In my previous article, “That’s it. I’ve had enough.” I wrote about how I’ve decided to move back to the States. As many of you, no doubt guessed, the article was an April Fools Joke! Yes, it’s true, that was just a joke, and I have no intention of leaving the Philippines. I will, unless something happens that I don’t expect, live in the Philippines for the rest of my days.
You know, though, if you really look at what I wrote, the reasons that I gave for wanting to leave are reasons that a lot of people give every day.
You can’t fit into society. I hear this from people all the time. Well, for many it is true. But, the thing you have to remember is that it is you who is coming to a different country, and it is you who has to make adjustments in order to fit in here. It’s that simple. As I often say, you can’t expect 90 Million Filipinos to change in order to fit your expectations. You have to change to fit in. Or, if you don’t want to change, that is your choice, but don’t expect to fit into society if you are unwilling to mold yourself to society’s expectations.
You can’t earn money in the Philippines. I hear this every day of my life here, and frankly, it’s crazy. How can I say that? Well, for 7 of my 9 years living in the Philippines I have been earning good money. Frankly, after just 2 years here, I ran out of money, and I had to either go back to the States, or figure out how to correct the problem and start earning a living here. I chose to start learning how to do it. So, for 7 years now, I’ve been proving those naysayers wrong. So, I know that you can indeed earn a living here in the Philippines.
You can’t learn the langauge. I hear from a lot of people who say “I’m too old to learn a new language.” That’s bunk. You learn new stuff everyday. Instead, you should say “I’m too lazy to learn a new language.” Yes, I can believe that, and agree that many people are just too lazy to get it done. But, you can do it if you try. Frankly, it goes back to reason #1, if you learn even a small amount of the langauge, you will fit in better as part of society, and you will have a much happier life. How do I know? Because I’m doing it myself. As I said yesterday, I have been studying Bisaya for nearly 2 years. I am happier, and I fit in a lot better. I enjoy my life much more. You know what, my class is only 1 hour per week, and you can do it too. Maybe you’ll have to cut back on your tv time, or drinking time by an hour per week, but frankly, doing either of those will probably make you happier too, so do it! I am learning to speak the language, but even if you just learn a bunch of everyday phrases, that’s a step! Do it!
The food is terrible. Well, there is a lot of Filipino food that I am not crazy about, but there is good Filipino food too. Also, while buying imported products is indeed expensive, a lot of foreign foods can be made with fresh local ingredients. Again, it’s a matter of not being lazy, and doing something to improve your life. Just do it (isn’t there some kind of commercial with that slogan?).
Massive corruption will make your life hell. Frankly, there is corruption everywhere in the world, although it can take different forms, depending on where you are. To be honest, in my daily life, it is rare that corruption touches my life. In fact, I’m sitting here thinking and I can’t remember the last time that I feel that my life was changed in any way by corruption. Is there corruption here? Yes indeed. Does it have to rule your life? Not at all.
OK, so those are the reasons I gave for leaving the Philippines in my April Fools article. All of these reasons are things that I honestly hear from expats almost daily here in the Philippines. Each of these things are frankly minor things that you can change if you are willing to. Being lazy and sitting around coming up with such excuses is just another matter of complaining, which I also wrote about this week in an article entitled “The Complainers“. So, do you want to complain and live an unhappy life? Or, would you prefer to be a little less lazy, be proactive and make some changes to make your life happier? Hey, I’m not being mean by saying that people who don’t change are lazy, I’ve been there myself! I have been one of the complainers. I’ve complained that things are not good here. I’ve run out of money and had to get off my rear end and earn a living. Been there, done that, and decided to change. You can too, if you are willing.
You’ll be a lot happier too.
Nope, I’m not going anywhere. I am writing this article before seeing the comments on my April Fools article, so I can’t be sure how many people took it seriously, but some probably did. Many regular readers, though, know me well enough that I am sure they would not believe what I wrote about leaving the Philippines.
I’m staying… are you? If you aren’t yet living here, are you coming? When?
Hi Bob,
All I can say is… whew…. edge of the seat till 5pm.
So, how was the server load till 5pm local? Many must have gone through the refresh button on their browsers.
Yep Sir BOb ithink you caught a few people with their pants down. Good on you China we can all do with a good laugh in this day and age.But shucks if you had gone i was hoping to get that piece of land you have in Samal island at a good price. Now i will have to look else where.
hi bob,
At first I almost believe your april's fool article, and I told myself to just keep silent until you make some sort of official announcement, You literally glued me to my computer waiting for that "official Announcement", I just couldn't understand the reasons you raised and it doesn't make sense to me at all.
