My Tuesday morning, last week sent me out early with a list of chores that I had planned on accomplishing all in one day. Then I could take the rest of the week off to enjoy having an adult beverage with friends under the mango tree. But it just wasn’t in the cards, as I kept adding little things on to the list trying to outfox the Philippine Bureaucrats, I should know better than to try and do that.
First I was to go to the Western Union so my wife can pick up the money we requested from the States. As I’m standing there I remember that the Immigration Office was just a hop skip and a jump away, but because of heavy traffic I decided to walk there. I guess-ta-mated that it should take a couple of minutes to pay my yearly “Head Tax” to the Philippine Government and keep them smiling for one more year.
To my surprise it was not done the way it was just the year before. Where you just show the I-Card, he/she swipes it through the computer and you pay the PHP 320 and leave, no muss no fuss. This year someone decided this was not efficient, so it was decided to go back to the way we did it in 1992. So out came the old cardboard cards which you fill out by hand, and mess your hands up applying your thumb prints the old fashion way, with ink. Plus the all important 2X2 photo which thankfully they had a man standing by to take your picture for only PHP 30, luckily I was there on a day when no baptismal or weddings were planned so the photo man was there. Time marches on, albeit in reverse once again!
One slight glitch was while filling out the card I couldn’t remember the day I got married, my wife was still at Western Union. So I figured if I didn’t know it, the people in Immigration damn sure didn’t know it. So I took a guess.
Pertaining to the date of marriage, if my wife was there I would have asked; Honey KO what day did we marry, and she would have answered with a frown, 19 April, to which I would have said; Sweetheart I know that, but was it a Friday or Saturday. Do you see what I did, pure misdirection, I’ve still got it!
Down the road we go from the BOI and Western Union business accomplished, so let’s get on with my day. The Head Tax is done; let’s deal with the brand new SIN TAX on smokes and booze. A ream of cigarettes which last month cost PHP 285 now cost 385, a 10 peso increase per pack. So a pack now costs near to a dollar a pack. I smacked myself on the head and shouted; “Thats what I paid in the 1970’s, who ever thought they’d be that cheap again?” To non- smokers, they will get you on the booze side of the house, so don’t lecture me! The Booze, as I knew the increase was coming so with foresight I bought 2 cases of my 12 Year Old Superior Rum in December, along with extra beer and put off the Sin Tax for awhile on booze that is.
Now for our monthly shopping on Subic Freeport.; But effective 1 January 2013 the plastic shopping bag is banned from the Freeport. It seems that the tourists were confused thinking that the plastic bag was the Philippines National Flower, which it pretty much is as they seem to grow on every street. So now you must buy cloth shopping bags, which I had done a year ago as they give you double Loyalty Points when you shop using the cloth bag. The trunk of the New Old Honda is full of them, Wow, Paul went green! But you could hear the other people who were getting everything packed into old boxes moaning and groaning, while I was smiling.
Finish shopping, fill the gas tank and head back to the house, patting myself on the back because it was 1330 hours and I was done, home in time to breakout my R2D2 Reading android pad tablet little computer thingy, enjoy a book and then take a well earned Battle Nap. Ain’t gonna’ happen!
It seems there is one more Tax to pay; the City of Dinalupihan Bataan requires that once a year we pay Property Tax on our abode. Off to City Hall to perform this last chore prior to having the first cold adult beverage of the day. The TAX on our domicile is PHP 12,000 per year, BUT, if you pay it early it’s reduced to PNP 9,000. Mumm save 3,000 pesos by just driving to City Hall a few weeks early, yeah, I’ll do that, as that will cover a lot of Sin Taxes for the rest of the year! I am a crafty old dude.
That ends my Philippine Tax Season for this year, and I was never even close to going over the Fiscal Cliff, amazing what can be accomplished in one day if you make a plan, stick to the plan, and promise yourself an Ice Cold Beer or cocktail when you complete your plan and still be home on time that Tuesday for cocktails under the Mango tree, are you coming.
Don’t you wish others that you elect could do the same?
When I was a young man living in Kansas I could buy a reem of Winston’s for $2.50. Yep that is US Dollars. Now it is $5.00 per pack…. It is more fun in the Philippines, cheaper too. 😛
Gary;
$1.10 a ream in the ship’s store, and a Zippo lighter was $3.25. But It’s more cheaper in the Philippines.
Paul, happy to hear you got all the taxes paid for another year. Do you have any of the 2 cases of 12 Year Old Superior left? How much did it go up? What with the taxes going up and the dollar going down I may have to cut back on the ribs at Texas Joe’s so I will have enough to buy SMB’s. Hope to be there the last week of Feb.
Loren;
I have plenty left, and we’ll dent it whan you get here. Since I’ve not paid the new price yet I don’t care what it is! (lol) evebn then do we really care? Friday Nights at By-The-Sea Mongolian BBQ. We’ll do that too.
