The New Old Honda update: it’s still in the shop, awaiting parts from Mega Manila, maybe next week, or a good chance not. I rented a car this week for a few days to accomplish a few of the mundane tasks required for day to day living here on the mountain.
So what’s new with you Paul? Well again with a days notice I was informed that I would be attending a wedding on Wednesday 22 May. I would be more than happy to fill you all in on the particulars of this union, but I have no clue as to who these two people are. Mayang is honored to be a nenang but I wasn’t even asked to be a ding dong. I’m thinking, I don’t know who they are, nor do I even know their names, I’m not a nenong, so using my cagy brain I’m thinking; “Hey I don’t have to go.”
How can one man be so wrong so often? Of course I’m going, my wife has a new dress and requires an escort or “Plus One” and I’m the one to be the one to be that! But without me bothering to explain that, you all knew that was going to be the case. Paul being a glass half full, kinda’ guy, (Why don’t people, purchase the correct sized glasses?) I’m thinking; “hey there might be cocktails involved.”
I lovingly look to my bride and foolishly ask; “What time will the nuptials take place?” To which she told me 1500 and we will be there at 1430. Listen, this is not my first rodeo, I did not just hop down from the turnip truck, and the priest won’t even show up until 1700, we all know that. But I have my marching orders, and as a good former sailor I just said; “Aye-aye my love, I’ll just follow your lead and mill around smartly.”
I had (Read wife) purchased a present for the young couple, and I can’t wait until they open it, so I’ll know what I bought. In deference to Paul Keating article of last week, I’ll be wearing a dress shirt and slacks plus my shined pair of Dexter Boat Shoes, fit for meeting kings and royalty. But sans socks, because there are limits as to how far I’ll go.
Saint Jerome’s church is a 15 minute walk, a 5 minute Trike ride, but Mrs. Thompson insisted we the car, albeit a rental and she hated the idea of the car just sitting at home while we’re paying for it. Cecil and Ymir Thea went to Manila to register my grandson Jayden’s birth with the US Embassy and to apply for his blue passport; the little Dude becomes a documented, Kano today. I’m so proud.
One would think; okay it was me that thought, that all I’d have to do is shower shave dress and go, nope, Mayang took me to Mon-Gil’s barber shop for my ears to be lowered and mustache and eye brows trimmed, at 0830 this morning. Who are these people and what power do they hold over us? I dug my feet in and demanded (Okay I asked nicely) to know just who they are. They live in the new house across the newly fenced in empty lot beside my house. Armed with this new information I can now absolutely say; “I still don’t know who they are.
Paul it’s time to go! I’m reading a book and it’s 1500, I’m not dressed and Mayang is in panic mode, I walked her out on our roof patio and pointed to the bridal possession parked in front of the brides house next door and said; “Honey Ko, when they are ready I’ll be ready, and went back to my book. My predictions as to the timing of this wedding are all coming true, how do I do that? Mayang is back, “They are all out in the street now.” She informed me, okay I’ll put my R2D2 (Rechargeable book) down and take a shower now. Thirty minutes later and guess what? The wedding party is still outside on the street but now “they” are the ones who are milling around smartly. The knowledge of who is getting married I gleaned by osmosis, and the fact the car with the flowers on the grill was parked next door to my house in plain view. I could have been a detective if I’d not been a seaman.
Off to the church we go, where we all get to become part of that grand Filipino scam called the “WEDDING” Okay call me a cynic, call me a doubter call me anything but late to last call. You’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about if you have ever attended a wedding here.
It’s called “The Photo Guy Scam” (May be used at a Baptismal too), this is where the official Photog guy, has a partner who will skulk around the church snapping pictures of everyone there. When the service starts he will slide out and return to his lair, normally on a 90 cc moped with a taped up seat. The plan is for him to return at the end of the service and sell at PNP 100.00 a picture of everyone one who attended. If for any reason he is delayed the official photog guy will take pictures by the thousands until his partner shows up with the money shots and starts hawking them to the crowd outside the church, Ah now you remember don’t you, yes I know he got me once also, but only that once, Mayang every time!
Please note I tried not to bore you with any details of the service, I figure that you’ve all been through it too. But once more I will brag that I got the whole schedule right, that I predicted above. It’s just too easy, like shooting fish in a barrel.
The party, next-door I had doffed my Sunday-go-to-meeting outfit and moved to shorts and a shirt, or the same outfit that most of the people at church were wearing. The food was being served; some idiot was pumping rap noise at 110 decibels into the ear of the guests, and the foul language seemed to fire up the younger crowd. My host (Father of the bride) walked over and shut it down, and I saw the beginning of a beautiful friendship blooming.
