Beware the ides of March I commented last week, little did I know that it would jump up and bite me square on the butt. It was Friday the 15th I was puterin’ away as happy as a clam at a New England Clam Bake. Dumb as dirt and just a huntin’ and a peckin’ on my keyboard writing my article for my Fearless Leader Mindanao Bob, the LiP guy. WOW! Now he knows that I always write them at the last minute, as that’s what works for me.
I did notice that my internet was cutting in and out, but I knew that the magical people at Globe were updating the service in my area, so I didn’t give it a second thought. Saturday morning I was uploading pictures for my article to Yahoo when I noticed it only put on one picture and rejected the rest. Mmmm kinda’ odd! Then I went to WordPress to upload my story, and 20 minutes and three tries later it was done. Off to Facebook, now this is where I knew I was up that proverbial creek sans a proper paddle. Nothing, zip, nada, zippo, I’m locked out of the World Wild Web .It was the end of the world as I knew it.
I took my dongle into the other room and hooked it up to my wife’s tablet and it is just putterin’ away. As happy as a kid in my purok with 10 pesos clutched in his or her little hand standing in front of a Sari-Sari (Store). But neigh it just would not work on my dinosaur, many times rebuilt, Puter. Okay now you non-genius with a puter “Paul”, what are you gonna’ do now?
The answer popped in to my head as quick as a bullet fired from a Diane Feinstein’s accursed assault weapon, “Call Joel, my puter guy!” And while I’m off line I’ll go to my epub books and make sure they all have covers and have been converted to the correct format, while I’m there I might as well put them in order from the first to the last order they were published in. Yes I’m a tad anal retentive. But now I can read all my favorite authors in order, all twelve hundred books.
Sunday morning, Jayden and his mother are off to church. I’m having coffee in the kitchen with my darling Mayang, and Joel the puter guy is at the door. I go outside and Moto-San my large white Japanese Spitz lifts his leg and pee’s on Joel’s shoe. Something the dog has never done before. I now get the feeling that my internet days of surfing the World Wide Web are doomed.
Puter guy still shaking his foot, to dry it off, said; “Tito Paul, I think I know the problem.” With his foot fairly dry he goes into the deep dark bowels and dark recesses of my puter, hunting a little beast called “Mal-Ware” Please don’t even ask, as I was clueless as to what he meant. He found some hiding and exterminated them as they tried to run and hide.
But alas still no connection to the inter-web thingy, so with his head hung down, and a dejected look glued to his face the Mighty Joel the puter guy, crashed and burned in utter defeat. A sadder sight I’ve never seen! On his way out Moto-San the wonder dog, tried that leg lifting trick once more, I should have let him.
Monday morning, I take the New Old Honda to Mark’s Air/Con shop in Olongapo for its summertime A/C tune-up. While in the “Big PO” I went over to Globe Office to see what cock-bull story I’d receive from them. The ladies test and poke and prod my dongle. (Not a word, not one single comment will I accept concerning that statement, I’m warning you!) It is fine, humming along, can’t find anything wrong with it at all. Since it worked well on Mayang’s tablet and Ymir Thea’s I-Phone I believed them. But for P. 2,800.00 I could purchase the newest dongle which made my 7 month dongle obsolete this month. Remember the term “State of the Art, means soon to be replaced by something newer and better”
Tuesday, at home on the mountain suffering from Facebook withdrawal and knowing that one or two readers of my article are going unanswered. I think to myself, it must be my puter that is at fault; maybe if Joel reformatted my C-Drive it would solve my problem. But! He can’t make it up to the mountain for a couple of days. Live with it Paul. (I think his shoe is still wet)
Wednesday morning, all my e-books are updated, so why am I even sitting in front of my stand alone non puting’ puter’ looking at nothing Now that is plum dumb but I think I was yearning for those glorious days of yesteryear when I was online. I took a sip of coffee and looked at the wire that connected my dongle to my puter and thought; “Could it be?) And then in a last ditch, Hail Mary pass, I hooked the dongle to a new wire and, bells rang, a Celestial choir sang with Heavenly voices. Lights flashed, buzzers sounded and Paul was re-connected to the world once more. A wire, a stinkin’ wire was the cause of my five day banishment from the WEB. I took the wire outside and was walking to a trash fire that was burning up the street, thinking I be rid of this processed wire forever. Before I tossed it on to the flames of hell, a little girl gestured to me that she wanted the wire. I smiled and gave it to her thinking; “I wonder why she wanted that?” Then she started skipping rope (Wire?) and seemed, well, as pleased as the other kid in front of the Sari-sari with the 10 pesos. The USB fittings on both ends made a great handle.
I logged on to LiP, and took care to answer all comments on last week’s article, then jumped into Face Book and found that I was not missed at all, well my brother Dan, and my shipmate Randy did inquire as to my whereabouts and wondered if I’d left them anything in my will. Randy did post a very funny picture and comment that I’ve included here.
I can’t remember the exact verbiage to this quote or even who said it, so I’ll paraphrase; “Sometimes it is the simple answer, which solves the problem.”
A wire??? Damn Paul… That hurts. Glad to see back up and running… I thought you had gone on vacation…
Gary;
As simple as a wire and as the old adage goes “For the want of a nail the battle was lost…” Henceforth I’ll check wires and connections prior to purchases, phone calls to puter guys, and smashing my puter to tiny bits.
Paul,
My wife and I are staying with my brother while we wait for the final paperwork for my wife and we finally come to the Philippines. Just yesterday I was having a problem connecting to the internet. Odd. I knew my brother had reset his router, so I decided to run a couple of tests myself. Two reboots and a test later, I found myself attaching my internet wire he “inadvertently” left unplugged. I wonder if he’s hinting I’ve overstayed my welcome. LOL!
