Live in the Philippines

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How it Happened

Health / by

Paul & Mayang
Paul & Mayang

It was Saint Patrick’s Day in the morning.The guys from Cignal Satellite were on my roof tearing out the Dream System and installing the two new dishes. I came out and told Mayang that I didn’t feel so good. Then I was struck with diarrhea. This is where I cease being graphic after I tell you, that nothing but blood was coming out. Off to the hospital and my Doctor admitted me at once. A massive infection in my intestines and three operations to stop the bleeding, and 24 pints of whole blood so much FILIPINO blood that I woke up craving rice and thinking in Tagalog.

I lost the ability to talk because of all the anesthesia I had ingested during the three operations to keep the bleeding in check and keep me in the Philippines. Three weeks later I awoke from the fog and found that I was alive and a lot of my digestive tract was MIA. But Mayang was there smiling at me and quite happy to see me.

My memory was gone, I forgot how to use my computer; or even how get money from the NFCU or even write for LiP or Facebook, all gone. I thought the world was plotting against me. I could now really understand how Jeb Bush felt when he dropped out of the campaign. But slowly it all started coming back, one little thing would key in another.

In May they decided that if they sent me home I would get well faster, and they were right, the power of the familiar is indeed a wonderful thing. I struggled with my computer and found my way to my bank and moved some money here. But found that I was broke. I wondered where my money had gone or if even I had ever had it in the first place. A week later at 3am it came to me and I hobbled to the Puter and logged on to my bank, and this time scrolled down my list of accounts and found my IRA’s just sitting there waiting for me. Oh joy and happiness, but Mayang was upset because I went downstairs by myself (I used the handrails!)
A few days later I found LiP and an article that I hadn’t sent just waiting in the file. So after wracking my brain I remembered how to send it to Fearless Leader Bob. Files of jokes and tax information and useless stuff and all backed up on 2 one terabyte external memories. My thousands of albums of old rock and roll and country music just sitting there, I’m back babe, I’m back!

The humor gate had not fully opened as of yet, albeit I can see its funny, but I’m stumped as to how I can point it out.

So I’m missing my colon, but still have some inside bits left that will all be hooked up again as soon as I get stronger and gain back my weight (I’m at 126 and need to be back to 145 pounds) I weighed more than that but that was a beer belly and junk food. This was a brief history of why I was MIA for three months and the subject is now closed as far as I’m concerned but this was “How it Happened”. But of course some strange things happened that I will be writing about as some were just so damn funny. The picture above is of me after release at Texas Joes for a real meal and not hospital food. I am growing my mustache back, and have asked the doctor a few times why they removed it no answer. This will be my only picture without it…Treasure it!!!

Oh, and the crappiest Saint Patrick’s Day, this son of Ireland ever had.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I’m surprised you could keep a sense of humor about it after that experience! My goodness! Whatever caused that infection anyway? That’s pretty scary.

    • Liggy;
      Cause unknown, but I have found that without a sense of humor the world is doomed and someplace I wouldn’t want to be. And yes it was scary!

      • So glad you are recovering. I’ve been in the Philippines for over two years, about two months after arriving I got sick though not as sick as you descibe but still sick. Was sick for almost an entire year and was not really able to leave home because I needed a nearby bathroom.

        I stopped drinking water and switched to Gatorade and started to feel better near right away. Did not matter the brand of water I bought, they all got me sick but that was not all. I have since stopped eating at local restaurants unless they are huge known brands such as McDonald’s, Burger King, TGIF, Shaky’s and the like. Also shop most often at S&R and get my meats there, usually frozen from America. Also took many parasite cleaners… anyhow all of this has cured me and I’ve not be sick for about year now.

        I’ve since started drinking water again, I get bottled water and filter it again and since doing so I’ve not gotten sick.

        Prior to getting really sick did you from time to time feel a sick for a day or two?

        • Mike;
          Wow that sounds severe; I don’t think I could have been a Merchant seaman with problems like that. I drink bottled water but Gatorade is a favorite of my too.
          I was fine the morning I ended up in the hospital, I was eating breakfast and three hours later on the road to the emergency room. We have no idea why it happened.

    • Hey Paul, It’s great to know you made it and is still living happy, You’re an inspiration. I to retired navy went to work for MSC for 28 years now living in Alaminos City with my wife Nilda from this area retired MSC laundry person. Take care.

