I got an email and I would appreciate you guys help and comment. I think another one of those scams is going again. The problem is the guy still believes in the lady. Not sure what to say more to the lady that wrote me the email though. I had a similar email before and I had posted about it here. I will just give her the link to that I think.
“I am a lady from the US. I have been reading you and your husband’s blog when I can. I happened to come across your blog just because of my brother’s dilemma. He was married before to an American lady. They got divorced. He befriended a co-worker who happened to be married to a Filipina for a long time. To make the story short, the friend advised my brother to find a bride there in your country. Just talking to the friend and meeting them, they seem very happy. So my brother went online and chatted few ladies until he finally met the love of his life. The lady was from somewhere in Cebu he told me. They were emailing and talking on the phone. My brother also sent money to her often for her daily needs and also bought cell phone.
The lady emailed my brother that she needed money for family emergency. I did not bother to asked my brother about it. None of my business. He sent money for that family emergency. Just a couple of weeks ago the family emailed and called up my brother and said that the lady was in the hospital. She got in an accident. I guess she was riding a scooter. She was badly hurt, that’s what the family member told my brother. My brother was so worried and sent $2000 for the lady for her hospital bills. I don’t really know about hospitalization in your country, I don’t really know if she has insurance. Maybe she had insurance since my brother just sent $2k.
I met a lady in our church. I didn’t bother to know her origin, I just know at that time that she’s Asian. But later upon knowing that my brother had a Filipina fiance, I then asked my friend in the church what country was she from. When she told me that she’s from the Philippines I was happy, at least when my soon to be sister-in-law comes to the States she will have a new filipina friend. That filipina friend that I knew from church she’s really nice. She’s in her mid 50’s. She came to the US 30 years ago. I was talking to her about my brother marrying a Filipina. She’s excited to meet the fiance of my brother just like us too. I’ve been learning a lot about your country through her. She let me taste some of the filipino foods during church get together. Very good. I can’t wait for my brother’s fiance to come. For me and my family to learn some of you guys culture and foods. Anyway, my friend was telling me to contact the hospital that the fiance of my brother was brought. Since I didn’t know anybody in your country my Filipina friend volunteer to let one of her family do it. She did let one of her family contact the hospital for me, the bad news, nobody with the same name of the fiance of my brother was hospitalized on any of the hospitals there in the area where his fiance suppose to live.
Me and my Filipina talked more about the matter and she told me that she heard of so many stories now. Scams that so rampant on the net. She told me that she was spared by that since she went to the States before internet was born. She also told me about a lady with multiple guys on the net to chat with. Some were even gay posing as a woman. She also said that guys from abroad also had many girlfriends in the Philippines. So I told her it goes both ways then. Don’t you think? My friend said that the ways of the girls now in the Philippines is totally different than she was growing up. Why is that? I told her same here in the America too.
My brother still believes in his fiance. I hope that he is right on believing her. I hope my brother is spared by the scam. Thank you for entertaining my email. I hope to hear from you! Ellen”
Cheers!
Ellen,
The hospital story kinda rasies a red flag for me, I was hospitalized in July in Roxas City for 3 days, I was very sick as well as had 17 stiches put into my head. The total bill inlcuding all medicene was $421 US.
Having the family emergency’s that require funds are very common, as most are so poor they can not afford treatment and no money no help. I would advise your brother not send anymore money unitl he pays a visit. Also I have put the following policy in place in regards to sending money. I will help at anytime, I just need to reciept to prove how the money was spent, if I do not get one, never ask for money again. I also ask the same question 50 ways to make sure I get the same answer.
It is sad that there are many scams going on in that country, but trust me, there are just as many woman who are genuine that would never ask for a dime.
Hi Dirk E – Thank you for your advice for Ellen. I am hoping that the brother will open his eyes and see what we saw. I doubt it though.
You are correct that, it’s pretty norm here to put down payment first before the doctor will do anything on the patient. Good advice there too to not give anymore money until the brother comes over here to visit the girlfriend and to get the receipts.
***It is sad that there are many scams going on in that country, but trust me, there are just as many woman who are genuine that would never ask for a dime.***
Amen to that.
I guess for the guys, just really be very careful who they are dealing with.