Hey Paul,
Been a fan of this site for a while now. I also am 20 year CPO US Navy retiree and and planning for eventual retirement in Olongapo area where my asawa is from. I enjoy your articles very much, as it provides a great insight into what to expect. In fact enjoying 2 weeks vacation now in PI, but sadly must return to mundane life as working man in Naples Italy at end of this week. Your comment about property tax is interesting as I see Olongapo working on a GIS system for that same reason. I think when property tax comes due for first time here it will be huge shock. Is your tax based on value of property or sqr mtrs? Keep up the great work, and I hope to have chance to meet one day in future.
FWAFS, Ed
Ed;
How do they value the price off your house for taxes? It’s a formula that defies logic. The size of course, do you have a brick fence, how many fruit bearing trees are on the land. Do you look like you have the money to pay?
Phase two; how many beers did you buy the tax dude, and did you feed him also?
I spent in excess of PHP 7,000,000 building my house; the tax dude valued it at PHP 300,000. How he came up with that number I’ll never know but they only do it once so have it appraised while it’s under construction. To sum it up they have no idea what the hell they are doing. But mine is low and I live with it. (LOL)
Always appreciate the humor in your articles Paul as I usually remember the way you put certain situations into a, why get annoyed and upset, just see the humor in it frame of mind. This has been very helpful to me in a few situations I have encountered on some of my visits.
Cigarettes up to 385 peso per ream ? Here in New York you’d pay the equivalent of over 4000 PHP for a carton ( USA term for PH ream ) and more! Slightly less in nearby Connecticut.
Bob;
I just read that 60% of all cigarettes in New York are smuggled in, how that for liberals taxing the crap out of something, until they create a black-market and receive no taxes on the product. Unless like the Kennedy’s during the thirties the politicians are the one’s doing the smuggling.
So here in 2013 I’m paying $1.00 a pack, time does indeed march backwards in the RP.
In the city centre here I pay £8.40 for a pack of 20 thats about $12 for one pack. Im told its a health tax but I really dont feel any healthier since I started to pay it.
Corjo;
When smokes get that high I’ll be the one smuggling them into the country. Health tax my butt!
Hi Paul- I’m still chuckling yet between your sins and your tax.Maybe on your demise you should donate your old frame to medical science as I’m sure convinced some medical boffin would be very interested in how your liver has lasted as long as it has with all the sins commited to it. On the other hand just maybe its so well preserved it will make a fortune in revenue for the Philippine Tax Authorities.
Best wishes.
Jim.
Jim;
I have a physical every year and they’ve found nothing wrong yet, even my lungs still look good, or as good a set of 66 year old lungs can look. As for the liver it just keeps humming along out of sheer force of habit. And teenagers think they’re indestructible? I think I’ll have a cocktail this afternoon.
Enjoyed it, as usual, Paul. Philippine taxes are a puzzle to me. Whenever I ask how much they are, the answers range from “Not much.” to “Don’t you worry about it.” I’ll have to get a handle on it soon. Our move is getting closer & closer.
Take care,
Pete
Pete;
People tell you that because it’s the truth, they really aren’t very much. We don’t pay income tax and property tax if you own is the biggest one you’ll pay. The new sin tax will be forgotten soon and it will just be the normal price of smokes and booze in a few months.
Thanks Paul. The goodwyfe is half owner of a business. I guess I just like to be sure of things. I get along well with bahala nah in day to day things. (I am retired, after all.) Not so much when business & money come into play.
Take care,
Pete
Pete;
The Business owner will purchase from the distributer who is the one to pay the sin tax and include it into the wholesale price.
Im not allowed money, I see it at the ATM then it vanishes inside that great thing women carry on their shoulder, that I am not strong enough to lift never to be seen again.
John;
I fully know what you’re talking about, I seldom carry money myself.
Paul, I know I should probably know this and I know properties are appraised when they are built but, do you know if properties are also appraised upon resale or transfer? So how much food and beer did you provide the tax dude? B|
Randy;
As far as I know, and that’s not very far, the tax stays the same but since I’ll never sell or buy again I’ll never find out.
I got the tax dude drunk, he never went back to work that day, I think his boss is still wondering where he is!
Paul,
I’ll be glad when i have the opportunity to pay taxes there. It will be here before you know it. The sin tax won’t bother me in the least. In fact the value of the dollar dropping is better for me. Next week should know exactly when my last working day in the jail will be. Take care.
Papa Duck;
Do you remember when you were a kid and how long it took for Christmas to get here? Well retirement is the same way, it seems to take forever. Then that first day that you wake up on time in the morning and then relize there is nowhere you have to be today. That’s joy beyond belief, and like me 12 years later it still feels good!
Sin Tax, I don care bout no stinkin’ sin tax!