    • Jon;
      I was out yesterday and had chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy. Steaks are in my future not ready quite yet.Sooooooon……………..

    • Billy;
      I’m growing my trademark mustache again, but since it is the first time it was not there I have no Idea how long they take to grow. But I do miss it.(lol)

  5. Yep grow it back it make you look younger Haaha, see your drinking tea , give it time you will have a warm SM in your hand soon enough Mate Yeah buddy Hahahaha

  6. So happy to see you back and writing! Sundays evenings just weren’t the same without you, Paul !!! Take care of yourself! INGAT

  7. Paul,

    Glad you are slowly getting back to normal. You are so right, the mustache is Paul Thompson. Just continue to follow Mayang’s orders and you’re recovery will progress smoothly lol. Believe me I learned the hard way when i spent a couple of. days in the hospital a month ago to have my gallbladder and 2 gallstones removed

    • PapaDuck;
      I have a Doctors appoint tomorrow, but Mayang has one everyday all day, who do you think I listen too? I hope you’re feeling better after your operation.

  8. Man it is good to see ya back ! And hey your humor is intact. The FB POST are on fire . Ya give me a laugh everytime. And I figure I got roughly 300 days til I touch diwn in the land of hurry up and wait…. so ya got time to get back to fight in weight and we can have those cold lil brown buddies of sanity.

    Get to eat in kid !!!

  9. Hi Paul- Glad to know your well and back in the land of the living. Eating rice three times a day and speaking fluent Tagalog is not a bad trade off I’d say.
    Best wishes.
    Jim & Marilou.

  10. Bubba;
    Sitting at lunch with friends drinking ice tea, while they pound SMB’s doesn’t bother me but it drives me to get well quicker!(LOL)

  11. Jim;
    I’m back on mashed potatoes and English, and my fog is lifting exposing me to the clear light of day. I shutter when I think that I have one more operation in a few months to put everything right agai.n

  12. OMG dude …. Looks like u went thru holy hell!! What the hell happened?? Did they give you any kind of a suggestion as to what had happened to you???..Sounds in your writings you are getting back to normal but dam loss of memory what caused that ?? Anyway your alive and by the sound of it still kicking it…That’s all that counts…Hey bless you man ….. I am pretty sure your the favorite around here …””CHEERS””” but lets do it with WATER FOR A WHILE !!!!!

    • Lenny
      Anesthesia from 3 operations in 5 days I didn’t wake up for three weeks and the fog was upon me big time. Touch and go the first week, and no one knows what brought it on, I was fine until the day I wasn’t.

  14. I am glad you are doing better, You were missed here. No worries, there will be ice cold SMBs will be waiting on you. I don’t see the Philippines running out anytime soon.

  16. Paul:

    Best wishes as you recover and after the next, and hopefully last, surgery you will be fully recovered.

    You have certainly been missed and the withdrawal symptoms that occurred when you were unable to post will begin to dissipate from your regular readers. Whether you will be posting weekly or not I don’t know, but there is now hope for more unique insights.

    Take care and be well
    LeRoy

  17. Welcome back!
    You’re a good writer and I enjoy your take on the Philippines!
    Get well soon!

  19. Most welcome back Paul, & I wish u that in no time u gain back yr 145lbs, & more, like yr very famous moustache back.

  20. Hi Paul,
    Once again the end of my weekends will be complete by being able to read your articles here on ” LIP “. I hope your recovery will continue to improve and bring you back to good health again. I wonder if playing some of your favorite tunes you have stored away would help to bring your memory back ? I found a good one recently on youtube titled ” Everybody’s On The Phone ” by Jimmy Buffet. If you have not heard that one I think you would like it. LOL

    A few weeks ago I had another fantastic vacation visit to Iligan CIty. One of my friends there always enjoys the Apple flavor SMB that you mentioned. This time I tried one myself and found it very refreshing, especially when the accuweather website was telling me the temp there was ranging from 90 to 100 Deg F. during the day.

    All the best to you Paul for a speedy full recovery. Thanks for cluing us in on what happened.

  21. Bob (NY)
    Thanks to Bob Martin, I have every Jimmy Buffett ever minted. I know that song well and I’m pleased to know you are a Parrot Head like Bob and me.
    Apple flavored rum drinks maybe, but the world should really leave beer alone. (LOL)

  24. Hi Paul

    So glad you are on the road to recovery. Missed your Monday writing.