Thank you for the advice and for stopping by here.
Happy Holidays to you and your family!
Dirk
Good to see your information on Roxas City. We will be moving there in Jan 2013. Would you email your email to me? I would like to inquire with you. [email protected].
Ron
My guess is that it is a scam. I myself fell victim to scammers three times before I arrived here and found the love of my life in person! While it is not uncommon for families to need help or ask for help with a relative, I feel that one should first meet the family in person as well as the fiance before sending large amounts of money. That is just My thoughts on the Issue.
its a scam it just doesnt cost that much there.Call the hospital and ask how much was the bill there or even if that person was ever in the hospital.If a person ask for money right away its a scam and espeicily if you send then they ask for more right away.The biggest scam is a girl saying she cant contact you because her cell is stolen she will ask for about 6000 pesos about $150 but you can buy a cell there for 1000 pesos $25.Also make sure to see the person on cam first every internet cafe has cam if she says no she is not telling the truth and last but not least NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOME ONE YOU HAVE NOT MET.And my best tip is dont meet anyone on the internet when you go there you will see beautiful single girls are falling out of the trees there and you will meet the right one for you.The nicest girls are in the visayas or Mindanao.The best place to meet a sweet honest girl is go to a island away from the city its so much cheaper anyway and find some one so nice you wouldnt think a girl like that still exist .Good luck
Hi Greg – That’s what I want to tell the lady that it’s a scam. But I have to see what all you guys have to say. I don’t want to sound like a judgmental person to her. I’m glad you guys helped me out here what to tell her.
That’s what I heard that provincial ladies were better than the city girl. Well of course I have to agree on that I am a province girl .They call it the bukid girls/ladies. It’s okay that I am from the bukid,Bob and I been married for over 22 years now. I guess Bob were into the bukid girl and loving it I think. 🙂
Nice to see you here and thank you for the advice for Ellen.
Happy Holidays!
HiJoseph (HEY JOE) Stuckey. I’m glad you found the love of your life.
Good advice there for our readers here. I’m hoping that lots of people will be more aware now with the scams going on the net. I felt that our readers needs to be reminded here often regarding this matter though.
Good to see you here.
Happy Holidays!
Has he meet her in person? In any case, he may have just payed for a comfortable baby delivery.
Hi Louis – To be totally honest with you I don’t really know though. I would be surprise if he did too.
Happy Holidays!
To Me i havea different view in that a new BF should not be asked to help in a family emergency, that would have raised a red flag to me immediatly. There is a perseption in many of the provinces that white guys are a walking ATM and i have seen and heard many inisdents were it happens. Thats the down side but there is an update as well there are many nice women who do not want money, i married one myself, if you meet someone and withing a few months they are asking for money or trying to get an offer of money then that is the time to tell the women sorry i dont do that i dont know you well enough and have heard terible storys. The good ones will understand and back off the bad ones will stop chatting and move on to the enxt poor sucker. Either way you know were you are , non of us liek to think that people only stay with us becasue w have money but you do need to understand that in many of the asian women do this as a full time job and have many guys on the go to extract maxium cash while they can as their looks only last so long.
Bottom line go there see who you are chatitng to and better still tell them you are really poor and have very little money yourself, the genuin ones will be fine with that the scammers wont!
Hi Andy – Very good description for Ellen to see being not familiar and never been here and good advice for her brother. I hope he will be seeing the red flag too. I am hoping he is not blinded by supposed to be love to that lady. Sigh…
***Bottom line go there see who you are chatitng to and better still tell them you are really poor and have very little money yourself, the genuin ones will be fine with that the scammers wont!***— Very good advice for the brother….
Good to see you here and thank you for the advice for Ellen.
Happy Holidays!
I know a person here who were married to filifino, who were doing the scam online with the help of her husband. ..many boyfriends online. They send money to her..and every time she is telling me about it with proudness…i’m getting grwwwlll…asking her why are you doing this…she got kids and she using it as an excuse, …to find someone who will provide for the future of her kids….since the hubby is not a good provider and no money at all…Gush…even the kids talking lies over the internet since they were talking with the online boyfriends of her mom…even the kids…grwwlll…
she said all this boyfriend of her got no kids…and they were succumbed to this scam…they send money automaticcaly because as she said they love her kids…the whole family doing it…father, mother and the kids!!! 🙁
Guys online!!! a true woman whatever colour or shape, rich and poor ..will never ask money to a boyfriend to provide for whatever she needs…even a filifina to a boyfriend filifino will not do that..unless it is really badly needed, it is a credit not given…..
