Live in the Philippines

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Just Another Brick In The Wall

Expats / by

Back in November I wrote “Who Gave You Permission” about the empty land beside my house. Two weeks ago this guy shows up with a construction crew to wall it in. Was it the same guy and his wife that were here a couple of months ago? Absolutely not, it was the son of the man who owns the land (really) and his father sent him the money to build the wall. This new guy showed up with Chano who is our Barangay Chairman and a cocktail partner of mine. So this was the real deal.

Chano introduced me to the new guy and he seemed very nice, he spoke to the owner of the squatter Sari-sari store and explained what was going to happen. He allowed them to remain on the land while the work was underway and with the help of Chano found them another piece of land to set up their store on. He also contracted with the store to feed lunch to his crew while they are there.

I was talking to him almost every day and took a chance and asked; “Who is the rude dude that was here in November?” He frowned and said; “He was a cousin who tended to interfere in family matters if he thinks there is a peso or two in it for him.” Now I know that all us LiP readers have met him, or someone of the same ilk, or worst, he might even be within our own families… But you know who I’m talking about.

The Basketball court will be moved to another plot of land up the road soon, and on the side of his land on the far side from mine he has allowed for an access lane for the five or six families who live behind him. All in all he has been accommodating to all whom will be affected by the changes he has made, concerning his Fathers land.

Now the Kano factor comes into play, Chano came to me and asked if the new dude could attach his wall to my existing wall at the front and rear of his property. I said no. That caused Chano to take a step back, and give me an odd look. Chano then asked me; “Why not?” To which I replied; “He’s never asked me.” Chano smiled with understanding as to how I felt and went to the man with my answer.

The following day the gentleman knocked on my gate and told me what he wanted to do, and I responded in the affirmative, and said I have no problem with that. He explained that he had been shy to ask me and that’s why Chano was the one, to be the one, to ask me. I understood that!

All that was required now was a Barangay Letter as to our agreement, so in the future there could be no problems between us, as to ownership of my wall. It made sense to me. Could you imagine where we are from (Canada US Australia or Europe) trying to do the same simple thing? With lawyers and city councils involved, and how much your act of being a good neighbor would cost you?

Well things change; I’ll miss the Sari-sari store being beside my house as the owners are hardworking people who are quick to smile and sold really cold beer. I know I have beer at my house but sometimes it’s fun to sit at store and have a beer with your neighbors, it’s a great equalizer. I’ll miss standing on my roof patio and watching the basketball games played on the court next door. But the kids still play that game where they throw a slipper at the can and run like the wind in front of my house yelling and laughing and seemingly having a great time. All without the aid of anything store bought. Does the noise bother me? Hell no, as it’s “Happy Noise” and that could never be a bad thing. Now the firecrackers we can talk about!

I know the things I write about here on LiP don’t really seem important, but I do hope it shows people a slice of daily life here in the Philippines and how it really is. Those of you that live here know what I’m talking about, those planning on the move here will soon find out. It’s different here, but mostly in a good way!

Addendum To the above story

A deal was struck between the owner of the land and the Sari-Sari store owner. The owner of the land turned out to be a better man than we all thought, the Sari-Sari will remain free of charge and act as caretakers of the land for the next two years, the basketball court is being allowed to stay also. I just found this out today (Sunday 20 Jan.) but had submitted the story to Fearless leader Bob Martin yesterday. What a nice guy, both him and Bob!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. what a nice happy ending. sometimes we just wanna keep things the way they have always been in a busy world that seems to change so fast. i can hardly wait to experience life there in the RP. thanks for the article

    • Donna;
      I’s been talking to the owners son near everyday and found him to be a nice guy, my respect for him was off the charts after I heard the deal he made.

  5. Paul, I just wanted to say how impressed I am with your constant good humour and good temper.. Most of your stories I think to myself ‘wow I would have completely lost it by now.’ Just goes to show that some dispositions are more suited to life in the Philippines then others.

    • Stacey;
      It occurred to me when I joined the Navy years ago, that there are things you can’t change. But they were easier to contend with if you could find the humor (We don’t add the “U” in the states, lol) within the situation. For this very reason I would not have been a good policeman, I’d arrest a very few. But I’ve adapted to life and people all over the world and I enjoy most of them. Paris not so much, when I found that the French don’t even like themselves.

      • Thats largely true Paul, the French don’t like anyone, and as you say, they’re not even sure about themselves. I suspect it comes from the sore backsides they got from sitting on the wall during the war!