    Cheers

    AJ UK

  25. Hi Paul, get well soon you’ve had a rough time hopefully things will get better soon ,
    Just been to the doctors myself everything okay except I’ve got a fatty liver quite common the doctor said will have to cut back on fried food and alcohol for a while bang goes the
    Tanduay, going out tonight it’s my birthday going to take my wife to racks restaurant in
    Megamall for some ribs hopefully it will be as good as Texas Joe
    Nice to have you back, Derek in pasig .

    • Derek;
      A happy birthday to you, let us know how the ribs were. They opened a new rib joint on Subic, and it closed in 3 months. You can’t beat Joe’s.

  26. Glad to have you back Paul. And no idea what brought it on, that’s the scary part, as you have no idea what to avoid in the future. Gravy and biscuits always seem to put the weight on for me…just sayin.

    • Michael;
      After the crap they fed me in hospital, eating is easy. Who knows why it happened, but since most of my nasty bits are gone I can’t picture it coming back. (lol)

  27. Sir Paul! Thank the Lord you’re back and swigging SMB’s again. My girlfriend and I really enjoy your articles, there’s always a great sense of personal investment in them and dang it if we don’t all love more for it 🙂 Please take care of yourself sir!

  28. Paul missed your humor while you were gone. Sorry to hear all you went through and wish you a speedy recovery. Best thing is to take it slow and easy and just have another SMB! God bless you sir.

  29. Paul, it is so good to have you back Shipmate. Sure did miss your fun take on life in the Philippines. Listen to your wife as she is the best nurse/doctor. I know mine sure is as she cared (a little overkill) forms after my recent cervical spinal surgery. You get better, but take it slow. In time you will be 100%. Waiting for your next post. Fair winds and following seas my friend.

  30. Great to see you back and of course your Wife at your side. You need a good ration of S.O.S. or Chipped Beef to kick start that weight gain.
    How about a new look, a “Pencil Thin Mustache”

    • Neal;
      Boston Blackie Style You’re the seconded Jimmy Buffett reference today.I do know where to get SOS in the Barrio, that’s a great idea.

  31. Dear Sir Paul I am sooooo happy to hear you are doing better. Looking forward to finding out what caused the problem. Once again glad you are doing better. God bless you and your family. John Reiter

  32. Greg;
    First I heard of your surgery I hope it all worked out for you. Mrs. Thompson is over protective but because of what she went through taking care of me I nod my head smile and do what she wants.

  33. I had my Collon bowl removed a few years ago now got a bag did you have hole lot taken out ??
    Hope to move to Philippines in next couple of years with my girl friend

    • Ken;
      The colon and a large portion of intestines are now biological waste. I have a temporary bag, but my other bits are still in there and will be reattached in July or August. Happy days are coming!

      • Paul,

        Had my Colon removed about 8 years ago now. Had the bag for a few months until the Doc put me back together with a J-Pouch. Sounds like what they are going to do for you. If you have any questions shot me an email. I probably suffered through it in the months I was sick.

  35. Paul, great to have you on the mend. Your recovery shows me that old Navy guys are tougher than titanium drill bits. God speed with your recovery.
    P.S. I have a theory about the missing mustache but now is not the time for such. Prayers for your complete recovery.

    • Old Air Force Guy:
      I had a Doctor’s appointment today, and it was feeding tubes in my mouth and the tape wouldn’t stick to the mustache. Okay I’ll buy that, but don’t do it again. It was on my lip for 50 years and I have no idea how long they take to grow! (lol) By the way the Air Force and I were both born in 1947.

  36. That was one hell of an experience you & Mayang went through. Glad you are home watching the new big TV. Do you remember bitching in the hospital about the 13 ” TV you couldn’t see or hear when you had just purchased a big screen before being hospitalized?

  37. Glad your back Paul, and feeling better. With your positive attitude, you will be back to your previous pre-St. Patrick’s day self, in short time.

    Hell, I can put on 20lbs over a good weekend, it seems, problem is,with me it seems to stay on rather than the way I used to be and I could eat anything and never gain a pound, but those days are gone for me now.

    Eat a dozen glazed doughnuts a day that should help, plus they taste good too.

    I wanted to also thank your daughter for giving us updates on Facebook, I am sure it was hard on her being so far away from you during this.