The food was plentiful and good, the Lechon; well need I say more? But there was no beer! Why do parties here omit the fluid that lubricates a festive mood? I took a 45 second walk to my beer ref at home and returned smiling. But now other party goers are coming up and asking me where I got that sweet nectar of the gods, I pointed with my lips in all directions of the compass that seemed to placate them. But a few minutes later a case of warm SMB appeared that calmed the crowd.
Anytime in the Philippines you can help a man save face you will be performing an act of kindness that will never be forgotten, and returned tenfold. I noticed two very well dressed and distinguish looking gentleman sitting by themselves, our host was offing them things to drink that they declined each time. I once more took that 45 second (one way) trip to my house to get a cold SMB and thought that a small act of kindness could help out my soon to be new friend. In a brown paper bag (So reminding me of my youth) I slid a new bottle of (still in the box) Johnny Walker Black Label, when I returned I caught my host off to the side and said; “A gift from my house to your house.” Then I just walked away to rejoin my bride.
Then I noticed on the “High Person’s” table glasses, ice and a bottle of Johnny Black sitting there, my host was beaming, and turned in my direction and smiled. He’s my new friend, whom BTW I now know all the names of his family. I went home and the party roared on until very late or early depending on your point of view.
My father had taught his five sons that it was the small acts of kindness that were not requested, that had the most meaning.
Okay; Fearless Leader Bob, since this one is so long, do I get next week off? (LOL)
Really nice blog Paul. Thank you. Well written and insightful.
Ace;
Thank you very much!
So very happy to hear that you set a wonderful example of dressing for the occasion! 😆
It’s always nice to hear of budding relationships – you should have a friend for life.
Paul;
I was better dressed than 70% of the other guys there, now all the ladies were dessed to the nines (What does that mean?) .
He seems like a good guy.
It is one step above being dressed to the eights, Paul. 😉
Mr. Martin;
Ouch!
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/dressed-to-the-nines.html
Gary;
Interesting, a good read.
good one
Ron;
Bob has his moments! (lol)
Paul, in the Philippines, the simple act of gifting a bottle of Johnny Black, or similar, to someone who holds a grudge against you, or is jealous of you because you have more money than he does, has the potential to turn an enemy for life into a friend for life.
But, you already knew that, I forgot to add.
John;
The funny part is I re-gifted the bottle of Johnny Black, someone had given to me awhile back, because I don’t like Scotch.
Here is a funny story: At a party at my house I found 3 of my brother-in-law’s pounding down a bottle of Johnny Walker “BLUE” @ $157.00 per. The only part that upset me is that they were mixing it with Coca-Cola. But I said nothing, and let them have their fun.
Where did your brothers-in-law grow up? Alabama? LOL
John;
The Republic of the Philippines, can you believe that?
PAUL all the pictures of you i see you always have nice smile,not this time paul, you look so unhappy,standing next to your car. was it something your wife said?
Steven;
She said; “You’re taking me to the wedding Honey Ko.” Need I explain further? (lol)
Scotch and Coke? I did price the JW Black the other day. Not within my pay scale… It cost more than my rent does. Scotch and Coke? Lord have mercy…
Gary;
When I had my two bars in Puerto Rico the locals would order Chives Regal with milk (I’m not making this up) Oh I’d serve it, but in separate glasses and have them mix it, I just didn’t have the heart too.
I can just sit and read with a greasy smile on my face, you hit the spot with your details. Great reading – i really like your blogposts. I just recognise so many things you write,
Thanks and keep on…
Axel
Axel;
If I caused that smile, my work here is done, It’s past noon, I think I’ll have a beer.
It’s well deserved – and yes, it’s your post that make me smile.
Axel;
Then to you I’ll say; Thank You!”
So Ture! Yeah that the ticket for those guys, my brother in law the oldest son ( king ) was at a birthday party we had, hell we had everything, soda, botteled water, beer, juice, Ice, and foods for all young and old, but no JW or any other wiskey hahah . Of course the king dont drink anything but wiskey, of course he is sitting by himself, with his crew, you know hahaha I had a bag of those mini bar bottels all whiskey I had colleted from my travels, in my bedroom and when I gave that, I was a rock star .hehehe Thanks I have to remmber to bring him a bottel when I come back to davao in Aug. so true brother love the read .
Tom;
Those mini-bottles are great (50cc) I’d buy them in Florida and take them into Disney World, Sea World and a dozen other worlds, and buy cokes and enjoy the day. Walt really should have had a bar in his parks.