  6. Paul, I see a wonderful opportunity for holding regular tagay sessions at the sari-sari store in the late afternoon when the heat has cooled down. This is a practice that I so missed in my barrio Salaza. In the picture, I noticed a small table to the side of the store. It can hold a large bottle of Ginebra San Miguel, a pitcher of water, a bowl of pulutan, and a single rock glass – all of which to be supplied by the store. Tagay participants sit around the table, shoot the breeze, take turns drinking the gin with the same glass that is passed around, and, of course, enjoy the pulutan. About the pulutan, take your pick, but I prefer raw squid soaked in vinegar, some salt, chopped onions and garlic. The pusit goes well with the gin, IMO. Oh, there’s a pitcher of water for the sissies who can’t drink their gin straight up. LOL

    Tagay in the barrios at day’s end is perhaps one of the most endearing part of Pinoy culture that may already have been superseded by technology, like the karaoke. Perhaps you can reinforce this practice by holding the first tagay session in your Barangay Roosevelt along with your Kano buddies and the barangay captain. I think he’d love to be a part of the original group. Pretty soon, the men in the neighborhood will join in, and the squatter sari-sari store can finally start raking in some profit in the process.

    • John;
      Tagay I’ve watched that around my area quite a bit, I will join in but with a beer and not partake of the gin. I like my gin in a tall glass with tonic and plenty of ice. But I’m fine with the pulatan.

  7. Pretty darn good story…sounds like cool guys…. and thats good to know…BUT !!! Basketball??? Looking??? Hey ….get your rear end on the court and shoot a few hoops buddy !!… I did when I was in Manila Area and I wish their was a court nearby to continue… Good excercise at our age and fun too.. A few bruises, but a lot of fun playing with the 20 year olds.. hahahah… Seems like your a happy guy and that’s good also.. Keep it trucking …………….

  8. I wish the people who spend their days obsessing over costs in the Philippines would read and absorb great articles like this, Paul.

    One thing which I find very hard to deal with living in the Philippines are situations like the fellow being afraid to ask you permission to tie into your fence. This sort of thing happens all the time … and we foreigners will have to get used to it, we will not change it.
    I have a neighbor like this .. he continually seeks out our helper and asks him to ask me. Shyness is one thing, but there’s a real effect on the person who is continually ignored. It feels like living in an isolation bubble at times. Not pleasant at all.

    Over time the feeling builds up … has to be constantly guarded against. Some may think I have an “Onion Skin”, and I guess I do, but it hurts when people won’t talk to you.

    There is SO much more than cost comparisons to think about when deciding on living in the Philippines … that’s for sure.

    • Hi Dave;
      Reading your comment and then John’s explanation below about it being a cultural thing, I’m kinda torn as to which way to go. I like a man to come up to me directly with his request, and your point about feeling left out rings true. The one good thing is he didn’t send a lawyer to ask me. (lol)

      • Yep, I understand the cultural/status aspects as well, John is certainly right. But I also am hearing what Bob NY is saying. It’s hard enough doing things with a ‘go between” when all parties are sharing language and culture.

        When you send someone else to request/negotiate in a different language and culture, it’s very difficult.

        One reason I normally never do what many other foreigners recommend .. ‘send a Filipino friend or relative to buy things for me”. You may or may not pay less, but you often don’t get what you really wanted.

        Your “KenDoll” story a few weeks back was a great example 😉

  9. Paul, just a bit of insight into the matter dealing with a third party to intercede in one’s behalf. Remember that by culture, the Pinoy is taught to be humble and not given to acts that may be falsely interpreted as being direct or confrontational. Additionally, by temperament, the Pinoy on average is a sensitive person. A third party is usually employed by the Pinoy who wishes to request a favor from someone whom he perceives as socially superior and holds in high regard. Under ordinary circumstances, a Pinoy would rarely ask an intermediary to act in his behalf if he were dealing with someone his equal or someone below his social status. So, in effect a third party involvement is a sign of respect, rather than of disrespect. Also, being the sensitive person that he is, the Pinoy, by employing a third party to act as a buffer, minimizes the pain of embarrassment in case of rejection.

    • Thanks John Reyes for your explanation of this bit of Filipino Culture. I have experienced this on my visits with one of my friends there who would ask someone else to ask me something. When I figured out what was going on, I asked a close friend of mine who is also a close friend of the one doing the 3rd party asking, to try and explain to them in their own language that it would be less confusing for me and less chance of error etc. if the person doing the original asking would ask me instead of asking others to do the asking for them. The way I kind of put it was ” Hey, I’m a Kano visitor, humor me ” . Part of the reply, as I remember it was that some Filipino are too shy to ask, especially if it asking a foreigner who can not communicate easily in the local language. I accepted that explanation but I think we got that situation straightened out.

      Your explanation confirms this situation. I am sure others may experience something like this at one time or another. I guess Paul did in what he has written about in his article.

      I commented to Bob Martin recently that ” LIP ” is really turning into an encyclopedia of information about The Philippines in many respects and this article and comments go right along with that.

    • John;
      I understand that cultural difference, but we had been talking almost every day, and had gotten to know each other so I considered him a man of value. Me, I’m socially superior to whom? But I’ll remember that in the future.