The trouble also goes both ways…don’t be showy that you had money and can afford to provide to whatever they can ask….for the relationship were not growing up on material things..but for the respect and love to one another..
I agree, it looks very much like scam. To send money without knowing or have meet the person is not a good idea. I would advice to stop all money transfer and see what happens. If it is serious she will understand that he do this, if it is scam she will surely try and try to get more. Just like Andy say in prev. post.
Where in Cebu is it? I know some people in Cebu, but it is not a small Island, so…
Stop sending money, tell that you are afraid of misuse and that you have to be sure – she should and must respect that, if she insist and keep on “begging” you can be sure it is scam.
Hi Axel – So true. Some were just so blinded by the love for the lady and feeling sorry for her and family…. Sigh…Very frustrating feelings…
Not sure where at in Cebu. I just didn’t ask her back about that.
***Stop sending money, tell that you are afraid of misuse and that you have to be sure – she should and must respect that, if she insist and keep on “begging” you can be sure it is scam.***… For sure..
Thank you for stopping by and the advice for Ellen.
Happy Holidays!
Scam for sure
Hi Andrey – For sure. I don’t think the guy believes on that though.
Good to see you here.
Happy holidays!
Unfortunately, this really does sounds like a classic scam… The lady you met is right, there are scams on both sides, and people get hurt. I am so sorry for your brother. There are nice girls from good families over here, and there are nice, respectful men abroad… finding them is the trick, and as many have already commented, it is a lot easier to see what you’ve got in person.
We have some local friends who are hanging their hopes on at least one of their three daughters marrying a foreigner. A chat friend is coming to visit the eldest daughter soon, and the father is already looking for a house and lot, and a small truck… She is a nice girl, but this looks like a situation where the requests for money will never end.
Hi AmericanLola- Good advice for Ellen. I had a feeling the brother was already so in-love with the girl that he will do everything for her. I am hoping that he will open his eyes and see that it is a scam.
The story you just stated on the second paragraph were so typical now with the families here. Lots of the parents now wants their girl kids to work abroad or find men abroad. When the Japan was still open for Filipinas entertainers, some parents were so into wanting there kids to go there and work or marry the Japanese men. Really sad when some women end up beat up or died abroad because of the employer or something else.
Me and my sister’s were just so lucky I think with my Papa and Mama they don’t want us going abroad. They always said before the money in the Philippines and the money abroad were just the same. They just were not a materialistic people I guess.
Anyway, I’m glad you are good there after what Pablo did. He was bad to some areas here in Davao.
Happy holidays to you and your family!
SCAM… A true filipina will not ask for money until she is comfortable in the relationship and she knows it will lead to marriage. I tested my wife in the beginning by offering to send money for certain things. She refused it and then I knew she’s whole hearted. Some of the scammers are even married. The husband is sitting beside them telling them what to say. Most Filipina’s are happy with small amounts of money.
Hi Daniel Paquette – Yep , the red flag sign was there. The guy just missed it or wanting to miss it I guess, blinded by his love for the girl. At the end he will end up with broken heart and really broke. Hopefully it won’t go to that though.
I saw on FB that you and Elvie is expecting a baby. Congratulations to both of you. Good Christmas present. Sleep really good before the baby comes. 🙂
Happy Holidays to you and Elvie!
Until you meet someone face to face, it doesn’t matter how many emails or chats you’ve had, that person is still a stranger.
Scams work both ways. I’ve chatted with several Filipinas on CB who told me they chatted with men who told the Filipina that they loved them and they were going to marry them. They tell them these things for sex with they vacation in the Philippines. When the men get back home….ooops, they forgot to mention they are married and they won’t be emailing anymore. Shameful behavior.
Feyma,
I think we all know it is a scam. The problem is that the “heart wants what the heart wants”. You can only offer advice, but if he does not want to believe it, the scam will go on. Really a shame because there are so many really good ladies there who would make him a fine wife.