My brother-in-laws love that Emparador (Emparaflu) so I keep a case in my man cave for them, with powered Ice Tea for their mixer. I don’t think they liked the Johnny Walker BLUE, but only drank it because that’s Erap’s drink.
Paul,
I’m glad to see the adult beverages were the star of the party lol. Hope you have a nice Memorial Day. I want to thank you and all the other people that have served and that are currently serving our country. This Memorial Day is special for me as it is my last work day. Anne will be flying in Wednesday night. Life is good. Have a nice holiday.
PapaDuck;
Great news about Anne, I hope she has a great time.
Couldn’t stop laughing! Too close to home!
Take care,
Pete
Pete;
It’s the life we chose to live here in the land of the Philippines. I wouldn’t trade it for a trash talking monkey. (Well maybe?) I was blessed to be able to see the humor that abounds in life, and simply point it out.
Hi Paul – Johnny Black will win most people over. It is way better than any local comparison.
Branton;
But the cost of JW Black might be high But a bottle (Longneck) of Emparador (AKA Emparaflu) is only PNP 56.00, it’s such a deal.
What is the origin of the term ‘dressed to the nines’?
One theory is that it comes from the name of the 99th Wiltshire Regiment, known as the Nines, which was renowned for its smart appearance. There are a couple of problems with this suggestion, though. To begin with, the regiment’s sartorial reputation seems to have dated from the 1850s, while the first recorded use of the phrase is from 1837. Secondly, dressed to the nines developed as an extension of the much earlier phrase to the nines, meaning ‘to perfection, to the greatest degree’: the 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary’s first example of this earlier form dates back to 1719.
Why it should have been to the nines rather than to the eights, to the sevens, etc. remains unclear…………..This is from Oxford English Dictionary.
John;
To learn something new every day on is rotating the sun is a goal I’ve always strived for. Thank you for making this day worthwhile and taking the time to let us know..
The only grip I have with the Oxford English Dictionary; is the fact they misspell so many words like Harbour, labour, neighbor, one would think they could get it right.
Tongue –in-cheek, it’s what I do!
Im going to open a school to teach Americans English lol lol.
John;
400,000,000 million in the US, 80,000,000 in the UK, I believe you have a full time job teaching the people who sneak through the Chunnel English, than teaching us…Wait a minute in the States to speak English on the phone you must press #3. Okay we do need the help. (LOL)
Good read. We do Small Acts of Kindness EVERYDAY! Help spread the word! Cheers to you and your readers!
On Call;
Do you try and stop people from drinking, or do you deliver it? I am confused on the name of your group. (I’m not joking here for once)
Always enjoy reading your articles
John
When someone says that, I remember why I like to write them, Thank you!
Have you ever done any professional writing or thought about doing it?
John;
I really never have, back in the days before personal computers I used an IBM Selectmatic, at my job on the ship, I had to write letters to civilians and cause them to solve the ship’s problems by mail from thousands of miles away, I found that I had to write clearly enough so as they could understand our request. (Request hell, we were paying them). Also I had to write evaluations on 25 other sailors that could make or break there advancement. But to do it again as a job, well that’s something I’d not want “A Job”
When Bob (Fearless Leader) asked me a few years ago to write for LiP I thought it would be fun, the optimum word being “FUN” and so far it has been, LiP readers have a shared interest, that being we live in the Philippines, want to live in the Philippines or better yet we are married to a Filipina and live elsewhere. But I’ve found with the exception of about 1% each and every person was a great guy or gal. So as long as it’s fun, tune in every Monday morning and I’ll be here telling a 100% true story about the day to day funny life that can be lead here. It never ends, and I’m glad of that.
Paul, I supposed that all the articles you have submitted to LiP are, for copyright purposes, the property of LiP, correct? With Bob’s permission, of course, you may be able to re-publish an edited compilation of selected articles you have written in the past. I have a friend from New York who solicits articles about the Philippines from people (mostly Filipinos) all over the world for publication. He does all the work in preparing the articles for publication, all you do is send the articles to him. He will split the royalties with you. Let me know if you’re interested, Paul, and I’ll have him contact you privately.
Hi John;
If someone paid me to write, than it would become work, when it becomes work it stops being fun. I gave up working 13 years ago; I’ll not start again, but thank you for your suggestion.
“WORK!!” I’m the Maynard G. Krebs of the retired set; now, who knows who he is???
Dobie Gillis was a must see show in my youth. By the time Gilligan came around I was rapidly losing interest in TV. Bob Denver was a great character actor.
Mike;
“The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” was the beginning of real TV, albeit my Father didn’t see the humor in it, but his 5 sons did.