    • Bill;
      My girls are both sweethearts and I will pass along your thanks.
      Was born not far from where Dunkin Donuts started, thanks for reminding me how good they are.

  38. Hi Paul,
    Great to see you back in action. I wish you a full and speedy recovery. I really missed your weekly contributions here on LIP.
    I look forward to reading all your future articles.
    Best wishes to you and your family, from the UK.
    Take good care.
    Davao Dave.

  39. Paul,
    As they say” Any day above ground is a good day”. Glad you are still above ground.

  40. So very happy that you’ve returned from the edge, Shipmate. Will try to drop in on “D-town” around the Halloween – All Saints -Thanksgiving portion of the “…ber months” and spin a few tails with you, provided we’re both up to it.

    Writing from CONUS – have a number of tests and procedures to endure here at the WPAFB Medical Center on my dance card, and I hear the orchestra tuning up. Hoping for the best, with acceptance levels fixed at “second best.”

    Yet, a bit of wonder plagues my less than brilliant mind: Did you happen to overhear anyone say, “Lemme see dat chart, again” after they shaved your ‘stache? 😮

    • Paul;
      Not an answer about the stash from anyone. Here is hoping I can have an adult beverage by October, I’d love that I hope your procedure goes better than mine, but now that it’s past I feel better

  41. Paul,

    You were truly missed!

    Strange how the absence of someone I don’t know, never spoke to or even know effected my life.

    Enjoyed reading all the encouragement from so many wonderful people almost as much as your post…almost.

    You are blessed with so many friends, admirers and family!

    Welcome home!

    Welcome back!

    – a “friend” in Bobol

  42. Roy;
    I really did miss all the people I’ve interacted with here on LiP, My first two weeks after the hospital I was in a fog, and thought that LiP was no longer something I could do. Now I know that humor is in my blood (Or the blood of the 24 strangers whose blood I received) I am lucky to have all these friends here on Facebook and in real life that were worried about me. It inspired me to start writing again.

  43. Filipino Paul’s Menu:

    Pre-Breakfast:

    Pandesal & Filipino Peanut Butter
    3-in-1 Instant Coffee

    Breakfast:

    Dried Fish & Rice
    Seaweed Salad
    3-in-1 Instant Coffee

    Lunch:

    Jolibees Sweet Spaghetti with Nuclear Hotdogs
    Pineapple Juice
    Halo-Halo

    Afternoon Snack:

    Balut & Rice
    Red Horse Beer

    Dinner:

    Pork Blood Stew with Rice
    Bitter Mellon
    Tuba

    Nightcap:

    Tanduay Rum & RC Cola

    Enjoy your Filipino blood and God bless!

    Peace

    Jay

    • Jay;
      Very funny (lol) It was close to eating like that in the hospital, but my minder can drive so towards the end I was eating good. But the beer and rum has been removed from my diet for the rest of the year.

      • Hi Paul,

        I am glad I don’t own stock in the San Miquel Brewing Company as I have a feeling sells will be down for the rest of the year! Let me know when you are about to go off the wagon, so I can buy low.

        Peace

        Jay

  47. Dang!!! Horrible. The saying bad things happen to good people is true in your case.

    Good bless.

  49. Paul, glad to hear you are doing better. I missed your weekly columns for the three months and anticipate many more in the future. Take care from a fellow New Englander.

  50. Hi Paul,
    Glad you’re back! I no longer visit the site regularly, but when I do, it’s your articles that I’m always seeking first. Your looks is much different today than the last Paul I remember. Medyo nabawasan ang pagka pogi, hehehe. But anyway babalik din yan just like your mustache is growing. The only thing that never changed is your sense of humor. It’s still there and that’s good. That means you will bring smiles again to your readers. I think you’re a great contributor to the site. Here’s hoping for your full and speedy recovery. Cheers!

    • Louie;
      First: you should visit Bob’s site every week, as there is always other interesting articles beside mine. Every day when I log on I read the new articles before going to my article to respond to your comments. Thank you for dropping by and I hope you continue to enjoy Bob’s site.

  51. JoeM
    We New Englanders are a hearty lot, spitting in the eye of adversity. As I think I said in another comment, writing for LiP is therapeutic for me.