It is a relief to hear that you don't have any plans of leaving the philippines.
anyway, I totally agree with all your post, most expats tend to complain because they expect the country to adjust for them, and they don't give much effort to adjust themselves.
Here's a tip to learn the language, There are 365 days in a year, if you will just learn one word a day, you can learn the entire language in a matter of months, or better yet, write the new word you want to learn in a piece of paper and stick it on your door or somewhere you will notice it for the entire day.
Hi Bob
I know you are a pioneer and you website has helped me and others
make important decissions about the living here, there are thorns
in every rose bush but you and Fema have gave back to your comunity
wether it computers at the school or your christmas food drives,
At least here you know its good to be needed,its all about Karma
Hi Bob,
You have seen how many comments you got on that April Fools blog. Sure brought a lot of your readers "out of the woodwork", ones that have not left comments before. Shows how popular you are.
If you went back to the States we'd all shrivel up and die!
Good joke! So we don't expect to hear any more "complaining" from you – at least for another year! 🙂
Good one, Bob! You definitely had me on the edge of my seat here! All I can say is WHEW! Well done, now I will breath a sigh of relief. 🙂
See you in a few days!
Hi Henry – I'm glad you enjoyed the little April Fools joke, and also got my point that I was trying to make. See you soon!
Doh!
I thought it was an April Fool's joke to start with but then I must admit I really didn't think you would flirt with your readers' feelings.
I loved some of the reactions but I bet those readers who had bought land on Samal island or are planning to move to the RP suffered some severe angst while waiting for your retraction. I like a risk taker – keep up the good work.
Hi Michael – As I said in other comment replies, part of my reasoning for writing the "joke" was to kind of prove my point about the complainers, and also to show that the things they constantly complain about are not really that serious of issues anyway. I didn't really want or intend to hurt anybody's feelings, rather to make a point, and also it tied in nicely with April Fools, which after all is the Holiday of the Internet!
I had a feeling there was a point to yesterdays little joke. If you will indulge me..
YOU CAN,T FIT INTO SOCIETY.. Hell I didn,t fit into it when I was back home anyway!
YOU CAN,T EARN MONEY.. True if you,re wearing blinkers, but just think out side the box a little, although it,s still tough if you got nothing to start with, like me.
YOU CAN,T LEARN THE LANGUAGE.. I used tagalog words in Cebu and they just looked at me. Maybe it was the accent or maybe I asked to kiss his mother i,m not sure.
THE FOOD IS TERRIBLE.. Only at jolly bee! And it can,t be as bad as my cooking! If it,s bad leave it and try something else. Still can,t get enough lumpiang shanghai, or crispy pata or lechon or grilled pusit or etc etc.
CORRUPTION.. I love being able to pay off a traffic cop,(Maybe I shouldn,t have said that). Try that back home and they,ll lock you up.
I know people who have said those things, usually when times are hard ,it,s easy to vent your spleen. We all do it to some degree. I can always tell when my girl gets sressed or down she reverts back to eating with her fingers and putting bagoong on everything!
Hi Daryl – Firstly, you shouldn't speak Tagalog words in Cebu. Cebuanos despise tagalog, and it is much better to speak English if you don't know any Bisaya words.
Yeah, I love lumpia too! There is, indeed plenty of good food here.
Bob – Braodband went down in Heavan so I'm reborn. Will be in Phil @ Easter for a month and will try and catch up with you.
A little scary hairy there Bobby boy ! ! ! .. For the first couple of sentences . It was cool and you give some very good reasons when You wanted to leave ..But I didn't think you could leave your sacred durian.. Hope to be there in may if all goes will …Phil n Jess
..Bob if I were there I'd slap ya then buy u lunch. I got about 3 hrs sleep thinking to myself…if he can't cut it,then what makes me think I could retiring there. Looks like its a 6 cupper (coffee..no wait make those expressos ) today…I'll send ya the bill.
sign me relieved !
Turkey!
Hi Nicholas – If there are problems like that in Heaven, I'm not sure where to go next! Glad you made it back, and I will look forward to meeting you.
Hi Phil – It would indeed be hard to give up the durian!
Hi brian – at first you seemed to know it was a joke, but as the hour grew later, I could tell you were getting nervous! 😆 Glad to put you at ease! Enjoy those expresso shots!