A BIG RED FLAG for me is when someone does not want to talk about the problem with me and just wants me to hand over the cash. Sitting down and talking about the problem gives me a chance to come up with creative solutions to problems that may not need cash to execute.
Being a woman, I’ve noticed men as a rule don’t actually want to talk about problems. And the truth of the matter is, men are vulnerable when they themselves want something from the woman. If you are this kind of a man, you deserve what you get. Don’t blame the woman for taking the money and running. But if your heart is truly in the right place, then prove it by taking the time to listen.
Mimi Dearest, Put that way, I have to agree with you! I have never been in the position to get or ask for money from a man–I’ve worked all my life. But, as you say that “if you are this kind of man, then you deserve what you get.” And also I agree with Ar Lyn!!!
blessed day to all,
Just want to share a bit of my opinion of the post.
I’m a 22 year old filipina ,in a relationship with a 45 year old Kano.
We met online, physically met on March 2011. and now were getting stronger. 🙂 He visited me 5 times already. Probably see him once again Feb. or March next year 🙂
When we started chatting, I mentioned to Him, that yes, I came from a typical poor family in the Phil. I did not do it to make him feel pity for me and expect Him to send me money. I did it so because I am honest. I never asked money from Him. Although I badly needed it.
But then, even we haven’t meet yet, he already sent me small amount, before I knew it, he already sent it. So what can I do? Nothing else but to accept it, to accept and offer is an insult 🙂 hehehe.. Anyways, even before I know he’s not rich, but I told Him, so?? I am not looking for someone to be my walking ATM. I need and want someone to be with, with real intentions.
about the post, dude, you can easily determine if that girl you’re talking/chatting to is/are scammers, if they talk about money as early as you just started chatting, then its a sign. It’s your control, don’t send money to stranger, as simple as that.
I know for sure this is a lesson learned for you. so for any other guys.
better be careful and cautious next time, but don’t give up there are still women exist who are real and not a gold-digger ( oh I’m so proud, I dont belong to that group). My hubby is thankful about it 🙂 God bless all, lyn25
One of my rules is NEVER to accept money or expensive gifts from men even when the offer is unsolicited.
I even refuse to have them pay for coffee on the first date. Maybe this is because I was sent to the US for my undergraduate degree and I was literally the ONLY female in an engineering class of 130 males. My father chose the program. I did not. But unfortunately, I had the math grades to be accepted into the program.
My classmates treated me like their “practice” date. They’d take me out and expect a kiss or more afterwards. Since I spent 13 years of my life in an exclusive girl school in the Philippines BEFORE I entered this exclusive BOY school environment in the US, I was quite naive and accepted anyone who asked me out. There was no one I could ask if it was impolite to turn down an invitation from a man I was NOT particularly attracted to or even how does one kiss someone who is twice my size without having to sit on his lap.
One day, after the first date, this guy asked me out again. He was a gangly 6 footer to my optimistic 5′ and I barely weighed 92 lbs back then. When I reached my dorm room, I blurted out a “No, thank you” without thinking very hard about it. He rammed his fist through the dry wall.
My younger sister was my dorm mate at the time and she (mercifully) walked in on us. It was truly embarrassing to have to report the damage to the wall to the RHA (residence hall advisor).
But I decided after that incident I would only date the men I like. And just so I would not feel that I owed a man ‘something’ just because he spent on my dinner, I also make it clear to the man that dinner has to be ‘dutch’. I will not have a man spend on dinner if I really cannot bear the thought of even kissing him. And it is frankly dangerous for a woman my size to trifle with men’s affections.
Just my two cents.
Scam
Scam for sure
Dear Feyma, Bob and LIP Friends,
after all, nobody knows yet what really happened to the girlfriend. However, it is unbelievable with all information available on the internet, someone can still be fooled.
These contacts comes from africa, oriental europe, anywhere.
Personally, I do not believe in “cyberlove.” I believe that a relationship over the internet should remain online. If this relationship has a cost, which is dosed according to the availability and willingness of each one.
I never go into a relationship fast this way, I think thats the why Im still alone eheheh 🙂 many girls want to immediately become wives or girlfriends and then started the most misplaced bids. So go slow, so it goes to far …..
