottle of SMB.

  46. wtg, Paul !!! Keep doing Paul and we’ll keep reading 🙂 Thanks for the stories, smiles and common sense!

    • Kevin;
      You build it and they will come. That’s what they said to Bob years ago about LiP, I’ll keep writing as long as you keep reading. And Sir, you are most welcome!

  47. Hi Paul,
    Congratulations, looking forward to the next 200 articles and keep the humor!