Bob,
You Son if a B__ch, I read most of your responses and were so coy.
I was realy worried today, if you give up, can I make it here.
Thank you for being here for us and your help and friendship to me.
Hello Bob.
I like your joke, and I tip my hat to you for your collumn, to wich I totally agree. If only all refugees and emigrants (legal and illegal)would have the same attitude as you, we would not have any problems with integration in this world.
Thank you also for letting us, who have not left our homeland, understand, that things take time, and we have to give all a little slack in our expectations to them. They may not be perfect in speaking the language, or they may not understand the culture, but as long as they try to learn it is ok to me.
Hi Preben – Thank you for your continual support, I always enjoy hearing from you. That is very true that even though none of us can ever be perfect, trying is a huge step toward integration.
Hehe!I knew right away that it was an April Fools joke. A good one Bob, but no cigar!
I figured as much as you love the Philippines and the respect you have for your readers, you wouldn't leave in that manner and being it was April 1st, it's not hard to figure out it was a joke. 🙂
The reasons you wrote about "leaving" shows us that many Expat, not just in the Philippines most of us give. So in the words of my dear husband KanoDoug, "Live in the Philippines not just BE in the Philippines"!
Hi Miss August – Your husband's attitude and mine are quite similar, I think. There are a lot of expats who don't really live in the Philippines they exist here. Even though they live here, they don't experience what the Philippines is all about. They isolate themselves to only being around other expats. Why move here for that? Maybe they should move to Florida or Arizona for that.
Anyway, yes, I love the Philippines, and I love the readers of this site too. Even though I sometimes disagree with some comments, I still enjoy interacting with those who share their thoughts here, and I usually learn something most every day because of that interaction.
Thanks for your comment.
Yeah, OK. You got me a little.
Hi Allen – 🙂 The way I see it, instantly almost everybody thought it was a joke, but as the day went on quite a few people started wondering, and thinking it might be true. So, I would say that I got most people a little, like you.
Thanks for reading my site. I hope you enjoy it.
All i can say is that I am relieved that you are not really leaving. I was already starting to get sad. Got us there Bob!
Hey Bob,
Just actually found your site yesterday- I'm a 25 year old Canadian living and working in Makati. Spent a good portion of my day today reading your previous entries and I'm glad you're sticking around- I enjoy the insight, especially when Mindanao seems like another world away from the city here.
Cheers,
Bob,
You know I have loved your site since I found it years ago and a daily reader. I do not comment on everything, just where I feel to through in my 2 centavos.
One of my biggest worries was if you were going back, if your daughter had all her papers to go with you.
I am surprised Louis didn't comment. I know he is in Florida but has access. Maybe he fell over with a heart attack.
Oh thanks God Kuya Bob you're not leaving. 😆 Keep it up Kuya! 😉
See and I was going to trade houses with ya Bob haha always enjoy reading your column !
Maayong Buntag Bob,
I was hoping that your comments were just in fun for April 1st,
But you ever know ,maybe somthing changed. Good to hear you were just fooling around. However the points you make are concerns i have been thinking about.
I am looking foreward to the day i also can say i live in the Philippines.Hope to see you in Davao City later this year.
Ralph
Aw man! And they were non-refundable tickets, too.
Bob
You got me. I didn't believe it at first till it turned over to the 2nd of April and you still hadn't changed your tune. I didn't for a minute believe the excuses you gave though I was afraid something bad had happened you and didn't want to talk about. I'm glad all is well but you really should read up on the whole April fools thing its supposed to be only on the 1st ;).
The most unbelievable one was the food. While I do get tired of soy sauce and to much actually bothers me, I miss good beef at a low price too but their is plenty of good food there and unless you cook in the US its gotten rather bad in the last couple decades. Almost everything in the US is so heavily processed its actually bad for you. I think I mentioned when we met that you cant even find a loaf of bread in the US without soy products in it, at least not at the grocery.
And the money thing. You aren't going to find a good paying job that's for sure but even if I were in perfect health I wouldn't want one and I really believe their are better small business opportunities in the Philippines than the US. The last 30 years has seen a lot of laws to squeeze out the little guy in favor of those with political clout and it seems to be getting a lot worse with the new administration. I may get a wake up call after getting more experience but coconut farming appears WAY more profitable than anything I have come across in the US with less work than most things and I have several other ideas to try.
I'm not that experienced having only lived there a year but the corruption thing looks like it varies from one location to another its a matter of finding the right place.
As for fitting in I never did that in the states I think I will try harder there though.