Ok when you arrive to meet take her to the mall, have lunch together and chatt, meet …. if she immediately asks you a laptop or a P20000 cellphone, she is not a good company…
I found that the longlasting successful relationships between Pinays and foreigners usually began abroad, both worked, went through the period of knowledge, got married, had children and then returned to the Philippines usually the wife wish and / or economic convenience.
I hope all is well with his girlfriend…
Cheers!
I Love Philippines!
Too many comments mostly saying the same thing really. Wrong head thinking when foreigners send money without heeding the alarm bells that MUST be clanging away in the background.
In the situation where she is supposedly in hospital following an accident, it really should always be dealt with by saying “yes, I will help, just give me the name of the hospital and I will contact them immediately and make whatever arrangements”…but hey, there are stories like this every week, and another crazy guy will fall for it and like the proverbial fool, be parted easily from his money.
I do hope that this turns out to be a genuine case though.
Jim
Feyma,
I have to agree that this is a scam! I feel kinda stupid myself because I have fell for this scam before in my own back yard and this was before i started looking in the Philippines for my true love. The woman was suppose to be from Houston,TX and I’m in Dallas,TX area which is only about 4 hours drive and I was new to the internet dating after being married 26 years. Anyways started out with emails and even talked to her on the phone but never on cam didn’t know anything about that stuff then the money with only wanting a little money at first then the “accident”? Then a doctor called said that she was brought in to the hospital from an accident on her way to the airport to come home, the thing is he gave me his name long story short found out a lot about him just from his name and the woman i talked to on the phone was his wife. The things that you learn a long the way about scams, as for me similar to the guy mention in the email I too had a friend who was married to a Asian woman but from Hong Kong instead of the Philippines and that’s where my adventure started with looking for women in the Philippines. From my experiences always make sure you can a least see them on cam so you know who your talking to, if they ask for money,phone,ect. up front that’s usually a flag that’s anywhere not just in the Philippines and always go with your gut feelings because there usually right. As for me I have met all 3 of the Filipino women that i have had a relationship of course at different times, the first one was for 5 months never ask for money or anything but before i went to see her found out she had another man coming to see her 3 days before i was to arrive, she lost a lot of friends over that one! The second one was a friend of the first one and I ended up marring her but after two years it didn’t work out after she got here to the states (another story in it’s self) and the third one was given all my information from the first one! she was more a person who i could talk to as a friend (another story) The third one is here with me now yes i married her but i feel like this one will last forever she is totally different from the other two. Kinda hard to explain how this happen I could right a book about just those three and how it all became to what it is now. I know i kinda got off the topic a little here but I thought to tell what some people go threw when having long distance relationships and the scams that come with them that could lead that person losing a lot of money and being embarrassed.
Thanks,Todd
Holy Red Hot Dawgs !!! Appears to be a super scam draining that kanos ATM, then moving on to more fertile grounds when the ATM runs dry…Yikesssss!!! Run Forrest Run!!!!!
Exactly my thoughts…
Everyone talks about a red flag because the girl asks for money. To me, the REAL red flag is when your chatmate sends you her picture that looks like the person in the picture above. LOL I mean, come on guys, are you really that blinded by love? If you place your fingers on the picture below the person’s neck, you’re looking at a picture of a man! If you’re that hard up, buy yourself a rubber mannequin – it will never ask you for money. LOL
looked on ebay and amazon but could not find one…suggestions? …ahem..its for my brother…..heheh
have him read this bolg for a week befooore he chats with anymore filipinas. He will thank you a thousand ttimes for the advice !!
I have found this site very helpful. You can search pics also. It cost $17.50 but well worth it.
http://www.stop-scammers.com/signup.asp?reg=country
Would say it is probably a scam but with the influx of Filipinas and the many Filipinos immigrating to the States he should ask one of them to introduce one of their relatives. In fact I have family members of all ages that are also trying to meet husbands abroad and I guarantee they are good honest Filipinas. That is the way many of my American friends have met their wives.