  10. John,
    Thanks for the explanation. I’m sure it will come in handy in the future. Take care and stay safe.

    • You’re welcome, Papa Duck. How’d your meeting go with HR? I remember well the feeling of excitement in meeting with Human Resources prior to my retirement. I brought in my wife to help me sort out the details, because there were so many things to remember. You probably have hundreds of unused sick leave hours that can be added to your years of State service, as well. Also, I learned from this site that there is a Blue Cross/Blue Shield in the Philippines. If I were retiring to the Philippines, I know I’d much rather have Blue Cross even though it’s probably more expensive than a Philippine-issued health insurance. Good luck on the much-anticipated July or August retirement date, Papa Duck!

      • FYI on Blue Cross/Blue Shield. In the USA, there are many separate companies under the Blue Cross “flag”. If you can carry your Blue Cross into retirement, your plan may or may not serve you directly from the Philippines (pay first and then submit the bills for reimbursement, less any required deductibles). Consult the official brochure for your plan which you received from your agency HR. Don’t listen to “scuttlebutt” sources as many in the US have no real idea how these plans work overseas.

        The is also a separate Blue Cross Philippines who offer similar plans to those that the US-based Blue Cross’s do. I have a business relationship with them and I can help you through the “thicket” of getting detailed information on their plans if you are interested. dave(at)philfaqs(dot)com or leave a message at 1-719-966-4295 (US number)

        • Dave:
          I just attended a meeting with the TriCare people and its back with a test program. The only part I didn’t like was when they opened it up for questions and the stupidity of my fellow Kano’s leaped to the forefront. I took the info provided and went across the street and had lunch.

      • John,
        My visit went great with HR. My last day of work will be May 27th Memorial Day. But i will still be on payroll until March 1st 2014. It sure feels good now to have a set retirement date. I will get paid for half of my sick time hours (approx 1400 on the books) and lose the rest unfortunately. We can not use sick time for leave. I will have to come back to the States in January 2014 to finish my retirement papers with the Florida Retirement System. We will have Sun Life of Canada as our Health Insurance in the Philippines. Take care and stay safe

        @Dave Starr – Thanks so much for the info on Blue Cross. I was considering that as an option.

  11. Paul,
    All well that ends well. The owner of the land will be rewarded many times over with good karma. It’s always nice to do good things to help people. We plan on doing that when i move there. Have some cold SMB’s ready Sir Paul lol. Should be there by end of July. Have a nice day

    • PapaDuck;
      There was a group of us neighbors sitting out back in my yard having beer and cocktails last night. July is a short time away; I’m looking forward to seeing you and Anne again.

  12. Paul,

    It’s your articles, the ones about the simple happy life that make me yearn for a faster move there. I am sure the fence going up was, at first, a stressful time but it seemed to end well for everyone involved.

    Ain’t it funny how a rude family member or friend can ruin a perspective of everyone else seemingly involved with just a few harsh words or actions?

    I’m glad things worked out well for the lot, the store, the kids, the neighbors, and you!

    Take care!

    Scott

    • Scott;
      As I said above we all know that type of person, I just feel they are not worth my time to deal with them. But you are right, it did workout for the best for all concerned.

  13. Thank you Paul.
    Your article,and the responses, have prompted me to finally make a contribution to the site.Much of the detail you provide was lost on me as a non resident but your obvious affection for the Philippines shone through.
    I have been in a relationship with a Filipina for almost 3 years and after 3 visits, moving to the islands is a future posssibility.
    Reading the articles on this website has been so helpful in providing an insight to expat life and the opportunites for a happy retirement in the Philippines.
    Thanks to all the regular contributors for the ‘feel’ of the country your posts provide.
    ps Paul. I am English and should point out we did not add the ‘u’ to humour. Americans subtracted it !

    • Jon;
      We took out the “U” in all those words like, neighbor harbor because Canada kept them, how else could you tell us apart?
      I’ve found that living here is far easier if you just accept that it is different from our home country, and isn’t that why we left, to try something new? I’ll not try to sugarcoat it and tell anyone its easy, but at the risk of repeating myself it goes a lot smoother with a good sense of humour (See I tried it your way and spell Check didn’t accept it.) If reading the articles on LiP have helped you in anyway then our work here is done, let’s go have a beer! I hope you can get here soon.

    • Hi Anne;
      It’s a fun place to live, that’s for sure.
      Maybe you can help, I msg’ed PapaDuck twice to send me an e-mail, as the e-mail address he sent was rejected.

      • ok i will let him know about your request from him, but he told me before that
        he already sent you his new email address because his former email address is not longer existing, there is a problem that is why he swicth to another one. he cnt
        log in into his yahoo mail. just keep silent…. please might papa duck has altzimer’s.. joke… be safe.