The language may be an issue for me with my difficulty learning things that don't really excite me since becoming ill (attention span isn't what it used to be) but I do intend to give it a try.
It probably was good for a lot of us to have second thoughts about moving there as you often mention most don't make it.
Bob,after reading all the comments here,i figured it was an Aprils fools joke,..you almost had me…lol
Can't wait to get back to Phils,I really love it there.
me and my fiancee will be planning a Phils wedding and also here in the states.
Everyone here in LIP will be invited!
I knew you weren't going anywhere! And thank goodness – your site reminds me that there are still good things in the Philippines. Though my own experiences when I was young was limited to the Luzon area, I know there are beautiful places in other parts that I've never seen. Hopefully in the future I'll be able to rediscover my birth country.
Welcome back to the Philippines Bob!!!
mindanao bob ( the real joker ) maybe you should have played the joker in the batman movie. you are the man ( joker )
Manong Bob, gi-kuyawan gud ko kaayo kagahapon. Karon peaceful (don't know the Bisaya for that!) na ang akong huna-huna. I'm very relieved you're not going.
I only found out today you're in Davao. Last year was the very first time I clapped eyes on Davao. We had a stop-over in Davao and the first Phil. soil I touched since 22 years ago. Looking down from the plane, I couldn't help but shed a tear that my country (I can say that because I will be dual soon!) really is beautiful.
Hi Bob, I like your sense of humour! I too was nearly fooled by your april fools prank, but I do see the serious side and I have also came across those negative ex-pats here. As a matter of fact I came across one the other day while visiting Surigao(yes I did drive up there bob, re:email I sent you). His gripe was more about that issue of security here in Mindanao, saying to me that a lot of ex-pats had moved out of the area because of kidnapping fears. I told him I do not have any concerns, especially in Davao, he told me he would not even go there! I just laughed, what else can you do? Cheers, Jason
Hi Bob, yeah I kind of got the feeling he was some sort of expert! Haha, Jas
Hi Bob,
I omitted to mention that you caused a mini international incident yesterday. Having previously dismissed the RP as a possible retirement destination for most of the reasons you originally posted, lately I had started to swing around, mainly as a result of the optimism from your site. My asawa who is from Mindanao insists she would not leave the lucky country to return to the RP and when she saw your post she was all over me saying "see I told you it is no good there, even Bob is leaving after all that time!". Can you imagine the smile I gave when I showed your retraction later that evening 😀
One humble request – in the future I would be very interested in posts about life in Baguio. Is there a possibility of getting a writer from that neck of the woods?
Love the site even more now there is an element of cheeky fun.
Well done Bob. Even though I didnt get caught out as I am only reading your article now ( I am not a daily computer user) I quickly realized you were joking, and I think you tied your joke in well with the subject of the complainers.
Can you imagine giving up your "celebrity" status in R.P to be plain old Bob Martin in the States!!!! he he. Also after 9 years in R.P could you imagine walking down the street and not seeing all the smiling faces (especially the kids)and all the beautiful woman… need I say more?????
Bob, I liked the twist you made on your april fool's day joke. I am glad though that you are not moving away….i have been one of your avid reader even though I do not read everyday…hehehe..I do not control my free time…..
You are right, we can't change things that are beyond our power. We however can do something about our attitudes and character…thanks for your article…I think you should be a Filipino citizen someday..hehehehe..
You are the master. I went straight to the bottom to look for the April Fools, that wasn't there. Like the others, I could hardly wait for your next day post. Recalling that you write many posts at one time I hoped that this was how it would "work out"
As for the complainers, in my youth an old Sergeant Major in the Army told me one day, "Don't start worrying until the troops STOP complaining." That statement seems to have some application.
Your retail products are good but your blog products are outstanding. Keep up the great work! You are definitely an encouragement.
R L
Greetings, Bob!
Ha! Ha! Yes, it's been a while! It's been a while I haven't posted any comments because I have been pre-occupied lately…Well…Nevertheless, I still enjoy and get interested at everybody's articles, reading them even if I'm in the office!-including the one about the touchy subject on "Nicole", VFA, and all that. (And, despite the global financial crisis, I'm still quite busy at work though.)
Well, in your last "farewell" article, I was about to bid you farewell and wish you a renewed life in the United States-jokingly that is! Ha! Ha! Happy April Fools! 😀
Hi again, Bob – Well, I guess you've validated your importance on the internet and, specifically, as "Mindanao Bob"! 220+ comments on the 4/1 column, 70+ on this column. You ARE a man of great importance.