  52. I’m glad to see you’re back and healing up.
    We were worried for you and your family; plus, we really missed your LIP articles and jokes.
    I guess forgetting how to do things is fairly common. A friend of mine was in a car accident and badly injured. He had to stay in the hospital for three months, the first three weeks in the ICU in a drug induced coma. When he was released, he forgot how to do his email, Facebook, and even forgot how to drive. It’s been almost a year and he’s still relearning things he used to be able to do without much thought or effort. It sounds like you’re recovering pretty quickly though, which is great.
    Take care of yourself and stay healthy.

  53. WHEW!
    What a scary experience, Paul.
    Welcome to the ‘Shortened Colon Club’, I have been a member since June 11, 2015.
    I neglected to have a colonoscopy performed as recommended at age 50, 55, 60 because I had no health insurance at that time. I finally had a colonoscopy at age 65… bingo… gold mine… he found numerous “matured” polyps; one even being malignant! Surgeon removed 1.5 feet of upper colon and as a free bonus my appendix too. Fortunately the lower colon, rectum (poop schute, and anus were left intact. After a week in the hospital I was allowed to return home. I had lost 20pounds and weighed in @130#. After a few weeks I began to feel normal and less weak. I kind of like being my former high school weight again, but people say I’m too skinny, my B.M.I. is 22 smack in the middle of normal now… people are too used to the new ‘overweight’ normal.

    Wishing you a great recovery, Paul; and welcome to the ‘Club’ …!

  54. Paul,
    I put this adventure in a separate post so as not to obscure the first one.
    Here goes:
    In 1980 I was called on my first out of town marine electrical job for Maritime Overseas. I was thrilled!
    That Friday a friend called me to see his new sailboat which he had moored at the Gandy Marina near the Gandy Bridge in Pinellas County. We were to meet at the nearby restaurant and have dinner. We had just finished a great meal of spaghetti and meatballs cooked by my wife at the time… still in the honeymoon phase…
    We went to the restaurant and joined them for dinner.
    Since I had just eaten I ordered fish spread and crackers. BIG MISTAKE!
    That Damm fish spread must have been residing in the back of their refrigerator for weeks. It tasted ok, but that night diarrhea set in. Instead of fasting and giving my intestines a chance to recover I just ate more food… and out it went.
    I had somewhat recovered and flew up to Philadelphia to work on the ship. I still had the diarrhea and there was blood included. I worked on the ship for a week becoming steadily weaker due to the continuous blood loss. Finally I couldn’t climb the stairs without stopping to rest every couple of steps. The captain decided I should go to the Pennsylvania General Hospital; covered to merchant marine perssonell under the ‘public health law’.
    It was soon to be ‘axed’ <–(real word, not ebonics) by Regan! I was there for a week diagnosed with severe food poisoning. I was in intensive care. I was given only jello and broth to allow my intestines to heal on their own. Then came time for the COLONOSCOPY! YIKES!
    Techniques were far different back then, far more primitive.
    I was given a soda bottle of 'liquid plumber for humans' to drink.
    I did.
    It worked.
    Too well.
    The blood came back.
    Back to bed for more recovery.
    Second time given the bottle of 'liquid plumber for humans'.
    I poured it down the sink.
    Why could I need it; no solid food for 2 weeks, only broth and jello.
    The primitive colonoscopy:
    Kneel doggy style on the gurney.
    No ANUS-thesia.
    Cold refrigerated stainless steel pipe inserted into rectum.
    A crowd of student doctors and nurses gathered around to see the insides of me.
    The lead conductor "doctor" said "Look at the mucosi…!" "Eww…!" "Ahh…!" was the response.
    I just turned to ask the doctor of the significance of the mucosi…, but they had all turned and left.
    I still wonder…

    I was discharged.

    I couldn't eat seafood afterwards for years.

    Then 35 years later I was dignosed with polyps "up there".

    Wonder if it was related…?

    Hope my retelling of this long ago incident gives you a chuckle, Paul…!

    • Addendum:
      While I was in the Pennsylvania General Hospital in Philadelphia I was asked if I wanted a blood transfusion to make our for the pints I had lost. I replied, no I prefer to make my own. I didn’t want any ‘wino’ blood in me front a five buck donation center.
      Little did I know back in 1981 the blood was not screened for the AIDS virus, hell, AIDS had not yet been discovered and classified.

      It was a lucky decision.

      I lost a fraternity buddy to AIDS 4 years later…

      WHEW…!