Glad you found your solution… maybe you should have let the dog take care of business. Just kidding. 🙂
Scott;
It sounds like something I’d do to my Brother Dan, but I’m evil that way (lol). I will trouble shoot all the simple things before I go off half cocked again.
i know his frustration…..i have had a bad cord on my Lenovo laptop
Donna;
So you also were Down To The Wire, I don’t feel so bad now.
LOL
There’s just something about having morning coffee ‘without’ Paul that messes up the whole day!
Randy;
I feel the same way, without me there I just don’t enjoy it.
If you wish to advertise your blog, I have no problem with that. However, I request for you to use your real name as the name on your comment. The link to your blog is fine, but the name should be your real name. Thanks.
Bob;
Randy got his wires crossed!
That is my real name. It’s as real as New York Bob, or Mindanao Bob, or Dans, or RichOB. I love double standards.
Randy;
Makes sense to me, but then most things do.
There is no double standard. You are free to use anything as long as it includes your real name. My real name is Bob and is included in the name that I use with my comments. Same for every other name you used as an example. I have asked you in a nice and non confrontational way. If you do not wish to honor my request, that is not a problem for me, but if you wish to participate here, you have to follow the rules that everybody already follows. It is your choice and I hold no hard feelings any way you decide.
hi yes we are down to the wire broke need help
living in tagum with daughter
own our land where a house was to be built cant afford
any ideas welcome
Ian;
I have no answer for that, I guess you could rent until your situation improves. But having your daughter is the bright spot that you should dwell on for now.
It is good to read that the problem was finally identified and corrected. As a bit of a bonus at least you had your PC checked out and malware removed. Internet addiction is something we do not always realize until we don’t have it. When my cable internet went out once for 5 days ( it took them that long to identify the problem and fix it ) when the landline phone company here came out with a deal on DSL that was too difficult to pass up, I got that too as a backup. Nice guard dog you have there Paul. LOL
Hi Bob;
I’m lucky to be online at all; a back-up would be sheer luxury. The five days vacation was not so bad, I needed to do one small piece of on-line banking and got to use my wife’s tablet which BTW was quite quick. So now all is back to normal or SNAFU as we used to say, back in the Navy.
Hi Paul,
It seems the boy found a peace of mind and fresh air at the top of the coconut tree,
he looks like he don’t want to get down and may be he want to built a bird’s nest at the
top of the tree lol. nice picture. have a good day.
Anne;
Years ago this old guy named Kalbo was a friend of my Father-in-law, and after he would drink with us he would climb the mango tree and sleep, in the 10 years that I knew him he never fell.
Kalbo is one lucky guy, Paul. The kapre who lives on that mango tree keeps him from falling.
John;
I had wondered why gravity didn’t seem to affect him.
DumbBro installed my WiMax back in July, worked great, now, only get Internet between 2 and 7 AM. They came to the house a few weeks ago to check out my complaint, and said, sorry wala signal.
But I had signal 3 months ago? Sorry sir, not any more.
Nothing they can or will do.
Paul,
We would’nt know what to do with your weekly article or your f/b. It just would not be the same lol. Anne saw some Japanese Spitz’s at a market and she liked them, so we will be getting one when our house is complete. Take care and have a nice day
PapaDuck;
I have 5 Spitz now my oldest is turning 15 this year. She is still healthy but moves a bit slower now, but then so do I. They are a sweet house dog and take one day to train. Mini-mum has had two litters when she was young and then no more. They are a great dog.
Mike;
That’s the way it is sometimes, but I’ll wager they still collect the money every month. Your retired, so 2-7 ain’t bad, take naps like I do.(lol) And remember; he did say he was sorry!
Hi Paul, Good article as usual.
All this talk of Malware and dongles that don’t “Dongle”, sort of begs me to ask the question, “Are any of you expats using Mac Computers?” Do you know anybody with a Macintosh computer there in the Philippines?
Thanks,
–Rich–
Rich;
It’s been so long I’d forgotten they still made Mac or anything by Apple, anymore, I did find out that if Apple made cars they would come without Windows.
But to tell you the truth with all the computer places I’ve been to, I’ve yet to see an Apple product. But with that, I can’t tell you that they are not here in the Philippines. So if any of you fellow Lip readers can answer Rich’s question, please chime in. (Rich, try toGoogle Apple/Mac in the Philippines and see what pops up.
Paul, yes, Mac’s ARE in the Philippines. Took about 30 seconds to find three … Apparently you need to look in large malls in major cities or shopping areas such as Manila, Davao City and Cebu City.
http://www.journeytosamal.com/2012/06/davao-city-power-mac-center/
2/F Greenbelt 1, Ayala Center, Makati City
Tel: 750-6084 • Fax: 750-0730
R3 Level Power Plant Mall, Rockwell Center, Makati City
Tel: 757-6687 • Fax: 757-3858
Also, iPhones are cleverly disguised Mac Computers!!! Same goes for the iPads.
Rich;
Well ain’t you good at that Google stuff, now we both know something new. I was thinking that it would be in a big city, kinda’ like finding a Kindle reader outside of Manila. I’m happy your question was answered, my work here is done and I’m going to reward myself with a frosty San Miguel Beer. Truth is I would have done that anyway!
Paul,
Collect all your unused wires and donate them to children! you will be starting a new game trend. a jumping rope… err… wire..
Dans;
To tell you the truth I’d much rather go to the toy store and buy real jump ropes than put up with 5 days offline because of a wire. It will be more expensive but better for my piece of mind.