Perhaps, instead of calling you "Mindanao Bob" we should call you "Datu Bob"!
😆
Bob u are truely evil ……..u have no idea the amount of distressed I suffered that nite. ( LOL )
hellow bob, hope you are doing well. when i read your site the other day i was nervice for about 3 minnets. thats about how long it took me to reflect on all your past entries. thats the time i new it was a joke. by the way i uploaded some photos last week and i hope to possibly meet you next december, thats when we are setting our gole to travel again. take care.
Hi Bob,
Hahaha, you were right in your April's fool article and you are right in this article as well. I live in Philippines because it is close to Australia and I have Aust. passport. However if I was an American like you, I would live in a latin country like Panama for example. I like Spanish language and music and good red wine – which is in short supply in here.
hi bob,
i love your article, all the response from the readers,etc.. it gives more insight and open eyes not only for foreigners as well as to all filipino's especially in luzon part.
actually,i grew up in cabadbaran city and presently my family live in cagayan de oro. and i love this place.
while reading your blog, i forgot the time…. now i can highly recommend this site especially to those people think that mindanao is dangerous place.
good luck and god bless you & your family
rye from canada
april 5,2009
Hi Bob – Finally landed back in Canada after 4 months in southeast Asia. First time I've had to check in on your website for quite awhile. Your April 1st article was too funny!!! However, had I not met you in person down in Davao, you probably would have had me going too.hehe Anyone that has met you or gotten to know you here online would know that the chances of you moving back stateside is somewhere between slim and none.
Thanks to you, still thinking about the RP as a place to hang my hat down the road. Hope all is well with you. Give my best to Feyma and the family.
Trev
Hi Trevor – Nice to hear from you, I'm glad that you made it home safely. Glad you enjoyed my April Fools articles! 😉
Manong Bob, maayong hapon. Abi nako human na ug post ang mga tawo diri?
Labi gyud na mo-tambok ang imong pitaka! he, he, 🙂
Maayo man pud Manong Bob. Salamat sa imong pangumusta. Kapoy kaayo mangi-nabuhi uy! Maayo pa ka. I wish I can retire now too. Oh well, for now I'm just content to visit my beloved PI.
Ikaw gyud Manong Bob, humble kaayo. 🙂 Nganong nasuko man katong tawo nga bag-ong nag-post, nasuko sa imong kumedya sa Abril uno. Seryoso kaayo……
Hi Christine – Whew! Bisaya kaayo. Nagpractice kaayo ko sa akong bisaya! Ambot ko nganong nasuko sya sa akong kumedya sa Abril uno, pero buang sya, di ba? Ayo ayo…
Sus! nindot pud nimong mag-binisaya uy! Mura gud ug native, 🙂
If you didn't have a pic, I'd say it's a native born, LOL! 🙂
My brother sent me an English – Visayan dictionary. It's actually easier to write than speak because with writing, you've got time to think and look up words. Also I'm learning bit by bit in your forum. It's a kind of interactive learning.
Siguro kulang-kulang katong tawo. Seryoso kaayo. Sige ayo-ayo ka pod. Mangi-nabuhi na pod ko ugma. Maayo ka pa. I'm envious, but I don't think I can make a living in the Phil. with what you do. I'll probably find myself in the beach daily! 🙂
Hi Christine – Wow, thanks for the compliment. Next time that I didn't do my homework, I'll make sure that Bebe (my teacher) reads your comment, then she can't be too hard on me! 😆
Yes, I find writing Bisaya a lot easier than speaking it. I don't look up too many words, but writing gives you time to think what you will say, and sometimes I have to say something other than what I really want to say, because I am not sure how to say what I really want! 😉
When you really want something, Christine, you'd be surprised that you can figure out how to make a living doing things you enjoy. I have a saying that I use often – "follow your passion and the money will follow."
I'll have you know I read that "I'm outta here" article on April 6th here in the US! I must have stared at it for 15 mins before I bothered to check the posting date. Arrgh! you gave me a heart attack Bob! 😆 I've been in the US for almost a month now and I can say I CAN'T WAIT TO BACK HOME!!!!
Hi brspiritus – 😆 I can see how that would really get somebody who reads it after April fools day.
HI markus – There are lots of foreigners living in Zamboanga City. Don't believe everything you read in the newspapers. The City is relatively safe. No city anywhere in the world is perfectly safe. I would have no qualms about living in Zamboanga.