The sad part for this guy and probably many others is after getting used up by this woman is that he will most likely by soured by the bad experience. He will be missing out on perhaps and wonderful chance with a Filipina of charactor. The best advise I received when I was writing my wife and other ladies was if they ask for money excuse yourself and move on. My wife was embarassed when after meeting in person and spending time together then deciding to marry I offered to buy her a pair of $4 shoes.
its really sad that you heard from some foreigners and also from somebody that ever
now and then filipina got involved in this kind of doings….i feel so sorry to those foreigners visiting the philippines and just only want is to meet their love filipina gf in person. i have short story for all readers of this site.. that i met also my fiancee through online website, were just chatted few months ago which is last june of 2012
then as far as i’ve know, he really have a plan to come and visit the philippines and just last october 20, 2012, i picked him up at the airport and i offered him not to stay longer in hotel instead stay in my place… from the very beginning i told to papa duck
that iam the kind of woman always save even a peso… i never asked from him even
a single centavo…i cooked for him when we have no something important to do
outside the house…but because of his good heart.. papa duck bought a lots of food for the people here inside the house, but of course i still save peso, i cooked some
instead to buy all of things.. were bought ice cream, cakes lechon manok, and coke.
papa duck always offered something for me to make me happy but i always refused.. because i dont need material things.. just i want from him is honesty and true love… this is unforgetable and beautiful affair that i met my love of my life through website. and please for those filipina looking bf or husband through online… best tips, respect yourself and be have dignity as a woman to gain respect from the guy who you wanted to be in one., and for sure for the short period of time
the wedding bell clang clang……lol
Thank you for a beautiful love story, Anne. And, here’s for you and Papa Duck with all my best wishes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVNWeeKoHEw
John Reyes
Salaza, Palauig, Zambale
thank you john…
john… the music that you posted here is my parents theame song…
thanks again and have a nice day..
Anne,
Couldn’t have said it any better. You truly are the real deal and i’m very lucky to have you. And your also from the city. So the city still has some good filipinas. Mrs Feyma, That is a scam if i ever saw one. Like everyone else above says. Never send money before meeting in person. Anne never asked for anything and also spent alot of her own money on my recent visit there. Her parents did an excellent job raising her. Have a nice day.
Wow Feyma, lots of posts. Seems you struck a sore subject with most people. I only want to add that just recently my niece spent four days in the hospital in Calbayog City. The total bill was p16,000 of which Philhealth paid p14,000. My wife and I helped out by giving p2000 for the balance. I think the poor guy is getting played.
Just want to add one more thing as you probably read above my post, in the end i did find the best thing that ever happen to me after going threw 2 others now wished now I’d went to see her (my wife now) first, I still get people saying why would you do this again? I say because look what i have now! They see how my wife takes care of me and wishing they had woman like her or wished their wives did the same. One thing i know from my experiences that city girls are city girls and the girls from the how we say it the farm are farm girls and they seem appreciate things a lot more than city girls not saying all city girls are gold diggers there are goods ones out there but a lot harder to find.
An older blog but still an important warning for those looking for love.
The warning is for both foreigner and for Filipina.
I have met my true love and she comes from Samar but I met her in Korea.
Before sending any money, if you are serious and think it is love, then jump on a plane.
If you this is too much commitment then it probably is not true love.
There are many loan and pawn shops. If the is TRULY AN EMERGENCY, then tell your fiance to get the money locally and you will fix the debt… Give her a pleasant surprise and get the next flight to the Philippines…(if you really believe her) and then see how genuine she is.
If genuine, nothing will cement the relationship like this experience, if not genuine, you have saved yourself a lot of money, time and wasted emotions… turn the trip into opportunity… but go to a different city – as far away from your scammer as possible.
Good luck to you all – both foreigners and Filipinas. This blog proves that genuine love can be found – but be realistic. The picture above… hmmm
On a final note, there are reverse image look up on internet.
Tineye and Google offer free services.
I was once given an image of a nice busty asian girl and when I did a reverse lookup, I found this image in many places on the internet. When I confronted her about it, she agreed and then provided her “real” *swimsuit* picture… but who can believe someone after trust is broken? MOVE ON ASAP!
Help on reverse image look up can be found here;
https://support.google.com/images/answer/1325808?hl=en
Do not rely on reverse image lookup though, it might be a new picture that has not been indexed yet…
All the best!
Regards,
Jc